Dating Apps: A Guide

Which app has been most successful for you?

fonto12 said:

Which app has been most successful for you?

Click to expand...

Sent you a private message, sir.

Agree. Personality and confidence has a lot to do with it, in my experience. But I don’t think overweight guys should listen to advice that suggests they don’t have a chance. I think a similar post from the past simply said “don’t be fat.”

When you are in good shape you get stronger erections and can have sex longer, more often and also try positions and acts you can't when fat.

Enough reasons to motivate you. Though I would love if a girl would promise me sex acts if I lose weight. Though I think some rules for that would need to be spelled out clearly or I would end up chopping off one of my legs to get anal from a hot spinner.

I dont know if i should post it here or not. But anyway hmm i tried using tapple for hmm 2 weeks already and im pretty much follow this guide (about 自己紹介etc2) but most of message is like going nowhere. Idk if i did wrong or something.

Basically the flow is like this:-
Got a match, i sent a msg and got few of them replied and the chatting somehow continued about hobbies etc2 until a certain “point” that she never replied me again...i didnt ask them to go out yet etc2...so the question is am i too late to ask for a date? Or is there something wrong with the flow ? Tbh idk when should i invite to go out..the best timing to ask for a drink....because well some girls wrote on their profile something like “i dont like someone who want to meet immediately” etc2

thegreek said:

Tapple is trash lately. It's like an expensive tinder. 100 likes for a girl is very low and 1000 is like standard now. I stupidly forked out for premium which is supposed to put you at the top of the pile but even then it's crap. Reasonable amount of matches but barely any communicate.

I have a go at it every few months but it seems to get worse every time. I did get one shag out of it lately but that was a one-off mental-case lol. In general I wouldn't recommend it now, only for light/don't expect nothing usage.

Perhaps use it in conjunction with one of the others.

Click to expand...

Yea same goes with me. Its been 2 weeks and seems like no progress at all and sometimes no even replying. I am planning to stop using tapple after 1 month since i already paid for 1 month membership lol.
I dont know what apps should i use instead. As OP and some members here did mention, i am thinking about using omiai or pairs. I am looking for some serious relationship/or friend or some hookups. I dont know if Pairs will be any good compare to tapple or not .

This 'guide' is hilarious and anyone who takes it seriously just doesn't know how to interact with another human or they have no idea how dating apps work. I found this site because I was Googling for new apps and stumbled upon this thread. Only useful information in OP is the Japanese apps that are listed, I knew about Tapple, Pairs and Omiai but first time hearing With.Is or Zekushi etc.

Hey, first time i'm posting so please forgive me if It's not allowed to revive an old thread, let me know and i'll make sure not to do it, been a lurker and fan of the websites for a couple years and decided to contribute my own experiences, and I don't think adding a new thread is necessary considering this thread is already targeting the subject.

Background: I have been using dating apps and exchange apps for about 20 months or so by now, I am a decent looking guy, tall, not "white" by most definitions buy Japanese can't really tell the difference between me and an Italian. So let's say I look southern European.

My success (and fall) in apps has been a rollercoasters with times where I had almost no good date for a month and times where my schedule was filled basically every day with several dates a day.

My birthday is near and I decided I want a change in my lifestyle, apps have swallowed up a huge chunk of my life and I have decided it is best to do some self introspection and working on myself, I have made some questionable choices and lost valuable connections over this, which made me realize I have invested more time into something I only started to pass some time and meet new people for at first.

That being said, here's a summary of how across 20 months, while being overworked at my previous workplace for a year, trying to manage a social life, travel, and even seriously dating for a while, I still pulled over 50 girls (by pulled I mean, they woke up in my bed). I don't think it's amazing numbers but it's decent enough to warrant some merit to me sharing my experiences so I hope this helps you guys out.

Also i'll apologize in advance for the walls of text.

For the dating apps, I have used :
Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, PJ

For non dating, I have used:
HelloTalk

I'll start with where I had the most success:
With a resounding lead, Bumble

Bumble is the leading foreigner-facing app right now. It was created by the co-founder of Tinder and is NOT part of the Match group. This is an important point, because Match group owns, among Tinder, many other dating apps in different regions and it's policies towards its users are similar.
Bumble is a direct competitor and an up-and-coming market taker, this is relevant because as Bumble grows, it's doing it's best to steal Tinder and other established apps' market share. And it did so by having better UI, better moderation (I have only ONCE encountered a scammer in Bumble, they are very quickly removed), constant updates, improvements and a better Premium plan (Although thanks to recent success and becoming a Publicly Listed Company, they have raised prices and changed benefits which reduces some of their previous appeal).

