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About The Game: What Is It That I'm Missing ?

Lady_Lu

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I've been reading the threads about the Game lately and I feel like something is missing. There is a lot of information about techniques and rules to follow which is okay, it's very helpful to understand the anatomy of attraction, to be able to improve our own skills. But I thought I could find out more the needs/motivation, both men's and women's, what do they want from each other when it comes to relationship/sex/romance.

Sometimes, I feel like there is no interest in women, apart from having sex. I don't find the part about deep connection/romance, the right attitude or whatever is called.
I don't know much about it, I'm a newbie to the Game theory.
 
I've been reading the threads about the Game lately and I feel like something is missing. There is a lot of information about techniques and rules to follow which is okay, it's very helpful to understand the anatomy of attraction, to be able to improve our own skills. But I thought I could find out more the needs/motivation, both men's and women's, what do they want from each other when it comes to relationship/sex/romance.

Sometimes, I feel like there is no interest in women, apart from having sex. I don't find the part about deep connection/romance, the right attitude or whatever is called.
I don't know much about it, I'm a newbie to the Game theory.

I'd say what you're missing is an understanding of the different kinds of pickup.

The Game was a breakthrough work that should be read by anyone interested in pickup, however, it's generally accepted to be outdated and inapplicable to Japan.

It was an old school of pickup that focused almost exclusively on improving external game, i.e. appearance and language. It was about getting women to be attracted to you from the first impression on, being showy and flashy, overly confident. If it gives off the impression of being all about sex, that's because that kind of game is all about sex.

Nowadays, people focus more on internal game, self improvement. That's where the whole "deep connection" comes from, because for a girl to connect with your personality, you need to improve it yourself. Changes don't stop at buying a new wardrobe, it's about developing healthy mental habits with regards to social relationships. A part of those healthy relationship habits involves treating women with respect, understanding their character and personality. Of course, you're not putting the woman on a pedestal and being scared of her like many men. You're being friendly, but respectful. You push the boundaries a little, but you don't overstep them. You want her to be attracted to you, to remember you, and then she will naturally want to have sex with you.

Other healthy relationship habits include developing mental fortitude.
Street pickup is very hard for me, and I haven't slept with girls off the street. I can get their number and go on dates, but it hasn't happened yet.
However, if I pickup from a bar or cafe, it's easier for me, and I can sleep with girls from there because I generally have a better connection.

Based on that, I should just do pickup from the bars and cafes, since it's easier. But there are so many attractive girls on the street! So it's up to me to push myself and to do things that are hard, to try new things and improve myself so it works.

The best pickup is a mix of external and internal game, you can't be without either one. A right balance is hard to achieve, which is where guys like @Sinapse come in to give bootcamps so you can avoid trial and error and get some personalised feedback from experienced guys. You still need to be doing pickup by yourself after the bootcamp, but for guys who are at a loss as to where to start or want to get back into game, it's a good starting point. For people like me who don't have a whole lot of time, I mostly have to do the fine tuning myself. I post on forums sometimes, ask for feedback etc. but at the end of the day it's a personal decision on what I need to improve on.

Obviously, all this is just from my own understanding. Everyone has their own opinion, so I'm looking forward to hearing what people have to say.
 
the needs/motivation, both men's and women's, what do they want from each other when it comes to relationship/sex/romance.

Well, what do YOU think the needs/motivations of men and women are?

I feel like there is no interest in women, apart from having sex. I don't find the part about deep connection/romance, the right attitude or whatever is called.

Hmm.. I'm not sure why you think that. But perhaps the answer lies partially here:

If you love tennis, you would search for tennis teachers, read up on the best tennis rackets, read about theory and techniques. But you wouldn't really find much on those websites for "Why should I love tennis?" The fact that you're poking around on those websites pretty much means that generally, you are already quite interested in tennis. Nobody can "teach" it or tell you to love women. Furthermore, nobody can tell you what to love about women. Some guys might like athletic, intelligent types, others might like "cutesy" fashion-conscious types. Others still might just be so tired of being alone all they want is just ONE girl - any girl to love them. So game is more like: given you are interested in women, how do you get them?

In some ways, I think what drives many people to game is desperation - a lack of results and a frustration at the "traditional romantic script" (constricted pre-defined arenas of social engagement generally focusing on introductions, go on a coffee date, then a dinner date, then on the third date maybe if you like each other move to sex, etc) or they sense a "gap" between what women say and what women do. They feel frustrated that they seem to have no women who like them despite being otherwise very nice, successful guys.

