Sexless Student

roots reggae said:

Yes, you are missing a connection and on one level this is surprising.

Click to expand...

I think we just misread each other, nothing more...well, plus maybe a bit of animosity leaking over from an unrelated discussion.

The single word that made me wonder at your point was the last one I quoted from your post in my previous post, namely you wrote "amazing!" I still don't know what you meant by that word, but I read it initially as you saying that it is amazing that your wife is both intelligent + educated AND has a fairly active sex life with you after 14 years of marriage. I was asking myself in what sense is that "amazing". Were you saying that it was amazing that an intelligent+educated women didn't tire of sex with her husband after 14 years...?? My impression was reinforced by the fact that you started out the post by calling yourself "super lucky". I am sure that it is very nice for you, but afaik it isn't actually a rare situation. Lots of men have intelligent+educated wives whose wives still lust for them after 14 (or many more) years of marriage on a weekly (or more frequent) basis. So, again, I am not sure what it is that you consider "amazing" or "super lucky", but I get that my initial interpretation was wrong. If you want to explain what you meant, please do. If you don't, obviously that is completely up to you.

What surprises me, is your apparent failure to connect the whole person of a female with her sex life. Sexual satisfaction is much more complex, at least in ongoing relationships, than the mere physical act.

Click to expand...

If that was an accurate description of me, you would be very right to be surprised...especially if you have read any of my reviews or paid attention to my online interactions with the women on TAG to whom I am close. Ask @User#8628 or @MissInsomnia for example. Ask them, privately if you prefer, how much I fail to connect their whole person to sex with them. However, I don't find it "amazing" or think myself "super lucky" that such connections exist and are important. It seems perfectly normal and natural to me. So, just as I appear to have misunderstood your meaning, you appear to have misunderstood mine.

-Ww

Wwanderer said:

See this old thread on the topic

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/dating-scene-for-western-women-in-japan.5560/

and this article which instigated that thread:

http://www.vagabondish.com/female-foreign-japan

I might add that I know two Western women who have both lived in Japan for over a decade, over two decades in one case, and who say that they have never been approached by a Japanese man, not even when they dressed to attract male attention and hung out in "pick-up bars and clubs". One of them told me that she has a friend who has had the same experience. Both the ladies I know are tall and gorgeous. One is blonde and the other brunette. Some of their Japanese girlfriends have told them that their height intimidates Japanese men. Btw, they don't know each other (or about each other!).

-Ww

Click to expand...

I've also met Western women with this problem. It can be related to them either being taller than 174 cm (5'8) or being too heavy/fat. The height problem being more that Asian guys appear to get more intimated by it, where the heavy/fat condition is considered unattractive.

Outside of the physical appearance issue, it can be the Western woman's concept of masculinity, combined with how she believes men and women should approach each other. The Japanese guys don't approach her or don't seem masculine enough to such a woman, thus stalemate and nothing happens. With that said, if a foreign woman lives in the city (like Tokyo), there are choices in foreign men to date, if she gets into the more international scene.

The more successful Western women that I have seen and met, tended to be shorter and skinnier, more like Japanese women in build. Japanese men seem less intimated to approach them. And the more Japanese the Western women spoke, the even easier it was on Japanese guys making the approaches. Of course there are exceptions...

Asylm57 said:

So the other day, I was having a private lesson with one of my Japanese students(34years old) at a Cafe and during the lesson she showed me a news article about "Sex-less" foreign women living in Japan. Right after showing me article, she told me she is Sex-less as well and hasn't had sex in two years!
Why would she tell me this? Have any of you been in a similar situation? Is she hinting at me for sex or simply would like some advice?

Click to expand...

Over the years of living in Japan, I've encountered similar type of situations many times. You won't be able to determine if she actually has any interest in you, unless you press forward and see. Debating it too much in your own head can be wasting time. Better to go find out more directly if she's real or fake.

1) She is sex-less, because she has some mental issues or crazy beliefs.

Some of the worse or difficult sexual experiences that I ever had was opening Pandora's box with such types of women. They had all kinds of issues ranging from child sexual abuse, religious beliefs, overly repressive parents, odd feminist man-hating type thinking, etc... The older she is, and the less comfortable she has become with her sexuality, the worse it can be.

Sometimes it is better to just leave Pandora's box closed. You can talk to her about sexuality or sex related issues to get a better sense of where she's at mentally. But if your spider sense is going off and telling you that something is wrong with this woman, then you might want to leave or avoid such with her.

2) She is just saying something outrageous or lying for attention

Some women are just getting off on your reaction and being a scam artist. She's a "near-virgin" with EVERY guy she meets or thinks is a sucker. If you get the sense she's way too much about the attention, you might just want to walk away.

And walk away you should! I got one who presented herself as a bisexual. Just the other day, she sent me a message stating that she was in dire straits in Mexico City with no way to settle her hotel bill and to send her money ASAP.

Women who air that they are almost unfucked, more than likely are closed to fucked up as you can get.

I can't lie! The last time I told a woman I was a one owner dick, she laughed so hard her teeth fell out. Then she mumbled, I had a dirty dick and to piss off.

So well, I looked down and noticed a little wet spot. I pissed myself without knowing.

DeepStick2020 said:

And walk away you should! I got one who presented herself as a bisexual. Just the other day, she sent me a message stating that she was in dire straits in Mexico City with no way to settle her hotel bill and to send her money ASAP.

Click to expand...

Would "Scooby Doo" ring any bells when thinking of this woman?

DeepStick2020 said:

Just the other day, she sent me a message stating that she was in dire straits in Mexico City with no way to settle her hotel bill and to send her money ASAP.

Click to expand...

Usually that means someone's account got hacked

NormalGuy said:

Would "Scooby Doo" ring any bells when thinking of this woman?

Click to expand...

Rings a bell loud and clear!

DeepStick2020 said:

Rings a bell loud and clear!

Click to expand...

She must be having a shitty week, as she mailed me to say she had been robbed in Paris. Tough luck to get robbed twice in one week in completely different countries.

Bruh! What are you doing?

Sexless Sensei!!!



By the way, I notice that you do not have an avatar yet. Please consider the image above.

This has been an interesting post.

I don't know how long you have been here in Japan. Nevertheless, you should get some indication if a woman has interest in you. There is this whole sub-culture of women taking private English lessons from foreign men, for the purpose of; well meeting foreign men. Can you guess what comes next. This is not to say that 100% of the time that is the issue. However, when they bring up sex...it is pretty much a done deal. Then the issue becomes management of expectations. That is were most men get in trouble. This student is more than likely very doable, it is a matter of management. Do her outside her/your home not inside. Tell her up front that this is casual. In fact, take her to a happening bar and let her get done by some more dudes. Then she becomes manageable, you get yours, she gets hers and you still get a paycheck.