One of Bumble's biggest points to separate it from the competition was that it's considered the feminist app. They do this by challenging the typical heterosexual approach and forcing WOMEN to make the first move. Basically, you match by swiping on profiles just like Tinder, however once matched , the match only holds for 24 hours, and the only way to maintain the match is by having the WOMAN send a message first (Men CANNOT send a message until the woman does).

What does this mean for us ? Well, less time wasting. Women who never intended to reply to you after a match or because they found a better match in the 24 hours limit will simply not hit you up. This effectively filters girls who were gonna waste your time for you, WITHOUT you needing to make any input. This feature alone knocks other apps out of the park. That's not to say every time a woman sent a message evolved into a convo, but what matters is the Attach rate, and Bumble's Attach rate is the highest thanks to this.

Aside from this killer feature, Bumble in general has a smaller but more `quality` pool of users, as the app promotes more well written, `""filled out"" profiles with photos and bios. This helps you get a better idea of the person you match with unlike Tinder. In general, you'll rarely if ever find profiles of a dog, a coffee, or a backshot of a girl's hair because Bumble does not allow you to not have a clear face shot.

Now for how Bumble is in Japan:
Bumble, being very western minded for obvious reasons, attracts mostly foreigners and the foreigner-minded crowd. Most profiles are written in English, most girls are looking for "Language friends" and "internationally minded" people. It is, by all matters and definitions, a gaijin hunter app. And it's growing in use. Japanese who interact with foreigners know it. And they are introducing it to their friends.

When I first made a profile, which was not as impressive as my current one but one could say looked more genuine maybe, I got about 30 likes on the day I opened it.
These are real likes by girls who really want to talk.
From those though, the girls whoI found both attractive and in the age range I was interested at (19 to late 20's), was about 8, out of which those I found attractive was 3.
But that's one day. The following day I got 10 likes. The next 5. and thats how it kept until my ELO settled in a few months later.
By now I get maybe a couple likes a week. I have to note the number of likes I got fell down fast after I bought lifetime premium. In general I do not recommend it. It's better not to commit to any apps as they change rules and algorithms frequently and may screw you or the app itself after a while. The world of OLD is always changing.

However, since Bumble was the new kid on the block, it had way less "serial users" (users on Bumble are less likely to be on other apps), and less flakers.
The situation has since changed and bumble grew. And changed itself. It's still the better app for fresh off the boat foreigners, but if you have good mastery of Japanese and extra income, maybe it's time to take a look at the Japanese apps. Bumble has lots more users now and by the general vibe I can already tell it's becoming a new Tinder slowly but surely.
The last two months I had were my most prolific, this month, 20 days in I already had sex with 7 new girls. Some were built over a pretty long period though and since I realized the ELO is now fucking me completely and I cant really get any new quality matches without boosts, and can't be arsed to reset my profile, I have decided to cut ties for now and just let it rest. So likely following two excellent months, in September, my number will near 0, which I think is better for my mental health atm.

Now for the other apps,
Tinder - by all means, a dumpster fire. Scammers, flakers, liars, timewasters, girls pointing to Twitter and Insta (don't bother, seriously), and lots of bad pics of someone's eye, hair back shot, or whatever the fuck you can imagine, Tinder is a bad joke on most days. But since it's the most well known app, among all the shit, there is gold sometimes. You just need to have patience of steel to reach it.
The App experience itself is just bad and the app was built by code monkeys it seems, I often lost matches for no reason aside from that Tinder just decided to clean up or mess with my entire list for no reason.
Occasionally you can find decently quality on Tinder but since girls have endless options both foreigner and local, they are far more flaky and likely to disappear on you for any reason at any time. If possible, get the girl off the app fast. The App is so broken you can disappear off her list for no reason at all. She won't bother searching for you, trust me.
Another pain point is what's supposed to be the good and bad point in Tinder - it's reputation as a hookup app - falls flat in Japan. Many actually use it for serious relationships, which is not bad tbh but makes things difficult, or worse -- language exchange (purely) and friend making. Whether through pure or willful ignorance, many Japanese girls like to act surprised or even shocked when you infer to more than becoming her English sensei or a token "gaijin pal".
Don't play into it, don't coax up to her. Even if you get to shag, in my experience, the amount of effort you need to put into it is almost depressing. Cut your losses with idiots.
In short - can you get girls with Tinder? Yes. Is it worth the effort? Eehhhhhhhh probably not but it's a good supplement for a decent one.

