Choosing between entertainment and true love (with their pros and cons)

[majimekun]

So, it looks like there are two kinds of people :

#1.
The ones who seek true love and who would prefer to remain single until they find it.

#2.
The ones who of course would be happy to find true love but choose to have at least some fun with any descent partner until they find it with someone else.

I've often despised #1 people because by remaining single so long they don't build experience (they often are the worst kind of people to date because of that), they are left with building frustration most of the time. However I admire those who manage to be spared by frustration, finding unlimited happiness outside partnerships.

I'm the #2 kind of person. Mainly because I hate sleeping alone, I'm not asexual and I constantly need someone to provide me with something new (personality, experience, etc.). The sad part is that deep inside me I'm rooting for true/deep love which is kind of unproductive if you ask me. But I can't help it.

Twice I've had exceptional dreams at night, dreams that filled me with unlimited love/admiration for someone I've never seen before. Some may call it a spiritual experience but in my case I think that it's just my brain desperately begging for true love. After these dreams, reality has a sour taste and feels really dull.

So there I am, at 47, again with a new girlfriend 25 years younger than me, trying to enjoy a new personality, learning new things etc. but knowing that I'll be repeating that cycle over and over frustrated by the lack of the powerful love I felt in my dreams.

You're #1 or #2?
What's your take on this?

 

[chinshiko]

I can not say clearly if I'm #1 or #2.
However, after almost 20 years of marriage (not unhappy), and a few kids, things have become stale.
When I read the last paragraph, 47 with a girl 25 years younger — that sounded really nice and fresh and I felt a bit jealous. But I know that the grass is always greener.

 

[majimekun]

But I know that the grass is always greener.

Yep, and that's why I miss my ex now ( she too was 20 years younger though )

 

[chinshiko]

Yep, and that's why I miss my ex now ( she too was 20 years older though )

At 47, I think having 20 years younger sounds more sexually appealing than 20 years older, though.

 

[Sudsy]

So, it looks like there are two kinds of people :

1. Those who believe that all of humanity can be divided into a binary set based on a simple aphorism.

2. Those who hold no such illusion.

 

[majimekun]

Just fixed it (had a clouded mind this morning)

At 47, I think having 20 years younger sounds more sexually appealing than 20 years older, though.

 

[Wwanderer]

1. Those who believe that all of humanity can be divided into a binary set based on a simple aphorism.

2. Those who hold no such illusion.

There are nearly 8 billion kinds of people in the world...more if you count those with multiple personalities separately.

-Ww

 

[majimekun]

Do you have an example that doesn't fit to any of the two profiles I've mentioned?

1. Those who believe that all of humanity can be divided into a binary set based on a simple aphorism.

2. Those who hold no such illusion.

 

[ShowaJidai]

Do you have an example that doesn't fit to any of the two profiles I've mentioned?

Easy. Somebody who doesn't believe in true love and just wants as many relationships at any level as he/she can have.

 

[Wwanderer]

Do you have an example that doesn't fit to any of the two profiles I've mentioned?

A lot easier than finding someone who doesn't fit into one of the categories @Sudsy listed!

-Ww

 

[MikeH]

1. Those who believe that all of humanity can be divided into a binary set based on a simple aphorism.

2. Those who hold no such illusion.

As the saying goes there are three kind of people; those who know math and those who don't.

But what is "true love"? The idea, mainly constructed by the movie industry, that there is one and one only person for everyone in this world?

Rather than that I think there are several "perfect" partners for everyone all the time, and that those change when your life situation changes. Marriages out of love are a very recent invention; for me it's easier to trust people who get married because of money, land or liaison with France.

 

[majimekun]

Like you I don't believe that there is only one perfect person available for you in your whole life.

That being said, there is a big difference between being with someone nice enough because you don't want to be alone and being with someone so important to you that you'd do almost anything for her. Clearly, the level of compassion and selflessness is very different from one to another. And this, I don't think it was invented by the movie industry.

Ironically, the most positively unforgettable relationships I had were the one that hurt the most.
Hardship creates bonds.

From the time I've started avoiding hardships in relationships, it seems that I've lost tremendous depth in my feelings.

...
But what is "true love"? The idea, mainly constructed by the movie industry, that there is one and one only person for everyone in this world?
Rather than that I think there are several "perfect" partners for everyone all the time, and that those change when your life situation changes.....

 

[just4fun]

What is true love?

It's something that doesn't exist.

 

[chinshiko]

Just fixed it (had a clouded mind this morning)

Clouded mind, but it's keeping you young at heart. That grass looks really f%&ing green to me today.

 

[LeonGRAY]

Most guys are #1 until they get dumped/friendzoned too many times and see women for what they are and turn into #2

Men are romantics pretending to be realists; women are realists pretending to be romantics.

 

[LeonGRAY]

What is true love?

It's something that doesn't exist.

Love doesn’t exist. It’s just a game we play with eachother.

 

[MikeH]

Love doesn’t exist.

It's obvious you never had a dog.

 

[Rusty Trombone]

Love doesn’t exist. It’s just a game we play with eachother.

I know it's pedantic, but I see your post as logically impossible.

 

[just4fun]

It's obvious you never had a dog.

I love small dogs. Great for penalty kick practice

 

[LeonGRAY]

It's obvious you never had a dog.

Give me a cat any day. feed me. cuddle me. fuck you, im off out. They know where its at.

 

[majimekun]

Broke up with the 22 Y.O yesterday.
At first I thought that spending time with her would be better than nothing but I was wrong.
Being with someone who has nothing to say 90% of the time is actually more painful than feeling lonely.
I kind of miss the girls who talk a lot even if they say the stupidiest thing on earth.

 

[just4fun]

Broke up with the 22 Y.O yesterday.
At first I thought that spending time with her would be better than nothing but I was wrong.
Being with someone who has nothing to say 90% of the time is actually more painful than feeling lonely.
I kind of miss the girls who talk a lot even if they say the stupidiest thing on earth.

I'll take the quiet one over the stupid one any day of the week.

 

[majimekun]

When it's too quiet it's just like you're draging your sex doll behind you all the way.
There is quiet and QUIET I guess.

I'll take the quiet one over the stupid one any day of the week.

 

[Simonka]

Give me a cat any day. feed me. cuddle me. fuck you, im off out. They know where its at.

Some days I wish I had a more aloof cat (which fits most people’s perception of cats) but one of my cats is a bit overly attached and he has dog like behavior.

I want to go to the toilet alone some day without him staring at me with starry eyes..

 

[MikeH]

I want to go to the toilet alone some day without him staring at me with starry eyes..

He is probably just thinking of all the ways he can kill you while you sleep.