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Your Japanese Is Too Good

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Vulkan

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"Your japanese is too good, that's why you're single"
I've heard that many many times over the years, from both japanese female friend and foreigners. Once i've even been told that my japanese was so good that it made me look shady. Some would argue that i should fake a bit that i don't understand japanese to use it ar my advantage. Some say that it makes foreigner look cuter or that being too proficient in Japanese makes me look like someone independent who doesn't need to be taken care of by women. The type that can do anything by himself. I remember a girl that was showing interest in me at la feria in 2009 instantly switched when i tried to converse with her in japanese.
While i agree that broken Japanese is helpful in Roppongi style pickup, because it matches the expectations of the women there, i am a bit lost. Shyness and self consciousness are definitely the buggest contributors to my situation i am a bit confused by this.


What do you think and what is your experience?
 
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No offense, but I highly doubt it's that good.

Why do I think that? You were in Roppongi. (n)
 
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I somehow knew that you were going to troll this thread. Surprised that you havent posted one of those extracts of movies that you have might havent even watched and use only as a palliative to your lack of commynication and reflexion skills . i am asking based on what i said above. If you have nothing of value to add (as usual) just refrain from posting here.
 
Emma-Emerio said:
Most Japanese seem to believe that their language is so incredibly advanced that it's near impossible to learn perfectly, and many of them become stunned and perhaps somewhat intimidated when a foreigner is fluent. .
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I definitely agree with this. The intimidation is fading away when you get a chance to deepen the friendship/relationship in my experience and most Japanese friend i have value the fact that i can speak fluently and understand some of the delicate nuances. I was more wondering, and you were right about ONS, if it was a "handicap" to make a good first impression. I noticed that its rarely an issue with women i am introduced to by friends that know me well, unless with thise who want to practice english.
 
Vulkan said:
"Your japanese is too good, that's why you're single"
I've heard that many many times over the years, from both japanese female friend and foreigners. Once i've even been told that my japanese was so good that it made me look shady. Some would argue that i should fake a bit that i don't understand japanese to use it ar my advantage. Some say that it makes foreigner look cuter or that being too proficient in Japanese makes me look like someone independent who doesn't need to be taken care of by women. The type that can do anything by himself. I remember a girl that was showing interest in me at la feria in 2009 instantly switched when i tried to converse with her in japanese.
While i agree that broken Japanese is helpful in Roppongi style pickup, because it matches the expectations of the women there, i am a bit lost. Shyness and self consciousness are definitely the buggest contributors to my situation i am a bit confused by this.


What do you think and what is your experience?
Click to expand...
My opinion is this often comes from Japanese playgirl type women that are scamming on foreign guys, and guys that have fallen prey to it and don't realize they've been tricked.

When a Japanese woman tells you she doesn't like guys that can speak Japanese, it's often a control mechanism. They think that if the foreign guy can speak Japanese, that he doesn't have to put up with her shit and can find other Japanese women. Such women want foreign guys they can more easily abuse, scam, and victimize. A guy fresh off the plane or boat, that knows almost nothing, and who she can easily get over on. Him, and possibly other guys she is seeing behind his back at the same time.
 
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I don`t understand this thread. Maybe it`s because I generally only talk to Japanese in Japanese(I don`t care how broken it is!).

Do most foreign guys normally only talk to Japanese gf`s in English?
Do most only talk in broken Japanese?
 
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Japanese is great, if you can speak it it's helpful. Ultimately it's about communicating well so I'd default to whichever is better - your Japanese or her English.

If a girl doesn't like the fact that you can speak another language she doesn't sound worthwhile anyway, tbh and seems to be fetishizing English as Solong mentioned
 
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Solong said:
My opinion is this often comes from Japanese playgirl type women that are scamming on foreign guys, and guys that have fallen prey to it and don't realize they've been tricked.

