So in the past 2 and a half years I`ve received pay raises that allow me to have hundreds of thousands of yen in disposable income that I did not have before.
I still have been spending the same percentage of my disposable income on mid-level priced adult services though. This literally means I now go 3-4 times a week spending 2 or more hours at these places (We are talking cheap Sexy Pubs to Full blown services). The level and quality of services in this country are just so high, the ability to buy a incredibly cute 22 years old for 10000 yen an hour make-out sessions has to be only Japan.
Lately I`ve become null to it all, no real pleasure in these acts, just going through the motions for human contact.
I feel like a druggie, I need to get my hit, but the actual hits don`t make me feel anything. Go to these sexy pubs and while it might be nice to get a massage, I I feel like just going through the motions if the girls come on to me.
Was curious if anyone else has seeked helped for this type of addiction?
Thanks!
@okayspot thanks for starting this thread. Acknowledging you have an issue is the first step, it's imortant to get things off your chest and there's some great advice from TAG members as usual. Personally, I have quite an addictive personality so the discussion struck a chord. Fortunately I have always been able to realise things are spiralling out of control or lucky enough that friends or professionals have intervened. I do not think I can give any hard and fast advice, your situation is unique to you, but maybe there are some basic suggestions:
1) Disrupt the pattern
2) Step back and try to understand what is driving this behaviour
3) Decide how to place limits on your activity or decide to stop completely ("go cold turkey")
4) Address the fundamental reasons for the unhappiness that is driving the unhealthy habits (this takes a lot of time and you may never vanquish your demons)
Some examples from my life:
Gaming - realised I was losing it when I played overnight the weekend before my end of high school exams - got lucky (with questions) and did fine on the exams - was so shook up about it that I have never gamed since
Alcohol - whilst at university my family doctor asked me about my alcohol consumption (I halved it) and took a blood test in the knowledge I had been drinking the night before. She prodded me in my liver and it hurt like hell. A few days later she called me, pointed out that 8 hours after stopping drinking I had been 5 times the legal driving limit, she thought I was lying about my consumption and she expected me to die by the age of 30 if I didn't moderate my behaviour. I started driving a lot more when going out with friends (I never drink and drive) and resolved to never drink alone. I have pretty much managed to stick to this approach and with age I have followed the classic "premiumisation" route, spending more on quality alcohol and consuming less when I do drink
P4P - I have been lucky that it has never really been an addiction or got out of hand. It kind of happened by accident (helping a business partner navigate a soapland) and although I have been tempted in my home country, I simply made it a red line to only ever do it in Japan.
So, my P4P experience is probably not helpful, but I would suggest you try to do less and "better" as a first step. Maybe decide to only play during the week (to limit opportunities) or at weekends or a set number of times per week/month.
As others have already said. exercising is good for stress management and overall mental health, whatever the reasons that are driving your unhappiness, exercse will help with it. Also, if you look and feel fitter, the sex is better. You'll feel more confident and your providers will probably be more into it as well.
I hope that is helpful, in case it sounds like I am lecturing, I am still battling my food consumption (we all need to eat and I love food) and to manage to exercise enough (back issues mean I can no longer run which I had become mildly addicted to (a "good" addiction as other have mentioned). I am typically 10-15 kgs overweight when working. In fact my work life was so out of balance (insane boss) I quit my job and am currently considering my next move. We all have our demons, thanks for sharing and good luck vanquishing them!