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Dating a much younger woman in Japan

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PenFigher

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I posted something in TAG earlier about sleeping with my Japanese teacher. We’ll, she told me that she probably shouldn’t teach me anymore but asked if we could maybe go on a date together. She is a lot younger than I am (a bit over a decade) and I haven’t anybody around that age, let alone a Japanese girl (ok half Japanese but she grew up here). I am super happy she took charge of the situation because I am not sure I would’ve asked her out (I feel like I’m totally out of her league).

This is all well and good, but I am also dating around (I’ve been dating a couple of Chinese girls on and off since June), so I am now on a bit of a situation where I am dating two girls (no mention of exclusivity with either st this point).

My question is a bit more a cultural one because I am a barbarian who doesn’t quite understand Japanese dating culture yet. I know there is no one-size-fits-alll answer, but generally, is there a cultural expectation of exclusivity when starting to date here? I’d ask my date, but she might no longer be my date if I do.
 
PenFigher said:
I posted something in TAG earlier about sleeping with my Japanese teacher. We’ll, she told me that she probably shouldn’t teach me anymore but asked if we could maybe go on a date together. She is a lot younger than I am (a bit over a decade) and I haven’t anybody around that age, let alone a Japanese girl (ok half Japanese but she grew up here). I am super happy she took charge of the situation because I am not sure I would’ve asked her out (I feel like I’m totally out of her league).

This is all well and good, but I am also dating around (I’ve been dating a couple of Chinese girls on and off since June), so I am now on a bit of a situation where I am dating two girls (no mention of exclusivity with either st this point).

My question is a bit more a cultural one because I am a barbarian who doesn’t quite understand Japanese dating culture yet. I know there is no one-size-fits-alll answer, but generally, is there a cultural expectation of exclusivity when starting to date here? I’d ask my date, but she might no longer be my date if I do.
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Ask her if it’s okay. If she says no, let her go and fuck hotter girls.

Unless you want to be serious, don’t pussyfoot and just be good at NOT being serious.
 
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Requiemmorrow said:
Ask her if it’s okay. If she says no, let her go and fuck hotter girls.

Unless you want to be serious, don’t pussyfoot and just be good at NOT being serious.
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She’s the hotter one, I think I might have to drop the Chinese girls in favour of the prettier Japanese one. Asking her before we’ve gone on a first date might just be a deal breaker, no?

I appreciate you comment about just being hondt, I preach that all the time, I should probably practice it.
 
PenFigher said:
She’s the hotter one, I think I might have to drop the Chinese girls in favour of the prettier Japanese one. Asking her before we’ve gone on a first date might just be a deal breaker, no?

I appreciate you comment about just being hondt, I preach that all the time, I should probably practice it.
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Whether or not she is the hotter one of the two is actually irrelevant. I am sure both of them are wonderful women. Perhaps teacher lady is even a perfect babe. But...there are other perfect babes...maybe even more perfecter babes than her. Furthermore, these perfecter women could very well be perfectly perfecter with you fucking other women and may even perfectly join you. Imagine how much more awesome that would be than your original plan.

So yeah...figuring this out before going on the first date is actually the best thing you can do, because the last thing you want to do is lose access to both of them because you were trying to be serious when it was better off from the get go to play the way you want.
 
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Oh come on the dating scene is good here, it’s been kind to me, so have all these adult services, well, at least the ones that allow me in. I don’t think it’s super hard to find someone who can make you super hard in Tokyo.

Also don’t mistake my bad choices for luck, I am dating girls I met under highly questionnante circumstances (Chinese massage parlours). There is a chance I am seen as a fast track to a new passport.
 
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Requiemmorrow said:
Whether or not she is the hotter one of the two is actually irrelevant. I am sure both of them are wonderful women. Perhaps teacher lady is even a perfect babe. But...there are other perfect babes...maybe even more perfecter babes than her. Furthermore, these perfecter women could very well be perfectly perfecter with you fucking other women and may even perfectly join you. Imagine how much more awesome that would be than your original plan.

So yeah...figuring this out before going on the first date is actually the best thing you can do, because the last thing you want to do is lose access to both of them because you were trying to be serious when it was better off from the get go to play the way you want.
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Very wise words indeed. Maybe I am overcomplicating this and I should tell all three I’m not exclusive and see which way this could go. It is playing the odds, who knows?

I might not know Japanese culture, but I know Chinese culture intimately. There is a 40% chance, however, that madame Sichuan will bring violence to my life, Chinese meat cleaver levels of violence. I need to evaluate breakup vs honestly here, I appreciate my functional appendages.
 
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Quick update: my teacher is no longer my teacher or girlfriend, we broke it off naturally. There was no chat about exclusivity, we just have nothing in common except for a functional set of genitals.

I told my Sichuanese girlfriend I didn’t plan exclusivity expecting bodily damage and none came. We are still fucking, a lot… more than before I told her. That is nice, I’m going to enjoy the time I have with her.

I keep pursing the perfect relationship and to me it’s one with no exclusivity. I don’t think I can can’t handle living a life where exclusivity leads to a no-sex situation, boredom, or worse, resentment (okay, I can be a lot of handle, she might feel resentment before I do).
 
Sorry to hear it didn't work out. It was interesting to follow your story. But, I'm glad you have backups to continue with :)
 
Why is there always a bulldozer running in the background? Might be construction.......yeah, that's it. Construction.
 
designer08 said:
Sorry to hear it didn't work out. It was interesting to follow your story. But, I'm glad you have backups to continue with :)
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No that worked out nicely things come and go, no pain in not breaking up, just have to find a tutor again, maybe a dude this time, that’s what others suggested as a likely better fit for learning.
 
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PenFigher said:
No that worked out nicely things come and go, no pain in not breaking up, just have to find a tutor again, maybe a dude this time, that’s what others suggested as a likely better fit for learning.
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If it's a dude you can save money on strap-ons.
 
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PenFigher said:
Quick update: my teacher is no longer my teacher or girlfriend, we broke it off naturally. There was no chat about exclusivity, we just have nothing in common except for a functional set of genitals.

I told my Sichuanese girlfriend I didn’t plan exclusivity expecting bodily damage and none came. We are still fucking, a lot… more than before I told her. That is nice, I’m going to enjoy the time I have with her.

I keep pursing the perfect relationship and to me it’s one with no exclusivity. I don’t think I can can’t handle living a life where exclusivity leads to a no-sex situation, boredom, or worse, resentment (okay, I can be a lot of handle, she might feel resentment before I do).
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I’m in this boat at the moment and a man in that is only 29… it’s very tough
 
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