Who Pays For Social Time with Women?

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Wwanderer said:
Possibly because they want/need to believe the bedroom flattery much more than the barroom flattery, the former being about their sexual appeal or skill while the latter is often about something less personal and more superficial.
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What does it say about me that the flattery I find most intolerable is when some girls ooh and aah on my every made pool shot?

And yes, loser that I am, I pay attractive 22 yo girls to play pool with me.
 
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warubuta said:
The OP is just saying that he thinks paying for social time is stupid, lame, or otherwise shitty. He is saying so in the form of a question. Of course he knows that some men do this because they want to simply talk to women and they can’t do it without paying for it. He gets it. He is just making a statement. Interestingly, @synapse1993 migjt ask why some people pay for sex.
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Good analysis.

You'd be surprised how many people are suffering from depression, social anxiety, loneliness, are physically disabled (wheelchair bound), estranged from family and friends and the list goes on. These are usually the people who pay for such service.

Back in the day I told one of my first japanese girlfriends I wanted to become a host. Half joking. Half serious. Long story short: she ended up telling me she was an "online hostess" in the past or camgirl if you may. Even though she didn't perform any sexual favors or showed any nudity people would watch her study for her nursing license and gave her donations just for a chat. She was very open about everything and every client. Most of her clients had either a mental problem or physical problem (skin condition, wheelchair bound etc) and at one point I stopped asking questions because it was all very depressing.

Japanese society can be very cruel: you either fit in or you don't. And at the end of the day we all want to be emotionally fulfilled, loved and accepted. So those who don't fit in seek alternatives (compensated dating, hostess bars, p4p etc.)
 
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akasam said:
And yes, loser that I am, I pay attractive 22 yo girls to play pool with me.
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I think and hope that you are not being serious in calling yourself a loser above. If @warubuta is correct in this post

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/who-pays-for-social-time-with-women.20138/#post-191169

the thread is just one of those deals where someone puts other people down to make themselves look better or feel better about themselves. It is your money, your time, your entertainment/enjoyment, your business, your concern only... Why would anyone else care?

Unless of course @warubuta is wrong, and the OP is actually curious about why guys pay for social time with hot women. In that case you and others have thoroughly answered the question.

Imo @TAG Manager is correct; threads like this one generate a lot more heat than light.

-Ww
 
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Okay to add my two cents.

I think social time is a good idea, but I would only do social time under a few conditions.

1) I have already been with said provider already (not in social time)
2) I had a good connection with them and conversation which wanted me to know more about them or enjoy other activities with them

I have seen a few guys on here doing social time with providers and having a GREAT time with them because they had that connection. It allows for a GFE, without the hassle of well...you know. You actually want to hangout with them, have them take you to that place they mentioned, so on and so forth. The only issue is well, feelings. Some might consider it the wrong way and think that there is a legitimate connection there when there is not one. You have to realize there is not one, or at least probably (I have to state that some can correct me). In this capacity, you're basically taking them up on that coffee, or taking them on that date to well, a ball, club, festival, amusement park, etc...
 
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MossBoss said:
OK. ‘Social time’ makes sense for scoping out a potential escort before dropping a small fortune.

Although saying this, it might be a better option just booking the shortest ‘play’ time instead. If social time is 20,000 yen for two hours. And one hour of sex is 30,000 yen. The 30,000 yen option is still better value.
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And that's the dilemma that many people look at when considering whether or not to use this option.

Why should I pay 20,000 for two hours no sex involved when I can pay 10,000 more for an hour with sex involved? In this regard, I can see the apprehensiveness of many people not wanting to choose this option, but bare in mind, some people just want that regular connection with someone in a non-physical way. Hell, look at the male hosting industry here in Japan. Most women go to these host clubs purely for wanting that intimate connection and nothing else, while yes some will go all the way, the fact remains, some just want to sit down and talk, hug and feel wanted and don't want anything more than just that.
 
