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Almost Sugar Advice Needed

steve969696

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This is not a sugar situation yet, but I am guessing you guys know the most about emotional attachment. Here is the situation.

Happily married in sexless marriage (oxymoron?). I do P4P worldwide and she doesn’t know or pretends she doesn’t. And so we are both happy.

Always meet girls I like, but I just found a unicorn in Brazil. A true ten in all categories, the most important of which is kissing. Pure heaven on earth. But a ten in looks too. No lie. And really sweet (I know, I know, that’s why I call her Thifany the Unicorn).

Anyhow I am smitten and think about her a lot. And we’ve written back and forth some and she’s sent photos. Wow. I pinged her today (we met last week) and said how much I liked her and she came right back and said she really likes me and had the best night of her life. I am old enough to know the game but she is young enough to be completely sincere. (Maybe)

I am seriously considering flying her for a meetup. It’s about $1000. I of course know to buy the tickets myself — we do after all barely know each other (save having had passionate sex twice). But what are the other watch outs here? Clearly emotional attachment on either side. Some other possible scam?
Sleeping full nights together with me snoring up a storm — maybe learning each other’s faults.

The meetup would be in another country so no real danger of running into friends or the like.

Am I crazy? Or just a love struck adventurer. Any and all thoughts welcome.
 
Why not go for it... I mean if you don't mind paying $1000 for a plane ticket....(Make Sure It is Non-Refundable Ticket) and the hotel and food and don't forget you will need to compensate her for the time you spend together.. (I recommend cash not gifts - as cash pays for things gifts cant) Have all of these details sorted out before you book the ticket. If she says up to you on her time compensation - I would suggest that you tell her..." best for her to say what she wants so there is no misunderstanding later".

Once you agree then execute... When you are together, then keep your valuables locked up or hidden (Wallet, Watch, Jewlery, cash, etc...) This is just good common sense... why invite the opportunity... that is unless you want to test her... but usually the cash you are willing to lose would be less than she is willing to take (if she does take it) Mind you I'm not saying she will steal from you, but if the opportunity presents itself, then there is that risk.

If she is from a less fortunate background and uses money she earns to send home, then you need to understand the amount of money that can help her and her family - this is an assumption, not a rule.

If you put all your stuff in a hotel safe and she calls you on it... then just say... "Oh it's habit... You don't know who can sneak into the room when you are asleep" or something similar. Do not invite her to put her things in the safe as well.... make her ask... cuz then she would need to code to open the safe...;)

Other scams commonly used:
-Sick relative so they need cash
- relative involved in accident so need cash
- last minute change in an attempt to cash out the ticket. This is common with refundable tickets or Business Class tickets (or first class) Some women will say they only fly business class for this reason... and leave you high and dry after they have cashed in the ticket - so I've read and heard...

It seems you are "Smitten" with her which is a nice feeling, but don't let those feelings cloud your common sense... More often than not, if you are not scamming people then you don't know what the scams are unless you have been a victim or read about them... This "element of surprise" is the advantage...for the scammer....

Not sure if this helps you or not...

Good luck and keep us updated on how it went if you move forward with it.
 
Awesome advice. Especially the “go for it” part. Seriously good advice on what to watch out for. That’s why I love these forums.

PS You can find all ten full reports on my Brazil adventures including Thifany on ISG São Paulo thread. Starts about four pages back. Lots of content
 
This is not a sugar situation yet, but I am guessing you guys know the most about emotional attachment. Here is the situation.

Happily married in sexless marriage (oxymoron?). I do P4P worldwide and she doesn’t know or pretends she doesn’t. And so we are both happy.

Always meet girls I like, but I just found a unicorn in Brazil. A true ten in all categories, the most important of which is kissing. Pure heaven on earth. But a ten in looks too. No lie. And really sweet (I know, I know, that’s why I call her Thifany the Unicorn).

Anyhow I am smitten and think about her a lot. And we’ve written back and forth some and she’s sent photos. Wow. I pinged her today (we met last week) and said how much I liked her and she came right back and said she really likes me and had the best night of her life. I am old enough to know the game but she is young enough to be completely sincere. (Maybe)

I am seriously considering flying her for a meetup. It’s about $1000. I of course know to buy the tickets myself — we do after all barely know each other (save having had passionate sex twice). But what are the other watch outs here? Clearly emotional attachment on either side. Some other possible scam?
Sleeping full nights together with me snoring up a storm — maybe learning each other’s faults.

The meetup would be in another country so no real danger of running into friends or the like.

Am I crazy? Or just a love struck adventurer. Any and all thoughts welcome.

