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When you’re in a shitty mood and still want companionship

Frenchy

Frenchy

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Ok not a feel-good topic , sorry...

Sometimes we are blue, angry, tired, anxious... for some reasons or no reason at all.

For me at least its the kind of periods when I need companionship the most. Yes, even more than when I’m horny.

And don’t want to bother friends or family with my crankiness.

So, and I know its weird, this is exactly when I feel like calling a SB or escort. Problem is , even if I pay good money, I still feel guilty to inflict on someone else’s those feelings for which (most of the time) they are not responsible.

Some providers are good at accepting a client or SD (well its kinda the same really) in such crappy moments and make him feel better , be it with sex, talk, cuddling, or simply being present and listening. And even better if its a combination of all this.

Others expect the guy to be always on his best behavior and others even expect the guy to put up with their own crankiness, but are not able or willing to reciprocate.

How do you feel about that? Shouldnt it be part of the “perfect” paid companion to know how to handle these situations too?
 
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A shitty mood is my own business and I don't expect anyone can help me. I usually cancel a meeting with my SB when I feel pissed. I still want to show her the best in me like I want to see the best in her. I know I'm just not good at seeing a woman when I am not in a good mood. I know some guys are good at it and take advantage of their abilities.
 
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Ken1988 said:
A shitty mood is my own business and I don't expect anyone can help me. I usually cancel a meeting with my SB when I feel pissed. I still want to show her the best in me like I want to see the best in her. I know I'm just not good at seeing a woman when I am not in a good mood. I know some guys are good at it and take advantage of their abilities.
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Yes, it’s probably healthier to act like that. I didnt mean “taking advantage” (if you mean by that getting more affection or pity or a freebie or anything like that in a manipulative way). I guess we all agree that we P4P to feel better , generally speaking. And not get the hassles of a “normal” relationship. So Should it be only for sexual release , when we feel like a million dollar? Personally I dont think so. At the end I chose who I want to spend time with depending on what I need at that time... if it’s great sex and nothing more it may be X, when needing more emotional support and deeper conversations it may be Y etc
 
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If I'm in a shitty mood, I'm more likely to hit up a (legitimate) massage place than anything else. Getting my muscles worked out generally makes me feel better, and they don't expect conversation.
 
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Sudsy said:
If I'm in a shitty mood, I'm more likely to hit up a (legitimate) massage place than anything else. Getting my muscles worked out generally makes me feel better, and they don't expect conversation.
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That’s a good idea. Just don’t choose a crappy place where the massage isn’t the focus of your visit.
 
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Frenchy said:
Ok not a feel-good topic , sorry...

Sometimes we are blue, angry, tired, anxious... for some reasons or no reason at all.

For me at least its the kind of periods when I need companionship the most. Yes, even more than when I’m horny.

And don’t want to bother friends or family with my crankiness.
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Whenever I’m in that kind of mood, that’s exactly when I turn to friends and family for support. (That’s what they’re there for, isn’t it? ;))

If I wanted to pay someone to listen to my bitching and moaning, I’d go to a licensed therapist.;)

If I want wild “swinging from the chandeliers” sex, then I’d go to an escort. ;):LOL:
 
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AMcguyver said:
Whenever I’m in that kind of mood, that’s exactly when I turn to friends and family for support. (That’s what they’re there for, isn’t it? ;))

If I wanted to pay someone to listen to my bitching and moaning, I’d go to a licensed therapist.;)

If I want wild “swinging from the chandeliers” sex, then I’d go to an escort. ;):LOL:
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True for escorts. For SBs... well in my experience at least it can be more fuzzy. There are things I say to my SBs which I would not say to most family members and friends (and sometimes SBs open up a lot too). Because you are close , without being too emotionally attached. Not sure I’m clear here, and again I totally accept that it can be considered weird.
 
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TAG Manager said:
That’s a good idea. Just don’t choose a crappy place where the massage isn’t the focus of your visit.
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Haha - that's exactly why I specified "legitimate". AF/AR/AS can be fun, but the girls are chatty, and a lot of them aren't that good at massage. I was talking more about the kind of places where you get worked over by an older person with fingers of steel. Good shiatsu....
 
