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So what's with the myth that Japanese women like gaijin?

I think the consensus in this thread is that it's not hard for western guys to find a Japanese GF at all, unless they limit themselves to only dating gorgeous 20 year olds. I personally find it much easier to have fun here, because there's no religious BS to deal with and so many married ladies looking for an affair.

If you want a girl in the top 5% of looks you better have something great to offer her, in Japan or any other country. Those girls get showered with attention all day, every day and don't have to work for much.

I know a lot of contract workers, OLs, part timers, etc. They have very limited career prospects and generally are expected to get married and stay home ASAP. That's just how it works in Japan. The few with good educations and careers work 12+ hour days and barely have any time for dating.

I don't think the sex industry is a good place to work, but I can see the appeal for someone who doesn't want to work hard or has no skills.
 
Solong said:
@drewz

Are you assuming that only White men are in Japan or use this website?

What happened to Asian men from other countries, Latinos, Blacks, India, Turks, Arabs, etc...

Are you assuming that just about all Whites do well with Japanese?
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I simply replied to a post about western guys having trouble, and western implies white. See plenty of Japanese girls who go for black guys too. Not really interested in discussing Japanese racism, it's well known.

I would say that just about any white guy from Europe or North America, without serious physical or mental defects, can find a Japanese GF, yeah. If he wants a 20yo model then it's gonna be a lot more work and probably require good Japanese skills. And he better have something good to offer her.
 
Lorddisick said:
The thing I find "disgusting" is many western guys (maybe even Japanese ones ?) have tough times getting just one Japanese girlfriend.
BUT these ladies end up so easily in porn industry.
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Hang on there Skippy, you have serious problem here. Those girls knocking you back aren't leading a second life as porn stars. They are not the same people. Stop thinking of "Japanese" and start thinking about "women".
 
Solong said:
In PRIVATE or SECRET, many can do some very sexually wild acts, however it still depends on the woman.

Japanese women are often more worried about their public image, being known as a slut, and being publicly embarrassed or humiliated.
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This is true. One of the JP GFs I've had was perfectly fine with paying her way when we were on dates, but she wanted me to pay at the restaurant, and she'd pay me her half afterwards. A little strange, but makes perfect sense in some ways.

Japanese porn companies often have EXTREME CONTROL over the women that work for them. It's often not the same as in Western countries.
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I've heard it's the exact opposite, actually. That JP porn stars have at least nominally full control. They sign a contract, but the contract isn't really worth anything, because legally you can't enforce a contract requiring someone to fuck. Girls can, and do, walk away at any time.

The Japanese porn companies do such things as:

1. Transfer her to far away locations to work.

If she is from Osaka, send her to Tokyo, and away from any family or friends that might interfere with her indoctrination.

2. EXPLOIT any FINANCIAL weakness

A) Loan her money, so she is in DEBT and must pay it back

B) Pay her RENT and register the apartment under the company's name, so she is in FEAR of being homeless if fired.

3. Do an INDOCTRINATION into the company.

This is along the lines of mentally programming her and new employee bootcamps.

All of this is to push the Japanese women to be LOYAL to their company or do anything for their company.

4. Allow her to ONLY have sex or date with COMPANY employees or men CHOSEN for her.

5. Particularly for newer and younger Japanese women, may have CHAPERONES that follow them around or set CURFEWS of when they must be in their apartment.
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Several of these things are frankly normal for ANYONE working at ANY Japanese company. One of my JP GFs lived in housing subsidized by her boss. Lots of people live in company barracks, are required to attend 'team building' meetings/seminars, etc, that are basically indoctrination into the company way, etc. That's Japan, not just Japanese porn.

Yes, every girl under contract has a manager who is responsible for her schedule, setting up gigs for her, probably setting up fuck-dates, etc. I seriously doubt that they loan them a bunch of money to get into debt... I would wager the vast majority of women that get into porn and/or sex for money do so because they are ALREADY in debt. They might get further into debt, and have to do the thing to get out of it I suppose.

I've had some pals that did porn and I've hooked up a number times with female porn stars. It was entirely by luck and chance. They all explained to me how the system often works.
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That's great. We'd love to hear some stories of who you met, how you met them, and how people might get to meet them, too.

In terms of meeting Japanese girls in general (responding to the rest of the thread)- it usually takes a bit of effort and personality. Most young, stylish Japanese women aren't going to fuck a foreign guy for fun unless the guy is really attractive/suave/rich. It's just not going to happen otherwise, and I don't think anyone has said otherwise.