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If I am too fat, or too old, or too ugly to bed the young and beautiful ladies, I am ok with paying for it. My fragile ego takes a bit of a hit, but not so much. I could lose some weight. My ugliness and age are inevitable, so I don’t really take it to heart. It can’t be helped. But as far as paying someone just to talk to me, I can’t get myself to that place and I don’t see how others do. I should always be interesting and engaging enough for someone to want to talk to me. Otherwise I am a loser, by my own judgement. And more importantly, I just can’t enjoy ‘socializing’ with someone if I know they are doing it for money. I can fuck someone even if they are just doing it for money, but I can’t enjoy a conversation if my partner is not also enjoying it enough to be doing it for free. I know a lot of guys feel the same way about sex. Paid sex just doesn’t work for them. Maybe when these guys are as old and fat and and ugly as me, they will have a change of mind.
 
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warubuta said:
If I am too fat, or too old, or too ugly to bed the young and beautiful ladies, I am ok with paying for it. My fragile ego takes a bit of a hit, but not so much. I could lose some weight. My ugliness and age are inevitable, so I don’t really take it to heart. It can’t be helped. But as far as paying someone just to talk to me, I can’t get myself to that place and I don’t see how others do. I should always be interesting and engaging enough for someone to want to talk to me. Otherwise I am a loser, by my own judgement. And more importantly, I just can’t enjoy ‘socializing’ with someone if I know they are doing it for money. I can fuck someone even if they are just doing it for money, but I can’t enjoy a conversation if my partner is not also enjoying it enough to be doing it for free. I know a lot of guys feel the same way about sex. Paid sex just doesn’t work for them. Maybe when these guys are as old and fat and and ugly as me, they will have a change of mind.
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Think of it as going to the theater except you are part of the play and you write a big part of the script, just for your own enjoyment.
 
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RightOn6975 said:
I think social time is a good idea, but I would only do social time under a few conditions.
...
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Exactly, but the key word here is "I". Just as there are a thousand different reasons why someone would use a prostitute there are just as many why someone would pay for "social time." Almost all of them are the same reasons, when you come down to it.
 
Frenchy said:
Think of it as going to the theater except you are part of the play and you write a big part of the script, just for your own enjoyment.
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I guess so. The thing is for me, I have plenty of ‘social time’, too much actually, with friends, family and colleagues. I get it for free. And I don’t need it to be associated with sex. I don’t need to have a pretend girlfriend. I just need a good fuck and suck every now and then. So I won’t be going to the play. I will be going to the gym. The sex gym. For a purely physical sex workout.
 
Wwanderer said:
I think and hope that you are not being serious in calling yourself a loser above.
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Ha, I didn't consider that anyone would take that seriously. Of course it was a dig at the relativism that is at the heart of this thread.

the thread is just one of those deals where someone puts other people down to make themselves look better or feel better about themselves.
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TAGman got at the heart of this early on, but didn't go far enough, IMO. Inherently this is about judging other people while justifying your own choices. I abhor the hypocrisy as I think all of this is on the same spectrum and only hypocrites judge others for where they lie on it.

Every reason people use to judge those who pay for social time is used against them by those who think visiting a prostitute is beneath them. The classic being, "you can't find a normal girl to have intercourse with?!"

This happens all the time here (and on every site). Why would anyone pay just to talk to a girl, just to feeel a girls boobs, just to jerk off in front of, just to get a HJ, just to get a BJ, ... A real man does it all or nothing.

It's tiresome and hypocritical. IMHO, of course.
It is your money, your time, your entertainment/enjoyment, your business, your concern only... Why would anyone else care?
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There is a positive way to do this. It would actually be a useful conversation if it were phrased as, "hey guys, a cheap and easy way to hang out with attractive women in Tokyo is to go on {website redacted} to find language sharing buddies.

Still waiting on the Tokyo website that matches me with hot women in their 20s who want to play pool with me on my terms. I'm starting to think it might not exist and I've been misled.
 