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Sudsy said:
Haha - that's exactly why I specified "legitimate". AF/AR/AS can be fun, but the girls are chatty, and a lot of them aren't that good at massage. I was talking more about the kind of places where you get worked over by an older person with fingers of steel. Good shiatsu....
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Come to think of it onsens are good in those situations too (with legit massage at the onsen, just after soaking my butt in hot water!)
 
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Frenchy said:
There are things I say to my SBs which I would not say to most family members and friends (and sometimes SBs open up a lot too). Because you are close , without being too emotionally attached.
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I totally get this. Sometimes I find it easier to say things to people who aren’t close friends or family. Like a friend is too close and a stranger is too far away. Sometimes I need someone in between the two extremes, someone who won’t judge and I won’t feel too shameful to expose myself to (emotIonally) but at the same time cares enough to comfort.
 
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Acid Burn said:
I totally get this. Sometimes I find it easier to say things to people who aren’t close friends or family. Like a friend is too close and a stranger is too far away. Sometimes I need someone in between the two extremes, someone who won’t judge and I won’t feel too shameful to expose myself to (emotIonally) but at the same time cares enough to comfort.
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Yes, you expressed this much better than I did. Also I feel there is less risk a SB would feel offended or get involved in the situation or talk about it to other friends/family members (whom she doesnt know anyway) etc...
 
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Did you try whisky and listening to Blues music?

But I also understand about talking to someone that doesn’t know you really well about your woes. They can see it from a 3rd party perspective. And sometimes point out things or tell you things a friend or lover would not say to you.
 
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Frenchy said:
Ok not a feel-good topic , sorry...

Sometimes we are blue, angry, tired, anxious... for some reasons or no reason at all.

For me at least its the kind of periods when I need companionship the most. Yes, even more than when I’m horny.

And don’t want to bother friends or family with my crankiness.

So, and I know its weird, this is exactly when I feel like calling a SB or escort. Problem is , even if I pay good money, I still feel guilty to inflict on someone else’s those feelings for which (most of the time) they are not responsible.

Some providers are good at accepting a client or SD (well its kinda the same really) in such crappy moments and make him feel better , be it with sex, talk, cuddling, or simply being present and listening. And even better if its a combination of all this.

Others expect the guy to be always on his best behavior and others even expect the guy to put up with their own crankiness, but are not able or willing to reciprocate.

How do you feel about that? Shouldnt it be part of the “perfect” paid companion to know how to handle these situations too?
Click to expand...

I feel like in this case communication is key and making sure that you have a companion who knows how to, and depending on what you're hinting at with your level of crankiness, maybe is trained to deal with however you're feeling.

(Not to suggest anything, this could just be the regular cycle of emotional blues that everyone goes, but it could also be some signs of low-level depression. Which then your SB may need to be aware that so that she doesn't do something which could trigger a worse episode.)

Some people can handle that, some people have the general emotional capacity to be able to deal with other people's emotions and bad days.

Some people can't handle that level of additional labour, maybe because they're just generically unable to handle it, or because they're untrained to handle it, or just because they deal with it in their own lives or with others in their life and therefore don't want to deal with it when in a SB situation.

So you'd have to talk very clearly to your provider about these types of days, where you'd need to find out; Can they mentally deal with it? Would you pay them extra for that emotional labour? What sort of needs do you have during these times that they can cater to? How often and on what type of short notice would you need them? (And depending on how severe your situation is, would you need them to help or push you into seeking professional help? Do you need them to later check up on you? Because you're feeling vulnerable and pressured to not say or do anything in this time would you need someone who pushes past that boundary and "demands" you spend time with them when you're feeling "cranky")

Also just to check...
This is just general feeling of cranky and you're okay right?
 
DanniCake said:
I feel like in this case communication is key and making sure that you have a companion who knows how to, and depending on what you're hinting at with your level of crankiness, maybe is trained to deal with however you're feeling.

(Not to suggest anything, this could just be the regular cycle of emotional blues that everyone goes, but it could also be some signs of low-level depression. Which then your SB may need to be aware that so that she doesn't do something which could trigger a worse episode.)