Badoo - Trashy app mostly full of SEA girls and occasional lost Japanese girls, and ladyboys. Lots of hookers too. I met one girl and she was a time waster but I know a guy who met his sweetheart there. Proceed with caution.

OKCupid - a bit of a wild west. Has alot of girls looking for foreigners but is cumbersome to use (TEXT TEXT TEXT), Better than Tinder as an app but obnoxious to use. I get likes fairly consistently but almost no meets and mostly girls who want something serious. I know people use it to hookup but i've honestly always kept it on the back burner, Only met someone once and it was a subpar experience.

PJ - A sugardaddy app. Honestly downloaded pretty randomly, only realized later its that kind of app. Should've tipped me off when hot girls were liking me so much.I wrote on my profile i'm not looking for `financial` relationships and matches dropped quite fast. Was still able to pull one girl from there and she was actually quite hot , tall, and I was her first foreigner. She wasn't looking for money, just had a friend recommended it to her and downloaded it randomly like me. So I guess I just got kinda lucky. Unfortunately she only visits Tokyo sporadically so I won't be seeing her again any time soon I guess.
Met another girl and we had sex in a hotel but then brought up payment, promised it's a one time thing for an STD test. She was a trooper though and tbh asking me to meet next to a hotel should've made it obvious to me it's "That kinda thing" so I considered it far and gave her a donation. Then she sent me a message about meeting again and I happily agreed but made clear i'm not looking to p2p thing and she stopped replying so I guess that was that.
It's kinda shitty and slow to user and they want 1man a month to use so I wouldn't recommend this app unless you want to try SD. I don't , so I will delete this app once my 1 month sub is over. I got my value out of it I guess.

HelloTalk - a "non-dating" app. Used for language exchange and pretty popular in Asia. Has gotten a reputation for being used for "other purposes", The helloTalk team actively knows about this and claims to ban those who use it for dating but clearly they are just faking it cause they kept adding "dating features" ( You don't need an age, location, and gender filter in a language learning app), and increased their sub for premium features like those filters and also who views your profile.
The app works kinda like a social media and you can actively DM people. This is important because combined with the above feature you can basically get a curated list of girls, shoot them a message, and then see what happens. empty guy profiles without pictures or "Posts" on your timeline will likely be met with less than 10% response rate, but thats why you can shotgun it. Please note every girl gets thousands of messages because of it and likely won't reply to you or stop at any given point.
Also since this isn't a dating app you have to slowly build up trust and a mutual feeling bonding before you can create any dating context but this of course depends on your vibe with the girl. I only bedded one girl here first time and it was because I didn't plan to, we just got shitfaced drunk and shit happened. Usually 2nd or 3rd time worked.
HelloTalk helped me find quality girls (my first Japanese GF was from there!) , but its a time investment both into your profile and into building trust. The fact it's not a dating site is also very nice for avoiding a suspicious atmosphere. Honestly if you're considering a long term relationship it's not a bad app for this.
Just please remember it's not a dating app, don't get surprised if your attach rate is very low or it ends up a dud (I just wanted a language buddy!) . It's not a dating app, you can't complain it didn't end up with a hookup or relationship.

Now for numbers!

a rough split of the amounts I got per app:
Bumble - 30 girls
Badoo - 0 girls
Tinder - 6 girls
OKCupid - 1 girl
PJ - 2 girls
HelloTalk - 7 girls
The rest of the girls I had were off-app experiences.

I have calculated my attach rate (girls who I met and ended in bed with - to matches) to other apps and found the following findings:
Bumble - 1 to 15
Tinder - 1 to 32
Badoo - 1 to 25
OKCupid - 1 to 60
PJ - 1 to 20
HelloTalk - 1 to 40

Here's a few tips I have for OLD:

Don't get attached.