However, I'm no prize physically, and I tend to be pretty shy, and I had no problems chatting up attractive Japanese women at bars and getting their FB info, and had no problems getting dates from JapanCupid, and have had a few long term relationships with what I consider to be never-married, no kids attractive JP women in their mid-30s. And I have fairly high standards. The women weren't drop dead gorgeous, but they are petite, cute faces, great personalities, and have absolutely no problems putting out in the bedroom.

But if you are looking for a Yua Aida to take home on a one-night stand every saturday night, dream on.
 
Lorddisick said:
Actually they do.
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You've attempted and failed to get a date with a porn star? Please do share the details!

I wouldn't know a Japanese porn star from an idol or any other talent, except by the size of her implants perhaps... Still, meeting one you know is a adult actress must be an interesting story.

I don't know any porn stars sadly, but would tend to think they get enough money and sex and probably aren't interested in being picked up by some random guy. Not to mention they probably have contractual obligations as far as STDs, being seen in public, etc go.
 
No, I don't really want to go in details. Sorry. I admit, I love reading details from others (and I thank them for sharing), but I don't like too much talking about mine. Sorry. :(
I'm just ""glad"" it did happen so I can use it as an argument.
If it didn't happen, I wouldn't be able to prove it (but I would still believe it).

Not all Japanese girls have a double life of course, but when you see the monstrous AV world in Japan and their girls looking like "Ms. everybody"/"the-girl-next-door", I can't help but thinking like this.
 
Lorddisick said:
No, I don't really want to go in details. Sorry. I admit, I love reading details from others (and I thank them for sharing), but I don't like too much talking about mine. Sorry. :(
I'm just ""glad"" it did happen so I can use it as an argument.
If it didn't happen, I wouldn't be able to prove it (but I would still believe it).

Not all Japanese girls have a double life of course, but when you see the monstrous AV world in Japan and their girls looking like "Ms. everybody"/"the-girl-next-door", I can't help but thinking like this.
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LOL, well arguments without the slightest hint of evidence are utterly worthless and no reasonable person will pay them much attention.

Still, you might consider not placing women, Japanese or otherwise, on quite such a high pedestal. People have all sort of motivations and what they look like physically has little to do with it. You might think some Japanese girl is so cute and innocent when in reality she's a member of several dating clubs, buying those brand name bags and shoes with money she earned screwing a different guy every day.
 
drewz said:
LOL, well arguments without the slightest hint of evidence are utterly worthless and no reasonable person will pay them much attention.
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Whatever is said on the internet anyway is rarely proven (especially about relationships & women).
You don't need to believe me. I have nothing to gain by lying. I could have make up shitty stories about that but I don't want to, meaningless.
 
Just my 2 cents.

Some may disagree with what I'm going to say. Also, I'm not suggesting that anyone on here is the same as me so I hope no-one takes offence.

In my own country I have absolutely no luck with women. I'm average looking, have a low paid job and it would seem that for whatever reason girls just don't see me as relationship material. The occasional dates I get usually turn out to be women with bad attitudes who are using me for something (not sex though!).

So imagine my surprise when girls in Japan like me! As has been noted already there is partly the false perception gained by the fact that many Japanese girls, even the really pretty ones, are really friendly to foreigners. I'm sure many of you have been surprised by super cute girls starting a conversation or asking for a photo. But also I have actually met girls through Metropolis and had great dates that ended in something. I only holiday in Japan so I don't get to find out if it would go anywhere further than a few dates, and possibly it wouldn't, but what I'm getting at is that it's still way, way better than what I get back home. I still don't know why it works that way. Maybe I'm more attractive to them? Or maybe my personality just matches what they like in guys better that what Western girls like in guys?

Perhaps this kind of thing helps to fuel the statements about Japan being a paradise for foreign guys. I'm sure there are quite a few guys like me who struggle in their own countries but get attention in Japan. And from a personal perspective that makes it so easy to believe that getting girls is easy there.
 
JustSomeGuy said:
(snip)
Perhaps this kind of thing helps to fuel the statements about Japan being a paradise for foreign guys. I'm sure there are quite a few guys like me who struggle in their own countries but get attention in Japan. And from a personal perspective that makes it so easy to believe that getting girls is easy there.
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Yes, there are Japanese girls who do like foreigners (and keep in mind that "foreigners" in Japan by and large means well-educated, well-behaved Westerners who are either expats or at least English teachers.... completely different from the concept of "foreigners" that Westerners have in their own countries).
The percentage of foreigners in Japan is still very small, so that small segment of Japanese women who specifically like them will appear to be quite large to you.

