Good Adult Jokes

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Here’s another oldie.

The Pharmacist

Peter, a talkative lad, was invited by his hot new girlfriend to a family dinner at home.

On his way to their place, he stops by a small neighbourhood pharmacy to buy some necessary supplies.

“Hello, could you give me condom?,” he asks the pharmacist over the counter. “I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think I may have a chance tonight.”

The pharmacist smiles and gives him a packet of condom.

After paying, Peter was on his way out but decides to return to the counter.

"Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is super cute,” says Peter. “Whenever I see here, she always crosses her legs in a provocative manner. I feel like I might get lucky with her, too.”

Peter pays the pharmacist, as he receives another packet of condom.

But as soon as he turns to the door, Peter goes back to buy a three-pack box of condoms.

"I may need more because my girlfriend's mom is quite the MILF,” says Peter. “Whenever her mom sees me, she always makes eye contact. I think she’s expecting me to make a move."

At the dinner table, Peter sits with his girlfriend on the left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him.

As soon as the dad walks in, Peter quickly lowers his head and starts to pray.

"Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all that You've given us,” he says.

Peter was still praying after 10 minutes. "Thank you Lord for your kindness …” he says.

Another minutes go by, and Peter is still praying. His head is still down, very close to the table.

The family members look at each other, as Peter continues his prayer.

“I didn't know you were so religious, Peter,” his girlfriend says in a hush tone.

Peter, with his head still on the table, replies, “I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!”
 
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What’s in a name

A sexy and elegantly dressed young lady arrives at a party in a five-star hotel.

She immediately scans the room and spots an attractive man in a dark suit standing alone in a corner.

She walks towards the man and gives him a come-hither smile.

“Hello,” she says. “My name is Carmen.”

“Good to meet you, Carmen,” he replies. “That’s such a beautiful name your parents gave you.”

“Well, they didn’t,” she says. “I chose to go by that name since university because it represents the things I enjoy the most: cars and men. Carmen.”

“Brilliant,” the man says.

“By the way, what’s your name?” she asks.

The man smiles and says, “It’s Titsandgolf. B.J. Titsandgolf.”

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This turned out totally different than i was thinking.

Not that I would be familiar with the starting scene. Not like at all.

 
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IMHO, there are only two categories: nice boobs, or ugly boobs.
 
Joe2017 said:
IMHO, there are only two categories: nice boobs, or ugly boobs.
Click to expand...

I beg to differ. There are boobs I have seen* and there are boobs that I want to see**.

* And want to see again

** For the first time

Rodney agrees with me.
Sudsy said:
This was a fantastic start to my day.

Click to expand...

 
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