No, you’re not crazy. Happens to all of us to have feelings sometimes (cough cough..)
Btw congratulations for having a happily sexless marriage. Im not ironical, really admirative. Its not an easy thing to do.

Flew my SB to Thailand when I was on holiday there but the situation was a bit different: we knew each other for 6 months already. Dont you think its a bit soon? How did you meet her? On SA or similar site? Is she an escort ?

She would need to trust you enough to give you her passport details though. After just 2 dates it might be a stretch.
 
Met her at a club called Fazendinha outside of Campinas Brazil. The format in Brazil is called a Boate, which is a nightclub but with bar fine and onsite hotel. If you’ve never been you must go to Brazil. Top models like Thifany are $125/hr no joke. Plus bar tab and room fees. I paid $550 for my five hours there including drinks for me and the girls. One round with Thifany and one round with Thifany and friend. Tokyo it ain’t!

Anyhow the chemistry was undeniable. In the club we would kiss for like ten minutes straight. Best kisser EVER, displacing reigning queen Honey at [Redacted]! (Whom u should try) I only realized the next day that I was always the one who stopped kissing . Never her. Not exactly escort behavior. And in the room, she ended up rimming me for like ten minutes and even when I went to adjust at about 5 mins she just dived in for more. I have to say if she is not into me she is by far the best actress I’ve ever met.

Trying to be cautious because I am so smitten but it certainly seems genuine.
 
Met her at a club called Fazendinha outside of Campinas Brazil. The format in Brazil is called a Boate, which is a nightclub but with bar fine and onsite hotel. If you’ve never been you must go to Brazil. Top models like Thifany are $125/hr no joke. Plus bar tab and room fees. I paid $550 for my five hours there including drinks for me and the girls. One round with Thifany and one round with Thifany and friend. Tokyo it ain’t!

Anyhow the chemistry was undeniable. In the club we would kiss for like ten minutes straight. Best kisser EVER, displacing reigning queen Honey at [Redacted]! (Whom u should try) I only realized the next day that I was always the one who stopped kissing . Never her. Not exactly escort behavior. And in the room, she ended up rimming me for like ten minutes and even when I went to adjust at about 5 mins she just dived in for more. I have to say if she is not into me she is by far the best actress I’ve ever met.

Trying to be cautious because I am so smitten but it certainly seems genuine.

Yeah but it takes more than great sex to qualify such relationships as “genuine” and I’m not even sure what you consider genuine , nor is it so important to be completely authentic to have a satisfying story. Anyway thats a different topic.
It’s more the newness of the relationship which would make me err on the side of caution. For all you know she might have links to the local mob etc... but maybe I’m too paranoid. You would need to trust her a lot and vice-versa.
 
Well we will see how it progresses at various stages. We will have to talk money soon and maybe our expectations are misaligned. And I have to lay down some rules about the fact that I am totally into her but my marriage is important to maintain and she has to give me her passport number.

Many derailments can occur. Let us see where it goes...
 
@BB0523
Great post bro.

I agree the OP should go for it.

Down side is losing $1k
Even then, if you wind up by yourself you can prob find some action to allievate the sadness.
 
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Meet up would be in London. Don't think she needs a visa there according to the web. The clear upside to London is far from home base and no visa. The downside is I was choosing between 7 Romanian hotties for 4 sessions. And now if I bringThifany, then I forego the RoGirls completely. Clearly I really, really like her.

On the other hand if thins go south my RoGirls are waiting.
 
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it takes more than great sex to qualify such relationships as “genuine”

Agreed...shows anything can happen! This is the biggest flashing red warning sign in your situation imo; it sounds like you are motivated mostly by her quality as a sex partner and that can easily make a guy blind to other considerations.

I’m too paranoid. You would need to trust her a lot and vice-versa.

Also agreed.

I too definitely think you should go for it. There are risks, but the upside is very very high up there.

Fwiiw, I think @BB0523 is also too paranoid. My advice would be to go easy on all those precautions against being ripped off. Imo, worrying about someone being dishonest and trying to defend against their possible dishonesty makes them (much) more likely to be dishonest. Trusting them makes them more likely to be trustworthy. This isn't foolproof, but it is the way to bet I think.

As a specific example, I'd do the financing of the ticket in such a way that she can cash it in (or just send her the money to buy the ticket herself) and no show on you if she so chooses. If she does, you've lost $1000 but probably avoided considerably larger losses and almost certainly saved yourself some pain down the line. And it seems that you can afford the $1000 loss. If she doesn't rip you off for the plane fare, she will feel good about it, will appreciate and value your faith in her, and you will have evidence (not proof) that she will be honest in her future dealings with you. And unless you want to be watching your back with her indefinitely, you are going to have to trust her at some point. Best to do it early and find out asap.

