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About Nanpa AND Sugar Dating

Lucas7373

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So.. here is the situation.

I am 45 years old and have been in Japan for several years now.
I have been dating and had sex with 20+ Japanese girls and got pretty fed up of it.
So in the last few years, I am growing little bit old and busy with work and I am not interested any more in being a serial dater or so
Nor in a serious relationship
So I was looking for some pay for play but the fuzoku scene in Japan does not look good as I want a full service and soaplands are sky high and I want to ave sex some 2 times a week or so and do not want to pay over 10man per month
Impossible?

Maybe yes or maybe not

As I sie note I can not believe you guys pay 20man or 30man for being a sugardaddy for one single girl

I was thinking there are literally lots of your girls who do not mind having sex for 1.5man or 2man per pop.
So here is what I think
If you offer them the possibility ot have sex at flexible times when they want
If you tell them you will only take then 45-50 minutes at time
After you get to know them they may come to your house at regular intervals and spend 40-50 minutes with you and then leave with 1.2man or so
They would make more money in 45 minutes than in a day of work
This may be good for daigakusei or pato
The problem is how to find such girl
I have tried services like PCmax or omiai but they look as scams to me
Most of the girls have fake profiles and 25 years girls most of them times are 40 years or so

So I was thinking to use the bar scene
Here is my plan

You just prepare a pack with 10 envelopes with written in Japanese that you are OK with offering a 10man per month in exchange of "services"
You just write down a yahoo mail
If you meet a young cutie in a bar, you just get to talk to her, most of the Japanese girls are nice and they are OK with talking with stranters
You would offer them a beer
After 5 minutes of talking you just leave them and give them the envelope
Just make sure they are over 20
In the envelope you just write that if they are not interested they just can trash the envelope and this is it
If they reply to you, you just invite them to a bar, and then tell them the whole thing
They can decide time and place and you will give them 1.2man per meeting

My points are:
1) would this be legal
I mean, I would be afraid any of the girl going to the police and then quoting you for harassment of somethoing or for prostitution
Thius point quite scares me as in orderr to be successful you would need to talk with 30-40 girls or so
2) would this plan be OK with also talking to cuties in parks and trains for, say, a minute or so and leaving them the envelope soon after?

I do not think that proposing them straight away would work
 
So.. here is the situation.

I am 45 years old and have been in Japan for several years now.
I have been dating and had sex with 20+ Japanese girls and got pretty fed up of it.
So in the last few years, I am growing little bit old and busy with work and I am not interested any more in being a serial dater or so
Nor in a serious relationship
So I was looking for some pay for play but the fuzoku scene in Japan does not look good as I want a full service and soaplands are sky high and I want to ave sex some 2 times a week or so and do not want to pay over 10man per month
Impossible?

Maybe yes or maybe not

As I sie note I can not believe you guys pay 20man or 30man for being a sugardaddy for one single girl

I was thinking there are literally lots of your girls who do not mind having sex for 1.5man or 2man per pop.
So here is what I think
If you offer them the possibility ot have sex at flexible times when they want
If you tell them you will only take then 45-50 minutes at time
After you get to know them they may come to your house at regular intervals and spend 40-50 minutes with you and then leave with 1.2man or so
They would make more money in 45 minutes than in a day of work
This may be good for daigakusei or pato
The problem is how to find such girl
I have tried services like PCmax or omiai but they look as scams to me
Most of the girls have fake profiles and 25 years girls most of them times are 40 years or so

So I was thinking to use the bar scene
Here is my plan

You just prepare a pack with 10 envelopes with written in Japanese that you are OK with offering a 10man per month in exchange of "services"
You just write down a yahoo mail
If you meet a young cutie in a bar, you just get to talk to her, most of the Japanese girls are nice and they are OK with talking with stranters
You would offer them a beer
After 5 minutes of talking you just leave them and give them the envelope
Just make sure they are over 20
In the envelope you just write that if they are not interested they just can trash the envelope and this is it
If they reply to you, you just invite them to a bar, and then tell them the whole thing
They can decide time and place and you will give them 1.2man per meeting

My points are:
1) would this be legal
I mean, I would be afraid any of the girl going to the police and then quoting you for harassment of somethoing or for prostitution
Thius point quite scares me as in orderr to be successful you would need to talk with 30-40 girls or so
2) would this plan be OK with also talking to cuties in parks and trains for, say, a minute or so and leaving them the envelope soon after?

