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- Jan 18, 2013
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This has happened to friends and myself a number of times, to the point that it looks to be a pattern. Wanted to warn other foreign guys about it, so they are more informed, and can better decide what to do about it. Now, before I continue, I want to make it clear that I have no problem paying for dinners when I have a romantic interest in the woman, I'm significantly older than the woman (like 10 years or so), or she doesn't have a job. However, what I do object to is being conned or scammed on. Where the woman is playing guys for fools or for free drinks and dinners, and she has no romantic interest whatsoever.
It appears various older Japanese women from mid 30s on up (and who have jobs or are older than the guy on the date), and often from online dating sites, will come to dates with no money. She will order as much food and drinks as she can. When the bill arrives, and if the guy looks to them to pay their half, she will claim that she has no money, only a credit card. This is to get the guy to pay. Basically, guys are used for free dinners.
Counters to such tactics:
1. Do not take an online or arguably 1st date to an expensive restaurant.
If it's not clear she has a romantic interest in you, then the guy might want to save his money. A woman that really likes you, doesn't mind going to an ordinary place or even just having coffee. And there are many nice restaurants that are inexpensive.
2. The guy should attempt to test the woman in some way, to determine if she authentically likes him or is receptive to sex.
This can be through touch testing, having a non-vulgar talk about a sexual topic (often requires the guy be a skilled/good conversationalist to pull this off correctly), or doing things like talking about bikinis and showing her pictures of such to gauge her reaction (pulling that is risky, as can offend).
3. Have her pay with her credit card
If she claims not to have any cash, then you give her X amount of cash (that you think fair) and then have her use her credit card to pay.
It appears various older Japanese women from mid 30s on up (and who have jobs or are older than the guy on the date), and often from online dating sites, will come to dates with no money. She will order as much food and drinks as she can. When the bill arrives, and if the guy looks to them to pay their half, she will claim that she has no money, only a credit card. This is to get the guy to pay. Basically, guys are used for free dinners.
Counters to such tactics:
1. Do not take an online or arguably 1st date to an expensive restaurant.
If it's not clear she has a romantic interest in you, then the guy might want to save his money. A woman that really likes you, doesn't mind going to an ordinary place or even just having coffee. And there are many nice restaurants that are inexpensive.
2. The guy should attempt to test the woman in some way, to determine if she authentically likes him or is receptive to sex.
This can be through touch testing, having a non-vulgar talk about a sexual topic (often requires the guy be a skilled/good conversationalist to pull this off correctly), or doing things like talking about bikinis and showing her pictures of such to gauge her reaction (pulling that is risky, as can offend).
3. Have her pay with her credit card
If she claims not to have any cash, then you give her X amount of cash (that you think fair) and then have her use her credit card to pay.