Bullying Cultures in Japan vs South Korea vs China/Taiwan/HongKong vs USA vs Europe

[MikeH]

stop bullying me

I will never stop bullying you cos that would be peer isolation.

 

[Frenchy]

yeah I was talking about that and you started talking about me which saddened me. I'm feeling exclusion now

seriously please believe me when I say I'm not trying to troll or say my home country is better (it's really far from being better than those listed in the study), I just mentioned my home country because it's the only country I've been in until high school and from reading manga, watching movies and talking to Japanese people I really felt that ijime concept was a thing there and I have never witnessed nor heard of anything similar. may be it exists now in my home country as it really changed from how it was in my time and became more like developed countries.

Whats so problematic about telling the name of your home country?
I can tell you a secret here but dont repeat it: mine is France. Home of the guillotine, great wines, cheap cunts and stinky cheeses!

 

[e-smile]

Whats so problematic about telling the name of your home country?
I can tell you a secret here but dont repeat it: mine is France. Home of the guillotine, great wines, cheap cunts and stinky cheeses!

I have my own reasons

 

[Frenchy]

I have my own reasons

Let me guess... Morocco

 

[User#8628]

I don't want to disclose my homecountry. Its not France but its definitely Europe and while it was not exactly the whole class who actively bullied me, i can say that for most of my schooltime i've had zero friends in my class and there was a big group of boys in the class who actively made fun of me while the other kids either laughed or ignored it.
This is certainly not exclusive to Japan. One of the main reasons i am not planning to go back to my homecountry is because of the very negative experience with the people there from earlier in my life. I can very well understand that some Japanese may feel the same way about Japan, but for me at least Tokyo, as a metropolis with many unique people, is the perfect escape.

 

[e-smile]

I don't want to disclose my homecountry. Its not France but its definitely Europe and while it was not exactly the whole class who actively bullied me, i can say that for most of my schooltime i've had zero friends in my class and there was a big group of boys in the class who actively made fun of me while the other kids either laughed or ignored it.
This is certainly not exclusive to Japan. One of the main reasons i am not planning to go back to my homecountry is because of the very negative experience with the people there from earlier in my life. I can very well understand that some Japanese may feel the same way about Japan, but for me at least Tokyo, as a metropolis with many unique people, is the perfect escape.

how did you react to their behavior ? what advice would you give to someone in the same situation ?

 

[User#8628]

how did you react to their behavior ? what advice would you give to someone in the same situation ?

Maybe i am not the best one to advise because i couldn't make them stop. I also believe every case is different.
I choose to ignore it rather than to complain.
Some people tell you that you should stand up for yourself and clearly say that their behavior hurts you, but i always imagined they would just laugh at that and i didn't want to give them the pleasure.
Also i didn't try to get on good terms with them because i for my own pride it felt better to feel like we mutually disliked each other than that i wanted them to accept me but they wouldn't.
People also say that you should learn self defense and just hit one of the bullies really hard once, but they never really got physical with me and i wanted to keep it that way. Also if i would have gotten verbally strong and insulted them, all their public would be on their side, so there was no way i could beat them.

The one thing that is very very effective against bullying and that i would advice any parent who notices that a lot of kids are picking on their child is to make the child change school if he/she also wants to.
I think for people who live in Japan, if they notice their kid gets bullied for being a half blood, sending them to an international school could be very effective if possible.

 

[e-smile]

Maybe i am not the best one to advise because i couldn't make them stop. I also believe every case is different.
I choose to ignore it rather than to complain.
Some people tell you that you should stand up for yourself and clearly say that their behavior hurts you, but i always imagined they would just laugh at that and i didn't want to give them the pleasure.
Also i didn't try to get on good terms with them because i for my own pride it felt better to feel like we mutually disliked each other than that i wanted them to accept me but they wouldn't.
People also say that you should learn self defense and just hit one of the bullies really hard once, but they never really got physical with me and i wanted to keep it that way. Also if i would have gotten verbally strong and insulted them, all their public would be on their side, so there was no way i could beat them.

The one thing that is very very effective against bullying and that i would advice any parent who notices that a lot of kids are picking on their child is to make the child change school if he/she also wants to.
I think for people who live in Japan, if they notice their kid gets bullied for being a half blood, sending them to an international school could be very effective if possible.

I'd be one of those.
I'm sure the cowards who bully are taking advantage of the situation when someone doesn't face them.

If I had been in your school I would certainly have gone physical with them for you

I wouldn't advise to parents to make the child change school, kids shouldn't be afraid to fight back (physically or verbally) cause they will be bullied elsewhere if they are. I strongly believe that. children are cruel but in the end they are still children with many flaws to use against them.