The biggest shift most guys make in game is moving from trying to get every girl to sleep with them, to checking for affinity. I >wrote a post< on it a while back, I think it's relevant here to what you're asking.
 
I'm not a PUA and haven't read all the threads here, but reading and referring to the The Game has had a HUGE influence on the relationships and romance in my life.

But I thought I could find out more the needs/motivation, both men's and women's, what do they want from each other when it comes to relationship/sex/romance.

While The Game and Mystery's Method refer to pair bonding and other theories to explain why men and women seek relationships, I believe what we want from each other is personal and unique.

MM made it possible for me to date more women that I was interested in, or to stick with the metaphor, it made it possible to "play tennis" at an enjoyable level. It can be very hard to get skilled at tennis hitting a ball against a wall by oneself.

Learning MM didn't teach me to trick girls into having shallow sex with me, but it allowed me to recognize and attract those who were interested in me and gracefully guide them through the stages of relationships. Through these experiences, I've learned a lot about the types of relationships and romance I want to have and with whom.
 
I've been reading the threads about the Game lately and I feel like something is missing. There is a lot of information about techniques and rules to follow which is okay, it's very helpful to understand the anatomy of attraction, to be able to improve our own skills. But I thought I could find out more the needs/motivation, both men's and women's, what do they want from each other when it comes to relationship/sex/romance.

Sometimes, I feel like there is no interest in women, apart from having sex. I don't find the part about deep connection/romance, the right attitude or whatever is called.
I don't know much about it, I'm a newbie to the Game theory.
is it weird ? the interest beyond sex is for women we already know, the game is about what happens before we know each other.
 
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I'd say what you're missing is an understanding of the different kinds of pickup.

The Game was a breakthrough work that should be read by anyone interested in pickup, however, it's generally accepted to be outdated and inapplicable to Japan.

It was an old school of pickup that focused almost exclusively on improving external game, i.e. appearance and language. It was about getting women to be attracted to you from the first impression on, being showy and flashy, overly confident. If it gives off the impression of being all about sex, that's because that kind of game is all about sex.

Nowadays, people focus more on internal game, self improvement. That's where the whole "deep connection" comes from, because for a girl to connect with your personality, you need to improve it yourself. Changes don't stop at buying a new wardrobe, it's about developing healthy mental habits with regards to social relationships. A part of those healthy relationship habits involves treating women with respect, understanding their character and personality. Of course, you're not putting the woman on a pedestal and being scared of her like many men. You're being friendly, but respectful. You push the boundaries a little, but you don't overstep them. You want her to be attracted to you, to remember you, and then she will naturally want to have sex with you.

Other healthy relationship habits include developing mental fortitude.
Street pickup is very hard for me, and I haven't slept with girls off the street. I can get their number and go on dates, but it hasn't happened yet.
However, if I pickup from a bar or cafe, it's easier for me, and I can sleep with girls from there because I generally have a better connection.

Based on that, I should just do pickup from the bars and cafes, since it's easier. But there are so many attractive girls on the street! So it's up to me to push myself and to do things that are hard, to try new things and improve myself so it works.

The best pickup is a mix of external and internal game, you can't be without either one. A right balance is hard to achieve, which is where guys like @Sinapse come in to give bootcamps so you can avoid trial and error and get some personalised feedback from experienced guys. You still need to be doing pickup by yourself after the bootcamp, but for guys who are at a loss as to where to start or want to get back into game, it's a good starting point. For people like me who don't have a whole lot of time, I mostly have to do the fine tuning myself. I post on forums sometimes, ask for feedback etc. but at the end of the day it's a personal decision on what I need to improve on.

Obviously, all this is just from my own understanding. Everyone has their own opinion, so I'm looking forward to hearing what people have to say.

Wow, what an amazing post! I tried-and failed-to make these points to BadVibes, but was not nearly as articulate and informative.(y)
 
Well, what do YOU think the needs/motivations of men and women are?



Hmm.. I'm not sure why you think that. But perhaps the answer lies partially here:

If you love tennis, you would search for tennis teachers, read up on the best tennis rackets, read about theory and techniques. But you wouldn't really find much on those websites for "Why should I love tennis?" The fact that you're poking around on those websites pretty much means that generally, you are already quite interested in tennis. Nobody can "teach" it or tell you to love women. Furthermore, nobody can tell you what to love about women. Some guys might like athletic, intelligent types, others might like "cutesy" fashion-conscious types. Others still might just be so tired of being alone all they want is just ONE girl - any girl to love them. So game is more like: given you are interested in women, how do you get them?

