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  1. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Dear Mods, I know, I know: Heavy profanity, not the appriopriate place, huge mass positing on first post. I'm really sorry about all of the above. You can delete this and I will understand. This forum is probably not the right place to put our issues out like this, but I needed an adult...
  2. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    One last thing, ok. Probably the best advice I gave above for you is 'show don't tell'. Show her that she is a beautiful, sexy woman that you care about and want to have in your bed and maybe she will come around. You have talked. Talk is fail. Talk doesn't work. I know. My wife and I just gave...
  3. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    That's about it, User#1022. I'm going to imagine you never read this, but this is my public service to others who are going to come looking. If anyone wants, they can copy this in full. This is public domain from here onwards. [Maybe a mod will email it to you, B?]
  4. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    3) Have an emergency fund. Start moving money back home under the pretense of investment in good interest rates. Have 25% in that account. That's your nest egg for when things go to shit (and they will if you take this route.) Also, cut the joint account down like a tree that is ruining your...
  5. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Divorce: This is a game changer. This is where you get into the big leagues. Here are a few things you need to know. 1) You are going to have to prove you are a good husband. Photos, recordings, video, audio, letters, emails, mails that show you are a good husband are what you now must collect...
  6. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Don't divorce her and move out. Why would I suggest this? First, your visa lasts until its expiry date (remember my friend above). If you have a visa renewal coming up, get the permanent one (I'm getting mine next year.) or self sponsor and move out. You don't want to be hunting for a full time...
  7. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Maintaining the flow of pain. One thing I can advise to you is this: don't fight back. Fuck her because it's not worth it. I stopped fighting back and it really works. I'm a fucking shit chewer. I love manure. Bring the shit. I never really respond. I just let the conversation burn down to cold...
  8. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Long first post, eh? Let's keep on. Fucking around: Do it with whores! Don't fuck your co-worker or something stupid like that. I don't care if she's hot and you love her ass that just Vs out like that, which makes you want to part and patrol that zone with your guy nebula. Ah, yeah… dirty...
  9. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    10) If you are a bit weighty or not so pretty (me) then throughout this you should be controlling your calories, hitting the gym (this is important for every choice). You want to model your stuff up. If you are over 40 like me, work harder and smarter. Get fit and look hot. Change out your...
  10. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    8) All throughout this you are going to need to give gifts, love notes, flowers, canned coffee, notes (Thanks for dinner last night. It was tasty. XXX Bob. [Or] I love you, babe. I woke up and looked over at you this morning and thought ‘damn sexy’. Just saying. Hugs. XXX Bobster.) and other...
  11. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    6) Break the chain of family life a bit (see what I just said above). Start taking her out regularly. No set days, just regularly. Keep punching her wall until you get some cracks or her crack, whichever. Remember you are not going to get laid for fucking AGES. This is a slow process, like...
  12. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    4) Make it romantic. Shock the bitch. Use your stunner and do it. If you are a casual guy (movies, whatever), don't run the road that leads to a normal association. She has ideas about what is 'normal' for her and you and you need to bust that shit open with a sledge hammer and a shot gun...
  13. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    1) Talk doesn't work. It just doesn't in our situation. You can argue, shoot off steam, punch her in the face, plead, cry, beg, whatever. Talk is not the answer. It just has such a low impact when you are fucked up that it doesn't work for either of you. You only end up feeling better for a...
  14. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Let's assume you want to keep her (I'll talk about divorce and fucking around later). Here's my battle plan [untested because I am choosing 'Keep her and try to ignore it' because it is more useful to make use of her for her visa potential, steady home life, Japanese ability and occasional company.]
  15. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Using the above as a jump off, let's look at what you can do. # Divorce her. # Keep her and try to make things better. # Keep her and try to ignore it. # Don't divorce her and move out. # Start messing around outside the relationship. # Any 50 shade of gray that I haven't mentioned. Look at...
  16. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    So, establishing this, what I have discovered for myself is that there are certain points of change that often result in our situations. An example, but not from my own life as I need to lower how easy it is to figure out who I am (this post is a little too obvious, so I’ve used other people’s...
  17. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    I want you to know that this is REALLY normal, not just here, but elsewhere also. We all know or have heard about it, but living it is a whole different ball game.
  18. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    In terms of what is going on, if you are anything like me, you are in this position. You and your wife started out getting it on regularly. You and she were satisfied with that situation and were enjoying yourselves. This is good. Then baby number one came. There was probably a subtle change...
  19. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    Back to you: First, I understand where you are coming from. I've done a few things to blow off steam on the internet, such as ranting about various topics (everything really). Your action here is really welcome and taking a step like this to privately get your feelings out is definitely good...
  20. J

    Marriage, a bad idea

    For all the men to come and one in particular This is going to be really, really long. Bear with me. Hi User#1022, I know it's been a long time since you posted this, but I would like to offer you a few things from a similar perspective. My Background: - I've been married a while longer...