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How to handle falling for your SB?

no talk about money.. its like we're bf/gf but not official yet?
Are you really her SD to her?
Why does she need a SD if she can float 20k? Something doesn't add up.
I'm with @UnicornHunter on this.
Something doesn't smell right here.
Smells like he’s got a girlfriend. Offering your $20k nest egg to a random SD doesn’t make sense. Offering to a boyfriend, is still stupid, but makes more sense.
 
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Are you really her SD to her?


Smells like he’s got a girlfriend. Offering your $20k nest egg to a random SD doesn’t make sense. Offering to a boyfriend, is still stupid, but makes more sense.
heh, i just dunno if ima ever be able to completely overlook the fact she was a SB, thus maybe still trying to come up off me somehow.. if not $ wise, maybe a greencard? :x
 
hi, new here, but was really interested in this thread and read all of it through, and wanted to post up my case, and see about getting some input from you guys..

so i met this gal on seeking, and we ended up meeting up for dinner, and getting along super well.. ended up going to a bar.. ended up sharing a kiss the first date, and i dropped her home.. after arriving home, we texted back and forth, and we kinda never got to talking about money.. we end up going on a few more dates, and then finally she brings up financial stability being one of the things shes worried for, and gets depressed about, so i decide to send her 2500$ from one day of gambling winnings for her to hold on to hopefully not be depressed.. we continue dating, and have sex obviously.. she ends up staying with me weeks at a time, and everything is cool.. no talk about money.. its like we're bf/gf but not official yet? she sometimes will mention her previous sd's in conversations, and how she doesn't treat me the same as them, and etc etc..

we go shopping and i spend a thousand on her.. so.. now.. i'm kinda confused what we are now.. shes 10yrs younger than me, but i guess being 34, i'm a pretty young sd? maybe more hip than her previous? someone shes not embarrassed to be around? iono.. i'm kinda lost now.. we're about 2-3 months into it now.. and have i totally lost myself in this relationship? is this a real relationship? i'm confused.. she'll stay with me 3-4days in a row, and often times we wont even have sex, then there's times we'll 2-3 times in one sitting.. i spent new years with some of her gf's friends.. and she's met even one of my friends.. shes japanese fob, and i'm chinese abc.. if that maybe matters? thoughts and questions welcome.. i dunno what we're doing.. and if it's ok.. or if i'm in the right forum to be asking about this..

You should put your question in reddit's sugar lifestyle forum.
 
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heh, i just dunno if ima ever be able to completely overlook the fact she was a SB, thus maybe still trying to come up off me somehow.. if not $ wise, maybe a greencard? :x
If you can't overlook some things that seem questionable to you.........From what you've posted I think it's GF mode until something more "stable" shows up.
 
heh, i just dunno if ima ever be able to completely overlook the fact she was a SB, thus maybe still trying to come up off me somehow.. if not $ wise, maybe a greencard? :x
To be honest it doesn’t sound like she was ever your SB. The fact you didn’t discuss/provide financials and expectations at the beginning sounds more like traditional dating. She doesn’t sound like she’s out for what she can get considering everything you’ve mentioned. Maybe time to have a discussion about boundaries and what you want and also what you are willing to provide. Should clear things up.
 
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Also I think in these cases we tend to idealize (even idolize) the girl too much
I know this is an old thread, but this was very well said Frenchy. Seeking Arrangements has personally just resulted in too much confusion and heartbreak for me - I'd like to think I've learned my lesson by now but quite frankly, a lot of women there are just noobs who still have the mentality of the „civilian" traditional dating game which is why it just doesn't work. Incompatible. I get it - it's tough to break out of that „civilian" mindset since that's the only game they've been exposed to most of their lives when it comes to the quest of love. Those are just the rules they're most familiar with; to be honest, I'm not good at their game either which is why I find myself posting here.

It's a matter of preference: I prefer my game and they prefer theirs. No one is right or wrong. Their game just doesn't work for me and who knows, maybe our game just doesn't work for them. What I will say however is that there are plenty of young, attractive, very successful escorts who have also given up on traditional dating (i.e: tinder) even though they could easily succeed there. They feel completely fulfilled with their loving clients and adventures that come with the job and I don't blame them for switching over in the slightest. I much prefer it on this side of the playing field as well.
 