I do not think that proposing them straight away would work

Lol! I have been branded a cheap cunt for less "offensive" ideas... are you French by any chance? :D

Interesting idea but I really dont understand how it would be that different vs having sex with your 20+ girlfriends you mentioned at the beginning. Less hassle maybe? You prefer to trade off money for time&energy spent? (No judgment by the way , I totally understand that, but just not sure the sex would be better).

Anyway to answer your question as long as there is no name given and you use a fairly anonymous email address , and dont act like a weirdo, the risks seem limited
 
Dude, go to a deai cafe or omiai bar where this kind of propasals are not considered inappropriate.

I would NOT advise to do the envelope thing. This means they will have proof to show if they want to go to the police.
There are definitely Japanese guys who offer money to girls on the street but they do so with talking and handsigns, no written things.

The websites you mention do work for the kine if deals you are looking for, but you're right that you often wont get the girl in the picture.
With deai cafes and omiai bars you can see the girl in person and if you dont touch her inappropriately she wont hold sexual harassment against you.

I give your plan a high succesrate if your Japanese is good, a low succesrate if not.
 
It was 20+ dates in 10 yeras so not really a playboy
Yes, I would do this way for two reasons

1) I am too old for 20 yo girls
2) I do not want to tell lies to anyone (I will marry you and then leave)

Moreover, I really have limited time
 
Dude, go to a deai cafe or omiai bar where this kind of propasals are not considered inappropriate.

I would NOT advise to do the envelope thing. This means they will have proof to show if they want to go to the police.
There are definitely Japanese guys who offer money to girls on the street but they do so with talking and handsigns, no written things.

The websites you mention do work for the kine if deals you are looking for, but you're right that you often wont get the girl in the picture.
With deai cafes and omiai bars you can see the girl in person and if you dont touch her inappropriately she wont hold sexual harassment against you.

I give your plan a high succesrate if your Japanese is good, a low succesrate if not.

Yes..
I was thinking the same, I guess leaving a written proof or something may not be the best idea
Sure, it is highly unlikely that any of the girls goes to the police, not impossible though
Maybe if you write a very nuanced message without promising money straight away you would not be in trouble anyways, not sure it is worth the risk though
I have no idea wht a dei cafe or other is, I have never been to a one
I assume they are only for usual dating not for enjo kosai
Can you plesase be more specifcic?
 
Yes..
I was thinking the same, I guess leaving a written proof or something may not be the best idea
Sure, it is highly unlikely that any of the girls goes to the police, not impossible though
Maybe if you write a very nuanced message without promising money straight away you would not be in trouble anyways, not sure it is worth the risk though
I have no idea wht a dei cafe or other is, I have never been to a one
I assume they are only for usual dating not for enjo kosai
Can you plesase be more specifcic?
They are only for enjou kosai. None of the girls go there for normal dating.

Search for Kirari here on TAG or on google.
 
Cant believe it!!
10+ yeras in Tokyo and did not know about this

What I shame
Really
Yes, it seems to be exactly what you are looking for!

You may pay more on the first few times, especially to pay the cafe entrance fee, but i think its possible to find girls who are up for the arrangement you mentioned earlier.
 
1) I am too old for 20 yo girls
2) I do not want to tell lies to anyone (I will marry you and then leave)

Well, nobody is too old for 20 year old girls. And if you do not want to tell lies might I suggest you stop? Because telling them what you think they want rather than what they want is kind of a bad strategy anyway.

There are lots of girls out there who are not looking for marriage but fun times. So you could try instead "I am not looking for anything serious, but someone to have fun together" and I am quite sure you will be surprised.

And the envelope thing is a really bad idea. For me the best outcome is you look like a creep and the worst is someone takes it to the cops and they charge you for proposing prostitution.
 
Have you tried happymail/wakuwaku? Theres a lot of girls on there asking for such arrangement but u need a bit of japanese and they sometime just ignore u if they know you are not jp.

In terms of kirari, my experience is quite mix. Girls in there are very average if not downright bad. and even if a hot one comes in, theres way too many guys trying to talk to her. i guess a lot of people are seeking out an amateur hot girl...
 
@Lucas7373

First of all,

Welcome to TAG!

Mercy, I try not to be too judgmental, forgive me if I am not successful in suppressing my original reaction.

I admire you for baring your soul and being so forthright with your desires.

That said, for heavens sake! I could understand it if you were young and inexperienced, and just arrived in Japan-this planet.