Seriously. Don't. Not even if you are talking on the app for days. Not even if you met the girl. Not even if you had sex. Not even if you started dating for a bit. Don't.
It's this kind of world. When a girl goes out into real life, and gets nampa'd, there's usually a couple men who hit on her. If it's a busy day, and she's super hot, maybe even a dozen. But it will take more balls than sending unsolicited requests on an app. So it filters out most men.
Then she downloads an app and she gets suitors by the thousands. This either ridiculously inflates the girl's ego or outright intimidates her. Either way, you match with her, you are treated suspiciously and with her minimum allowable attention span. Such is OLD.
So if at any point she decides to cut you off, unless you did something really weird or creepy, It's probably not your fault. It's not that you did something bad, it's just that she has her own priorities/someone did something better/She got bored or overwhelmed. I asked sometimes to see girls' side of the app from girls I have been with. They basically have endless lists of hot guys begging for attention.
When I ask why me, some said "you have a cute smile/ you can carry conversation well/ you seemed like a nice decent guy". And many just said "Nanto naku (Just because)/ Because you were the first guy I matched/ I just picked randomly".

In other words, even your success on an app is often not thanks to you but rather pure RNG. So don't get depressed about failing. It's the same. Getting a loyal GF from dating apps is harder than a hookup IMO.

Which leads me to my second tip:

Don't measure yourself by how you are valued on apps.

I know more than a share fair of guys who I personally think look better, talk better, and are more successful than me. And they do awful on apps.
Dating apps, for the many reasons I mentioned, are a completely different game than real life approach. You need to know how to play it right.
Guys who are amazing at life and interesting but are below 5"10 , or not from X country, or have beard/ tattoos/ bald, so girls filter them out from the get go.
Are not great texters, or don't know how to create interesting bios.
They get screwed over by the ELO which creates a downward cycle unless they pay their way out of it.
This does not mean you are not attractive or interesting. I had more success than them from apps but they pick up a girl at a bar and club easy and I can say I only ever picked up 2 slags from a bar I was honestly regretful already as I was boarding the shuuden with them, and NEVER felt comfortable in a club and found picking up club girls downright impossible for myself.
Different people feel comfortable at different kinds of scenarios. This does not reflect on you as a person, you only need to compare yourself to, well, yourself. If dating apps prove depressing and uncomfortable for you, and you enjoy the experience of locking eyes with a stranger and striking up interesting conversation, by all means, stick to that. I personally have gotten tired of apps myself and I do want to enjoy bar and clubbing more but I know it's not my scene so I don't feel bad about not bringing a girl home every time I go clubbing, so neither should you feel bad about OLD if it's not immediately popping for you.

This has been my experience with OLD. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

TohouAsura said:

Hey, first time i'm posting so please forgive me if It's not allowed to revive an old thread, let me know and i'll make sure not to do it, been a lurker and fan of the websites for a couple years and decided to contribute my own experiences, and I don't think adding a new thread is necessary considering this thread is already targeting the subject.

Background: I have been using dating apps and exchange apps for about 20 months or so by now, I am a decent looking guy, tall, not "white" by most definitions buy Japanese can't really tell the difference between me and an Italian. So let's say I look southern European.

My success (and fall) in apps has been a rollercoasters with times where I had almost no good date for a month and times where my schedule was filled basically every day with several dates a day.

My birthday is near and I decided I want a change in my lifestyle, apps have swallowed up a huge chunk of my life and I have decided it is best to do some self introspection and working on myself, I have made some questionable choices and lost valuable connections over this, which made me realize I have invested more time into something I only started to pass some time and meet new people for at first.

That being said, here's a summary of how across 20 months, while being overworked at my previous workplace for a year, trying to manage a social life, travel, and even seriously dating for a while, I still pulled over 50 girls (by pulled I mean, they woke up in my bed). I don't think it's amazing numbers but it's decent enough to warrant some merit to me sharing my experiences so I hope this helps you guys out.

Also i'll apologize in advance for the walls of text.

For the dating apps, I have used :
Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, PJ

For non dating, I have used:
HelloTalk

I'll start with where I had the most success:
With a resounding lead, Bumble

Bumble is the leading foreigner-facing app right now. It was created by the co-founder of Tinder and is NOT part of the Match group. This is an important point, because Match group owns, among Tinder, many other dating apps in different regions and it's policies towards its users are similar.
Bumble is a direct competitor and an up-and-coming market taker, this is relevant because as Bumble grows, it's doing it's best to steal Tinder and other established apps' market share. And it did so by having better UI, better moderation (I have only ONCE encountered a scammer in Bumble, they are very quickly removed), constant updates, improvements and a better Premium plan (Although thanks to recent success and becoming a Publicly Listed Company, they have raised prices and changed benefits which reduces some of their previous appeal).

