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Crazy Japanese Woman Blackmailing Me?

TokyoJoeblow

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Ok, so my long-term sex friend is now pressuring me into a serious relationship with her. She is also married and she knows I'm married as well. She keeps asking me if I love her and if I love my wife. She also asks if I love her or my wife more. She always says sorry and she doesn't want to pressure me, but she always has this evil smirk on her face.

Just recently, she told me that another foreigner she knows proved his love for her by getting divorced and he proposed to her. She said that she rejected his proposal, but that I would get divorced and propose to her too if I really loved her? Then I explained that even though I have feelings for her, I still can't just divorce...especially if she has told me she will never get divorced herself? It all just seems like some sort of mind game to her.

As for the blackmail...she has told me that she doesn't like giving oral, but does it anyway to make the guy happy. She somehow thinks this means I forced her to give me oral...even though I really wanted it, but never forced her in any way? She seems to think that it was kind of like rape because she actually didn't want to do it...although she willfully chose to do it after I asked her to?

I went to an izakaya with her a couple nights ago and we talked for a long time. She kept asking me if I want to cut ties or try to continue a relationship. Of course, she knew that I knew that she knew that if I were to say I want to cut her off, she would probably cry rape against me. There is absolutely no evidence for her claims, but it still worries me as it is a serious claim. What makes it more insane is that she forces me into situations where I have to keep with her. So, during our talk, I turned the tables and asked her if she would rather cut ties or continue. This is where more of her mind games come into play. She pretended to think on it for a while and then said well, maybe it is better to cut ties and that it might be our last time meeting...so maybe we should spend more time together and go to a love hotel.

So after the izakaya, I felt like I was forced to go to a love hotel with her. I was just laying on the bed next to her, since I didn't want to touch her. I secretly recorded some of our conversations about the same crap again, since she always talks about the same things and pressures me about the same things over and over. She finally made moves on me and I secretly audio recorded us kissing and starting to have sex on my phone.

I plan to slowly break it off with her rather than suddenly to stay on the safe side (if there is a safe side). I also have a saved screenshots of messages she sends me saying she loves me, misses, me, wants to make love, etc.

I just want to ask if I'm ever in a situation where this woman wants to cry rape against me...will I be prosecuted and found guilty even if she has no evidence and I have a lot of evidence against her? I have heard that Japan has a much better legal system than most other countries in Asia...but this is still Asia...and I'm not Asian.

I know that many people on this forum have lived in Japan a lot longer than me and know a lot more about Japan as well. I just figured I would ask. I will be consulting with a lawyer and show the evidence I have as well.
 
get out mate, if she tells your wife she tells your wife, thats the risk you took and dem the breaks

shougunnai ne?
 
get out mate, if she tells your wife she tells your wife, thats the risk you took and dem the breaks

shougunnai ne?

My wife already knows about this crazy woman as we have an open relationship. I'm not worried about my wife finding out. I don't want her to cry rape to the police or a lawyer...

I didn't do anything to this woman and she has threatened me about it but not directly. Although she has no evidence I have read that just her claim alone could be taken into court as evidence? She is obviously blackmailing me and trying to mess up my life. She is angry because I won't get divorced and propose to her. She seems super attached to me, yet says she loves her husband and doesn't want to divorce? It is all so strange. I will also tell the police or a lawyer that she knows where I live and where my wife works...she is a stalker as well!
 
Just tell her you don't see yourself proposing to a woman like her who is married and sleeping around, so she shouldn't expect you to see her for more than a sex friend. Tell her you would only divorce your wife for a quality woman.

That will put you in a superior situation toward her and diminish her self esteem.
 
Just tell her you don't see yourself proposing to a woman like her who is married and sleeping around, so she shouldn't expect you to see her for more than a sex friend. Tell her you would only divorce your wife for a quality woman.

That will put you in a superior situation toward her and diminish her self esteem.

Well, I have thought about saying something along these lines, but this woman loves having power over me. She actually give me evil smiles while we have sex because she knows I'm afraid to break it off with her. She is definitely the type to cry rape if I piss her off in any way.
 
Yeah you shouldn't piss her off, but you should try to lower her self esteem that seems high right now
 
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Yeah you shouldn't piss her off, but you should try to lower her self esteem that seems high right now

Well, I think it might all be a front for her insecurity and misery. I think the insecurity shows when she sends me texts saying she really misses me and that she feels sad. When she claims that her marriage is great and that she loves her husband, she could actually be in a terrible marriage she is not willing to admit to.

Do Japanese woman often threaten to cry rape here in Japan? I never once experienced anything like this in China...and I was hooking up with countless women for four years.
 
This woman sounds like drama wrapped around a bigger can of worms waiting to explode.