But to generalize from that to "Japanese women" in general is wrong. I have been living here for a long time, have had plenty of chance to talk to the natives, and I am confident the majority of women do not consider a foreigner as marriage or boyfriend material. A trip to a love hotel for research purpose... maybe. That is a different topic.

But the group that does is still very large in relation to the small number of gaijins here, so yes, I don´t dispute your personal experience. And the ones who are not interested in you will not seek you out and will turn you down politely if you after them. So, you won´t register them.

But it is a numbers game, imho. So go easy on the generalizations.
 
If the majority of Japanese woman were to be targeting foreigners, TAG wouldn't exist I believe. When you go to Metropolis ads, its like 500 men looking for woman and only 25 woman seeking afro-americans and half of those ads are fake spam bots. Still, kuddos for those who have good luck.
 
Zaphod222 said:
Yes, there are Japanese girls who do like foreigners (and keep in mind that "foreigners" in Japan by and large means well-educated, well-behaved Westerners who are either expats or at least English teachers.... completely different from the concept of "foreigners" that Westerners have in their own countries).
The percentage of foreigners in Japan is still very small, so that small segment of Japanese women who specifically like them will appear to be quite large to you.

But to generalize from that to "Japanese women" in general is wrong. I have been living here for a long time, have had plenty of chance to talk to the natives, and I am confident the majority of women do not consider a foreigner as marriage or boyfriend material. A trip to a love hotel for research purpose... maybe. That is a different topic.

But the group that does is still very large in relation to the small number of gaijins here, so yes, I don´t dispute your personal experience. And the ones who are not interested in you will not seek you out and will turn you down politely if you after them. So, you won´t register them.

But it is a numbers game, imho. So go easy on the generalizations.
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I hope you didn't think I was generalizing. That wasn't what I meant at all. I was just trying to say that I could see how others might get a false impression from a few good experiences and then think that all of Japan was the same.
 
JustSomeGuy said:
I hope you didn't think I was generalizing. That wasn't what I meant at all. I was just trying to say that I could see how others might get a false impression from a few good experiences and then think that all of Japan was the same.
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If that is what you said, I agree 100%. Just yesterday I was drinking with a Japanese female friend (absuletely just that; we are doing sports together, and she knows I think she is cute, but she made absolutely clear that a gaijin relationship is out of the question for her.) She also said that applies for most her friends. She really talks straight with me, no tatemae, so that is quite interesting.
Still, the pond is so big, and we are so few piranhas, that there is plenty of fish for each of us :)
 
AverageJohn said:
I have been reading this forum among a few others for guidance in the dating scene in Tokyo for months and I keep seeing people repeat how gaijin don't have a hard time finding available j girls for dating. Seen a lot women posting about how harder it is for western women than men.

I've been here for months and haven't had the least amount of luck meeting women than I have anywhere else in the world. I've been to Roppongi, Shibuya, the bars, the clubs, the malls, coffee shops, business circles, friends of friends. This place is a desert, like I've never seen in all my life anywhere. After reading about the country's birthing situation I am not the least bit surprised with how disinterested people seem to be with one another.

Sorry for the rant but after many months of being patience and carefully studying and searching I had to rant.
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Good post bro :D

Yap, agree with you completely. Most gaijins in Japan manage to convince themselves that they are more sexually attractive than the locals. They can point to the tons of mixed couples you see everywhere you go, and genuinely beleive that Japanese womens prefer foreigners. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Of course, there are some girls that prefer foriegners, but I find they the last ones you would want to enter a relatioinship with. Aggressive, bossy control freaks. Or plain ugly bitches who have given up hope of ever finding a J-hubbie so try the rest of the world.

If you ask other guys where they met their GFs or wives, you find it was through work, especially if the guy is an Englsih teacher. A lotta guys meet their J-wife in their home country where she is studying English. The guys I know who met girls in bars never stayed with them very long, or vice versa.

You can waste one helluva lotta time hanging in bars and clubs in Roppongi and Shibuya. The competition from other guys is immense. A lot of girls already have J-BFs and just go there to dance and the standard of dancing here is world class (I took hip hop classes - good place to meet women actually).