One of Bumble's biggest points to separate it from the competition was that it's considered the feminist app. They do this by challenging the typical heterosexual approach and forcing WOMEN to make the first move. Basically, you match by swiping on profiles just like Tinder, however once matched , the match only holds for 24 hours, and the only way to maintain the match is by having the WOMAN send a message first (Men CANNOT send a message until the woman does).

What does this mean for us ? Well, less time wasting. Women who never intended to reply to you after a match or because they found a better match in the 24 hours limit will simply not hit you up. This effectively filters girls who were gonna waste your time for you, WITHOUT you needing to make any input. This feature alone knocks other apps out of the park. That's not to say every time a woman sent a message evolved into a convo, but what matters is the Attach rate, and Bumble's Attach rate is the highest thanks to this.

Aside from this killer feature, Bumble in general has a smaller but more `quality` pool of users, as the app promotes more well written, `""filled out"" profiles with photos and bios. This helps you get a better idea of the person you match with unlike Tinder. In general, you'll rarely if ever find profiles of a dog, a coffee, or a backshot of a girl's hair because Bumble does not allow you to not have a clear face shot.

Now for how Bumble is in Japan:
Bumble, being very western minded for obvious reasons, attracts mostly foreigners and the foreigner-minded crowd. Most profiles are written in English, most girls are looking for "Language friends" and "internationally minded" people. It is, by all matters and definitions, a gaijin hunter app. And it's growing in use. Japanese who interact with foreigners know it. And they are introducing it to their friends.

When I first made a profile, which was not as impressive as my current one but one could say looked more genuine maybe, I got about 30 likes on the day I opened it.
These are real likes by girls who really want to talk.
From those though, the girls whoI found both attractive and in the age range I was interested at (19 to late 20's), was about 8, out of which those I found attractive was 3.
But that's one day. The following day I got 10 likes. The next 5. and thats how it kept until my ELO settled in a few months later.
By now I get maybe a couple likes a week. I have to note the number of likes I got fell down fast after I bought lifetime premium. In general I do not recommend it. It's better not to commit to any apps as they change rules and algorithms frequently and may screw you or the app itself after a while. The world of OLD is always changing.

However, since Bumble was the new kid on the block, it had way less "serial users" (users on Bumble are less likely to be on other apps), and less flakers.
The situation has since changed and bumble grew. And changed itself. It's still the better app for fresh off the boat foreigners, but if you have good mastery of Japanese and extra income, maybe it's time to take a look at the Japanese apps. Bumble has lots more users now and by the general vibe I can already tell it's becoming a new Tinder slowly but surely.
The last two months I had were my most prolific, this month, 20 days in I already had sex with 7 new girls. Some were built over a pretty long period though and since I realized the ELO is now fucking me completely and I cant really get any new quality matches without boosts, and can't be arsed to reset my profile, I have decided to cut ties for now and just let it rest. So likely following two excellent months, in September, my number will near 0, which I think is better for my mental health atm.

Now for the other apps,
Tinder - by all means, a dumpster fire. Scammers, flakers, liars, timewasters, girls pointing to Twitter and Insta (don't bother, seriously), and lots of bad pics of someone's eye, hair back shot, or whatever the fuck you can imagine, Tinder is a bad joke on most days. But since it's the most well known app, among all the shit, there is gold sometimes. You just need to have patience of steel to reach it.
The App experience itself is just bad and the app was built by code monkeys it seems, I often lost matches for no reason aside from that Tinder just decided to clean up or mess with my entire list for no reason.
Occasionally you can find decently quality on Tinder but since girls have endless options both foreigner and local, they are far more flaky and likely to disappear on you for any reason at any time. If possible, get the girl off the app fast. The App is so broken you can disappear off her list for no reason at all. She won't bother searching for you, trust me.
Another pain point is what's supposed to be the good and bad point in Tinder - it's reputation as a hookup app - falls flat in Japan. Many actually use it for serious relationships, which is not bad tbh but makes things difficult, or worse -- language exchange (purely) and friend making. Whether through pure or willful ignorance, many Japanese girls like to act surprised or even shocked when you infer to more than becoming her English sensei or a token "gaijin pal".
Don't play into it, don't coax up to her. Even if you get to shag, in my experience, the amount of effort you need to put into it is almost depressing. Cut your losses with idiots.
In short - can you get girls with Tinder? Yes. Is it worth the effort? Eehhhhhhhh probably not but it's a good supplement for a decent one.

