Any advice or tips on hookups in Tokyo?

[souraj14]

I'm a 25 year old, Indian, brown skin, average looking guy, living in Japan for 2 years now. I was a student in Kitakyushu and have recently moved to Tokyo a month back for my permanent job. I speak decent Japanese. I am a complete loser in the hookup or ONS thing. I tried going to bars and clubs all over Japan but could not manage to have even a single hookup. Tinder and other dating apps gave me the same result. Now that I am in Tokyo atleast for the near future, I would like to get some advice as in where to go and what to do in order to finally succeed in what I am trying for a long time. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

 

[Keihan]

I'm a 25 year old, Indian, brown skin, average looking guy, living in Japan for 2 years now. I was a student in Kitakyushu and have recently moved to Tokyo a month back for my permanent job. I speak decent Japanese. I am a complete loser in the hookup or ONS thing. I tried going to bars and clubs all over Japan but could not manage to have even a single hookup. Tinder and other dating apps gave me the same result. Now that I am in Tokyo atleast for the near future, I would like to get some advice as in where to go and what to do in order to finally succeed in what I am trying for a long time. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

I won't sugarcoat this and will give you as honest of an answer as possible.

During my years in Japan, every Japanese girl I ever dated passionately hated Indians. Granted, I was in Osaka, which is not a particularly cosmopolitan place and the locals aren't particularly bright, but it was an almost universal thing. And it's not because of a lack of contact with ethnic Indians--I lived a mile away from the Panasonic/National headquarters, so there were lots of Indian engineers constantly around town. No, every single girl I dated hated Indian men (and women) and all had the same reasons: they're dishonest, they lie and cannot be trusted.

At the same time, one of my co-workers for my first two years in Japan was an Indian fellow who had emigrated to Australia as a young man and had taken a gig in Japan for the sole purpose of scoring pussy. He was quite a bit older than the rest of us (I was 23, he was probably mid to late 30s), he was thin to the point of looking emaciated, he was ugly as sin, but he was probably the horniest piece of shit I ever worked with and had zero shame and I shit you not, he probably scored more ass than any guy I worked with. He would fuck anything that moved--fat girls, housewives, old ladies, schoolgirls--and despite looking like Ebenezer Scrooge's ugly Indian cousin in a cheap suit, could talk his way into the panties of almost any ugly to marginally-unattractive chubby 30yo secretary in three beers flat.

My point? Your ethnicity and appearance aren't going to help you at all in Japan, but if you're going two years straight with zero success you need to 1) lower your standards, 2) grow a pair and 3) get your fucking drink on and shoot for the stars. You're already handicapped by your race and appearance in a mindlessly bigoted country--being a pussy and acting shy and introverted is only going to guarantee you spend the rest of your days in Japan tearfully masturbating yourself to sleep.

 

[souraj14]

I won't sugarcoat this and will give you as honest of an answer as possible.

During my years in Japan, every Japanese girl I ever dated passionately hated Indians. Granted, I was in Osaka, which is not a particularly cosmopolitan place and the locals aren't particularly bright, but it was an almost universal thing. And it's not because of a lack of contact with ethnic Indians--I lived a mile away from the Panasonic/National headquarters, so there were lots of Indian engineers constantly around town. No, every single girl I dated hated Indian men (and women) and all had the same reasons: they're dishonest, they lie and cannot be trusted.

At the same time, one of my co-workers for my first two years in Japan was an Indian fellow who had emigrated to Australia as a young man and had taken a gig in Japan for the sole purpose of scoring pussy. He was quite a bit older than the rest of us (I was 23, he was probably mid to late 30s), he was thin to the point of looking emaciated, he was ugly as sin, but he was probably the horniest piece of shit I ever worked with and had zero shame and I shit you not, he probably scored more ass than any guy I worked with. He would fuck anything that moved--fat girls, housewives, old ladies, schoolgirls--and despite looking like Ebenezer Scrooge's ugly Indian cousin in a cheap suit, could talk his way into the panties of almost any ugly to marginally-unattractive chubby 30yo secretary in three beers flat.

My point? Your ethnicity and appearance aren't going to help you at all in Japan, but if you're going two years straight with zero success you need to 1) lower your standards, 2) grow a pair and 3) get your fucking drink on and shoot for the stars. You're already handicapped by your race and appearance in a mindlessly bigoted country--being a pussy and acting shy and introverted is only going to guarantee you spend the rest of your days in Japan tearfully masturbating yourself to sleep.

Thanks man. I really appreciate your honesty.

 

[dolceandbanana]

Dress up. I'm not talking a suit or even necessarily high street designer. Average looking guys have a lot more luck in Japan when they dress well. The right outfit in the right setting works wonders here.