Some people can handle that, some people have the general emotional capacity to be able to deal with other people's emotions and bad days.

Some people can't handle that level of additional labour, maybe because they're just generically unable to handle it, or because they're untrained to handle it, or just because they deal with it in their own lives or with others in their life and therefore don't want to deal with it when in a SB situation.

So you'd have to talk very clearly to your provider about these types of days, where you'd need to find out; Can they mentally deal with it? Would you pay them extra for that emotional labour? What sort of needs do you have during these times that they can cater to? How often and on what type of short notice would you need them? (And depending on how severe your situation is, would you need them to help or push you into seeking professional help? Do you need them to later check up on you? Because you're feeling vulnerable and pressured to not say or do anything in this time would you need someone who pushes past that boundary and "demands" you spend time with them when you're feeling "cranky")

Also just to check...
This is just general feeling of cranky and you're okay right?
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Ah ah, yes its ok, Im not about to jump from a bridge or something :)
But I can get cranky rather easily I admit. Just had another episode right now. Japanese bureaucracy drives me mad.
Thanks by the way, wise advices.
But won’t pay more for that ... ah ah!
 
Frenchy said:
Ah ah, yes its ok, Im not about to jump from a bridge or something :)
But I can get cranky rather easily I admit. Just had another episode right now. Japanese bureaucracy drives me mad.
Thanks by the way, wise advices.
But won’t pay more for that ... ah ah!
Click to expand...

Well I'm glad that it's not that bad, but still take care of yourself.

My mind always goes into BDSM for almost everything so a part of me wonders if a Service Submissive SB wouldn't be the type you need in this situation, someone whom by the nature of your engagement is dedicated to whatever you need to make you feel better, be that just cuddles, massages, play, or even something slightly more vicious to just help you work out your frustrations.

Either way, as long as you are honest with your lady about what you need then I'm sure you'll be able to find what you're looking for.
 
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DanniCake said:
Well I'm glad that it's not that bad, but still take care of yourself.

My mind always goes into BDSM for almost everything so a part of me wonders if a Service Submissive SB wouldn't be the type you need in this situation, someone whom by the nature of your engagement is dedicated to whatever you need to make you feel better, be that just cuddles, massages, play, or even something slightly more vicious to just help you work out your frustrations.

Either way, as long as you are honest with your lady about what you need then I'm sure you'll be able to find what you're looking for.
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Yes that or doing rugby and martial arts again, alas too old and fat now... or just destroying a punching ball in the gym.
but your suggestion is interesting . In fact one of my SBs fit that profile rather well, although it is not at all the reason why I see her.
 
Frenchy said:
Yes that or doing rugby and martial arts again, alas too old and fat now...
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There is no such a thing as being too old and fat for destructive sports. You can always compensate by being uglier and meaner than anyone else. Destroying someone who is half, or nowadays even just third, of your age makes you forgot about the blues you were having.

And yes, sometimes it goes the other way but being scared for your life tends to make me forgot my other annoyances too or at least make them appear small in comparison. :D
 
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Usually I post on TAG. So really sorry for inflicting the shittier side of my life upon this here fine community and thank you for bearing with it.
 
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Frenchy said:
And its free!! :)
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We'll see how long. Chris could make a lot of money for making bad posters to pay up. I would need to actually find employment to continue to participate here!
 
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MikeH said:
We'll see how long. Chris could make a lot of money for making bad posters to pay up. I would need to actually find employment to continue to participate here!
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Well if he got even just 5 bucks for all the shitty posts on TAG... fortune guaranteed!
 
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I don't think I've ever thought of hitting up providers when I'm in a shitty mood. I'll probably call my friends and go listen to some aggressive music at Cyclone or Antiknock to work off the stress lol. Maybe one of said friends will be a fuck buddy and sex will be involved after since they are a friend and more likely to put up with me being moody. I usually just want to get active to take my mind off things when I'm having a shitty day...More in the form of swinging fists and crowd surfing than mad humping all night but sometimes why not both?
 
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