There's a reason that nobody, at least in my memory, has come up with such a naive proposal.

Naive, remember, I'm trying to temper my judgmental side, naive on so many levels.

Based on my reading of your post:

1. You have tried dating "average" Japanese girls, have had sex, but for some reason, and here's where my own
interpretation comes in-you find all of that "too high maintenance." Slightly naive

2. All you want from a woman is sex. Naive
a. cheap Very Naive

3. You want to solicit attractive women with flyers, complete with your email address. Outer Limits
Naive

1ef696fe5ab67d402f9e22b25a8cce78


My best advice for you:

Spend hours and hours reading threads on the forum.

Pay attention to how successful posters achieve that success.

Pay even more attention to the many failures-you'll learn more from them.

Good luck and please keep posting.:)

 
Last edited:
Have you tried happymail/wakuwaku? Theres a lot of girls on there asking for such arrangement but u need a bit of japanese and they sometime just ignore u if they know you are not jp.

In terms of kirari, my experience is quite mix. Girls in there are very average if not downright bad. and even if a hot one comes in, theres way too many guys trying to talk to her. i guess a lot of people are seeking out an amateur hot girl...
Would you say girls on happymail are better looking than in kirari?
Some may be, but many use fake or heavily purikurashopped pictures.

You are right that the pretty girls get called faster in kirari and can charge a lot more, but taste varies slightly per guy and at least this way you can actually see the girl and make sure she is your type.

Some girls are also acceptable by foreigners but less so by Japanese. There used to be a very pretty Japanese girl in kirari with visible tattoos on her hands. I can imagine that holding her back from succes with average Japanese guys a bit.
 
Would you say girls on happymail are better looking than in kirari?
Some may be, but many use fake or heavily purikurashopped pictures.

You are right that the pretty girls get called faster in kirari and can charge a lot more, but taste varies slightly per guy and at least this way you can actually see the girl and make sure she is your type.

Some girls are also acceptable by foreigners but less so by Japanese. There used to be a very pretty Japanese girl in kirari with visible tattoos on her hands. I can imagine that holding her back from succes with average Japanese guys a bit.

Happy/waku is a hit or miss. Girls with a single photo is a no go lol. If they have quite a few then the odds of them looking like theirs pics is higher.

Maybe is the timing I go to kirari, but is always crowded. Some guys just camps by the door and takes a new girls card straight away :/ They should really have a limit of how many people you can talk to at the same kirari per day.

Have you made friends with any of the hot kirari girls? If yes, please introduce so I can by pass the kirari system haha
 
Maybe is the timing I go to kirari, but is always crowded. Some guys just camps by the door and takes a new girls card straight away :/ They should really have a limit of how many people you can talk to at the same kirari per day.
Yes, some guys have told me they were literally fighting over my cards or snatching them away as soon as they were put up. But its not always many callers. Try weekday daytime, but not right when it opened because many guy have their lunch break there.

I do have a hot friend from kirari but she is very maguro, i think she's actually a closet lesbian.
 
Yes, some guys have told me they were literally fighting over my cards or snatching them away as soon as they were put up. But its not always many callers. Try weekday daytime, but not right when it opened because many guy have their lunch break there.

I do have a hot friend from kirari but she is very maguro, i think she's actually a closet lesbian.
What time did u go were there not many callers? After 9pm or before noon?

Weekday daytime is kinda impossible while working lol. I tried Sunday before and the variety of girls that comes through is the best imo. Lots of amateur looking people rather than pros imo.
 
Yes, it seems to be exactly what you are looking for!

You may pay more on the first few times, especially to pay the cafe entrance fee, but i think its possible to find girls who are up for the arrangement you mentioned earlier.

Actually, after a quick check I found out I went to one of such places.
In Shibuya
Quite sloppy girls and almost all of them just wanted to be paid for a drink or so
Some of them were so ugly, I would need to get paid to go out with them
 
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I have been in Japan way many more yaers than the average guy here and I suyspect I have dated and had secx with many more woemn than the average man here

You forgot to mention that you also seem to have a lot more problems with that dating than the average guy here.

The average guy here seems to be quite happy about what he is paying. Though that level varies a lot; some pay 300.000 yens per month, some pay nothing but everyone in general seems to think they made a good deal and are satisfied what they get. I don't see any problems with that, nor do they.

Instead it was you who came here for advice. Except when it's given you seem to have a difficult time accepting it. As you know better please go ahead with your plan. Don't forget to come back to update us with your success rate; I mean even in the worst case it is just 24 days and you'll be able to connect to internet again.
 
