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Any regrets?

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This is a topic I haven't really seen much about recently.

Have any of you plunged into the wonderful world of - for the lack of a more creative euphemism - adult nightlife and later regretted it?

I just can't stop to think that long-term partaking in these highly appealing activities is like playing with fire and eventually getting burned.

This is not really about providers offering a poor quality of service. In that case you can just count your losses, leave a bad review, and move on. In my limited experience this is also not too much of an issue in Japan.

What I am on about is more on an emotional or personal level; i.e. have your endeavors screwed up your relationship(s) with others or perhaps your professional life? How did things work out in the end?
 
I think I understand what you are talking about.

If you mean it changing your attitude toward sex, I think that is a possibility.

I primarily used P4P to get the kind of sex that takes too much arranging or waiting for too many circumstances to fall into place. Like threesomes and sex with transgenders.

After becoming accustomed to that kind of sex I found it difficult being satisfied with the normal vanilla type sex you get in most relationships.
 
Come to think of it maybe you would get more relevant answers from sex-addict recovery groups (for example), i suppose that people on TAG are here because , well, they like this lifestyle and are not too much into regrets.
 
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Come to think of it maybe you would get more relevant answers from sex-addict recovery groups (for example), i suppose that people on TAG are here because , well, they like this lifestyle and are not too much into regrets.

I'd be willing to wager that there are several sex addicts in here.

I'm probably one of them, and I do sometimes regret not being able to maintain a traditional relationship, especially around the holidays.
 
I'd be willing to wager that there are several sex addicts in here.

I'm probably one of them, and I do sometimes regret not being able to maintain a traditional relationship, especially around the holidays.

You could technically have a traditional relationship and use P4P sometimes though, right?
 
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No regrets at all, aside from the one time I had a provider show up and promptly OD, necessitating the summoning of emergency services.
 
You could technically have a traditional relationship and use P4P sometimes though, right?

It has more to do with being a sex addict than using P4P.

Personally, I would find it difficult because I hate sneaking around. On moral grounds, lying bothers me and breaking promises bothers me even more.

Perhaps that is the real reason I avoid relationships.
 
Personally, I would find it difficult because I have hate sneaking around.

This is actually why I prefer P4P to other sorts of arrangements. There's no emotional entanglement.

I engage in P4P, but I don't otherwise stray - outside of P4P I haven't touched a woman other than my wife or female relatives beyond a handshake in years. Maybe decades.
 
This is actually why I prefer P4P to other sorts of arrangements. There's no emotional entanglement.

I engage in P4P, but I don't otherwise stray - outside of P4P I haven't touched a woman other than my wife or female relatives beyond a handshake in years. Maybe decades.

To me marriage is the most difficult juggling act on the planet. You have to keep a number of unwieldy objects in the air 24/7 for years on end.

It isn't like you are juggling objects that were designed to be juggled either. You are forced to juggle shit like broken whiskey bottles, vials of nitro, dirty diapers, mortgages, Tasmanian Devils, inlaws, college tuition, car payments, insurance premiums.

What does your spouse do? She isn't out there helping you keep all that shit in the air. She is running around backstage looking for more objects to toss you.

Believe me, I understand why you duck out once in a while to go see a massage girl.

I just resent being in a situation where I feel the need to be deceptive, so I avoid it.
 
No regrets at all, aside from the one time I had a provider show up and promptly OD, necessitating the summoning of emergency services.

Good on you for calling and not worrying about having to chat with the cops.

There are some people who would panic and make the horrible decision of not calling an ambulance.

Not calling would have only made it worse.

Most cops aren't looking to put people in a jam, when there is no need for it.
 
It isn't like you are juggling objects that were designed to be juggled either. You are forced to juggle shit like broken whiskey bottles, vials of nitro, dirty diapers, mortgages, Tasmanian Devils, inlaws, college tuition, car payments, insurance premiums.

I don't particularly agree with your perspective, but that is one great and compelling image you create in the above quoted paragraph...tells me that you know what you are talking about. It does keep the adrenaline flowing, you gotta admit!

Tasmanian Devils!!