 

[Jbagz]

Bullying occurs everywhere, it isn't regulated to the schoolyard and it takes on a different form and becomes more subtle once children become adults.

It is a form of establishing social dominance.

That said I think some attitudes have changed with young folks in the USA. High school aged children actually seem to be protective of their peers with disabilities these days.

Many people complain about PC culture ruining America, but in calling out bullies and implanting the notion to be protective of those weaker than yourself, Political Correctness has done a good thing in American society.

In my generation a kid with Down's Syndrome would be excluded, ignored and sometimes bullied. Today's young people are so much better at looking out for kids with disabilities.

 

[Wwanderer]

That said I think some attitudes have changed with young folks in the USA. High school aged children actually seem to be protective of their peers with disabilities these days.

Many people complain about PC culture ruining America, but in calling out bullies and implanting the notion to be protective of those weaker than yourself, Political Correctness has done a good thing in American society.

In my generation a kid with Down's Syndrome would be excluded, ignored and sometimes bullied. Today's young people are so much better at looking out for kids with disabilities.

This. Very much this!

Wish I could like it more than once.

-Ww

 

[User#8628]

cause they will be bullied elsewhere if they are.

I wouldn't say that.

Sure, kids will pick easier on the more insecure people, but its not everywhere the same. Bullying largely depends on the bullies.
Also the reasons why people started to bully me at first were not valid anymore a few years later (and in other places i would never be called those kind of names anymore) but once people have this image of you in their head they dont change it.

Fighting back against a bigger crowd of boys, if i got verbal they laughed only harder at me and if i got physical i risked getting in trouble with the teachers myself, and i dont even wanna think about fighting guys who have been doing sports for quite a while outside of school.

I think staying soft really worked out for me in the end, people love it now and everyone is being so kind to me. For me, environment is everything. I wouldn't blame myself for getting bullied, its on those kids and not everyone would treat me the same way.

 

[e-smile]

I wouldn't say that.

Sure, kids will pick easier on the more insecure people, but its not everywhere the same. Bullying largely depends on the bullies.
Also the reasons why people started to bully me at first were not valid anymore a few years later (and in other places i would never be called those kind of names anymore) but once people have this image of you in their head they dont change it.

Fighting back against a bigger crowd of boys, if i got verbal they laughed only harder at me and if i got physical i risked getting in trouble with the teachers myself, and i dont even wanna think about fighting guys who have been doing sports for quite a while outside of school.

I think staying soft really worked out for me in the end, people love it now and everyone is being so kind to me. For me, environment is everything. I wouldn't blame myself for getting bullied, its on those kids and not everyone would treat me the same way.

I wasn't necessarily talking about insults, if someone makes fun of you I think you have to find anything to make fun of him in a way that could make even his friends laugh. everyone has a flaw and a part of himself he's not proud of.

 

[User#8628]

Also, things that are seen as a flaw earlier in life can become your strong point later.

One of the things kids would bully me about is the intense way i stare at people, especially if i like them, and now the guys love it. Some reviews of me mention it, i think.

Same with some girls who are chubby or have glasses or are from a different race... what people pick on you for can be something other people love about you.

There are no strengths and weaknesses.

 

[patty diaz]

I don't want to disclose my homecountry. Its not France but its definitely Europe and while it was not exactly the whole class who actively bullied me, i can say that for most of my schooltime i've had zero friends in my class and there was a big group of boys in the class who actively made fun of me while the other kids either laughed or ignored it.
This is certainly not exclusive to Japan. One of the main reasons i am not planning to go back to my homecountry is because of the very negative experience with the people there from earlier in my life. I can very well understand that some Japanese may feel the same way about Japan, but for me at least Tokyo, as a metropolis with many unique people, is the perfect escape.

This is the exact same thing with me. Except mine was brought on by a veey nasty girl encouraging it

 

[e-smile]

I think the main reason I'm not familiar with bullying from pairs is because we were all bullied by parents and teachers. it has a little changed now but in my time it was normal for the parents and teachers to hit children. we were beaten with a stick for just getting a wrong answer to an exercise or not doing homework and at home I'm sure sandals have hit more children than cockroaches in my country
adults were the only people we couldn't fight back so if the aggressor is a fellow kid any one would usually fight back.

 

[Wwanderer]

Also, things that are seen as a flaw earlier in life can become your strong point later.

One of the things kids would bully me about is the intense way i stare at people, especially if i like them, and now the guys love it. Some reviews of me mention it, i think.