-Ww
 
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Agreed...shows anything can happen! This is the biggest flashing red warning sign in your situation Imo; it sounds like you are motivated mostly by her quality as a sex partner and that can easily make a guy blind to other considerations.



Also agreed.

I too definitely think you should go for it. There are risks, but the upside is very very high up there.

Fwiiw, I think @BB0523 is also too paranoid. My advice would be to go easy on all those precautions against being ripped off. Imo, worrying about someone being dishonest and trying to defend against their possible dishonesty makes them (much) more likely to be dishonest. Trusting them makes them more likely to be trustworthy. This isn't foolproof, but it is the way to bet I think.

As a specific example, I'd do the financing of the ticket in such a way that she can cash it in (or just send her the money to buy the ticket herself) and no show on you if she so chooses. If she does, you've lost $1000 but probably avoided considerably larger losses and almost certainly saved yourself some pain down the line. And it seems that you can afford the $1000 loss. If she doesn't rip you off for the plane fare, she will feel good about it, like you trust her, and you will have evidence (not proof) that she will be honest in her future dealings with you. And unless you want to be watching your back with her indefinitely, you are going to have to trust her at some point. Best to do it early and find out asap.

-Ww

We REALLY are different Ww!!:eek:
seriously?! You would just send a Brazilian escort the cash for her to buy a $1000 ticket, after just 2 encounters... wow!
 
As a lady I agree with @Wwanderer as you guys are talking about the risk you are taking that she might steal the money and run or show up and steal things and then run, she too is taking a risk that you might kill her, sell her into slavery, hurt her and leave her with nothing and no way to get home, or even last minute cancel the ticket on her and leave her embarrassed at the airport so trust is a two way street that is hard to cross.

If you can afford to lose $1,000 (as you clearly can if you're offering to spend that, and more, on a lady) then imo you should trust her with that and let her decide to keep her end of the bargain or not. If she bails on you then you are out $1,000 but have learned a valuable if not slightly expensive lesson in heartbreak, but have in the long term saved money from not having to pay into someone with time and cash who was clearly stringing you on to wring you dry and maybe cause even greater drama.
If she does show up then you've given her proof that you are safe and trustworthy, which is a kindness and trust that is priceless, you aren't inviting any negativity, she won't think or feel you're trying to use her, you'll actually be creating a relationship based on mutual trust and some respect.

Of course try to use your big head, if she's constantly asking for more money before the trip or coming up with reasons for you to send her cash without her showing up at all be a little hesitant, but if she seems interested in the idea of a trip and you can come to an open and honest agreement for it then absolutely jump in and have fun!
 
We REALLY are different Ww!!

We most definitely are, and to be brutally honest, I 1 - am glad, and 2 - know that far far more people would agree with you than with me on this and many other things. Everyone who knows me well seems to think I'm quite strange, but my ways of doing things has worked out well for me over the years. Very well indeed imo.

seriously?! You would just send a Brazilian escort the cash for her to buy a $1000 ticket, after just 2 encounters... wow!

Well, in the first place I probably wouldn't fly a Brazilian escort I'd met in a bar to spend time with me in London after just two encounters. But if I were going to do it, then yes, seriously I would trust her for the plane fare...for the reasons I tried to explain in my post. And as you said yourself, "You would need to trust her a lot and vice-versa." What sort of trust did you have in mind?

-Ww
 
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As a lady I agree with @Wwanderer as you guys are talking about the risk you are taking that she might steal the money and run or show up and steal things and then run, she too is taking a risk that you might kill her, sell her into slavery, hurt her and leave her with nothing and no way to get home, or even last minute cancel the ticket on her and leave her embarrassed at the airport so trust is a two way street that is hard to cross. ...

Thanks for explaining the point more clearly than I did.

Imo, this disparity of views is due to most guys, especially mongers, seeing money as the most important and valuable asset "on the table" and at risk. It isn't, not even close, it seems to me.

-Ww
 
We most definitely are, and to be brutally honest, I 1 - am glad, and 2 - know that far far more people would agree with you than with me on this and many other things. Everyone who knows me well seems to think I'm quite strange, but my ways of doing things has worked out well for me over the years. Very well indeed imo.



Well, in the first place I probably wouldn't fly a Brazilian escort I'd met in a bar to spend time with me in London after just two encounters. But if I were going to do it, then yes, seriously I would...for the reasons I tried to explain in my post. And as you said yourself, "You would need to trust her a lot and vice-versa." What sort of trust did you have in mind?