 

[dolceandbanana]

Your ethnicity and appearance aren't going to help you at all in Japan

I know Indian guys who absolutely crush it here. Granted they are white collar, London educated, and dapper as fuck - there are definitely girls here who are into Indian men. My hot assistant from a few years ago (skinny Japanese but somehow with a big, round African booty) married an Indian guy and fucked off to Bangalore.

Also, get to Indonesia after covid if you can. My Indian buddies down there got a ton of pussy, Javanese women seem very pro Indian

 

[joeking]

Get (or be) a wingman. For japanese, there is safety in numbers and someone talking to you and you talking to them reduces anxiety. Japanese women are often in pairs, the only tricky part is if you start competing for the same one.

 

[namae]

Try and put yourself in places where women are interested in Indian culture.

- join a yoga class
- attend all those free yoga in the park events
- attend Indian events and festivals in Tokyo
- look at Meetup and Facebook and find groups focused on Indian culture/food.

Don't get too hung up on being "Indian" .... you may be striking out for reasons that have nothing to do with your nationality, ethnic background or skin color. This is Japan, and the average Japanese women wants to meet and date a Japanese man. Just from your brief intro., it seems you have some positives going for you - your young, single, educated and speak Japanese. Keep building on the positives.

 

[Desktop]

Get a hobby that includes women.
Being friends with pretty women has value they have other pretty friends.
During Corona it’s also valid that people might not be out as much as before.

 

[hrbb]

Work out regularly. Good hygiene, etiquette etc.

 

[MikeH]

Work out regularly. Good hygiene, etiquette etc.

Learn to love yourself and accept your body and mind as they are.

And pay for the hookups, that's the only time you can be sure the girl really wants to make you feel good and come as fast as you can.

 

[souraj14]

Thank you for all your advice and tips. I will do the best I can.

 

[Arusan]

I'm a 25 year old, Indian, brown skin, average looking guy, living in Japan for 2 years now. I was a student in Kitakyushu and have recently moved to Tokyo a month back for my permanent job. I speak decent Japanese. I am a complete loser in the hookup or ONS thing. I tried going to bars and clubs all over Japan but could not manage to have even a single hookup. Tinder and other dating apps gave me the same result. Now that I am in Tokyo atleast for the near future, I would like to get some advice as in where to go and what to do in order to finally succeed in what I am trying for a long time. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

So far as i saw in My experience i will say :

Just try to be care with your personal care and image, I mean, dress nice and well. I think a huge plus is that, Japanese ladys really likes a good hair and skin. More than handsome you must e stylish, classy and educated, you dont need to go luxury, you just can dress in black (but well) and thats all.
For sure you can make it.

Sadly, against you is prejudice since people from India are not well regarded because, for example, you can see them very messy on the street.
So, do an effort in that sense and take care of yourself and of course don’t be a jerk.

Having dates here and being foreigner puts you in the constant position of being ghosted so get used to that too. If you get the dates, Some people will be looking to spend the time, get a free drink / dinner or sometimes, sadly just a selfish interest so be care . Theres is a lot of lies in that app mostly from male side so girls don’t react well neither, so try to be cold too man. If you are searching on tinder, will not work i think, try to use bumble and use good photos, be a gentleman. Remember that you are in a country where the class is the most important thing above everything.

good luck.

 

[JohnOsaka]

I won't sugarcoat this and will give you as honest of an answer as possible.

During my years in Japan, every Japanese girl I ever dated passionately hated Indians.

So the typical, "If you ain't white, you ain't right" bit I always read about Asian chicks.

 

[Frenchy]

So the typical, "If you ain't white, you ain't right" bit I always read about Asian chicks.

Not sure about that but there is definitely something with some Indian men that some ladies find scary or repulsive. I concur with @Keihan on this one as I heard the same kind of comments from many ladies I know.
Which by the way in my personal experience is weird coz I know a few Indian guys and find them very kind and smart. Not that they tried to get intimate though

 

[Sudsy]

there is definitely something with some Indian men that some ladies find scary or repulsive

The vast majority of staffers from the region that I have dealt with have been reliable workers with decent ethics, and some of the best people I've had the pleasure to work with. A small minority have been serious problem employees, and rarely lasted out their contract before we put them on a plane. That small minority are the guys that creep women (and quite honestly, men too) out.

From my time in HR, I can honestly say that more than 70% of our sexual harassment claims were levelled at staff from South Asia, and that the accused staffers were generally facing multiple accusations. To make it a little more clear, let's say as an example that we had 100 sexual harassment cases. 70 of them involved South Asian men as the accused, but 10 men were the accused in 65 of those cases. If you omit those outliers, our South Indian staff had a lower rate of behavioural problems than any other ethnic group - and that's including Japanese.

It's unfortunate that this minority does such a job of screwing it up for everyone else.