Beginner Advice Please

[Shine4eva]

Hi, I would like to ask some advice regarding PU j-girl. let mestart from my information. I'm 26 years old asian ('meh' level of Japanese skill) with no exp with woman, including dating. Everytime I want to try pick a girl like in the cafe or some restaurant I just confuse what should I talk first or what should I do. I wonder if there is someone that can give me some advice.

And also is it possible to hit a woman using english? and is there any preferable place to hit using english?

 

[User#12791]

You should find a wing to try going out with on here (a wing is a fellow dude that'll help you push you into walking up to girls, and vice versa).

Even a little bit of Japanese goes a long way.

Try talking to 3 or 4 girls a day to get into the rhythm of things.

 

[Shine4eva]

Unfortunately there is noone can be my wingman at this moment.. ..
Is there any suggestion place for me to hit a girl using english?

btw is there any meetup or BC in this forum?

 

[Sinapse]

Hey man,

Start out by being really social and just chatting about everything to everyone around you. Don't build up picking up girls as some crazy or strange thing and just engage them normally and go out of your way to put yourself nearby them and just chat with them. It doesn't have to be particuarly amazing verbal content, just get out there and meet a lot.

And we do offer bootcamps, but the next one likely won't be until July.

 

[Shine4eva]

Hey Sinapase, I saw your video yesterday ( haven't finish it yet). Thanks for the advice. I will try to gather my courage ..
For the bootcamp will you post it in the forum?
btw what kind of topics that usually acceptable to talk to the stranger?

 

[rick]

Hey Sinapase, I saw your video yesterday ( haven't finish it yet). Thanks for the advice. I will try to gather my courage ..
For the bootcamp will you post it in the forum?
btw what kind of topics that usually acceptable to talk to the stranger?

Literally anything. Just start with small talk, tell her about a cool event you went to or something funny that happened to you, etc.

If you aren't going for a snl just get her line. Getting line is really easy but getting them out again is another question. It's actually easier to close the same night.

 

[yolohama69]

Hey man,

Start out by being really social and just chatting about everything to everyone around you. Don't build up picking up girls as some crazy or strange thing and just engage them normally and go out of your way to put yourself nearby them and just chat with them. It doesn't have to be particuarly amazing verbal content, just get out there and meet a lot.

And we do offer bootcamps, but the next one likely won't be until July.

What exactly is a bootcamp? lol

 

[e-smile]

What exactly is a bootcamp? lol

it's a camp where everyone must wear boots. that was decided after the first camp was ruined by Japanese summer rain foreigners weren't familiar with
you can meet girls like this in such camps :

 

[BankerguyCanada]

I havnt been in the "pickup girls" scene for quite some time but i was pretty damn good at it in my college days.

I never... and i mean never went up to a girl and dropped a random cheesey line. I found it intimidating and the girl would have to be SUPER friendly/easy going for the line to work...regardless of how good it was.

Instead... id find somthing "situational" to comment on. You immediately lose that "horny picking up girls" sterotype. Also, you can instantly gauge her initial vibe/interest.

It could be anything. Maybe you're in a people watching area and some dolled up girl walks by and everyone looks at her. U ask the gurl next to you something stupid but relative to the situation. In an innocent but inquisitive tone. "is that a kimono or a yukata? "... as long as u smile you'll at worst come across simply ill-informed. Another example...
You catch her checking her watch/phone on the train platform and the trains a few mins late. Thats an easy one. Catch her eye and then with a loose half-chuckle comment on how its always late, if she smiles or laughs you push the convo forward. Even if u fail..and shes totally not into it... you dont feel embaressed cuz u didnt lead with a lame-ass pickup line.

Sometimes its hard to identify these "situational ins" and sometimes u see a hot gurl u want to go out with but there isnt anything going on in the vicinity that you can comment on...that can suck.... But as you look for "ins" more and more often u just start to notice them all the time.

I actually find tradtional pickup artists annoying. They give random guys / strangers a bad name lol When they do fail (which is often) they dont feel embaressed because they have no shame. I dont respect a man whos impervious to feeling shame upon failing. Nothing personal haha thats just me

 

[Sinapse]

What exactly is a bootcamp? lol

A bootcamp is a 3day course on meeting and attracting women through cold approach. More info on my site

 

[Sinapse]

I actually find tradtional pickup artists annoying. They give random guys / strangers a bad name lol When they do fail (which is often) they dont feel embaressed because they have no shame. I dont respect a man whos impervious to feeling shame upon failing. Nothing personal haha thats just me

You have a curious view of success and failure, and shame for that matter.

Do you feel shame when you check out a menu for a restaurant but then don't eat there?

 

[BankerguyCanada]

You have a curious view of success and failure, and shame for that matter.

Do you feel shame when you check out a menu for a restaurant but then don't eat there?

No? Becasue not eating there is my choice.
I have total control over whether or not i order something. So theres no shame in that.

I dont like failing. Id rather go 9 for 10 rather than 10 for 82.
Everyone is different.. and thats just me. Ive found that avoiding failure has served me well in all facets in life. At 30 ive accomplished more than most men do their whole lives. To each their own

 

[Sinapse]

No? Becasue not eating there is my choice.
I have total control over whether or not i order something. So theres no shame in that.