In some ways, I think what drives many people to game is desperation - a lack of results and a frustration at the "traditional romantic script" (constricted pre-defined arenas of social engagement generally focusing on introductions, go on a coffee date, then a dinner date, then on the third date maybe if you like each other move to sex, etc) or they sense a "gap" between what women say and what women do. They feel frustrated that they seem to have no women who like them despite being otherwise very nice, successful guys.

The biggest shift most guys make in game is moving from trying to get every girl to sleep with them, to checking for affinity. I >wrote a post< on it a while back, I think it's relevant here to what you're asking.

And this is why you are TAG's resident PUA spokesman with heart and sense!(y)(y)(y) No drama, just karma.
 
I'd say what you're missing is an understanding of the different kinds of pickup.

The Game was a breakthrough work that should be read by anyone interested in pickup, however, it's generally accepted to be outdated and inapplicable to Japan.

It was an old school of pickup that focused almost exclusively on improving external game, i.e. appearance and language. It was about getting women to be attracted to you from the first impression on, being showy and flashy, overly confident. If it gives off the impression of being all about sex, that's because that kind of game is all about sex.

Nowadays, people focus more on internal game, self improvement. That's where the whole "deep connection" comes from, because for a girl to connect with your personality, you need to improve it yourself. Changes don't stop at buying a new wardrobe, it's about developing healthy mental habits with regards to social relationships. A part of those healthy relationship habits involves treating women with respect, understanding their character and personality. Of course, you're not putting the woman on a pedestal and being scared of her like many men. You're being friendly, but respectful. You push the boundaries a little, but you don't overstep them. You want her to be attracted to you, to remember you, and then she will naturally want to have sex with you.

Other healthy relationship habits include developing mental fortitude.
Street pickup is very hard for me, and I haven't slept with girls off the street. I can get their number and go on dates, but it hasn't happened yet.
However, if I pickup from a bar or cafe, it's easier for me, and I can sleep with girls from there because I generally have a better connection.

Based on that, I should just do pickup from the bars and cafes, since it's easier. But there are so many attractive girls on the street! So it's up to me to push myself and to do things that are hard, to try new things and improve myself so it works.

The best pickup is a mix of external and internal game, you can't be without either one. A right balance is hard to achieve, which is where guys like @Sinapse come in to give bootcamps so you can avoid trial and error and get some personalised feedback from experienced guys. You still need to be doing pickup by yourself after the bootcamp, but for guys who are at a loss as to where to start or want to get back into game, it's a good starting point. For people like me who don't have a whole lot of time, I mostly have to do the fine tuning myself. I post on forums sometimes, ask for feedback etc. but at the end of the day it's a personal decision on what I need to improve on.

Obviously, all this is just from my own understanding. Everyone has their own opinion, so I'm looking forward to hearing what people have to say.


I find it beautiful the way you challenge yourself to improve your game !

You have an honesty that I'm sure many girls find it very attractive ;)

Improving the internal game sounds very interesting to me ! I'm looking forward to read more about it.
 
Well, what do YOU think the needs/motivations of men and women are?



Hmm.. I'm not sure why you think that. But perhaps the answer lies partially here:

If you love tennis, you would search for tennis teachers, read up on the best tennis rackets, read about theory and techniques. But you wouldn't really find much on those websites for "Why should I love tennis?" The fact that you're poking around on those websites pretty much means that generally, you are already quite interested in tennis. Nobody can "teach" it or tell you to love women. Furthermore, nobody can tell you what to love about women. Some guys might like athletic, intelligent types, others might like "cutesy" fashion-conscious types. Others still might just be so tired of being alone all they want is just ONE girl - any girl to love them. So game is more like: given you are interested in women, how do you get them?

In some ways, I think what drives many people to game is desperation - a lack of results and a frustration at the "traditional romantic script" (constricted pre-defined arenas of social engagement generally focusing on introductions, go on a coffee date, then a dinner date, then on the third date maybe if you like each other move to sex, etc) or they sense a "gap" between what women say and what women do. They feel frustrated that they seem to have no women who like them despite being otherwise very nice, successful guys.

The biggest shift most guys make in game is moving from trying to get every girl to sleep with them, to checking for affinity. I >wrote a post< on it a while back, I think it's relevant here to what you're asking.


I don't know much about men/women's needs/motivations , I only have bits of information.

