Keijiban (japanese Contact Sites)

Zaphod is misrepresenting my position and advice. I wouldn't respond, but he is directly addressing and attacking me. I'm trying to stay away from this thread, so please do stop pulling me in with attacks.

And some of my responses were to direct questions being asked to me. I was showing how free dates could be arranged weeks and months in advance. I was also making the argument of how to keep prices low/pay less.

You can meet for a CONVERSATION. On the pen-pal, classified ads, date site, or any free site. Your ad can be completely "normal" OR suggestive. This is up to you.

The KEY is to MEET the woman and talk to her. It is when you talk to her, that you can truly find out what she is about. The more experience you gain, the easier it is to figure the e-mails, websites, and women out.

50% or so of the Japanese women will be open for a sexual encounter. Japanese have "honne and tatemae". Many Japanese women, not just guys, use pen-pal and language exchange to find boyfriends or sex-friends. Deception can be coming from the women looking for NSA sex, not necessarily the guy.

Sex can also come about kind of naturally. Where you have high levels of compatibility and the chemistry become obvious the 1st meeting or after the 2nd meeting.

And you CAN just tutor her in English OR learn Japanese from her. You can do language, friendship, or sex. It's up to the people involved.

This will be clear by what SHE says and how she acts, when you meet her. It also depends on the skill level of the guy in understanding Japanese women and body language.

I also listed other sites like POF, OKCupid, JapanCupid, Craigslist, Metropolis Classified, Letsdating.jp, Happymail... None of those sites have anything to do with pen-pals. Those are DATE sites.

On those sites, my suggestion is to exchange personal e-mail/LINE/phone and then MEET the woman. In the conversation you have with her, you can decide if you go the free OR paid route. Sometimes it can be obvious before you meet, but actually talking directly is often better.

Sugar babies and amateurs wanting paid compensation lurk on all the free sites, pen-pal, or otherwise. I simply mentioned this, as this expands your list of potential sites.

If a guy doesn't want to gamble on free and doesn't have a tolerance for female games, then paying can be better. I simply made a suggestion on what's possible.

I'm also in agreement that if you go the paid route that it can be better (still a depends type of thing) to cut out any middle men and negotiate with the women directly.
 
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Roshar said:
You can think about it in that case for monetary compensation, but that's a varied perspective. You of course are right in your own regard, and that's an opinion for everyone to decide for themselves, but for me, I feel that the introduction of money introduces a new theme into the relationship. One where now it's much less focused on the act itself, and rather becomes more of a bartering and legitimate trading situation
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...but it is anyway. There is no such thing as "free sex". Even in boyfriend/girlfriend sitution you still pay in terms of time, emotion, and assorted expenses. This idea of completely NSA, baggage-free, recreational sex is a male pipe dream. Unless you are lucky enough to meet a genuine nymphomaniac. From the girls perspective, there is always something in it for her. And typically, if you troll penpal/dating sites, representing yourself as a single, available guy, that is the boyfriend/marriage perspective. Or in Japan sometime something as pedestrian as free English lessons.
If you are honest and say all you want is free sex, period, and you still get hits.... more power to you!

Roshar said:
Shortly put, my thought is "Why should I pay people who I want to actually meet and act more intimately with, if I just wanted a one time thing
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Because that is the way the world works. Male sexuality is different from female sexuality. We basically want to hump everything that is attractive and alive. Women don´t. There is no biological incentive for them to be like men.

Roshar said:
Though I guess I may be slightly biased. I got blindsided in my first outing with one of them, where she introduced herself as thin on the website, she was actually a pretty big girl.
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Sorry about your bad experience. You clearly run into a bad one there, and there clearly were some mixed signals. This sort of thing has never happened to me in Japan; not to say that it could not.
 
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Zaphod222 said:
You need to get a feeling for who are you dealing with, of course. In my case, all my "papa boushou" experiences have been very positive. But of course, I do not respond to those who come straight back with a "where can we meet?" instead of first checking me out. Those go in the garbage dump right away..
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That's a good point. I might need more suggestions on this sort of criterion where I lack the most.
A checklist or something like that would help me and others a lot.
 
That's a good point. I might need more suggestions on this sort of criterion where I lack the most.
A checklist or something like that would help me and others a lot.
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I am not sure if you can work this sort of thing like a software program, line by line. A bit of natural human instinct is necessary. But of course there are a number of typical items that one could list.

By the way, my favourite Keijiban girl just wrote back... she did not dump me, she is in hospital with an injury. I am delighted! (Well, not about her accident, of course.)
 
Zaphod222 said:
This idea of completely NSA, baggage-free, recreational sex is a male pipe dream.
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Fwiiw, I disagree, based both on personal experience and personal observations. I agree that it is far more often imagined than it is realized, but saying that it is purely a "dream" is exaggeration.

Male sexuality is different from female sexuality. We basically want to hump everything that is attractive and alive. Women don´t. There is no biological incentive for them to be like men.
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Likewise, while there is much truth in this observations, there are also exceptions...as there are to almost any generalization about people's behavior.