Badoo - Trashy app mostly full of SEA girls and occasional lost Japanese girls, and ladyboys. Lots of hookers too. I met one girl and she was a time waster but I know a guy who met his sweetheart there. Proceed with caution.

OKCupid - a bit of a wild west. Has alot of girls looking for foreigners but is cumbersome to use (TEXT TEXT TEXT), Better than Tinder as an app but obnoxious to use. I get likes fairly consistently but almost no meets and mostly girls who want something serious. I know people use it to hookup but i've honestly always kept it on the back burner, Only met someone once and it was a subpar experience.

PJ - A sugardaddy app. Honestly downloaded pretty randomly, only realized later its that kind of app. Should've tipped me off when hot girls were liking me so much.I wrote on my profile i'm not looking for `financial` relationships and matches dropped quite fast. Was still able to pull one girl from there and she was actually quite hot , tall, and I was her first foreigner. She wasn't looking for money, just had a friend recommended it to her and downloaded it randomly like me. So I guess I just got kinda lucky. Unfortunately she only visits Tokyo sporadically so I won't be seeing her again any time soon I guess.
Met another girl and we had sex in a hotel but then brought up payment, promised it's a one time thing for an STD test. She was a trooper though and tbh asking me to meet next to a hotel should've made it obvious to me it's "That kinda thing" so I considered it far and gave her a donation. Then she sent me a message about meeting again and I happily agreed but made clear i'm not looking to p2p thing and she stopped replying so I guess that was that.
It's kinda shitty and slow to user and they want 1man a month to use so I wouldn't recommend this app unless you want to try SD. I don't , so I will delete this app once my 1 month sub is over. I got my value out of it I guess.

HelloTalk - a "non-dating" app. Used for language exchange and pretty popular in Asia. Has gotten a reputation for being used for "other purposes", The helloTalk team actively knows about this and claims to ban those who use it for dating but clearly they are just faking it cause they kept adding "dating features" ( You don't need an age, location, and gender filter in a language learning app), and increased their sub for premium features like those filters and also who views your profile.
The app works kinda like a social media and you can actively DM people. This is important because combined with the above feature you can basically get a curated list of girls, shoot them a message, and then see what happens. empty guy profiles without pictures or "Posts" on your timeline will likely be met with less than 10% response rate, but thats why you can shotgun it. Please note every girl gets thousands of messages because of it and likely won't reply to you or stop at any given point.
Also since this isn't a dating app you have to slowly build up trust and a mutual feeling bonding before you can create any dating context but this of course depends on your vibe with the girl. I only bedded one girl here first time and it was because I didn't plan to, we just got shitfaced drunk and shit happened. Usually 2nd or 3rd time worked.
HelloTalk helped me find quality girls (my first Japanese GF was from there!) , but its a time investment both into your profile and into building trust. The fact it's not a dating site is also very nice for avoiding a suspicious atmosphere. Honestly if you're considering a long term relationship it's not a bad app for this.
Just please remember it's not a dating app, don't get surprised if your attach rate is very low or it ends up a dud (I just wanted a language buddy!) . It's not a dating app, you can't complain it didn't end up with a hookup or relationship.

Now for numbers!

a rough split of the amounts I got per app:
Bumble - 30 girls
Badoo - 0 girls
Tinder - 6 girls
OKCupid - 1 girl
PJ - 2 girls
HelloTalk - 7 girls
The rest of the girls I had were off-app experiences.

I have calculated my attach rate (girls who I met and ended in bed with - to matches) to other apps and found the following findings:
Bumble - 1 to 15
Tinder - 1 to 32
Badoo - 1 to 25
OKCupid - 1 to 60
PJ - 1 to 20
HelloTalk - 1 to 40

Here's a few tips I have for OLD:

Don't get attached.