When a Japanese woman tells you she doesn't like guys that can speak Japanese, it's often a control mechanism. They think that if the foreign guy can speak Japanese, that he doesn't have to put up with her shit and can find other Japanese women. Such women want foreign guys they can more easily abuse, scam, and victimize. A guy fresh off the plane or boat, that knows almost nothing, and who she can easily get over on. Him, and possibly other guys she is seeing behind his back at the same time.
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While this is possible I haven't experienced anything like that. By the way they won't throw you that in the face blatantly but this kind of women behavior suddenly change as you try to establish an interaction in Japanese.I don't really care about this type of women (which me and my friend used to call eikaiwa bitches) though. The subject was more on the pick-up aspect, as English isn't my primary language and nit as smooth as my japanese these days.
 
okayspot said:
I don`t understand this thread. Maybe it`s because I generally only talk to Japanese in Japanese(I don`t care how broken it is!).

Do most foreign guys normally only talk to Japanese gf`s in English?
Do most only talk in broken Japanese?
Click to expand...

What is that you don't understand? I am talking about situations where Japanese ability is greater than english
 
Vulkan said:
While this is possible I haven't experienced anything like that. By the way they won't throw you that in the face blatantly but this kind of women behavior suddenly change as you try to establish an interaction in Japanese.I don't really care about this type of women (which me and my friend used to call eikaiwa bitches) though. The subject was more on the pick-up aspect, as English isn't my primary language and nit as smooth as my japanese these days.
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Around the American military bases, including such women hanging out a lot in clubs and bars around those areas, this type of gaming Japanese playgirls are well known. After that, some such women can be found in popular clubs and bars which have a heavy concentration of foreign English speakers. So certain clubs and bars in Roppongi, Shibuya, Yokohama, or those around American military base areas.

Such women prey upon guys to run scams on. The lack of Japanese ability by such guys, makes them more dependent on her for doing anything in Japan or for her to more easily game and control the guy. For example, if she is talking dirt about the guy or talking about another guy she is cheating with on the phone with her girlfriends, the foreign guy will have no clue. She can disrespect or make a fool out of him at will, and he not even know. Such women don't like guys that can speak Japanese well, because she can't fully play her games.

Another aspect of this odd language issue, is that foreign guys who can speak Japanese fluently, can be assumed to automatically be playboys. The illogical reasoning goes that if a foreign guy speaks Japanese, then a Japanese woman taught him, and he had many Japanese girlfriends. This is partially based on a long time myth in Japan, dating back to sometime after WW2. It's partially negative propaganda aimed against foreign men to scare Japanese women and discourage international relationships. It discounts and minimizes other reasons for foreign men to want to learn about Japan, like: cultural curiosity, martial arts, business or international companies, linguists, etc...
 
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Vulkan said:
"Your japanese is too good, that's why you're single"
....
What do you think and what is your experience?
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I simply use it as a "shit girl" detector ... and you should do the same :)
The ones who absolutely want to be spoken in English, I don't even approach them.

All the girls I've chosen always thanked me for being able to speak fluent Japanese because they said it made things much easier for them.
 
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The ones who can't speak any English for me = stupidity/lazy and not worth my time. Folks who sleep in school get exactly what they deserve. Just imho.
 
just4fun said:
The ones who can't speak any English for me = stupidity/lazy and not worth my time
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Thats.. a noun and an adjective there together.. the irony is crippling.

In all seriousness though, I find some of the people who are "uneducated" to be incredibly interesting and wise and intelligent in alternative ways, and some of the people who are "educated" to be completely intolerable.
 
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Sinapse said:
Thats.. a noun and an adjective there together.. the irony is crippling.

In all seriousness though, I find some of the people who are "uneducated" to be incredibly interesting and wise and intelligent in alternative ways, and some of the people who are "educated" to be completely intolerable.
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When I need an English teacher for 1500 an hour I'll know who to call.
 
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Never had the 'Japanese too good problem' cuz my Japanese is basic as shit. Just wanted to give a shout out to the girls who've obviously never needed to speak a word of English outside school but desperately trying to remember vocab to connect with you and hold your interest. Big time turn-on. They'll still accuse you of being a playboy tho.
 
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just4fun said:
When I need an English teacher for 1500 an hour I'll know who to call.
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Where did this come from? Are you trying to guess my profession and simultaneously insinuate that you make more money than me? What an upstanding, mature citizen, wise beyond your years and full of restraint and humility!