Same with some girls who are chubby or have glasses or are from a different race... what people pick on you for can be something other people love about you.

There are no strengths and weaknesses.

One like is not enough for me to give this post!

Very much this and especially this.

-Ww

 

[Yuriko]

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/20...uees-face-menace-school-bullies/#.WQCcTVN95E5

Just read an article where it says Fukushima child evacuees are being bullied in schools.

I have been a fan of J-dramas and K-dramas for many years. Take the case of the most famous J-drama Hanzawa Naoki which showcases the bullying cultures in Japan working environment for adults.

I also watched many US Hollywood High School Movies about High School Teenagers bullying each others and especially the weak ones all the time.

How's the bullying cultures in Japan like compared to South Korea?

How are the bullying cultures in USA/Europe like compared to China/Taiwan/HongKong?

Let's have a most sensible, most detached observations diss-cuss-ions here.

I did experience "light case bully" when I was a child, returned from US and stood out as a rare "returnees 帰国子女" by then. Kids don't like "minority" or "someone different" in class. Also my Japanese ability was bad, compared to regular students. Another case, when at junior high, I protected a girl everyone hated, because of her looks, I was more curious abt her as an indivisual, as I was more accepting as a returnee, compared to closed regular kids. I got hated by the rest of school mates at the same grade. I thought that was sucks and something really bad in kids society. Thus, I hated public 公立schools in Japan, that anyone can study.

After that, I had a happier life after private 私立high school, University you get chosen to study there and gained confidence after all.

I'm a well teamed person and respect others. I don't let a person down, or mention be against, in public. I'm peace minded,.,very considerate to others. Maybe that's all go back having bullied experience in the past.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

I'd be one of those.
I'm sure the cowards who bully are taking advantage of the situation when someone doesn't face them.

If I had been in your school I would certainly have gone physical with them for you

I wouldn't advise to parents to make the child change school, kids shouldn't be afraid to fight back (physically or verbally) cause they will be bullied elsewhere if they are. I strongly believe that. children are cruel but in the end they are still children with many flaws to use against them.

I think you take that a little lightly, maybe out of inexperience. The one moment you can stop bullying is probably when it starts, but once it's set in place it's very hard to get rid off, those changing environment like mentioned by @User#8628 is a good idea.

Your point of view Is very much an analytical one from an adult. From a child point of view it's not that easy.

 

[User#8628]

I think you take that a little lightly, maybe out of inexperience. The one moment you can stop bullying is probably when it starts, but once it's set in place it's very hard to get rid off, those changing environment like mentioned by @User#8628 is a good idea.

Your point of view Is very much an analytical one from an adult. From a child point of view it's not that easy.

This is very true. Over the years i became a different person, but the bullies did not want to see that because of how used they got of treating me that way.
When changing environment, things immediately got different.

 

[Jbagz]

I did experience "light case bully" when I was a child, returned from US and stood out as a rare "returnees 帰国子女" by then. Kids don't like "minority" or "someone different" in class. Also my Japanese ability was bad, compared to regular students. Another case, when at junior high, I protected a girl everyone hated, because of her looks, I was more curious abt her as an indivisual, as I was more accepting as a returnee, compared to closed regular kids. I got hated by the rest of school mates at the same grade. I thought that was sucks and something really bad in kids society. Thus, I hated public 公立schools in Japan, that anyone can study.

After that, I had a happier life after private 私立high school, University you get chosen to study there and gained confidence after all.

I'm a well teamed person and respect others. I don't let a person down, or mention be against, in public. I'm peace minded,.,very considerate to others. Maybe that's all go back having bullied experience in the past.

Interesting.

When I lived in Aomori I drove past a primary school often, and I would look at the children and think. "Wow, they must have a happy school life. They are all the same race and probably don't have the problems we had in the USA."

Sounds like kids find a way to pick on each other.

But they looked happy on the playground. Little tiny kids riding unicycles at recess. They'd never let kids ride unicycles in the USA because of risky insurance liability.

 

[Yuriko]

Interesting.

When I lived in Aomori I drove past a primary school often, and I would look at the children and think. "Wow, they must have a happy school life. They are all the same race and probably don't have the problems we had in the USA."

Sounds like kids find a way to pick on each other.

But they looked happy on the playground. Little tiny kids riding unicycles at recess. They'd never let kids ride unicycles in the USA because of risky insurance liability.

Yeah, behind happy kids, you see them at their playground, there are always isolated kids with dark side depression hidden in the corner of a class.