Good Adult Jokes

:eek:

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Wife: Hi, honey! That coronavirus thing is getting serious. Please wear your mask, especially when you’re out of the hotel for meetings.

Hubby: Hi, honey! No worries. I’ve cut down the number of my meetings. I’ve also been dining in my room a lot. Here’s a picture of lunch today. Love you. Miss you.
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Wife: Hi, honey! That coronavirus thing is getting serious. Please wear your mask, especially when you’re out of the hotel for meetings.

Hubby: Hi, honey! No worries. I’ve cut down the number of my meetings. I’ve also been dining in my room a lot. Here’s a picture of lunch today. Love you. Miss you.
View attachment 13764

Looks like he is dining on her instead, lol.
 
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His noodle seems pretty soft.

I only see 3 chicks in there.

New Frequently eating noodles during a prolonged home self-quarantine can cause mild hallucinations.

Nice photo! I think I'll just insert while still warm, halha. Just kidding...or am I?? I may just have my SB come over after washing hands and taking a soapy bath. Maybe she can be my nurse for the day and take care of my needs.
 
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
 
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Just read this one in the comments section of an article about how viagara may help those with covid-19.

Reminds me of the story about a grandfather visiting his grandson. He saw the Viagra in the medicine cabinet and asked his grandson if he could try one, since he had never done so before. The grandson said that they are quite powerful and very expensive. The grandfather asked "How expensive? The younger man replied "$10 a pill." The grandfather said "No problem, I'll give you the money ". The next morning when the young man saw $110 siting on the table he said "The pills were only $10. Why is there so much more there?" The grandfather replied "The extra $100 is from your grandmother."