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I know this is an old thread, but this was very well said Frenchy. Seeking Arrangements has personally just resulted in too much confusion and heartbreak for me - I'd like to think I've learned my lesson by now but quite frankly, a lot of women there are just noobs who still have the mentality of the „civilian" traditional dating game which is why it just doesn't work. Incompatible. I get it - it's tough to break out of that „civilian" mindset since that's the only game they've been exposed to most of their lives when it comes to the quest of love. Those are just the rules they're most familiar with; to be honest, I'm not good at their game either which is why I find myself posting here.

It's a matter of preference: I prefer my game and they prefer theirs. No one is right or wrong. Their game just doesn't work for me and who knows, maybe our game just doesn't work for them. What I will say however is that there are plenty of young, attractive, very successful escorts who have also given up on traditional dating (i.e: tinder) even though they could easily succeed there. They feel completely fulfilled with their loving clients and adventures that come with the job and I don't blame them for switching over in the slightest. I much prefer it on this side of the playing field as well.

thanks. Old thread indeed and a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since then... I understand your point of view, I also had a real escort as kind of- SB for a while and it was great. She’s still someone I respect a lot and text with from time to time. There was not all the drama and frustrations that are discussed here. In fact she was the one consoling me when I was a nervous wreck due to such drama...

But eventually I found a true SB which is really like a true GF now , so I went the opposite direction of the one you suggested. Just luck really
 
thanks. Old thread indeed and a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since then... I understand your point of view, I also had a real escort as kind of- SB for a while and it was great. She’s still someone I respect a lot and text with from time to time. There was not all the drama and frustrations that are discussed here. In fact she was the one consoling me when I was a nervous wreck due to such drama...

But eventually I found a true SB which is really like a true GF now , so I went the opposite direction of the one you suggested. Just luck really
Sounds to me you didn't just get lucky once with your current SB, you are also lucky in the sense that you developed a great, loving friendship with a very special lady (the escort you mentioned). I'm new here and have spent the past few days reading a lot of old threads. Always enjoy hearing what you have to say. Glad you're still here kicking it with us happily - you deserve all the best. :)

Maybe one day when I've saved a bit more I'll find my ideal dream girl on Seeking Arrangements, ask if she'd be up for a week trip to Hawaii, and spend 7 days together soaking in the sun on a beach & fucking each other's brains out like rabbits. Not sure if most girls today would be into that, but it definitely sounds like a good deal to me lol - what happens in Honolulu, stays in Honolulu. (y)
 
This is the thread why sugar dating is so amazing. Like Icarus (spelling?), when you fly too close to the sun, you will get burnt and crash. This is why we, as sugar daddy's play this game. It can be unbelievably satisfying to find someone that will offer an NSA relationship but with all the goodies. This is your goal in my opinion. Don't settle for less, it is the same feeling when you are racing a car 200-300kms per hour around fuji race course in the hopes you don't wipe out. Embrace it as a sugar daddy and enjoy its fruits.
 
Hey Everyone. Just thought I check in here. I have not been to Japan recently (damn Covid). So no mongering adventures to report. I really miss Tokyo. Whats taking so long for everyone to get the vaccine there?

I am still sugar dating the same SB that I posted about two years ago. We been dating since Dec 2018. And Im glad because it would have been really boring with all the covid travel restrictions.
Anyway, its still definitely a sugar relationship like once a week. But we I also see each other least once or twice a week where we just hang out and do stuff together (ie hiking, eating, going to the beach/park). Feels like we are like close friends now. All I know is that Im really gonna be sad when it ends one day.
 
The one thing I have noticed amongst my Japanese CXO level colleagues is if you do sugar dating and fall in love with the girl, then you are doing it wrong. The sugar dating is a wall that is put up as an unspoken rule with the girl to protect our personal life, aka assets. If you are scraping by financially and in the sugar world here, you need to get out. It is not for you. Sugar dating is ALWAYS a business transaction to have fun by protecting your assets. If you think otherwise, then you are a FOOL.
 
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The one thing I have noticed amongst my Japanese CXO level colleagues is if you do sugar dating and fall in love with the girl, then you are doing it wrong. The sugar dating is a wall that is put up as an unspoken rule with the girl to protect our personal life, aka assets. If you are scraping by financially and in the sugar world here, you need to get out. It is not for you. Sugar dating is ALWAYS a business transaction to have fun by protecting your assets. If you think otherwise, then you are a FOOL.

ah ah, you really are a know-it-all it seems…
Well until the recent one which is incredible value I didn’t really think I was “protecting my assets” in the sugar bowl, to be honest.
 