Actually, after a quick check I found out I went to one of such places.
In Shibuya
Quite sloppy girls and almost all of them just wanted to be paid for a drink or so
Some of them were so ugly, I would need to get paid to go out with them

So based on one visit to one place in one part of town on one particular day at one particular time, you decided the whole kirari thing is not for you? Fwiiw, I have found at least a tiny bit of persistence is necessary to accomplish most things in life.

-Ww
 
So based on one visit to one place in one part of town on one particular day at one particular time, you decided the whole kirari thing is not for you? Fwiiw, I have found at least a tiny bit of persistence is necessary to accomplish most things in life.

-Ww


Well, when I went I realized there were 6-7 girls avbailable to "talk", out of them only 1-2 were good looking
There was up to so much space there, so it is unlikely there woulld have been many more girls in any given time
Moreover guys were popping in all the time, so in a given time of 1-2 hours the good ones would have gotten to talk with at least 20-30 guys
Too much competition and this was unlikely to change in the future
However, you are right I may try again and see if I am wrong
Another turn down point is that there are only a few locations that have kirari in town and I happen to live far away from all of them apparently
If I am looking to serial date someone, this would happen to be close to my house and not 30-40 minutes away
 
You forgot to mention that you also seem to have a lot more problems with that dating than the average guy here.

The average guy here seems to be quite happy about what he is paying. Though that level varies a lot; some pay 300.000 yens per month, some pay nothing but everyone in general seems to think they made a good deal and are satisfied what they get. I don't see any problems with that, nor do they.

Instead it was you who came here for advice. Except when it's given you seem to have a difficult time accepting it. As you know better please go ahead with your plan. Don't forget to come back to update us with your success rate; I mean even in the worst case it is just 24 days and you'll be able to connect to internet again.

Actually, I had deleted my comments my self or did the administrator delete it?
Last night I was little bit tired and I wrote a comment full of grammar mistakes so I may have deleted it myself and then forgot about it
If the administrator deleted it as he found it too straight or insulting I would like to know it
Otherwise, if it has been me I will repost it again

I am not sure "the average guy here seems to be quite happy about what he is paying"
You should not be talking for others in any case
And I did not actually like his patronizing tone
"Spend hours and hours reading threads on the forum. "

Why should anyone write anything like that?

Just asking..
 
@Lucas7373

First of all,

Welcome to TAG!

Mercy, I try not to be too judgmental, forgive me if I am not successful in suppressing my original reaction.

I admire you for baring your soul and being so forthright with your desires.

That said, for heavens sake! I could understand it if you were young and inexperienced, and just arrived in Japan-this planet.

There's a reason that nobody, at least in my memory, has come up with such a naive proposal.

Naive, remember, I'm trying to temper my judgmental side, naive on so many levels.

Based on my reading of your post:

1. You have tried dating "average" Japanese girls, have had sex, but for some reason, and here's where my own
interpretation comes in-you find all of that "too high maintenance." Slightly naive

2. All you want from a woman is sex. Naive
a. cheap Very Naive

3. You want to solicit attractive women with flyers, complete with your email address. Outer Limits
Naive

1ef696fe5ab67d402f9e22b25a8cce78


My best advice for you:

Spend hours and hours reading threads on the forum.

Pay attention to how successful posters achieve that success.

Pay even more attention to the many failures-you'll learn more from them.

Good luck and please keep posting.:)

Dunno where my reply to you went so I will try to repost it here hoping not to get banned :)


1. You have tried dating "average" Japanese girls, have had sex, but for some reason, and here's where my own interpretation comes in-you find all of that "too high maintenance." Slightly naive
-> What is naive about this?

I really can not understand

2. All you want from a woman is sex. Naive
-> Naive what?
GO out with a woman and try to have sex is "naive"?
This is what 90% of the males between 16 and 35 do

a. cheap Very Naive
-> Very naive try not to pay 30-40 man for every girl you try to have sex with is "very naive".
Seriously?

3. You want to solicit attractive women with flyers, complete with your email address. Outer Limits
Naive
-> Have you ever tried?
At least once?

Spend hours and hours reading threads on the forum.
Pay attention to how successful posters achieve that success.

-> I have also read how many posters spent several xman yen to date an average looking Jgirl and ended up with little or nothing
So please be faithful to your promise and do not patronize. You do not need to

 
In "patronizing" I was being kind, giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Your responses demonstrate an unwillingness to engage in the kind self-reflection that might indicate a possibility of positive growth.

