Japanese Women & Close-minded Or Racist Interference

Many Japanese women don't give international dating a try, due to very negative advice or stories told by cowardly, close-minded, or racist Japanese friends or associates who scare or intimidate them. NOT all Japanese are like that, but some are.

For example, she tells her girlfriend of meeting a foreign person, and then her friend tells her some horrible story about foreigners or the area she met him; often from the Japanese news. The story or about the location, can have nothing to do with the foreign guy whatsoever. However, it's sufficient to scare her friend. Opportunity in life lost. And for many Japanese, their bubble is small, and they rarely get out of it.

Basically the friend is cowardly or racist, and is pushing or forcing their beliefs on other friends. I've seen this behavior extend to even Japanese who don't know each other. They pretend they are "protecting" them, and instead are being assholish xenophobics or racists. There is no "protection", just lots of close-mindedness or cowardice.

For example. Was with a date in Shimbashi. I'm not so familiar with the area, but she wanted to drink there. I choose a random bar, that looked interesting from the outside and I have never been to before.

After a short while, the older bartender there tries to test my level of Japanese. I pretend I don't speak Japanese, and also because I'm trying to focus on my date and talk with her instead.

The bartender, thinking I don't speak Japanese and using the opportunity of me going to the bathroom, then begins to tell the Japanese woman I'm with, all kinds of really fucked up lies. Like I'm a playboy that comes to the bar all the time (never been there in my life), and she should be careful of me.

My Japanese date of course doesn't know what the hell is going and is trying to be respectful to this older guy. Another Japanese woman, who seemed also upset by what the bartender is doing, informs me a bit about what was said while I was in the bathroom. The other woman had spent 10 years in California, and just returned to Japan. She asks me if I've ever came to the bar before. In the 3-way conversation, in Japanese, I figure out what was going on, and primarily because the other Japanese woman recently from the U.S. decided to air out what happened.

I then get pissed off about the insanity that was spewed by the bartender. Me and the asshole bartender then get into an argument. My Japanese date decides to run out. Likely embarrassed or afraid of the situation. I didn't bother to chase after her, and instead finished telling the bartender about how wrong it is to do the bullshit he pulled. Totally no reason to do that, and I was a customer.

A lot of foreigners in Japan have no idea about the very negative stories and underhanded tactics being used to scare Japanese women.

Kegger said:

@Solong Your bar story sucks man. But do you think this guy was a douche because he was Japanese, or because he was just a douche human being?

I think you could replace the Japan in your post with many other countries in the world and it would still be valid. Xenophobia is worldwide.

The other thing I got from your post was how awesome it was that the other Japanese woman got upset at what he was doing and actually did something to help you out.

I think we need to be careful about is labeling everything that goes wrong in our lives in Japan as racist or cowardly. In my experience a lot is also ignorance (which I'm not excusing) or apathy.

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I've traveled to other countries in Asia and Europe. It can also be a problem in various Asian countries, but it takes a different form. You can meet douche bags anywhere, but not on this sly backstabbing type of level, that's prevalent in Japan. In other places, it's more primitive and backwards male territorial behavior. In America and Europe, people call it out for what it is; racism. And most people know better and respect the rights of other people. They would just leave an international or interracial couple alone.

The tactic of backstabbing or making friends fear foreigners is something more prevalent in Japan, due to xenophobia. It's not an isolated incident, but something close-minded or racist Japanese engage in a lot. They pretend to be "protecting" others, but instead are imposing their very paranoid, negative, and racist beliefs on others. Such xenophobic behavior is wrong, whether in Japan or other countries. Because it's an attack on human beings to freely associate with who they choose.

It's partially also why the English speaking ability in Japan is rated as among the lowest in Asia. Many Japanese women feel ashamed or are worried about being teased for speaking English or speaking it "too well", for fear others will consider them a "slut". Many Japanese women are overly paranoid about what others might be thinking.

This behavior of attacking interracial and international relationships by Japanese women, is highly backwards and disgraceful. Many foreigners don't realize the extent of it in Japan. Such Japanese will attack and smear foreign guys behind their back without reason. They don't know the person and have no reason for it. Many foreigners won't realize it, because they aren't fluent in Japanese, so aren't aware of the uncalled for attacks or negative comments.

And if such assholes aren't backstabbing random foreign guys, they can be trying to "slut shame" the Japanese women for having a date with foreigners or even talking English well.

Sudsy said:

This is a myth. Of the 16 Asian countries ranked in the EF English Proficiency Index, Japan is number 6.

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-rele...obal-ranking-of-english-skills-539730692.html

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In TOEFL scores for English, Japan ranks at the bottom. So NOT a myth.

Stop trying to be a Japan apologist and defender, whenever you think or hear somebody is saying something negative about Japan or that Japan isn't a perfect place.

