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Considering going with a 19 year old SB. Is this madness?

cabbie said:
It says that according to article 176 of Japan's criminal code (indecent assault), the sexual age of consent is 13 for both males and females.
However, according to the Child welfare Law, forcing a child under the age of 18 to perform indecent acts is a punishable crime.
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It's worth noting that those are national laws. Every prefecture has their own age of consent laws setting it at 18. IIRC Nagano was the last holdout.
 
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tokyosteven77 said:
Thanks Cabbie for also having a detailed look.

So far, all I can say is I'm very happy. Bit too early to be sure, but I may have struck absolute SB gold here. Will have to report back to gloat if this continues as good as it has started
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I'm glad you took the plunge. I certainly feel the same about my 19 year old SB ;)
 
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With absolutely no intention of my own to reach that far down in the age scale, I've recently also ended up, via a sugar dating site, with an 18-year old who intellectually and sexually is far ahead of her age. Almost scary. And yes, I, too, feel like I've struck absolute gold. I think I'm developing a crush on her. She is so awesome.

We dudes have to be mindful though that at that age, people are still much more fragile and vulnerable than later in life, may put on a brave show to gloss over great insecurities, may not completely be clear about right and wrong yet, etc. It is our responsibility to handle with the greatest care and caution. We should put the well-being and safety of the girl way above our own, and when in any doubt, take a step back, chill things and talk them through with the girl, with love.

As a matter of prudence, I have placed control over the pace at which we move forward in our relationship completely in her hands. I've told her that I will never make the first move on anything, although I may verbally suggest or ask things. Once she initiates something I will place my greater experience at her disposal and provide guidance if needed.

Also, absolutely no drugs, of course, and alcohol only in small quantities during our dates. A glass of wine or two, that's it.

I hope I'm not kidding myself here.
 
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Leo Severin said:
I hope I'm not kidding myself here.
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As a wise man once said "it depends".

I would concentrate less on the age and more on how mature and experienced she is. I have met girls who have not yet became adults at 26 and I have met girls who have all their shit together before they reach 19.

And yes the latter estimated to have sucked close to a thousand dicks, both for work and pleasure, before her 19th birthday. :D:eek:
 
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MikeH said:
And yes the latter estimated to have sucked close to a thousand dicks, both for work and pleasure, before her 19th birthday. :D:eek:
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That's some real OJT right there, lol.
 
Leo Severin said:
With absolutely no intention of my own to reach that far down in the age scale, I've recently also ended up, via a sugar dating site, with an 18-year old who intellectually and sexually is far ahead of her age. Almost scary. And yes, I, too, feel like I've struck absolute gold. I think I'm developing a crush on her. She is so awesome.

We dudes have to be mindful though that at that age, people are still much more fragile and vulnerable than later in life, may put on a brave show to gloss over great insecurities, may not completely be clear about right and wrong yet, etc. It is our responsibility to handle with the greatest care and caution. We should put the well-being and safety of the girl way above our own, and when in any doubt, take a step back, chill things and talk them through with the girl, with love.

As a matter of prudence, I have placed control over the pace at which we move forward in our relationship completely in her hands. I've told her that I will never make the first move on anything, although I may verbally suggest or ask things. Once she initiates something I will place my greater experience at her disposal and provide guidance if needed.

Also, absolutely no drugs, of course, and alcohol only in small quantities during our dates. A glass of wine or two, that's it.

I hope I'm not kidding myself here.
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The part about her being vulnerable is very beautiful. I think you're very wise with that.

Please note that she's under the legal drinking age in Japan though.
 
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I don't disagree, but sometimes I feel that its the older girls that are more fragile. Part of the reason I like dating younger girls is that they are just much more carefree. If i had to pick a age it would definitely be 23, there is a bit more maturity and real world experience there, but they are still not thinking about anything serious, or full of hang ups. And well yeah, they look amazing :)

Whenever I somehow have anything to do with girls 27+, they start throwing lots of 'shit-tests' at me... how long are you going to be in Japan, are you looking for serious relationship etc, etc... its like they are all totally hung up from being burnt so many times before, and come across as kinda paranoid at best, and damaged at worst. Young girls just seem to be much more open to experiences, want to enjoy themselves and not worry about the future.

In the case of the 19 year old I wrote the original post about. I made clear to her that I didnt expect anything 'to happen' on the first date, it was just a chance to get to know each other, but lucky for me she actually suggested we go to a love hotel and literally threw herself on me. That was just the beginning, subsequent dates got pretty wild :LOL: happy happy days!!!

Anyway it seems to have run its course now, but it was amazing while it lasted!
 
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User#8628 said:
Please note that she's under the legal drinking age in Japan though.
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I somehow totally forgot that one.

Wouldn't it be beautiful to get arrested after a hot night of love making with an 18 year old. Not because of the sex but because you offered her a glass of champagne. :eek::oops::D
 
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Is drinking age ever enforced? (e.g in restaurants?)
I remember buying alcohol from a convenience store and just having to press the screen to say I'm over 20. Where I live, official ID usually has to be shown for alcohol if you look under 30.
 
MikeH said:
I would concentrate less on the age and more on how mature and experienced she is. I have met girls who have not yet became adults at 26 and I have met girls who have all their shit together before they reach 19.
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Very true. Two girls come to mind who I had sugar flings with several months ago, one 19 one 20. One was like a total disorganised princess, silly, emotional, unreliable, selfish, while the other was like a bank manager, very wise, aware and had it all planned out.