Seriously. Don't. Not even if you are talking on the app for days. Not even if you met the girl. Not even if you had sex. Not even if you started dating for a bit. Don't.
It's this kind of world. When a girl goes out into real life, and gets nampa'd, there's usually a couple men who hit on her. If it's a busy day, and she's super hot, maybe even a dozen. But it will take more balls than sending unsolicited requests on an app. So it filters out most men.
Then she downloads an app and she gets suitors by the thousands. This either ridiculously inflates the girl's ego or outright intimidates her. Either way, you match with her, you are treated suspiciously and with her minimum allowable attention span. Such is OLD.
So if at any point she decides to cut you off, unless you did something really weird or creepy, It's probably not your fault. It's not that you did something bad, it's just that she has her own priorities/someone did something better/She got bored or overwhelmed. I asked sometimes to see girls' side of the app from girls I have been with. They basically have endless lists of hot guys begging for attention.
When I ask why me, some said "you have a cute smile/ you can carry conversation well/ you seemed like a nice decent guy". And many just said "Nanto naku (Just because)/ Because you were the first guy I matched/ I just picked randomly".

In other words, even your success on an app is often not thanks to you but rather pure RNG. So don't get depressed about failing. It's the same. Getting a loyal GF from dating apps is harder than a hookup IMO.

Which leads me to my second tip:

Don't measure yourself by how you are valued on apps.

I know more than a share fair of guys who I personally think look better, talk better, and are more successful than me. And they do awful on apps.
Dating apps, for the many reasons I mentioned, are a completely different game than real life approach. You need to know how to play it right.
Guys who are amazing at life and interesting but are below 5"10 , or not from X country, or have beard/ tattoos/ bald, so girls filter them out from the get go.
Are not great texters, or don't know how to create interesting bios.
They get screwed over by the ELO which creates a downward cycle unless they pay their way out of it.
This does not mean you are not attractive or interesting. I had more success than them from apps but they pick up a girl at a bar and club easy and I can say I only ever picked up 2 slags from a bar I was honestly regretful already as I was boarding the shuuden with them, and NEVER felt comfortable in a club and found picking up club girls downright impossible for myself.
Different people feel comfortable at different kinds of scenarios. This does not reflect on you as a person, you only need to compare yourself to, well, yourself. If dating apps prove depressing and uncomfortable for you, and you enjoy the experience of locking eyes with a stranger and striking up interesting conversation, by all means, stick to that. I personally have gotten tired of apps myself and I do want to enjoy bar and clubbing more but I know it's not my scene so I don't feel bad about not bringing a girl home every time I go clubbing, so neither should you feel bad about OLD if it's not immediately popping for you.

This has been my experience with OLD. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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Wow! Your post is almost a doctoral thesis. Just adding 10 cents to future research, Coffee Meets Baggie dating app works quite well here.

Moved to Tokyo recently and oh my god Tinder is so bad here. I had used it in a much smaller city for a few years and had a pretty good success rate. But in Tokyo, the ratio of scam matches to legitimate matches is probably around 3:1, if not more. I'm this close to uninstalling it.

Joe2017 said:

Wow! Your post is almost a doctoral thesis. Just adding 10 cents to future research, Coffee Meets Baggie dating app works quite well here.

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Yeah haha I guess that would not be far from it.

Had a couple free hours while at a Starbucks so decided to help out abit from my own 2cents. And thanks for the CmB tip, can you share your experiences?

posermodern said:

Moved to Tokyo recently and oh my god Tinder is so bad here. I had used it in a much smaller city for a few years and had a pretty good success rate. But in Tokyo, the ratio of scam matches to legitimate matches is probably around 3:1, if not more. I'm this close to uninstalling it.

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It's really trash. I tried boosting a few days ago cause I had one boost left and out of 8 likes, 7 were just scams.

Scam accounts always point you to Twitter ( I always write won't go to their Twitter, so I know for certain they don't read), are too hot to be on Tinder, and use account names that don't sound like something a Japanese girl would use.

At this point I gotta wonder what kind of idiot falls for these.

TohouAsura said:

And thanks for the CmB tip, can you share your experiences?

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Thanks to you for sharing your experiences in detail! To make the story short, I registered and made it clear in my profile that I was looking exclusively for an NSA relationship. I exchanged messages with about 10 Japanese women (between 32 and 44 years old), with 7 I had a dining date, with 4 I went out and to bed quite a few times –one was a sex bomb that liked to play hard in public places and of course I pleased her, funny but too risky to do it for a long time–. I keep meeting regularly to 2 of them. According to my experience and considering my NSA statement, I would say that C&B is a place to meet women over 30y, divorced or had a long relationship before, who are looking for someone for a kind of stable relationship, not necessarily marriage, but a mix of romance and sex.