-Ww
 
Zaphod222 said:
By the way, my favourite Keijiban girl just wrote back... she did not dump me, she is in hospital with an injury. I am delighted! (Well, not about her accident, of course.)
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That's great news. No, I'm so sad to hear that, but it's excellent news. No that's terrible, I hope she'll be on her back again soon ...

I'm so conflicted. :)
 
Wwanderer said:
Likewise, while there is much truth in this observations, there are also exceptions...as there are to almost any generalization about people's behavior.
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There are always "exceptions". That does not make a simple biological statement untrue.
 
Zaphod222 said:
There are always "exceptions". That does not make a simple biological statement untrue.
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It is hardly worth debating the point which is barely more than semantic, but fwiiw, in terms of conventional logical and philosophical standards, exceptions do render blanket generalizations untrue. (I do realize that this is a net forum, not an academic debating society, in case you are wondering!)

Congrats on recovering your fave Keijiban girl and best wishes for her recovery too.

-Ww
 
Wwanderer said:
Fwiiw, I disagree, based both on personal experience and personal observations. I agree that it is far more often imagined than it is realized, but saying that it is purely a "dream" is exaggeration.

Likewise, while there is much truth in this observations, there are also exceptions...as there are to almost any generalization about people's behavior.

-Ww
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At Ww... couldn't resist...

Women do NSA and cheat all the time. And you can see rampant female promiscuity in lots of different species of mammals. Monkeys, baboons, lions, etc... It's a mistake for men to think women are unsexual beings only after money or to be taken care of.

All sex isn't based on an exchange for cash or housing. Women may often take advantage of men, marry up, or are looking to get something extra out of it, but they can also simply enjoy sex too. And, women are often flooded with so much penis and options, that they can do "both".

They can be married to a guy with money, then cheat behind his back by having sex with "cute" guys or "bad" boys. 15% of children born, are not from the father registered on the birth certificate. They can date 1 guy who is "marriage" material, and have 1 night stands for sexual gratification with other guys. They can play 2 different guys at the same time or have serial relationships with different types of guys. Changing from moods and periods of sexual promiscuity, to having 1 serious marriage prospect boyfriend. Women have a lot of variation in their sexuality.

There are a lot of options for guys to have free or paid sex with women. Just depends on "know how" and preference. The Internet allows women to easily obtain more sex than ever before. Especially in the cities. Like the woman in my profile picture and she paid for the hotel...
 
Solong said:
At Ww... couldn't resist...

Women do NSA and cheat all the time. And you can see rampant female promiscuity in lots of different species of mammals...
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As far as I can tell, you are agreeing with me, but I am not sure that you intended to do so. In any case, I agree with your post. It is consistent with my experiences (especially when I was much younger).

-Ww
 
Wwanderer said:
As far as I can tell, you are agreeing with me, but I am not sure that you intended to do so. In any case, I agree with your post. It is consistent with my experiences (especially when I was much younger).
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Nobody said that female sex drive does not exist. But it is fundamentally different from the male one. Estrogen works differently in the body than testosterone. When is the last time you got paid for sex? When is the last time you posted a link a to deli health shop delivering young nubile men for women? Do you think YOU have the option of working as a gigolo? Not that they don´t exist, but how many Richard Geres are are the in real life?

And just to set the biological ground rules here; how do you make sure your DNA stays in the gene pool? By a) impregnating as many specimen of the opposite sex as possible, or by b) getting pregnant and having a partner around to protect the offspring? And what is your time frame to produce that offspring? And now consider what gender you are likely to be.

Frankly, I feel it is bit silly having to point out all this...
 
Zaphod222 said:
Nobody said that female sex drive does not exist. But it is fundamentally different from the male one. Estrogen works differently in the body than testosterone. When is the last time you got paid for sex? When is the last time you posted a link a to deli health shop delivering young nubile men for women? Do you think YOU have the option of working as a gigolo? Not that they don´t exist, but how many Richard Geres are are the in real life?

And just to set the biological ground rules here; how do you make sure your DNA stays in the gene pool? By a) impregnating as many specimen of the opposite sex as possible, or by b) getting pregnant and having a partner around to protect the offspring? And what is your time frame to produce that offspring? And now consider what gender you are likely to be.

Frankly, I feel it is bit silly having to point out all this...
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All you say is true of course, but you are pointing at our basic biological natures/instincts, dictated by evolutionary selection. No argument on any of it.

However, I am trying to make the additional point that not only are there exceptions to these "rules" but indeed our species is VERY good at intentionally overriding its instincts/nature and adapting its behavior to other purposes. There are always some stresses and problems in doing so, but we do it constantly and pervasively in many contexts. We have developed many mechanisms, culture and "civilization" among them, to aid us in overcoming our simple animal instincts. A city such as Tokyo, among many many other things, could not even exist otherwise. In other words, if you stick to "the biological ground rules", you are going to fall far short of understanding and embracing the full range/potential of human sexuality...though they may be an excellent place to start.

-Ww
 
I'm certainly glad to see a lively debate, however I'd like to ask those that are participating to be mindful that everyone has their own opinion and views. As such in this case, when the discourse is 'heated' -- please remember to step back and consider what you're posting before hitting the "Post Reply" button.