Funny thing is, I had so much more fun with the immature one, she was just so much fun to be around, and we had a fantastic time both in and out of the bedroom. She genuinely made me laugh, which is a rare thing. I actually got kinda burnt by her and ended up making a bit of a fool out of myself, truth be told. On the other hand she walked away without a care in the world.

So indeed it depends. But... it also depends :p
 
User#8628 said:
The part about her being vulnerable is very beautiful. I think you're very wise with that.

Please note that she's under the legal drinking age in Japan though.
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Thanks, Alice. Regarding the alcohol.. I didn't think about that. Of all the things I need to worry about, her ability to handle a glass of wine is at the very bottom of the list, I assure you. But I understand - you're just trying to help by pointing out a legal restriction and keeping us out of trouble. Thank you.

tokyosteven and all the others with your "it depends" spiel. Please. When you're 35, or 45, or 55, and you're dealing with an 18 year old, then no, it doesn't depend, not by default. I mean, of course it can well turn out that the person is entirely capable of handling herself and has no age-related vulnerabilities. But you can't approach this with an "it depends, we'll see" sort of mindset. Until you know the person really well - which quite possibly will be way after you've had all the opportunity in the world to do real damage - , the onus is entirely on your shoulders, depending on nothing. Including the onus for you getting infatuated and making a fool of yourself. Do we really need to argue about this?
 
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jhingy567 said:
Is drinking age ever enforced? (e.g in restaurants?)
I remember buying alcohol from a convenience store and just having to press the screen to say I'm over 20. Where I live, official ID usually has to be shown for alcohol if you look under 30.
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I don't really understand the system either... It is the same thing with cigarettes
 
About the age thing...

I've posted before about my tastes and feelings about different age groups. But I have to say, I'm a little surprised by the girl I'm currently seeing on a semi-regular basis. (i.e. we work a lot, so time is tight.) She's in the below 25 category, but she's both young, smart and very good in bed. I typically don't go for sub-25 just because it's never worked out very well. After a few months, I've turned my view around, at least about her.

Everybody's situation is different. I just consider myself very lucky right now. I hope this continues for a long time to come... :)
 
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jhingy567 said:
Is drinking age ever enforced? (e.g in restaurants?)
I remember buying alcohol from a convenience store and just having to press the screen to say I'm over 20. Where I live, official ID usually has to be shown for alcohol if you look under 30.
Click to expand...
I think they can ask for ID if they want to. But i have never seen it enforced either. I've also never known of restaurants or 18 years olds who got in trouble from this law but it might happen.
The only place where they really seem to enforce the ID thing is in damce clubs though.
 
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Leo Severin said:
tokyosteven and all the others with your "it depends" spiel. Please. When you're 35, or 45, or 55, and you're dealing with an 18 year old, then no, it doesn't depend, not by default.
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Well it seems you don't want or need anyone's advice so we can take this post just as bragging and enjoy it as is.

And you are right, in my case it doesn't really depend either. But only because I wouldn't get into a relationship with anyone under 26. Having one time sex is a different thing and can be a lot of fun, but no dating for me thank you.
 
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User#8628 said:
I think they can ask for ID if they want to. But i have never seen it enforced either.
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I have seen them ask for ID in convenience stores when buying alcohol in the middle of the night. But not often, I must admit.
 
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MikeH said:
I would concentrate less on the age and more on how mature and experienced she is. I have met girls who have not yet became adults at 26 and I have met girls who have all their shit together before they reach 19.
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This.

Also my experience. There is a loose correlation of maturity with age, but it is very loose indeed ime. I have met 20 yo women who are more mature than many people become even at the end of a full adult life. When they make laws, I guess they are forced to use age as a proxy for maturity, but in personal relationships, there is no need to judge people by that number; it is often as misleading as it is helpful.

-Ww
 
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warubuta said:
Or you could follow the old maxim: Dont ever do anything you wouldn't want you mother to see you doing.
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OK, if there are any guys out here who would like their moms see them having sex please raise your hands right now so we can not become friends. :eek::D
 
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Leo Severin said:
With absolutely no intention of my own to reach that far down in the age scale, I've recently also ended up, via a sugar dating site, with an 18-year old who intellectually and sexually is far ahead of her age. Almost scary. And yes, I, too, feel like I've struck absolute gold. I think I'm developing a crush on her. She is so awesome.

We dudes have to be mindful though that at that age, people are still much more fragile and vulnerable than later in life, may put on a brave show to gloss over great insecurities, may not completely be clear about right and wrong yet, etc. It is our responsibility to handle with the greatest care and caution. We should put the well-being and safety of the girl way above our own, and when in any doubt, take a step back, chill things and talk them through with the girl, with love.

As a matter of prudence, I have placed control over the pace at which we move forward in our relationship completely in her hands. I've told her that I will never make the first move on anything, although I may verbally suggest or ask things. Once she initiates something I will place my greater experience at her disposal and provide guidance if needed.

Also, absolutely no drugs, of course, and alcohol only in small quantities during our dates. A glass of wine or two, that's it.

I hope I'm not kidding myself here.
Click to expand...

Doesnt matter what rules you might put on yourself, if she is 19 or under, and you are older than say 28, if you have any kind of sexual activity with her, I think J society at large will hang you up by your gaijin balls to swing in the wind. When she wigs out, gets pregnant or whatever and you are exposed and on trial in the court of public opinion, imagine how silly you will sound when you try to explain yourself this way. 'I only let her have 2 glasses of wine before I fucked her.' Or, 'When we got in the hotel, she made the first move.' In Japan I think the magic age is 20. 20 or above is fair game
 
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