Ten plus years in Japan? Hard to believe reading your posts. And that's a short time compared to many of us here on TAG. Are you really that proud of having sex with 20+ Japanese "girls?" That's about two a year.

Since you are 45 years old, in Japan, you should be earning enough to afford a quality experience with a woman, especially since you are "so busy with work" that you are not inclined/unable to form a quality relationship with a "woman," and 20 year-old "girls" are not desirable to you. Maybe it's the other way around.

If you are not able to afford an evening out, given your age and work ethic, it is no wonder you are "fed up." Under the circumstances, I would be fed up with myself, as well.

You asked for advice. You got it. I tried not to be judgmental based on one post. Now, with more information, it's difficult not to form an opinion.

As I stated earlier, if you were young and just arrived in Japan, we could make allowances for your apparent ignorance about some of the basic facts of life here in Japan. As it stands, your proposed tactics are at least an embarrassment and could quite possibly, and deservedly so, result in your being deported.

As the esteemed MikeH suggested, continue your line of thinking, please post the results as a cautionary tale, somewhat in the spirit of TAG's beloved TokyoJoeBlow, so at least some good may result from your time on TAG.
 
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In "patronizing" I was being kind, giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Your responses demonstrate an unwillingness to engage in the kind self-reflection that might indicate a possibility of positive growth.

Ten plus years in Japan? Hard to believe reading your posts. And that's a short time compared to many of us here on TAG. Are you really that proud of having sex with 20+ Japanese "girls?" That's about two a year.

Since you are 45 years old, in Japan, you should be earning enough to afford a quality experience with a woman, especially since you are "so busy with work" that you are not inclined/unable to form a quality relationship with a "woman," and 20 year-old "girls" are not desirable to you. Maybe it's the other way around.

If you are not able to afford an evening out, given your age and work ethic, it is no wonder you are "fed up." Under the circumstances, I would be fed up with myself, as well.

You asked for advice. You got it. I tried not to be judgmental based on one post. Now, with more information, it's difficult not to form an opinion.

As I stated earlier, if you were young and just arrived in Japan, we could make allowances for your apparent ignorance about some of the basic facts of life here in Japan. As it stands, your proposed tactics are at least an embarrassment and could quite possibly, and deservedly so, result in your being deported.

As the esteemed MikeH suggested, continue your line of thinking, please post the results as a cautionary tale, somewhat in the spirit of TAG's beloved TokyoJoeBlow, so at least some good may result from your time on TAG.

True, I have been seeking advice here, but not from you
In my very humble opinion there is little value in your patronizing posts, full of BS (GO out with a woman and try to have sex is "naive"? Seriously?) and ad-hominem attacks
Please I do not wish to start a trolling contest with anyone, so feel free to ignore my posts as I am doing with yours
Take care
 
You seem to have bundled together all possible approaches to try and "shotgun" it and score a hit. While the lines may eventually blur, as many can tell you, there is a clear distinction between sugar dating and nampa for a sex friend. I suggest you spend some time on the forums and try and understand not just the techniques but also the fundamental assumptions each approach uses to be successful.

There's an old saying about work. Something can be done: Cheap, Fast, Good. PICK 2 of those. You're getting negative responses rather than overwhelming support because you're trying for all 3 and won't sacrifice any of them.

Of the options mentioned here, if I were in your place, I'd spend more time at the kirari cafes. Yes, its far; yes, the girls might not be attractive. But remember you only need one good encounter to potentially convert it to a regular date.
 
You seem to have bundled together all possible approaches to try and "shotgun" it and score a hit. While the lines may eventually blur, as many can tell you, there is a clear distinction between sugar dating and nampa for a sex friend. I suggest you spend some time on the forums and try and understand not just the techniques but also the fundamental assumptions each approach uses to be successful.

There's an old saying about work. Something can be done: Cheap, Fast, Good. PICK 2 of those. You're getting negative responses rather than overwhelming support because you're trying for all 3 and won't sacrifice any of them.

Of the options mentioned here, if I were in your place, I'd spend more time at the kirari cafes. Yes, its far; yes, the girls might not be attractive. But remember you only need one good encounter to potentially convert it to a regular date.

well, everything is up to discussion, for a guy who pays 5man for sex 4man is cheap ;)
this said, I may definitely give a try to kirari cafes, still think that internet dating is faster and better so far
 
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