I do believe that the Game is a valuable tool for men to improve relationships with women. Actually that's the reason I'm interested in it. I can't wait to read more about how to improve the internal game. It does take a lot of effort and learning for someone just to be aware of his own needs or to develop the mental fortitude deckard was talking about.
 
I'm not a PUA and haven't read all the threads here, but reading and referring to the The Game has had a HUGE influence on the relationships and romance in my life.



While The Game and Mystery's Method refer to pair bonding and other theories to explain why men and women seek relationships, I believe what we want from each other is personal and unique.

MM made it possible for me to date more women that I was interested in, or to stick with the metaphor, it made it possible to "play tennis" at an enjoyable level. It can be very hard to get skilled at tennis hitting a ball against a wall by oneself.

Learning MM didn't teach me to trick girls into having shallow sex with me, but it allowed me to recognize and attract those who were interested in me and gracefully guide them through the stages of relationships. Through these experiences, I've learned a lot about the types of relationships and romance I want to have and with whom.


What is Mystery Method ?

Again, the Game sounds more and more interesting !
 
is it weird ? the interest beyond sex is for women we already know, the game is about what happens before we know each other.


It's good to have clear boundaries.
But why is the game only as a foreplay ? If the Game is checking for affinity , you can play it even with someone you already know, isn't it ?
 
Well, what do YOU think the needs/motivations of men and women are?



Hmm.. I'm not sure why you think that. But perhaps the answer lies partially here:

If you love tennis, you would search for tennis teachers, read up on the best tennis rackets, read about theory and techniques. But you wouldn't really find much on those websites for "Why should I love tennis?" The fact that you're poking around on those websites pretty much means that generally, you are already quite interested in tennis. Nobody can "teach" it or tell you to love women. Furthermore, nobody can tell you what to love about women. Some guys might like athletic, intelligent types, others might like "cutesy" fashion-conscious types. Others still might just be so tired of being alone all they want is just ONE girl - any girl to love them. So game is more like: given you are interested in women, how do you get them?

In some ways, I think what drives many people to game is desperation - a lack of results and a frustration at the "traditional romantic script" (constricted pre-defined arenas of social engagement generally focusing on introductions, go on a coffee date, then a dinner date, then on the third date maybe if you like each other move to sex, etc) or they sense a "gap" between what women say and what women do. They feel frustrated that they seem to have no women who like them despite being otherwise very nice, successful guys.

The biggest shift most guys make in game is moving from trying to get every girl to sleep with them, to checking for affinity. I >wrote a post< on it a while back, I think it's relevant here to what you're asking.


After a search on the internet I found this titles:

Neil Strauss : The Game - Penetrating the secrets society of Pickup Artists
Neil Strauss: Rules of the Game
Robert Greene: The art of seduction
David Deida: The way of the superior man

Which one do you recommend for someone who wants to understand The Game ?
I would like to read Robert Greene, The art of seduction. Is it good as a starter ?

thank you :)
 
It's good to have clear boundaries.
But why is the game only as a foreplay ? If the Game is checking for affinity , you can play it even with someone you already know, isn't it ?

Well, game is usually about someone you don't know but would like to get to know, or sleep with.

After a search on the internet I found this titles:

Neil Strauss : The Game - Penetrating the secrets society of Pickup Artists
Neil Strauss: Rules of the Game
Robert Greene: The art of seduction
David Deida: The way of the superior man

Which one do you recommend for someone who wants to understand The Game ?
I would like to read Robert Greene, The art of seduction. Is it good as a starter ?

thank you :)

I would recommend "Models" by Mark Manson, or "The Alabaster Girl" by Zan Perrion, if you like honesty, or romance, retrospectively. They are the least "technique" focused and most "mindset" oriented books on game I have read, and as such are those I most recommend. Nether are applicable to Japan specifically, so while I think they are good I don't think they're anywhere near as useful as the book I'm writing with Dorian Gray at the moment (stay tuned)
 
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It's good to have clear boundaries.
But why is the game only as a foreplay ? If the Game is checking for affinity , you can play it even with someone you already know, isn't it ?
I tought PUA was about picking up a new girl, not playing the seduction game with a acquaintance. my bad :D
 
Well, game is usually about someone you don't know but would like to get to know, or sleep with

I'd say game is simply the process of developing sexual attraction and desire, could be with someone you just met or a long time acquaintance though the former is easier.

