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Escorts And Married Men

GoldenDalton

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The other day I went on a date with a woman I found very appealing in an intellectual way. Going out with her again, but just hypotheticals have me wondering about some things.

I'm not getting any younger, yet at the same time the thought of only one woman for the rest of life is very intimidating. I've met some women who have said they'd be ok with pros provided certain conditions were met.

But I've also heard that many escorts have contempt for married clients ( dont ask me where) even though they don't show it. The thought of someone secretly loathing me is a huge turn-off. So the marriage plus p4p idea might not work? What do you guys think? In your exp. do escorts generally hate married clients? I get that there's going to be a lot of variance here. Obviously it's generalities I'm looking at.

If I can't do p4p that makes the prospect of marriage even more daunting! I'm starting to think I'm just not cut out for it as I fear it. At the same time I'm starting to think something is missing.

Any thoughts are appreciated.
 
Any thoughts? Okay, here I go. Is there any point in marrying if you are sure you will cheat? Since I'm young(in my early 20s) I may be idealizing this whole marriage relationship thing, but to me it sounds like a big deal. I mean, won't it be nasty to wake up everyday with the same woman while going out during the day with others? Nasty, like killing myself with guilt, having this special one in your life and wasting that little free off work time on other girls. I really don't think my opinion weighs anything since I'm probably can be your son by my age lol.
 
Providers often ask me if I'm married or have a girlfriend, like they pretty much assume I'm cheating. I hate this. I enjoy sex, and I'll pay for it if it means getting a hotter girl. But, I have no intentions of cheating on anyone or hurting anyone in the process.

I don't know what providers you've talked to, but I would think that their contempt is for married men who cheat. In many cases, the majority of men they see are married, and the vast majority aren't single. Seeing so many men who cheat on their wives would leave a negative impact on one's psyche if such the woman desires an exclusive relationship herself. If you have permission from your wife to see them, though, I don't see why they would mind. And, if they do, they're being kinda silly. Worst case, just tell them you're not married.

I am curious, what were "conditions" that these women gave you?
 
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I get asked by just about all the escorts I've been with, if you think they will hate you if you aren't single then tell them you are single. I mean it's ok to lie to them, it's not something they really need to know. I always tell them the truth about it though, they've never seemed to mind and they're always happy to make appts with me.
 
All these p4p girls would be out of business if married men were not using them

It is always a discussion, but most men can separate love for a single woman and sex to release some loads. Beeing married for a few years, you will see your relationship getting stronger but at the same time sex is still great but it might be missing some novelties sometimes. Unless you can convince your wife to go swinging, you have all those ladies p4p who give this extra excitement.

Personally, I never give personal info to a girl I pay, and no one should never forget they give you a service for your money
 
I think, GoldenD, you have opened a mighty can of worms. This is not a judgment, just an observation of a certain scenario: is it not kind of ironic that a woman who is selling sex out of choice (they could do other things to get money), which is something morally frowned upon in most societies and cultures, would 'loath' a man buying that sex, if a man is perhaps 'locked up' in a 'soured' relationship (marriage) that is demanded by most societies and cultures (married guys might need to stay married).

For a start, escorts might loath customers for lots of reasons. But if it comes to being because they are married, surely the reason why they a paying for sex is important. Some married guys might because they want younger, 'hotter', or more kinky women. They might still be also sleeping with their wives (and they might still have a good, healthy relationship). Other married guys might be not sleeping (so sex, warmth, affection, zilch) with their wives but also still staying true to their 'married' responsibilities to supporting the household and children, maybe even the woman.

For escorts to just generally loath married customers is not particularly 'fair' considering the above. So I would ask escorts who are reading, who deserves being loathed?
a. married guy who is still sleeping with his wife and has a good relationship, which includes sex and affection
b. married guy who is still sleeping with his wife but has a poor relationship, which includes sex
c. married guy who is not sleeping with his wife but has a good relationship without sex
d. married guy who is not sleeping with his wife and has a poor relationship without sex

and if 'married guy WITH CHILDREN' would it change your answer?
 
John, not the sort of response I'd be looking for from an escort.

If anyone gets to shoot their load - it is me!
 
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If you like being around people who secretly think you're reprehensible that's on you.

I'm not worried about " rejection."
Ya can't please everybody or make everyone happy. I feel lucky when I'm accepted even though that's becoming less and less :)
 
Any thoughts? Okay, here I go. Is there any point in marrying if you are sure you will cheat? Since I'm young(in my early 20s) I may be idealizing this whole marriage relationship thing, but to me it sounds like a big deal. I mean, won't it be nasty to wake up everyday with the same woman while going out during the day with others? Nasty, like killing myself with guilt, having this special one in your life and wasting that little free off work time on other girls. I really don't think my opinion weighs anything since I'm probably can be your son by my age lol.

Plenty of reason to marry besides the romantic ones. That kind of "love" fades eventually. Children are the big one. In some instances economics are important. not so much in mine as financially it'd be a net loss.

I personally don't see anything wrong with married men having mistresses, gfs, etc. personally I would want to be above board about this with my wife, that's just me.