In general, communication between people in Japan is very bad, even within families and circles of friends.

You really need to speak Japanese to a good level to meet a girl who might end up as soul-mate or whatever you are looking for. If its just sex, dont give up on the mongering options
 
I'm so glad I've decided not to pursue a serious relationship. P4p seems like the most satisfying option in the end, given how few Japanese women want to date foreigners.
 
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I have come to the same conclusion as AKB69… While some might like the chase with Metropolis, the bars or whatever, it is so hit and miss and there is a lot of stuffing around. While P4P may also disappoint, the potential for drama is low and in the long run the cost about the same.
 
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fireman said:
Roppongi at 12:30 am is a turkey shoot. Maybe you aren't staying out long enough?
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I'm luvin it!

About 5 years ago, I was in Gaspanic with a Japanese buddy. An Englsih teacher from Canada got talking to him and was boasting how popular he was with Japanese women. To back up his claims, he pulled out his cellfon and showed an impressive contact list of about 30 girls' names. My buddy, who is not in the least sarky, just asked the str8forward question "Why aren't you out with one of them tonite then?" I pissed myself laughing it was a classic.

The logistics of trying to pull in Roppongi dont make sense. Lets imagine you meet a girl at 12:30. Chances are that she is with a friend(s) and is there till the first train. Is she going to abandon her friend and go off with a dude she just met? Assuming that unlikely scenario was to take place, where are you going to take her to do the job? As far as I know, the nearest (or affordable) love hotels are in Shibuya. At that time of nite and at a weekend, they mite all be full. So you decide to take her home to your apartment. If you happen to live in Hiroo or somewhere nearby, you are a very fortun8 man. Most people would easily drop 10,000 on taxi fare. So you take her into the mens toilet, of which there is only one in most bars. While you are in there trying to get the job done in an uncomfortable position, a big pissed up black guy from Yokosuka is waiting to take a leak and getting very annoyed and starts hammering on the door. By the time you get out, you have a very good chance of getting ur ass kicked, in fact, I have seen it happen. So you wait until the first train, buying the girl and her friend expensive drinks all nite to ensure she dont piss off with someone else. By the time the first train is due, you feel shite from no sleep and too much drinking. You take her back by train to your apartment which is miles away from where she lives. She falls asleep on your sofa. Blah blah blah nuff said!!
 
Where's the romance???!!! Been here over 30 years and always avoided Roppongi like the plague. That just about tells me I made the right decision. I had mates who were bankers with big apartments and that combination seemed to work best, as they would often tell me. The poor struggling English teacher who live in Warabi had little chance (that was not me BTW). Jeez, the men's toilet? People did that???
 
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If you are looking for a LH in Roppongi, HOTEL ROPPONGI (http://www.sunnypages.jp/travel_guide/modern_tokyo/love_hotels/Hotel Roppongi/2316) is quite serviceable, nothing spectacular but convenient and nothing to complain about either.

But a better idea is to cough up the dough for a late night taxi ride back to your place, which is likely to be well under a ma'en if you live anywhere inside the Yamanote Line, btw...under 5000 for many areas. If you can't afford that much to make a strong and enthusiastic first impression on the babe of your desires, you are going to have a tough time enjoying Tokyo nightlife however you play it, imo.

Another good tactic these days is to forget about getting a girl in bed on a night you are fishing (allowing yourself to go for it if you just happen to hit it lucky, of course). Instead just concentrate on meeting a good number of candidates, collecting contact info (LINE contacts/IDs, FB info etc are a lot easier to obtain than phone numbers and much less likely to be faked) and giving your own out and being sure to make a strong and positive impression in some way before moving on...else she won't remember you when you get in touch and won't remember to take the initiative of contacting you herself if you don't have her info. Most of these leads won't pay off of course, but you only need one win to make it a night well spent, right? It also gets you around a lot of the obstacles, like separating her from her friends, having to pick only one or two ladies to pursue out of a target rich environment etc.

I think you guys aren't trying hard enough. Think a little. Take a bit of initiative and a few risks. It ain't suppose to be easy. If it were easy, everybody would do it! ( With apologies to Jimmy Dugan.)

-Ww
 
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Wwanderer said:
If you are looking for a LH in Roppongi, HOTEL ROPPONGI (http://www.sunnypages.jp/travel_guide/modern_tokyo/love_hotels/Hotel Roppongi/2316) is quite serviceable, nothing spectacular but convenient and nothing to complain about either.