Joe2017 said:

Thanks to you for sharing your experiences in detail! To make the story short, I registered and made it clear in my profile that I was looking exclusively for an NSA relationship. I exchanged messages with about 10 Japanese women (between 32 and 44 years old), with 7 I had a dining date, with 4 I went out and to bed quite a few times –one was a sex bomb that liked to play hard in public places and of course I pleased her, funny but too risky to do it for a long time–. I keep meeting regularly to 2 of them. According to my experience and considering my NSA statement, I would say that C&B is a place to meet women over 30y, divorced or had a long relationship before, who are looking for someone for a kind of stable relationship, not necessarily marriage, but a mix of romance and sex.

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Thanks for your experience sharing!

I see. I'm mostly aiming for girls around my age atm as I am actually considering a proper relationship atm but I will remember this for if and when I feel cougar hunting.


For now though I really want to work on my day and bar game. If anyone here found my tips useful and wants to help me out with Nampa I'd appreciate the help

TohouAsura said:

Thanks for your experience sharing!

I see. I'm mostly aiming for girls around my age atm as I am actually considering a proper relationship atm but I will remember this for if and when I feel cougar hunting.


For now though I really want to work on my day and bar game. If anyone here found my tips useful and wants to help me out with Nampa I'd appreciate the help

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as far as I'm concerned the best place for a proper relationship is in the friend cercle. bars and apps suit short term relationships better.

e-smile said:

as far as I'm concerned the best place for a proper relationship is in the friend cercle. bars and apps suit short term relationships better.

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I don't disagree but seeing as my list of friends has become ever dwindled thanks to the power of Covid, I am not in a position to bargain for that.

TohouAsura said:

I don't disagree but seeing as my list of friends has become ever dwindled thanks to the power of Covid, I am not in a position to bargain for that.

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it is indeed harder to have group activities nowadays

fonto12 said:

Which app has been most successful for you?

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I’ve had great success with badoo and you can get a lot done in free membership mode. A lot of women are looking for relationships on there, so that can take some time to land the right ones. I was clear on my objective by the first meeting: I don’t want a relationship and interested in a sex friend.
I’ve met 6 over the past year and had sex with all of them on the first meeting. I’ve met all of them multiple times, so it’s been keeping me busy.

thegreek said:

Yes the situation is definitely fluid. Things get better in one app and worse in another then change again.

What sites do you mean?

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Has anyone had any successful meetings on digicafe since these posts of a few years ago? I am curious as I checked it out and want to know if anyone was successful and if so, how much patience I need with digicafe.

Thanks for sharing-unfortunately, I had a bad experience with C&B . The only person I was matched up with wanted to go to the Park Hyatt grill for our first meetup. I told her I would be happy to go if we split the bill, and as expected, she said no interest .

Joe2017 said:

Thanks to you for sharing your experiences in detail! To make the story short, I registered and made it clear in my profile that I was looking exclusively for an NSA relationship. I exchanged messages with about 10 Japanese women (between 32 and 44 years old), with 7 I had a dining date, with 4 I went out and to bed quite a few times –one was a sex bomb that liked to play hard in public places and of course I pleased her, funny but too risky to do it for a long time–. I keep meeting regularly to 2 of them. According to my experience and considering my NSA statement, I would say that C&B is a place to meet women over 30y, divorced or had a long relationship before, who are looking for someone for a kind of stable relationship, not necessarily marriage, but a mix of romance and sex.

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Donquijote said:

Thanks for sharing-unfortunately, I had a bad experience with C&B . The only person I was matched up with wanted to go to the Park Hyatt grill for our first meetup. I told her I would be happy to go if we split the bill, and as expected, she said no interest .

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She was looking for a good bank account, not a partner. Better to realize it earlier.
It has been quite a while since my post. I still see the two women regularly and one sporadically. Perhaps with time and COVID the profile of women in the App has changed. Good luck!

Donquijote said:

Thanks for sharing-unfortunately, I had a bad experience with C&B . The only person I was matched up with wanted to go to the Park Hyatt grill for our first meetup. I told her I would be happy to go if we split the bill, and as expected, she said no interest .

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It's funny. I once went to have lunch to Park Hyatt grill and most of the guest except us were young cute girls with old men. That confirms my theory that it is a hotspot for SB.