If participating in or reading this thread bothers you, then please don't come back to it.

We have operated a fairly free and open moderation system and now is not the time to start any heavy-handed actions. I'd appreciate your cooperation going forward to keep things lively and yet considerate.

Reality: We can take a jab at each other and still be respectful, sometimes you have to have a little thicker skin and know when to just leave it alone.

Thank you.
 
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Fwiw, there is a married Japanese woman on a keijiban asking for a date in Shibuya tonight. She is 23 and says good-looking. She is asking for 40k. This is a bit too hurried and expensive for me, but if someone wants to play in a hurry and is curious...
 
Zaphod222 said:
Fwiw, there is a married Japanese woman on a keijiban asking for a date in Shibuya tonight. She is 23 and says good-looking. She is asking for 40k. This is a bit too hurried and expensive for me, but if someone wants to play in a hurry and is curious...
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So, let me see if I have this right. You can just use these sites for one date or so? Say i was going to be in the country for a week and a half. That limited amount of time would still work.

I know you said earlier you have to have strong Japanese to pursue this route. That leaves me out for now, though I am applying myself to learning.
 
GoldenDalton said:
So, let me see if I have this right. You can just use these sites for one date or so? Say i was going to be in the country for a week and a half. That limited amount of time would still work.

I know you said earlier you have to have strong Japanese to pursue this route. That leaves me out for now, though I am applying myself to learning.
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The sites I am talking about are free bulletin boards, with no requirements to register, no message limit, no "points" to buy, and no middle man messing around.

You need enough Japanese to navigate and to read them. Maybe Google Translate can get you there, but it will be exhausting. After that, you can write private mails in English, if you want... of course your mileage varies. English only will reduce your chances a lot.

In the event, I got talking to the one I referred to here, she is actually quite interesting, and I meet her tomorrow.
 
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aquos said:
And this is off bakusai??
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Yes. Meeting her today. We got to talk (she is quite chatty and intelligent), and we agreed on 30k, which is in my budget range. Of course no calls to the home-planet and no ticking clock, which is always an (unavoidable) turnoff for me with agencies.
 
There are a lot of options for guys to have free or paid sex with women. Just depends on "know how" and preference. The Internet allows women to easily obtain more sex than ever before. Especially in the cities. Like the woman in my profile picture and she paid for the hotel...
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Hi Solon,

Thank you for the nice discussion. You may be quite handsome and charismatic to the girls otherwise I am not sure, when Japanese women would pay.

Thank you for your informative posts.
 
shinjin said:
Hi Solon,

Thank you for the nice discussion. You may be quite handsome and charismatic to the girls otherwise I am not sure, when Japanese women would pay.

Thank you for your informative posts.
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I think the particular poster who you are replying to is "special". I would suggest to ignore him.
 
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Zaphod222 said:
I think the particular poster who you are replying to is "special". I would suggest to ignore him.
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I suggest that you stop taking pot shots. I left your thread alone and admin told you how to ignore users you have an issue with.
 
shinjin said:
Hi Solon,

Thank you for the nice discussion. You may be quite handsome and charismatic to the girls otherwise I am not sure, when Japanese women would pay.

Thank you for your informative posts.
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Paying for sex is an option, not a requirement.

I don't consider myself handsome, just average, but I do reserve the right to be considered charismatic to various women.

Women have sex for "free" all the time and many women will not do paid sex, at least not directly, because they don't want to be seen in that way or don't want to earn their living like that.

Women get horny, just like men do. The trick, for men, is better understanding on how to find and seduce those women that are willing or want to have sex.

Which goes back to gambling or seeking a guarantee. If you go the free route, you must take chances. Talk to 30 women to go out on a date, odds are you will find 1 to 5 (depending on your skill) that will have sex with you. That includes women that will pay you or pay half the cost of the date.

To hit a homerun, you must be willing to step up to the plate and be willing to strikeout.

If you want guaranteed sex at a set day and time, with minimum effort, then you should pay.

Which route to choose, is up to the individual. Each way has pluses and minuses.
 
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Zaphod222 said:
Well, what do you know. Got another answer from the message board.... that is 2 answers for 3 replies. Not bad a ratio at all. At this pace, I´ll be set up with a cute sex friend soon.

This one is 20 yrs, 158 cm and "D cup"... don´t know what to make of that, but I assume a little on the voluptoous side. So probably not quite my type. Also, I don´t really need them that young, personally I would prefer around 30 and more mature. But who is to complain. Anyway, she wants to get invited for a dinner first to talk things over. That is fine with me, I like that actually. In the worst case, I get a Japanese lesson out of it.

Anyway, the keijiban scene is clearly alive and well, even if my old favourite sites are gone.
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Can you please post the website link again.
Help appreciated, please.
 
couldnt navigate well on bakusai.
any more sites u can refer?
or could you help me navigate to the papa boshu section.
after clicking kanto i couldnt find the rest.
was it all on the left side bar??
 
Interesting thread, thanks, but I have to say the OP sounds like an arrogant tool.....
 
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