Sinapse
On the streets
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2015
- Messages
- 1,536
- Reaction score
- 2,756
These girls have the power to turn the nicest guy into a hatred factory thanks to their constant lies and betrayals right in your face.
Women only have the power over you that you give them. She can't turn you into a hatred factory if you don't let her. To me your story sounds like a case of you not establishing boundaries and cutting someone out of your life when you should have. The second you determine a woman doesn't live up to your standards of conduct, let her go without any anger. Simply send her on her way with a smile and a wish of "best luck." If you let her continue to be in your life and cross your boundaries, it is toxic for you, and will breed hate, yes. But don't blame the girl for this if you let her be in your life this whole time.. it's nobody's fault but your own.
Maybe I've been in Japan way too long but the term "ビッチ" (bitch) is commonly used by the Japanese to describe women with a mean personality. In that case the term isn't related to anything sexual.
Maybe you haven't been in Japan long enough, because ビッチ actually means "slut" in Japanese. In the West/English bitch means as you described, a unpleasant or mean woman, but perhaps more accurately it usually means "Woman who isn't having sex with me and/or showed strength rather than submission and I'm angry about it" as opposed to "slut" which means "woman who has sex with me, and other men, and I don't like the other men part." Basically, the two insults directed at women seem to usually be relating directly to their propensity to have sex with and incite jealousy/anger in the speaker of the insult. Often (always?) insulting someone says more about the insulter than the insulted.
I know plenty of guys who went out with someone who couldn't control their emotions, temper, or have restraint. Each guy thought they could control her (as in make her feel better), but each attack just always escalated. I understand.
One thing I've learned the hard way is that you should just let people go rather than try to "help them" for their chronic personality issues, especially if they are women who are jumping serially from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. The urge to help is strong, but in the words of Admiral Akbar "It's a trap!" Personality disorders are largely there to stay.. even therapists have a really difficult time with them. You most definitely should aggressively (but peacefully and non-angrily) cut people out of your life who you suspect or know to be bringing negativity into your life and crossing your personal boundaries. Be the benevolent but firm ruler of your kingdom, and you'll attract high quality people into your life and keep out the people who cause problems.
I hurt her only by imagination (virtually) which greatly helps avoiding doing things in the real world.
I'm not sure about this..
I'm reminded of the Buddhist maxim
"You are not punished for your anger, but by your anger."