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Awkward transition - Passion VS hook ups

Axino

Axino

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Hey!

So right now I'm in that awkward part of traveling were I leave in a few months after living in a country for several years. So of course that ends up with me being single, I thought it'd be pretty cool until I realized casual hookups don't exactly do anything for me.
So here is my issue being that I'm in my early 20s I can go to clubs or bars and pick someone up, but that type of sex is just boring for me. In my experience so far it's just kinda mindlessly using each other to get off, the foreplay ,kissing, eye contact, or even movements always seem so detached.
I do get it though in the modern hookup culture most people would rather catch a STI then "feelings" and intimacy or passion breeds that. Of course I'm also leaving in 2-3 months and it'd be horrible to feel like shit on a big move or day 1 in my new home.
SO I'm hit with an ultimatum, do I break and continue with the lonely, and detached sex trying not to feel anything... or start a relationship with someone and leave out the details I'm leaving soon. Either way poor choice.

How do other people handle this situation/ is there a option I'm over looking?
 
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Reactions: AliceInWonderland
that is nonsense and never happened to anyone
 
RightOn6975 said:
As soon as you stop looking for someone all of a sudden the universe puts someone in front of you worth your time. I will leave you with that.
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vondoom said:
that is nonsense and never happened to anyone
Click to expand...

That's how I came together with my ex-boyfriend. I wasn't looking for a relationship at all and it just happened back then.

I think it's not really unknown that if you desperately look for someone, you show that in your actions and that is drawing many potential' people away.
 
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sure, the desperation thing might be thing in the end...
i guess our perspectives are just different... i call that accident, it just happens, or doesnt happen... it often just appears as it happened because you were not looking, but it just happened while you were not looking...
 
I think if you're leaving soon, that's gonna put a big filter on possible chances. Some people are down for a long distance relationship but most people don't prefer it so you got two choices:
double down the date game and really try hard to find someone who you'll be fine with and who'll be fine with you even with some distance
or
just continue the hook up game. I think you probably know this though
 
Do you really think that being attached to someone or not, is a rational, well-thought decision ? In other word, can you control mentally your desire to start a relationship ?
If you're free of any commitment at the moment, just do as you feel you should do.
Imho, such decisions are more emotional than rational. Then no need to think about it...
 
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