Everything else is just personal preference. Some people want a ton of sex, some want true love. Either way they need to establish attraction and for a LTR maintain it which can be quite the challenge! Not as rewarding as seducing a new partner either sadly.
 
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I'd say game is simply the process of developing sexual attraction and desire, could be with someone you just met or a long time acquaintance though the former is easier.

Everything else is just personal preference. Some people want a ton of sex, some want true love. Either way they need to establish attraction and for a LTR maintain it which can be quite the challenge! Not as rewarding as seducing a new partner either sadly.

Very true. I only said "usually" because most people choose to apply it to meeting new people, but game is for whoever you want!
 
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Well, game is usually about someone you don't know but would like to get to know, or sleep with.



I would recommend "Models" by Mark Manson, or "The Alabaster Girl" by Zan Perrion, if you like honesty, or romance, retrospectively. They are the least "technique" focused and most "mindset" oriented books on game I have read, and as such are those I most recommend. Nether are applicable to Japan specifically, so while I think they are good I don't think they're anywhere near as useful as the book I'm writing with Dorian Gray at the moment (stay tuned)

I started to read "The Alabaster Girl", I love it !
I watched some of Zan Perrion's interviews, the guy is absolutely amazing !
 
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You remind me of an old roommate. He was very smart and an overachiever, but sheltered as a kid and an only child. He always got what he wanted and would follow rules and guides for everything. I learned by living with him he was terribly selfish without having experience of really loving someone. No one we invited over to our place ever enjoyed his company and he was quick to remind us of "visitation hours" like we were in a fucking prison.

When you're fixated on your own needs, you'll only drive people away.

Review a few books on "active listening".

Try talking to chubby and ugly women. Maybe spend some time with old people. Befriend some people that offer you nothing in return and conversely see how many of them you can help. Volunteer at the Ueno homeless food courts.

That's when you'll then learn to love people and care about their wellbeing.

I was lucky in that I did one very long and crazy volunteer experience resulting in effortlessly making people I had just met feel relaxed and like we had known each other for awhile. In fact, that's what people tell me when I meet them the first time.

And then maybe women will want to share their moist orifices with you.

But for christ's sake don't run a botched, translated version of "the cube" routine on them in a noisy club or at the Shibuya Hub. If I hear one more ALT do that I may throw a pint across the room.
 
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You remind me of an old roommate. He was very smart and an overachiever, but sheltered as a kid and an only child. He always got what he wanted and would follow rules and guides for everything. I learned by living with him he was terribly selfish without having experience of really loving someone. No one we invited over to our place ever enjoyed his company and he was quick to remind us of "visitation hours" like we were in a fucking prison.

When you're fixated on your own needs, you'll only drive people away.

Review a few books on "active listening".

Try talking to chubby and ugly women. Maybe spend some time with old people. Befriend some people that offer you nothing in return and conversely see how many of them you can help. Volunteer at the Ueno homeless food courts.

That's when you'll then learn to love people and care about their wellbeing.

I was lucky in that I did one very long and crazy volunteer experience resulting in effortlessly making people I had just met feel relaxed and like we had known each other for awhile. In fact, that's what people tell me when I meet them the first time.

And then maybe women will want to share their moist orifices with you.

But for christ's sake don't run a botched, translated version of "the cube" routine on them in a noisy club or at the Shibuya Hub. If I hear one more ALT do that I may throw a pint across the room.

Kind of confused here.. Who is this directed towards?
 
You remind me of an old roommate. He was very smart and an overachiever, but sheltered as a kid and an only child. He always got what he wanted and would follow rules and guides for everything. I learned by living with him he was terribly selfish without having experience of really loving someone. No one we invited over to our place ever enjoyed his company and he was quick to remind us of "visitation hours" like we were in a fucking prison.

When you're fixated on your own needs, you'll only drive people away.

Review a few books on "active listening".

Try talking to chubby and ugly women. Maybe spend some time with old people. Befriend some people that offer you nothing in return and conversely see how many of them you can help. Volunteer at the Ueno homeless food courts.

That's when you'll then learn to love people and care about their wellbeing.

I was lucky in that I did one very long and crazy volunteer experience resulting in effortlessly making people I had just met feel relaxed and like we had known each other for awhile. In fact, that's what people tell me when I meet them the first time.

And then maybe women will want to share their moist orifices with you.

But for christ's sake don't run a botched, translated version of "the cube" routine on them in a noisy club or at the Shibuya Hub. If I hear one more ALT do that I may throw a pint across the room.


Out of context. You sound like you're drunk.
 