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warubuta said:
I guess so. The thing is for me, I have plenty of ‘social time’, too much actually, with friends, family and colleagues. I get it for free. And I don’t need it to be associated with sex. I don’t need to have a pretend girlfriend. I just need a good fuck and suck every now and then. So I won’t be going to the play. I will be going to the gym. The sex gym. For a purely physical sex workout.
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And thats totally OK too of course (even healthier I must admit)
 
akasam said:
Ha, I didn't consider that anyone would take that seriously. Of course it was a dig at the relativism that is at the heart of this thread.


TAGman got at the heart of this early on, but didn't go far enough, IMO. Inherently this is about judging other people while justifying your own choices. I abhor the hypocrisy as I think all of this is on the same spectrum and only hypocrites judge others for where they lie on it.

Every reason people use to judge those who pay for social time is used against them by those who think visiting a prostitute is beneath them. The classic being, "you can't find a normal girl to have intercourse with?!"

This happens all the time here (and on every site). Why would anyone pay just to talk to a girl, just to feeel a girls boobs, just to jerk off in front of, just to get a HJ, just to get a BJ, ... A real man does it all or nothing.

It's tiresome and hypocritical. IMHO, of course.

There is a positive way to do this. It would actually be a useful conversation if it were phrased as, "hey guys, a cheap and easy way to hang out with attractive women in Tokyo is to go on {website redacted} to find language sharing buddies.

Still waiting on the Tokyo website that matches me with hot women in their 20s who want to play pool with me on my terms. I'm starting to think it might not exist and I've been misled.
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For the record, I haven’t been judgemental. I have only said that I don’t understand how people can pay for it( social time) and it is not for me. And also for the record, I think it is perfectly alright to judge other people and justify your own choices. That is just the opposite of relativism, and it is how we make the world a better place. I think Ancient Greek culture is far superior to African Zulu culture. I could talk for hours about why it is. Relativism would demand that we consider each culture in its own context only and don’t judge one vs the other. Like kindergarten. Everybody gets a medal.
 
warubuta said:
But as far as paying someone just to talk to me, I can’t get myself to that place and I don’t see how others do. I should always be interesting and engaging enough for someone to want to talk to me. Otherwise I am a loser, by my own judgement.
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Do you really have such a hard time understanding how (100s of millions of) other men feel differently than you about things like money, social life, recreation etc? Do you really think your personal ideas about what it means to be a loser or winner (should) make any difference at all to those with different ideas? If so, I’d say you have me beat by miles in terms of being arrogant and judgemental! :rolleyes:

warubuta said:
And also for the record, I think it is perfectly alright to judge other people and justify your own choices. That is just the opposite of relativism, and it is how we make the world a better place. I think Ancient Greek culture is far superior to African Zulu culture. I could talk for hours about why it is.
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Seriously?? We are not talking about cultural or moral issues here. Not institutional racism, cultural misogyny, canabalism, abortion, incest, religious beliefs etc. This is about relatively minor issues of personal choice and individual personalities. There doesn’t seem to be much tolerance in your world view for anyone who isn’t a whole lot like you. And btw, it is quite possible to feel good about yourself without seeing other ways of living as being inferior.

-Ww
 
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Wwanderer said:
Do you really have such a hard time understanding how (100s of millions of) other men feel differently than you about things like money, social life, recreation etc? Do you really think your personal ideas about what it means to be a loser or winner (should) make any difference at all to those with different ideas? If so, I’d say you have me beat by miles in terms of being arrogant and judgemental! :rolleyes:



Seriously?? We are not talking about cultural or moral issues here. Not institutional racism, cultural misogyny, canabalism, abortion, incest, religious beliefs etc. This is about relatively minor issues of personal choice and individual personalities. There doesn’t seem to be much tolerance in your world view for anyone who isn’t a whole lot like you. And btw, it is quite possible to feel good about yourself without seeing other ways of living as being inferior.