-Ww
 
I don't particularly agree with your perspective, but that is one great and compelling image you create in the above quoted paragraph...tells me that you know what you are talking about. It does keep the adrenaline flowing, you gotta admit!

Tasmanian Devils!!

-Ww

I made the mistake of committing myself to someone who wasn't worth it. I really felt like I was in a circus act and the ringmaster, and clowns were sadistic and hellbent on seeing me implode.

Having her family visit was very much like watching a Baptist clown car pull up to the house and discharge a parade of unfriendly uptight religious clowns, who would occasionally be nice to borrow money.

I just don't have the desire to try that again. Yeah, I could easily marry a more compatible person, but I'm not up for it yet.
 
@Jbagz - To the extent you are describing your personal perspective on marriage and not making a general comment on the institution, I have no basis to disagree if course. Moreover, your explanation of why you feel that way is very persuasive and compelling.

-Ww
 
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I made the mistake of committing myself to someone who wasn't worth it. I really felt like I was in a circus act and the ringmaster, and clowns were sadistic and hellbent on seeing me implode.

Having her family visit was very much like watching a Baptist clown car pull up to the house and discharge a parade of unfriendly uptight religious clowns, who would occasionally be nice to borrow money.

I just don't have the desire to try that again. Yeah, I could easily marry a more compatible person, but I'm not up for it yet.

The problem with compatibility is that its never a sure thing , it changes, it usually (not always) decreases, but the marriage-ism propaganda is to make you believe (or act as if) it should last forever. Dont be "up for it again" too soon!
 
Good on you for calling and not worrying about having to chat with the cops.

There are some people who would panic and make the horrible decision of not calling an ambulance.

Not calling would have only made it worse.

Most cops aren't looking to put people in a jam, when there is no need for it.

I was in a place where there was nothing illegal going on, aside from the escort's use of opiates.

Now that I think it over, though, I guess I don't really regret that encounter - at least she OD'd around someone who knew what to do instead of some poor fool who'd have no idea what was going on.

Was definitely not the afternoon I'd had in mind, though.
 
I made the mistake of committing myself to someone who wasn't worth it. I really felt like I was in a circus act and the ringmaster, and clowns were sadistic and hellbent on seeing me implode.

Having her family visit was very much like watching a Baptist clown car pull up to the house and discharge a parade of unfriendly uptight religious clowns, who would occasionally be nice to borrow money.

I just don't have the desire to try that again. Yeah, I could easily marry a more compatible person, but I'm not up for it yet.

Ouchie. Been there more than once.
 
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Never used P4P but I went from juggling between 3-4 very young sexfriends almost on a daily basis to being in a stable relationship with a young lady ... which I'm still doing ... and I kind of regret those times of physical/emotional diversity while I'm now enjoying the less risky sexual behaviour and the much more profound feelings.
 
No regrets here, since ironically P4P has been more truthful and accessible to me. Time and again I am told I would be a great boyfriend or husband, yet I have been single for 99.9% of my adult life because no-one will express their interest in me. Those that do offer some encouragement and I find attractive are already taken. When I raise my concerns about being frustrated because I genuinely get lonely, they quip, "Oh, you're time will come. You just have to wait." I'm tired of waiting. I have no regrets about paying for even a brief period of companionship (with sex as a bonus) since forking out the dough for some form of intimate contact at least presents a more honest situation, since both of you know it's a business arrangement, but you can be more open with yourself and your desires. For me, its therapy for dealing with the conflicting messages I get about being praised for my character, but brushed aside when there is the chance to have them enjoy it full time. I have no regrets about being tired of the lies.

But that's just me. Your results may vary.
 
No regrets here, since ironically P4P has been more truthful and accessible to me. Time and again I am told I would be a great boyfriend or husband, yet I have been single for 99.9% of my adult life because no-one will express their interest in me. Those that do offer some encouragement and I find attractive are already taken. When I raise my concerns about being frustrated because I genuinely get lonely, they quip, "Oh, you're time will come. You just have to wait." I'm tired of waiting. I have no regrets about paying for even a brief period of companionship (with sex as a bonus) since forking out the dough for some form of intimate contact at least presents a more honest situation, since both of you know it's a business arrangement, but you can be more open with yourself and your desires. For me, its therapy for dealing with the conflicting messages I get about being praised for my character, but brushed aside when there is the chance to have them enjoy it full time. I have no regrets about being tired of the lies.