If you don't get it you'll never get the higher levels of the game. That's when they pay for your time.
 
I've been reading the threads about the Game lately and I feel like something is missing. There is a lot of information about techniques and rules to follow which is okay, it's very helpful to understand the anatomy of attraction, to be able to improve our own skills. But I thought I could find out more the needs/motivation, both men's and women's, what do they want from each other when it comes to relationship/sex/romance.

Sometimes, I feel like there is no interest in women, apart from having sex. I don't find the part about deep connection/romance, the right attitude or whatever is called.
I don't know much about it, I'm a newbie to the Game theory.

You're talking about the motivation, but like Sinapse said, it's no different than your love for a sport and trying to explain why you love said sport. Everyone has different motivations for why they get involved. In a lot of ways, you're asking "What is love," a question we've struggled to answer since the dawn of humanity. Here's a few different possibilities, but realize that they all vary from guy to guy:

Pride
When I engage with a girl, it's difficult. Following her for 5 minutes, trying to get her to participate in the conversation, working around her schedule to get to our first date, dealing with 10 flakes all while trying to maintain attraction over Line, addressing her concerns on the actual date, getting her all the way to my front door, only to have her vehemently refuse to come in, rinsing and repeating 5 or 10 times, building comfort when we're in bed together, then finally consummating the act. To some guys, the hunt, the challenge is the reward with the sex just being the trophy.

Emotional Connection
Then you have other guys who enjoy the courtship process. Personally, I fall in this category, as to me sex is just an expression of my feelings towards a girl. I like going on dates with girls and talking for several hours, learning about her and what string of events brought her to sitting at the table with me. Like as an example, when I was in the 11th grade, a good friend of mine showed me an episode of Love Hina, which got me interested in anime, and led me to major in Japanese in college. While in college, I watched Great Teacher Onizuka, and wanted to some day become a teacher in Japan. At the time though, it was just a dream, something I wanted to try one day but didn't have any serious motivations behind it. When I graduated college, I had trouble finding a job because my Japanese wasn't good enough. From there I decided to move to Japan, and being an ALT was the easiest way to get there. I had trouble ALT'ing at a very high level school in Roppongi, which introduced me to a guy that introduced me to my current school, who in turn made me into a high school homeroom teacher, realizing my dream of teaching high school in Japan. Just think, if my friend in the 11th grade had never showed me Love Hina, I never would have moved here and all the connections I've made here, the experiences I've had would not have happened! One seemingly meaningless incident set me on a path that redefined 15 years of my life. When I meet girls on dates, I want to find out those seemingly meaningless events that shaped their life.

True Love
This is a bit of a statistical approach to dating, but think about this. We are literally looking for our one in a million partner. Meaning a partner with the highest compatibility rating. If you consider there are 7 billion in the world, 3.5 billion women, that means you're looking for around 3500 perfect candidates that fit a 100% compatibility rating, then reduce that number even for available girls, in your age range, physically attractive girls, etc, you end up with a size of maybe a couple hundred girls on the face of the earth that have that high of a compatibility! What are the chances that your perfect woman is in your social circle? Higher than average, since you have like-minded people in your social circle, maybe similar hobbies, etc, but the chance is still remote as hell. So from a calculated point of view, you need to increase the size of your sample size to increase your chances of finding the perfect girl for you to spend the rest of your life with. Pick up is a way to accomplish this, by limiting yourself to the woman that are walking around the streets, chancing the bar or club you're going to, etc. Now, of course you don't need your perfectly 100% compatible girl, 90% is good enough, hell, 80% is good enough. However, people who limit their search to their social circle tend to run the risk of only seeing people who are like 50% compatible and end up in unhappy relationships. I'm not satisfied with that, I want the absolutely best I can get, not to mention I'd rather pick my future wife than have my social circle decide it for me.

Thing about these types of guys though, none of them are about the sex. Sex is just a kind of mile marker, so to speak. The journey getting to the sex is what's most important to most guys living in abundance (And of course, the sex is physically pleasing too!)


The thing is, books like "The Game," boot camps, youtube videos, etc all focus on the gamer, not the girl. We don't need help learning how to love women, we already do for a multitude of reasons! The guys on the path to game are learning HOW to get women they love. The easiest ways to do that are to focus on improving ourselves, and learning the basic process from start to finish. Moreover, talking about the why is not what sells. Telling men that if you follow these steps, you'll get better at attracting women is what sells. WHY you want to attract women is entirely up to you!