-Ww
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Yea but you once again forget that this is the internet where some of us choose to say slightly provocative things with the hope that they will get an impassioned response. All I need is an opinion. Seriously. It is clearly not the case that I have a hard time imagining just about anything. Saying that I do is obviously a literary device. Don’t be silly. I’m glad to see that I am undeniably pissing you off.
 
warubuta said:
I’m glad to see that I am undeniably pissing you off.
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Wow! You couldn’t have timed that comment much better. I was just saying to someone (in an off TAG conversation) that I think you enjoy offending, irritating, annoying, angering etc other people (online at least) and that many of your posts are written with exactly that intent. I am not so clear on why. Perhaps you just enjoy making other people unhappy for some preverse reason or maybe it makes you feel better about yourself (superior?) or is it due to some sort of urge to get revenge on the world in general or...?

Anyway, I do have trouble seeing why anyone would want to piss other people off...but whatever.

-Ww
 
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Wwanderer said:
Wow! You couldn’t have timed that comment much better. I was just saying to someone (in an off TAG conversation) that I think you enjoy offending, irritating, annoying, angering etc other people (online at least) and that many of your posts are written with exactly that intent. I am not so clear on why. Perhaps you just enjoy making other people unhappy for some preverse reason or maybe it makes you feel better about yourself (superior?) or is it due to some sort of urge to get revenge on the world in general or...?

Anyway, I do have trouble seeing why anyone would want to piss other people off...but whatever.

-Ww
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It's called stirring the pot... as you well know... some people enjoy it and do it because it gives them some entertainment, pleasure or other satisfaction. Sometimes it is entertaining to read, sometimes boring, and other times it becomes hmmm mean and disruptive.
I'm sure you have met people that are usually argumentative and enjoy creating conflict - that's who they are or what they like to do. Maybe gives them an adrenaline rush ?? When you call someone on it, then they usually say "I'm just playin".... :rolleyes:

It is not very enjoyable when on the receiving end of it however, I agree. I once heard a phrase while in a barber shop.... "Maybe he stopped loving his Momma" it's always stuck with me and made me laugh... :D
 
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There is a line - not necessarily too fine a line - between stirring the pot and being a troll. Generally, it is defined by one's use of tact.

I dislike trollish behavior because it is obvious that it would rarely be tolerated in real life. Being rude or worse because one is safe behind a keyboard is a form of cowardice which I would not want to partake in.
 
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I am really not intending to stir the pot or to troll. And I would certainly change my alleged evil ways if more than one or two people took issue with what I said and/or how I was saying it, but since I only seem to be pissing off a few people, and since these few people are generally pissing me off too, well all is in balance in the mental Kingdom of the Buta. Sorry.

I mean are the things I say really that offensive? For example, the comment I made above, “I don’t see how others do (pay for social time)”, I mean exactly what is so out of bounds? I also “don’t see how others” for example, like to be urinated on. I think it is fucking disgusting, degrading and gross, and a sure sign of mental illness. Is for me to say so somehow intolerant and unacceptable? Say what you think! I do! Just don’t try to urinate on me. Please. And I won’t urinate on you, even if you want me to.
 
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ShowaJidai said:
There is a line - not necessarily too fine a line - between stirring the pot and being a troll. Generally, it is defined by one's use of tact.

I dislike trollish behavior because it is obvious that it would rarely be tolerated in real life. Being rude or worse because one is safe behind a keyboard is a form of cowardice which I would not want to partake in.
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Great point and one that I agree with completely. But let me ask you, who is to say what is tactful and what is not? Who is to say a poster is being insensitive or a reader is being overly sensitive? There are certainly a lot of insensitive people out there. But there are just as many who relish in pointing out every perceived micro transgression of the ‘rules’ of what you can say. Who makes these rules anyway? I will say what I want. And I hope you also say what you want. The rule makers need to take a chill pill. Or maybe we need a safe zone here where people only say nice, bland, non-judgemental and supportive things. “Oh, you paid her 50,000 yen to shit in your mouth and skewer your balls with her high heels? That’s nice. I am glad you enjoyed that.” But that would be the most boring place on this otherwise pretty interesting site.
 