I seem to be in a similar situation. I get a lot of praise for my character and some people seem to think I'm handsome but in the end all the women I meet through dating only want to be friends with me. At some point they get a boyfriend who sometimes ends up dumping them unceremoniously and even though they say they like me much better they still can't see me as anything else than a friend. I suffer from the loneliness and lack of physical affection particularly since coming to Japan (and sometimes think of returning to Europe for that reason alone) but no matter what I do it seems I'm nobody's type. Like those products that don't sell and are removed from the market not necessarily because they are inherently bad but because they don't have a target audience.

When I do get explanations as to what is wrong with me, they seem to be things that are beyond my control. One woman is only attracted to black guys, another thinks my butt is not big enough, another that I'm not muscular enough, another wants a baby with blue eyes (mine are green), another wants a British or American guy, another one is only into guys who make more than 12,000 000 yens a year... I know those are not the real reasons and that if there was some real chemistry they would look beyond those limitations but it amuses me somehow how most women seem to have very specific criteria when it comes to choosing their partners.

Recently I have been thinking of what life must be like with only good friends and P4P a couple of times a month but I can't really bring myself to give up on women although that would probably be the reasonable thing to do and I would be happier without that burden.
 
I seem to be in a similar situation. I get a lot of praise for my character and some people seem to think I'm handsome but in the end all the women I meet through dating only want to be friends with me. At some point they get a boyfriend who sometimes ends up dumping them unceremoniously and even though they say they like me much better they still can't see me as anything else than a friend. I suffer from the loneliness and lack of physical affection particularly since coming to Japan (and sometimes think of returning to Europe for that reason alone) but no matter what I do it seems I'm nobody's type. Like those products that don't sell and are removed from the market not necessarily because they are inherently bad but because they don't have a target audience.

When I do get explanations as to what is wrong with me, they seem to be things that are beyond my control. One woman is only attracted to black guys, another thinks my butt is not big enough, another that I'm not muscular enough, another wants a baby with blue eyes (mine are green), another wants a British or American guy, another one is only into guys who make more than 12,000 000 yens a year... I know those are not the real reasons and that if there was some real chemistry they would look beyond those limitations but it amuses me somehow how most women seem to have very specific criteria when it comes to choosing their partners.

Recently I have been thinking of what life must be like with only good friends and P4P a couple of times a month but I can't really bring myself to give up on women although that would probably be the reasonable thing to do and I would be happier without that burden.
That is very similar. A lot of people envy my character, and I have been told I'm good looking for being an average guy (the most frequent comment is that I don't look anywhere near my age :D). That being said, I am still just a bench warmer since none of them give me the opportunity to get on the field. In a devious way, with as private and unassuming as I am, I would be an ideal partner for them to have an affair with (not that I will push that idea on them). But perhaps since I'm such an outwardly straight-laced guy, I don't know if the thought has occurred to them. But since *I* won't pressure them to consider that, P4P is better option.
 
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That is very similar. A lot of people envy my character, and I have been told I'm good looking for being an average guy (the most frequent comment is that I don't look anywhere near my age :D). That being said, I am still just a bench warmer since none of them give me the opportunity to get on the field. In a devious way, with as private and unassuming as I am, I would be an ideal partner for them to have an affair with (not that I will push that idea on them). But perhaps since I'm such an outwardly straight-laced guy, I don't know if the thought has occurred to them. But since *I* won't pressure them to consider that, P4P is better option.

To me the really annoying part is that pretty much everyone assumes I am doing great and that if I don't have a steady partner it's probably that I go from one girl to the other, which couldn't be further from the truth. Which is also probably why I end up being more whiny here on TAG than in real life since I can't really talk about that to anyone and that's how I vent my frustrations :)
 
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