The one thing I have noticed amongst my Japanese CXO level colleagues is if you do sugar dating and fall in love with the girl, then you are doing it wrong. The sugar dating is a wall that is put up as an unspoken rule with the girl to protect our personal life, aka assets. If you are scraping by financially and in the sugar world here, you need to get out. It is not for you. Sugar dating is ALWAYS a business transaction to have fun by protecting your assets. If you think otherwise, then you are a FOOL.
All of that is very valid. In my experience, some SBs also develop a sentimental connection and a trusting relationship is established. It is an intermediate relationship between a WG and a GF. Yes, the center of the relationship is money, but sometimes there can be something more, that is the sugar coating. It can be delicious if you control it, or become a honey trap.
 
ah ah, you really are a know-it-all it seems…
Well until the recent one which is incredible value I didn’t really think I was “protecting my assets” in the sugar bowl, to be honest.

Sorry All. I haven't been able to reply here. Look, I am not trying to magnetize negative feelings here. I am trying to help. I am heavily into sugar dating since 2010 here in Asia and N.America.

Sugar dating is paramount if you are married with a family. Keeping the unspoken wall between your SB and your personal/professional life is key. It can get really ugly if things get too close and crap hits the fan. Yes, I have seen it happen with a CIO in the financial industry here and it is super crazy. He even had a kid with that woman.

I don't know if people realize, both men and women, but sugar dating is never about the money. It is always about the feeling and enjoyment of being together during both your needs of wanting some kind of relationship. You need to compartmentalize where you feel some deficiency in your relationships and seek to fill those voids by exchanging money. It is that simple. If you go down that ideology, then sugar dating is better than any regular dating and even p4p as it is a regular source of clean and fun entertainment.
 
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I have seen it happen with a CIO in the financial industry here and it is super crazy. He even had a kid with that woman.
That woman is a Sugar Wife! I've met some of those C-level guys. When they reach their 60's, they retire from the company and no longer have to keep the social standards, they divorce to enjoy life with their mistress and playing golf. Flights to Hawaii were full of these couples before Covid-19.
 
Are you the same Shammykun who just wrote one or two posts above that it’s purely a business transaction? o_O

You make it sound like you don't do your work for the warm feeling inside your heart but for the money instead? o_O
 
I did not fall for an SB so much as I was just upset with the way she let me go. No final meeting, and not even a call. I got my pink slip via text message. We were on the outs so the separation is no big deal, but FFS a phone call is not too much to ask for. Maybe it's a generational thing. Anyway I've gone on to something better.
 
338FCAB3-53BB-4835-AB42-72767DE489BA.jpeg


Can’t say I “fell” for this one…. But it’s been 3 years since I met my little Miss Sunshine , and nearly 2 years since we are exclusive (gasp!)
Soon I will be an old moralizing fart telling members here how to quit this lifestyle of sin and misery and find the light :D
[bragging stops here - I still pay her after all]
 
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Can’t say I “fell” for this one…. But it’s been 3 years since I met my little Miss Sunshine , and nearly 2 years since we are exclusive (gasp!)
Soon I will be an old moralizing fart telling members here how to quit this lifestyle of sin and misery and find the light :D
[bragging stops here - I still pay her after all]

Seems there is something blocking our view. Please retake the photo, but without any obstructions!
 
I don’t think there is a standard range but above all I don’t think a SB for which it is the only job (so to speak) would be honest if she agrees to it. Sorry can’t answer more precisely. Maybe the minimum would be 300k a month?

In our case it just happened over time organically, without expectation for it, and because she has a real job and a family to keep her busy otherwise. She’s not into the number game. On my side, it happened because she’s quite frankly the best, at half the price of others , and a bit ashamed to say but already exhausting me in bed so why bother looking elsewhere…
 
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..a bit ashamed to say but already exhausting me in bed…

Aww, you poor thing.

FWIW, I cannot see myself ever paying a sugar to be exclusive. There is no guarantee that they will. Sure, they can say “you are the only one for me” but you never can be sure.
 
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