Sudsy said:

This is a myth...

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In TOEIC scores, Japan is 40th out of 48. And at the bottom in Asia. Japan has also been doing poorly on this for years. Previous years show a similar pattern.

http://ajw.asahi.com/article/behind_news/social_affairs/AJ201409100042

Japan doing poorly in English is no myth. TOEFL and TOEIC are considered the international standard of measuring English ability, used also for jobs and by colleges.

Sudsy said:

Actually, the English Proficiency Index results were borne out by a British Council backed tightly controlled study, and are held up as an indictment of how poor a job both the TOEFL and TOEIC exams do at determining English language ability.



No need for the nastiness. My response to you, though contrary to your expressed opinion, was perfectly civil.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand...

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But your contrary opinion, is arguably an issue of why Japanese behavior and attitudes towards foreigners get bypassed.

You dismissed my opinion as if a myth, and then dismissed the TOEFL and TOEIC as if irrelevant exams (and they aren't). Like as if an opinion contrary to the narrative of Japan as "perfect place" or that Japan is not doing well at something, must be just the imagination of foreigners.

Furthermore, I have lived in Japan for many years and traveled to and lived in other Asian countries. What I'm saying isn't something based on lack of experience or a superficial observation. It's something that I have seen repeatedly in Japan. To include comparative English abilities between Asian countries, treatment of foreigners, and the dating scene in various countries of Asia.

Black Mage said:

@Solong but it all begs a question :-

Why these women can't think for themselves?! What breeds this mindset? Is it the culture of oppressing women in Japan that contributes to this?

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I do think it's a form of subtle oppression against women. Instead of overt intimidation and threats, like among racists in some countries. Here, they tend to attempt to scare the women or make them feel uncomfortable.

It's an equally insidious and low tactic. The person pretends that it's done for her "protection", but instead has everything to do with bias, racism, and xenophobia. They won't allow her to think or choose freely. They scare her into making the choice that they want.

"I met a Spanish guy at Tsutaya on Friday."

"Oh no. You must watch out for those Spanish people. I hear they will steal your money or rape you. They come to Japan and cause crime. You must be careful of them. "

"I didn't know that. Thank you. I will block him in my e-mail."

"You are welcome [emoji83] "

MossBoss said:

Using average TOEIC score as a basis for comparing nations English ability is nonsense.

In most countries on Solong's list only the rich elite take the test. In Japan every Tom, Dick and Harry take the test. So of course the average score will be lower. You are comparing apples with oranges.

Solong do you have a list of the number of test takers per country?

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I'm not going to side-track or derail down that path. My point was more the notion that Japanese speaking English poorly is a myth, where TOEFL and TOEIC say otherwise. Nor do I believe anybody here is qualified to dismiss those world recognized tests as irrelevant.

Besides that, I live in Japan and talk to Japanese here every day. In addition to traveling to neighboring Asian countries and speaking to Asians from other countries living in Japan. The difference in English ability is significant. And it's not just the English ability. It's the astounding number of Japanese that don't associate with foreigners and have no foreign friends.

The issue I originally brought up is Japanese feeling embarrassed and ashamed to speak English or being labeled "sluts" and "whores" because they can speak English well. This labeling has a side purpose of attacking any international or interracial relationships by close-minded xenophobics.

Sudsy said:

They're only relevant because some companies and institutions use them as benchmarks. They are horribly poorly structured examinations, which is precisely why there is such an industry around specific preparation for them - they are as accurate in determining language ability as the Japanese driving exam is for determining driving skill. All they indicate is your ability to take and pass a specific test.

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Many job recruiters will tell you there is a strong correlation between high TOEFL and TOEIC scores, and speaking English well.

Now are there exceptions, like a fluent speaker that never took the TOEFL or TOEIC? Yes, have met them. However, many of those grew or spent significant time abroad, or are usually very international minded types.

My point is that many Japanese arguably do speak English poorly in comparison to other Asian countries isn't such a myth, as if not grounded in reality. That was the only point of me bringing up TOEFL and TOEIC, to show there is some basis to the argument.

NormalGuy said:

Not going to comment on the main point, as I'm not going to get into another argument about racism with you, but you are definitely showing bias here stating Japan is the bottom in Asia, from your link

Japan did rank ahead of Thailand, Vietnam, Mongolia, Macao, United Arab Emirates, Indonesia, Chile and last-place Albania.

I'm pretty sure your geography is better than to state that Thailand, Vietnam, Mongolia and Indonesia are not in Asia.

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Vietnam, Thailand, and Indonesia have done better than Japan on various TOEFL and TOEIC tests. Depends on what year and which test. Considering Japan's economic ranking, it's even more amazing they do so poorly.

My original point was more on the environment of Japanese women that do speak English well being "slut shamed" for it by xenophobic or racist associates.