With that last paragraph I think you just might be channeling Kevin Spacey: sociopathic, bisexual, paedophilic, violent predator. You do it well on paper. Don’t do it in real life though. You can’t afford the lawyers. Oh, and I think all bets are off for getting any decent aged Japanese single malts at acceptable prices these days. Our Mainlander friends have ruined that for us too.
Fuck Kevin Spacey. Because of that sick asshole's antics I didn't get to enjoy the last season of House of Cards. I'll never forgive him.
And don't worry, even if I did harbor Spacey's inclinations I've watched enough episodes of "Locked Up Abroad" to know better. But I was being serious about sucker punching Justin Bieber. That one has been on my bucket list for a long, long time. Most of the fantasy nastiness I write is, however, based on real experience, and creepy closet queers at the onsen is a genuine phenomenon.
A few years back I visited Osaka in the summer, and while my usual onsen joint is the massive Spa World, I decided to check out a smaller, more local facility closer to where I had lived which was apparently becoming popular with tourists. I had gone at night, again to avoid the heat of the daytime, and was following my usual routine--toss back a few beers and then out to the rotenburo.
I'm not out there long when two young kids come out and jump in the water next to me. I'm already getting angry because kids piss me off and ruin my relaxation, but then I realized these two kids weren't Japanese at all. They were babbling in an Asian language in couldn't understand and quite noisily, too, to the point where I was so angry I just barked at them in English, "CAN YOU SHUT UP??"
The both freeze and then one of them says, in pretty decent English: "Oh, I'm very sorry!" and says to his friend what I'm assuming is "be quiet" in their own language.
So then I feel a little bad so I ask the kids where they're from, and it turns out they're from Singapore. They ask where I'm from since I can speak English, and I tell them I'm American. Fair enough, and they were quiet after that so no problem. But then along came this middle-aged guy who turned out to be their father. He jumps in the water next to us, the kids tell him that I'm an American and he starts asking me all sorts of boring questions about where I'm from, what I do, how long I'm in Japan.
Now, I don't go to the onsen to fucking socialize, so I'm getting annoyed and decide to head back in to the indoor lounge to toss back a few more beers. When I do, daddy follows me and offers to buy the round of beers. Sounds good to me, so I grab a table at the tatami rest area. Daddy come back with beers, we finish that round, he offers to buy the next one and I'm feeling better already. But when he came back he actually sat next to me. And the drunker he got, the closer I noticed he was moving to me every time he got back with the next round of beers. And this asshole is actually looking in my eyes as he's asking me these increasingly bizarre questions. I look around, no idea where his kids went.
Now, at this point I'm a little offended, but not by the fact that a closet-queer is trying to get me drunk. No, I'm upset that this closet-queer thinks he's handsome enough to score with ME. But...am I above pretending to be gay/bi/curious for free drinks?
Absolutely not. So I pretended to be into it and milked that creepy prick for another three or four rounds, said I had to piss, dressed quickly and ran away laughing.