Honestly I wouldn't have said anything about your grammar mistake (really don't care, and am prone to them myself at times) if you hadn't dismissed the entire population of the world who doesn't speak English as lazy and stupid:rolleyes: but I enjoy holding people to their own (bigoted) standards. Reminds me of this joke posted recently:

john.smith said:
-"How do you call someone speaking 3 languages ?"
-"A trilinguist"
-"Someone who speaks 2 languages ?"
-"A bilinguist"
-"Someone who speaks 1 language ?"
-"An american"
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Sinapse said:
Where did this come from? Are you trying to guess my profession and simultaneously insinuate that you make more money than me? What an upstanding, mature citizen, wise beyond your years and full of restraint and humility!

Honestly I wouldn't have said anything about your grammar mistake (really don't care, and am prone to them myself at times) if you hadn't dismissed the entire population of the world who doesn't speak English as lazy and stupid:rolleyes: but I enjoy holding people to their own (bigoted) standards. Reminds me of this joke posted recently:
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Excuse me........
Exactly! You shouldn't have made any comment whatsoever about a grammar mistake and linking it with uneducated people. All your doing is opening a can of whoopass.

Plus, whatever makes you think I care about the world? Did I say anything about the world? I only care about what's around "me" and the people that are close to "me". If that sounds selfish/childish......ask me if I care.
I can't change anything.......the world is what it is.......I'm not a PC guy at all........never have....never will be. I call it the way I see it.......
Now you think I'm a bigot too.....nice......
You think you're really good at labeling things.......

Jokes......if I want jokes......I'll watch you take a piss......
 
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just4fun said:
Excuse me........
Exactly! You shouldn't have made any comment whatsoever about a grammar mistake and linking it with uneducated people. All your doing is opening a can of whoopass.

Plus, whatever makes you think I care about the world? Did I say anything about the world? I only care about what's around "me" and the people that are close to "me". If that sounds selfish/childish......ask me if I care.
I can't change anything.......the world is what it is.......I'm not a PC guy at all........never have....never will be. I call it the way I see it.......
Now you think I'm a bigot too.....nice......
You think you're really good at labeling things.......

Jokes......if I want jokes......I'll watch you take a piss......
Click to expand...

:LOL: I'll like that
 
Goiter said:
Honestly, I can think of virtually no situation in Japan that doesn't improve with language ability - except perhaps trying to weasel out of a traffic ticket.
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Generally speaking, when you do something stupid or a mistake, you can pretend not understanding the rule. I confess... already did it.
 
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Goiter said:
Honestly, I can think of virtually no situation in Japan that doesn't improve with language ability - except perhaps trying to weasel out of a traffic ticket.
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Oh, that very much improves with language abilities.... just not Japanese langauge abilities.

"Lo siento mucho, pero yo no entiendo japonés. Supongo que usted no será capaz de darme un billete, porque no tienes idea de qué idioma estoy hablando."
 
Goiter said:
Honestly, I can think of virtually no situation in Japan that doesn't improve with language ability - except perhaps trying to weasel out of a traffic ticket.
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If you do not know Japanese, you cannot enjoy to understand her saying "ikuuu, ....ikuuuu, ikuuu, iku,...ik" or ask her "sumata yatte chodai!". Imho, learning a bit kinky Japanese is the best investment if you want to make your sex life more interesting!
 
I should learn some kinky Japanese as well or maybe take a closer look to my 'making out in Japanese' book ;)

I've never really had an issue with the term: 'your [insert language] is too good bla bla'
It is more the opposite. When my my Japanese were quite bad I had guys constantly telling me I should study Japanese more etc. and then ask me the next day if I can speak it now (yeah of course I can study a language like Japanese overnight)
Overall live here really improves once the language skills improve as well just as everywhere in the world where you learn something new.
 
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I never really needed Japanese as a shit detector. The shittiest Japanese women I knew (thankfully not an ex) spoke good English.

Anyway, all Japanese girls other than who I just mentioned have all been thankful I spoke Japanese. As a matter of fact, many hotel health places have accepted me because I speak advanced Japanese (did a study abroad here in high school, university, and living her for nearly 10 years)
 
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