warubuta said:
Great point and one that I agree with completely. But let me ask you, who is to say what is tactful and what is not? Who is to say a poster is being insensitive or a reader is being overly sensitive? There are certainly a lot of insensitive people out there. But there are just as many who relish in pointing out every perceived micro transgression of the ‘rules’ of what you can say. Who makes these rules anyway? I will say what I want. And I hope you also say what you want. The rule makers need to take a chill pill. Or maybe we need a safe zone here where people only say nice, bland, non-judgemental and supportive things. “Oh, you paid her 50,000 yen to shit in your mouth and skewer your balls with her high heels? That’s nice. I am glad you enjoyed that.” But that would be the most boring place on this otherwise pretty interesting site.
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Ah ah, reminds me a lot what I used to write a year ago or so. Then you find out its useless anyway, and you just ignore or get ignored. Make your own rules, dude. As long as you don’t kill or injure or rob anyone.
 
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warubuta said:
And I would certainly change my alleged evil ways if more than one or two people took issue with what I said and/or how I was saying it, but since I only seem to be pissing off a few people,
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Well, to delve into customer support stats, for every person that complains, you can be absolutely certain that there are a large number more who are unhappy but not saying so. The popular number thrown around by consultants is that about 4% complain, and that you're likely to have 25 unhappy people for every complaint you receive.

Further, any attempt to argue with you or point out that you're being a less than pleasant person are often met with acerbity and scorn, further reducing the number of replies you get that would properly indicate how people feel about your posting.

There are undoubtedly a large number more people taking issue with your writings than you believe.
 
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Sudsy said:
Well, to delve into customer support stats, for every person that complains, you can be absolutely certain that there are a large number more who are unhappy but not saying so. The popular number thrown around by consultants is that about 4% complain, and that you're likely to have 25 unhappy people for every complaint you receive.

Further, any attempt to argue with you or point out that you're being a less than pleasant person are often met with acerbity and scorn, further reducing the number of replies you get that would properly indicate how people feel about your posting.

There are undoubtedly a large number more people taking issue with your writings than you believe.
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And for every like or positive comment I get, I guess I can assume that there are an undoubtedly large number of people who really like my writing. Or perhaps your customer support stats don’t work that way? Because in general, and I may be wrong because I honestly don’t care enough to look closely, I think my comments, though rough and obnoxious, get a broad level of support. But I don’t really care either way. Anyway, thank you for pointing this out. It is very encouraging. Steady as she goes.
 
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What is tact? Yeah, there will be some variation from one person to the next but the best measure would be - how would the speaker react if somebody in real life addressed him face-to-face in the same manner and tone? If one would find it objectionable to be similarly addressed by a stranger in public, well, there's your answer.
 
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ShowaJidai said:
What is tact? Yeah, there will be some variation from one person to the next but the best measure would be - how would the speaker react if somebody in real life addressed him face-to-face in the same manner and tone? If one would find it objectionable to be similarly addressed by a stranger in public, well, there's your answer.
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Well that might or might not be a reasonable measure of tact on the internet, but I was thinking in more general terms. Who's to say how direct and confrontational we should or should not be in our interactions here or anywhere else? And who is to say how obsequious and fawning we should be or not be? Not me. Not you. All I can say is that I personally don't think I have been a dick. And if someone thinks I have been, well then, fuck him. Peace. Love. SeaBreeze.
 
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Wwanderer said:
To the extent we are talking about Japanese hostess bar and similar types of paid social time, it is important to see that the alcohol is a crucial component, as important as lubrication is to sex. Basically Japanese hostesses behave exactly the way drunk men want women to behave. The good ones are also skilled at keeping their customers at the level of inebriation in which they are having the most fun, not too sober nor too drunk for that happy party feeling. This is also of course when they spend the most willingly.

-Ww
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Perfect. A great description of one of the saddest, phoniest most pathetic examples of how strong and cunning humans (the hostesses and their paymasters) take advantage of the weak (the socially awkward and sexually retarded salaryman). Ww, I can't understand how you support this BS.
 
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