But a better idea is to cough up the dough for a late night taxi ride back to your place, which is likely to be well under a ma'en if you live anywhere inside the Yamanote Line, btw...under 5000 for many areas. If you can't afford that much to make a strong and enthusiastic first impression on the babe of your desires, you are going to have a tough time enjoying Tokyo nightlife however you play it, imo.

Another good tactic these days is to forget about getting a girl in bed on a night you are fishing (allowing yourself to go for it if you just happen to hit it lucky, of course). Instead just concentrate on meeting a good number of candidates, collecting contact info (LINE contacts/IDs, FB info etc are a lot easier to obtain than phone numbers and much less likely to be faked) and giving your own out and being sure to make a strong and positive impression in some way before moving on...else she won't remember her when you get in touch and won't remember to take the initiative of contacting you herself if you don't have her info. Most of these leads won't pay off of course, but you only need one win to make it a night well spent, right? It also gets you around a lot of the obstacles, like separating her from her friends, having to pick only one or two ladies to pursue out of a target rich environment etc.

I think you guys aren't trying hard enough. Think a little. Take a bit of initiative and a few risks. It ain't suppose to be easy. If it were easy, everybody would do it! ( With apologies to Jimmy Dugan.)

-Ww
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Yap, good advice bro (y)

I been going to Roppongi for around 20 years. As another poster said here, its been going downhill slowly but steadily. One reason might be the African touts, they scare the bejesus out of some people, reports in the international press about drink spiking and robbery dont go down well. Another is that there are alternative places to go now for clubs and bars, like Shibuya. A lot of the good pick-up joints have disappeare, such as Hideout and Bar Isnt It, Motown 2 and Trading Places, and have not been replaced.

Gaspanic still has the Happy Hour until 10 PM. You would think it would get busy then but it rarely does. Most of the gaijins I see there are that time are tourists. A buddy of mine worked as a waiter at Gaspanic (the one near Don Quixote up the escalator) and he met his wife there. He said the best time to be there was the period between end of happy hour and last train home around midnite.

Another banker buddy, let's call him Mark (real name Mark hehehe) was over on business from Hong Kong and met his wife in a Roppongi bar when he was totally ratassed. She was too apparently. He can't even remember the name of the bar which kinda indic8s what a romantic dude he is. Anyway he took her to HK where they got married, and discovered they had nothing in common. She started complaining that he always came home drunk from after-work socialising with colleagues, and his defence was that he was ratassed when they met so what did she expect. I guess the point I'm trying to make is ..... do you really want to have a relationship with a girl you meet in Roppongi? Most of them aren't very nice or interesting individuals. But each to his own I guess.

Roppongi is a cheap nite out if you do till Gaspanic till 10 then move on down the road to the other places. Sometimes the Nigerians have cheap drink tickets 500 yen to get you inside, Vibration bar is one of them. I dont go there with any expectations so never get disappointed and usually have a fun time even if I dont get to exercise the johnson. On the occasions I have missed the last train, like when the last World Cup was on and I wanted to watch live games on TV, I rarely made it through to first train but went up to the manga cafe in Roi Building and got the 1500 yen 6 hour nite pack to crash there till daylite.
 
Sounds like a total waste. No way would I put that effort into a bar skank. Ill meet a "good girl" with day game, or will stick with elites. No way am I going to throw away 30,000 when I could get an actual pro for close to that.
 
Also, these hos act entitled because of all these thirsty guys running around. My time and thoughts have value. I am not going to waste it chasing ratchet women- better to pay than deal with a trick.
 
GoldenDalton said:
I'm so glad I've decided not to pursue a serious relationship. P4p seems like the most satisfying option in the end, given how few Japanese women want to date foreigners.
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That's not true. Plenty of Japanese will date foreigners.

The problem is often foreigners are not in Japan long enough to learn how to talk (learn some Japanese too) and interact successfully with Japanese or they are too afraid of rejection.

There is 100+ Japanese to every 1 foreigner. The odds are on the side of foreigners that realize this.

In the reverse, many Japanese are overly self-conscious about their English ability. If they think that they can't speak "perfectly", then many will never try. This is silliness on the part of many Japanese. In addition, many Japanese exhibit a kind of laziness or fear, of exploring outside their small bubble. So foreigners have to usually make the first move.

Many foreigners are afraid of make the first moves, have too much pride in the wrong way, or are too timid in general. Consequently, they lose out on all the oppourtunies.
 
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