I dont like failing. Id rather go 9 for 10 rather than 10 for 82.
Everyone is different.. and thats just me. Ive found that avoiding failure has served me well in all facets in life. At 30 ive accomplished more than most men do their whole lives. To each their own

The point here is that you're evaluating options and you as a male have choice, not that you FAILOMG if you can't bang a girl you only said hi to. You don't need to sleep with every girl you speak with

 

[BankerguyCanada]

You don't need to sleep with every girl you speak with

Blasphemy!!

 

[e-smile]

I actually find tradtional pickup artists annoying. They give random guys / strangers a bad name lol When they do fail (which is often) they dont feel embaressed because they have no shame. I dont respect a man whos impervious to feeling shame upon failing. Nothing personal haha thats just me

I'm not a PUA but I don't think you have to see a girl refusing your approach as a failure. I get it if you approach girls as if you were hunting a prey but you don't have to see your approach this way. Why not consider it as a compatibility check ?

At first glance you can have the intuition telling you this girl would be interested but you won't know if it's true or not unless you approach her. If the approach reveals she's not interested it's not a shame, at least you would know and have no regrets about not having checked.

Shame is a big word, it's not like you were begging her on your knees crying in front of everyone. approaching a girls should be de-dramatized. it should be compared to when we were kids and asked another kid to come play along. at that time if the other kid refused well too bad for him and it did never mean he's better than you.

 

[Sinapse]

I'm not a PUA but I don't think you have to see a girl refusing your approach as a failure. I get it if you approach girls as if you were hunting a prey but you don't have to see your approach this way. Why not consider it as a compatibility check ?

At first glance you can have the intuition telling you this girl would be interested but you won't know if it's true or not unless you approach her. If the approach reveals she's not interested it's not a shame, at least you would know and have no regrets about not having checked.

Shame is a big word, it's not like you were begging her on your knees crying in front of everyone. approaching a girls should be de-dramatized. it should be compared to when we were kids and asked another kid to come play along. at that time if the other kid refused well too bad for him and it did never mean he's better than you.

Well said

 

[Pansexual latina]

I think i understand what @BankerguyCanada is trying to say, because the shotgun effect isnt an effective way to pick a girl up.i feel like he means work smarter not harder as 9/10 is a more effective person than 10/82 . You waste less time :3

 

[Pansexual latina]

Also, besides knowing cultural fauxpaus and a few other differences i feel like yall think too much into this shit and spend way too much time calculating your experiences instead of actually naturally experiencing human interaction lol. Sometimes youre gonna be awkward and youre gonna fuck up but dont be like a teenage girl who studies cosmo to try and gain insight on males, just speak to a female .

 

[Wwanderer]

i feel like yall think too much into this shit and spend way too much time calculating your experiences instead of actually naturally experiencing human interaction

Very much this!

Sounds somehow familiar too...

dont be like a teenage girl who studies cosmo to try and gain insight on males

Perfect.

-Ww

 

[Sinapse]

I'd rather be 1/100 for girls who are 100% my type certified stunners than 9/10 for some basic ass chicks

And I'd rather get cruelly rejected by a "10" than pull home a "3" and hook up with her.

At least that way I can say I went after what was really good and left it all in the ring, didn't play it safe clutching my pillow and fearing rejections which ultimately don't matter.

In this way, I think statistics don't tell the full story. If you're 9/10 you're probably playing in the wrong league

 

[Dugallebsum]

If you're 9/10 you're probably playing in the wrong league

Gotta agree with that. After a certain point those 9/10 just don't cut it.

 

[Wwanderer]

I'd rather be 1/100 for girls who are 100% my type certified stunners than 9/10 for some basic ass chicks

And I'd rather get cruelly rejected by a "10" than pull home a "3" and hook up with her.

Yeah, god knows there is nothing worse than having sex with a woman who isn't a stunner/10 no matter what her personality, accomplishments, intelligence, values, insights into life, knowledge, judgement etc...might be.

You and I have done enough rounds of this general sort that I'm seriously not looking for another one of those semi-infinite back and forths, but that post is too much go me to let it go by without comment...though it speaks for itself I suppose.

-Ww

 

[Sinapse]

Yeah, god knows there is nothing worse than having sex with a woman who isn't a stunner/10 no matter what her personality, accomplishments, intelligence, values, insights into life, knowledge, judgement etc...might be.

What a curious and wild misunderstanding! What on earth led you to believe all those things were not a part of the "stunner" assessment?

Even more to the point, how could I know any of those things without first talking to her and finding out, thereby contributing to the 99/100 I DIDN'T choose. You have to talk to many women to find one of particular quality, despite appearances

At a certain point it seems like you're purposefully trying to misinterpret me!

 

[Wwanderer]

What a curious and wild misunderstanding! What on earth led you to believe all those things were not a part of the "stunner" assessment?

Even more to the point, how could I know any of those things without first talking to her and finding out, thereby contributing to the 99/100 I DIDN'T choose. You have to talk to many women to find one of particular quality, despite appearances

At a certain point it seems like you're purposefully trying to misinterpret me!

The word "stunner" usually refers to appearance, and the 1 to 10 numerical scale of rating women virtually always does:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=1-10 Scale

As I am sure you know.

But if you now say that you meant much more than appearance, okaaaay...I'm fine with letting it go at that. Maybe my misunderstanding, but I don't think many would consider it "curious and wild" given the way you expressed it.

-Ww

 

[BankerguyCanada]

I think i understand what @BankerguyCanada is trying to say, because the shotgun effect isnt an effective way to pick a girl up.i feel like he means work smarter not harder as 9/10 is a more effective person than 10/82 . You waste less time :3

Yea... essentially correct. Also saves a bit of embaressment