-Ww

It was not just about the money, I gave the wrong impression, sorry... could be all the fears that DanniCake mentioned (on both sides). Anyway, doesnt matter , you said it better yourself when mentioning that you would probably not do it anyway.
One item also to be kept in mind: while in London the lady could have problems not related at all to her honesty or lack thereof. For instance when my girl was in Thailand she got lost and I freaked out. I made sure afterwards I have emergency contact names/numbers in her home country just in case . That also requires a lot of trust.
 
It was not just about the money, I gave the wrong impression, sorry... could be all the fears that DanniCake mentioned (on both sides). Anyway, doesnt matter , you said it better yourself when mentioning that you would probably not do it anyway.

I *probably* wouldn't, but tbh, I've done crazier/riskier things in the past and have sometimes been burned and sometimes been rewarded. Gambling on people is even more fascinating and exciting than gambling on cards, neh?

-Ww
 
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I *probably* wouldn't, but tbh, I've done crazier/riskier things in the past and have sometimes been burned and sometimes been rewarded. Gambling on people is even more fascinating and exciting than gambling on cards, neh?

-Ww

I don’t gamble, I invest... :)
 
Fwiiw, I think @BB0523 is also too paranoid

@Wwanderer is correct, however OP asked what other scams he should look out for so that's the reasoning behind my post...
We all take risks and we all have reaped the benefits or results based on those risks..
I'm a trusting person by nature, but it doesn't mean I go in without my eyes open to the risks...
The responses are quite nice FWIIW
 
Well, in the first place I probably wouldn't fly a Brazilian escort I'd met in a bar to spend time with me in London after just two encounters. But if I were going to do it, then yes, seriously I would trust her for the plane fare...for the reasons I tried to explain in my post.

I didn't express myself very well on this point. Perhaps a better way of putting it would be to say that any woman I'd trust enough to be comfortable vacationing/traveling/cohabiting with in another country (however I met her and however well or little I knew her), I'd also trust not to rip me off on the air fare.

There is also a practical logistical advantage to having her book and pay for the ticket herself. Namely, she will be able to handle any last minute travel glitches much more easily that way. This situation actually occurred for an SB of mine I was flying to Tokyo in late July; her flight was canceled at the last minute (less than 12 hours in advance), and she had to rebook with a different airline to avoid missing a significant chunk of her limited time in Japan. She was able to do this fairly easily and without the delay of getting me back in the loop to pay for a different ticket etc only because she had bought the ticket herself originally (which I reimbursed of course).

-Ww
 
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Some truly great advice here and that is why I love you guys. My second family! Well guess what?

It’s on! She is very enthused. We’ve been back and forth today on a WhatsApp and have most of the details sorted. Will finalize some loose ends tomorrow. And then start counting the seconds!

Wish me luck!
 
Some truly great advice here and that is why I love you guys. My second family! Well guess what?

It’s on! She is very enthused. We’ve been back and forth today on a WhatsApp and have most of the details sorted. Will finalize some loose ends tomorrow. And then start counting the seconds!

Wish me luck!
Good Luck
Your Second Family :D
 
Some truly great advice here and that is why I love you guys. My second family! Well guess what?

It’s on! She is very enthused. We’ve been back and forth today on a WhatsApp and have most of the details sorted. Will finalize some loose ends tomorrow. And then start counting the seconds!

Wish me luck!

Good luck.

And when can we expect to see your report on how it all turns out?

-Ww
 
So just a little more detail here and a few clarifications. Sex is definitely not clouding things but I do have that butterflies feeling when I was with her. Just makes me feel like a million bucks.

I can say it’s assuredly not about sex, because I’ve been with girls that are better in the sack — and stellar looking — even on this same trip. We spent 2 hours in bed (1 of which with her hot friend) but 3 hours in the club just kissing and hanging out and it was magical.

The truly funny thing (and now you will really think I’m crazy) is that my Português is better than her English! Ha! But it’s fun to muddle through together. Just a great life experience. We’ve both committed to upping our language game before London.

We settled on financials very amicably and she is quite cognizant of the flight and hotel expense so her fee is very reasonable. We also agreed that I love my wife and we will never be more than BFGF. And that, having agreed same, will never speak of that again.

So I think this is on a good vector. Given the above advice and being a “glass is significantly more than 50% full” kind of guy I will send her the money for the ticket. Maybe I’ll be eating my hat later but right now it feels right.
 
Oh and report out will be in October. Unless I decide to do a day by day, like I did in São Paulo in which case a bit earlier (if enjoy reading detailed reports you really should read mine on ISG. I reported faithfully everyday — all ten girls. Experience of a lifetime) And now hopefully extending beyond Brazil!
 
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