As you get older you'll see guys literally ruined by marriage and divorce. Sexual frigidity can be a part of that.
But really, I know that when I've had a gf I've never had a problem separating the purely carnal from the emotional. It's not really an issue.

When I was younger it definitely was. Like many young men, I was a beta white-knight. I never understood how I guy could ever even need more than one partner. Then I entered a two year relationship with a person who proved less and less compatible after a while. This changed my perspective.

In most societies and in most of history successful men have rarely been 100 percent monogamous, at least with behavior.

But I don't think you're " wrong" at all.

You shouldn't really even be thinking about this stuff right now. You should be our approaching girls, building confidence, etc.

Sorry that's my big brother attitude talking lol. I have a 23 year old brother, just got out of college. I harp on him about everything that's out there. He spent all of college with a girl he met in high school! So much more out there.

He was devastated because she cheated on him then dumped him. I flew him to Caracas and he picked a 10 up that night and never though about her again.

So much more out there. And that is just what I have to decide- all of that vs. children. Course if I can have my cake and eat it...
 
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Ya can't please everybody or make everyone happy. I feel lucky when I'm accepted even though that's becoming less and less :)
Why is that, if you don't mind my asking? You don't seem too unlikeable to me.

For me it's not about " rejection" so much as a shattering of the illusion. More a boner-killer than anything. Like a clock-watcher.

But it's true- you can't please everyone.
 
Providers often ask me if I'm married or have a girlfriend, like they pretty much assume I'm cheating. I hate this. I enjoy sex, and I'll pay for it if it means getting a hotter girl. But, I have no intentions of cheating on anyone or hurting anyone in the process.

I don't know what providers you've talked to, but I would think that their contempt is for married men who cheat. In many cases, the majority of men they see are married, and the vast majority aren't single. Seeing so many men who cheat on their wives would leave a negative impact on one's psyche if such the woman desires an exclusive relationship herself. If you have permission from your wife to see them, though, I don't see why they would mind. And, if they do, they're being kinda silly. Worst case, just tell them you're not married.

I am curious, what were "conditions" that these women gave you?

I don't have a wife or even a serious girlfriend.

I visited my old unit and ran the two mile in 14:04. I still exercise regularly, so it's not sloth. It's pure age. In my 30s I just can't do what I did at 25.
It and some other things got me to thinking about most of the important issues- mortality, children, etc.

If I get married it will be with a South American woman. No J-wife for me lol.
 
Why is that, if you don't mind my asking? You don't seem too unlikeable to me.

For me it's not about " rejection" so much as a shattering of the illusion. More a boner-killer than anything. Like a clock-watcher.

But it's true- you can't please everyone.
I'm getting older the younger girls don't look at me like they used to. I guess I'll never grow up in my head......hahaha
 
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Don't get it.
Now you understand. Apply that same reasoning to all of those women "secretly" loathing you, and you'll forget you ever worried about it. (y)
 
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Now you understand. Apply that same reasoning to all of those women "secretly" loathing you, and you'll forget you ever worried about it. (y)
Thanks John.....perfect in fact :)
 
I'm not all that worried about it to be honest, though the confidence boosting-discussion is always appreciated. I just wanted to talk about escorts out of boredom, and marriage in general.

They can't " secretly loathe me" on this issue because I'm not married. One girl I knew whined about how escorting " destroyed her belief in men." I think she may have just been wanting a shopping trip though, as that was her thing and I let her play me ( id do it again too. She was fiiiiiinnnnnee) easily a hard 10.
Now you understand. Apply that same reasoning to all of those women "secretly" loathing you, and you'll forget you ever worried about it. (y)
i don't have a problem there though.

None of these women "secretly loathe" me as I'm about as I'm about as committed to a
Now you understand. Apply that same reasoning to all of those women "secretly" loathing you, and you'll forget you ever worried about it. (y)

I don't have a problem with "confidence."

Sometimes I like reading about escorts as an external subject, for the same reason police, actors/actresses. Preachers, etc. interest me.
Now you understand. Apply that same reasoning to all of those women "secretly" loathing you, and you'll forget you ever worried about it. (y)
I appreciate the advice. I'm not really suffering from confidence issues, though. I have some ptsd issues but they dont really apply here. This is a little more complicated but here we go ha.

I'm a professional anthroplogist (won't give out too much info). I'm interested in escorts as a phenomenon. Not professionally, as my general work revolves around other issues. Just personally. Escorts interest me in an abstract way, like many other professions. The ins and outs of their industry fascinate me and I'm eager to learn about attitudes and perspectives towards many issues.


At the same time, there is an ethical component for me. I hold myself to a fairly stringent code of honor and I do not want to be responsible for souring a young woman towards marriage- that's what I mean by " boner killer." It's not that I want the whore to " like me." It's that I need it to fit within specific ethical parameters ( consensual/not under severe financial strain/no pimps, etc.).

I know it's complicated lol. However I do think what you are saying about confidence is true. Wish I had had more confidence back in the day. Of course I wonder if even now I have true confidence. As you get older it can seem more like just not caring than true confidence.
 
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Can we get a 'loathing discount' or something?