Can you back away slowly by not messaging/meeting up? Im new to all of this but I thought the point of that kind of relationship was sex and good times? There are better, less crazy women out there buddy.

Defiantly a good call to talk to a lawyer! Good luck!
 
Women . . Oh by the way what do you mean by evil smile like the one Dr. Evil does in Austin Powers. Is it followed by an evil laugh? To make things light I suggest what Ben Affleck's character does in Chasing Amy propose for a threesome with her and your wife to get it all over with and start from scratch. This way everything evens out and is back to zero. No hurt feelings. Everybody wins! #winning
 
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This woman sounds like drama wrapped around a bigger can of worms waiting to explode.

Can you back away slowly by not messaging/meeting up? Im new to all of this but I thought the point of that kind of relationship was sex and good times? There are better, less crazy women out there buddy.

Defiantly a good call to talk to a lawyer! Good luck!

She is super hot and the sex is amazing...but she is nuts.
 
Women . . Oh by the way what do you mean by evil smile like the one Dr. Evil does in Austin Powers. Is it followed by an evil laugh? To make things light I suggest what Ben Affleck's character does in Chasing Amy propose for a threesome with her and your wife to get it all over with and start from scratch. This way everything evens out and is back to zero. No hurt feelings. Everybody wins! #winning

I wish it were that kind of smile. It is more like the smile after the little girl from the Exorcist gets possessed and soils herself...which is ironic since she once wanted to do scat and piss play with me. I refused and must have awoken the beast from within.
 
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To play the devil's advocate with someone like her is a losing game. I suggest that you play your cards well limit time spent with her including text messaging and whatnot. Intentionally make her catch you with another woman albeit a younger and hotter one. You could hire someone for this. Then let things die out. If she is really crazy she will drive herself nuts and want nothing to do with you. Well then enjoy watching her self destruct!
 
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I wish it were that kind of smile. It is more like the smile after the little girl from the Exorcist gets possessed and soils herself...which is ironic since she once wanted to do scat and piss play with me. I refused and must have awoken the beast from within.

You are shitting me that is crazy. I wouldn't want a woman like that even if the sex is amazing. Well if it's the greatest sex in the world with the best orgasm in the world I would consider. It must be that good huh? I don't know man that is weird. Where did you find her?
 
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You are shitting me that is crazy. I wouldn't want a woman like that even if the sex is amazing. Well if it's the greatest sex in the world with the best orgasm in the world I would consider. It must be that good huh? I don't know man that is weird. Where did you find her?

Unfortunately, a plan like this would send her into a rage, which would be really bad for me. I'm going to try to get her to feel guilty for trying to ruin my life in such a ridiculous way. This will hopefully be possible...if not, I will assume she is a complete sociopath, devoid of all human emotion.

One other idea I had was to take a secret photo of her when we are at a love hotel together or anywhere else, but especially at a love hotel. My idea now is to just keep meeting with her without getting her to coming more obsessed with me while each time we hangout, I secretly audio record all our conversations and try to take secret photos of us together. I also screenshot and save texts she sends me. I want to just let all this pile up as evidence against her claim, should she actually cry rape. It is ridiculous, because she is forcing me to stay with her and have sex with her using blackmail.

It has been effecting my mental state and stress levels as well. Each day, I go through phases where I feel like she has no evidence and that I will be alright since I'm building up a possible case against her...then sometimes during the day, I start to really doubt myself and think that she might completely destroy my life in the future...along with my wife's life too?

Does anyone have any other good ideas? I will talk with a lawyer as well. I can't be the only guy who has been in this type of situation with a crazy clinger...right?
 
get out mate, if she tells your wife she tells your wife, thats the risk you took and dem the breaks

shougunnai ne?

By get out...do you mean just get out of my situation with her or get out of Japan completely? That is difficult to do since I'm married. I could always skip town for a while, but then I might be too paranoid to return. This woman knows which building I live in and where my wife lives, so that is bad for me too.

I really wanted to continue living in this area as I love it...now I will just have to hope either this woman leaves (she talked about apartment hunting with her husband) or leave myself...
 
To the OP : why don't you finally tell the psycho about your dirty little secret?

Tell her that you've kept secret until now that you're a scatologist and that you'd divorce your wife if she'd enjoy eating your shit and drink your piss ... coz that's what really turns you on :)

I bet you can find something even grosser.

Use your imagination :)
 
i meant leave the relationship with her.. why would you stay? call her bluff
 
@TokyoJoeblow, damn. Compared to my dilemma, you definitely got the shitty end of the stick. Dont get me wrong, more power to you brother but I'm learning from your thread on what to watch out for if ever my neighborhood voyeur decided to advance.

Good luck yo
 
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Ok, so today we agreed to meet at this park nearby her house, but since it was raining, she told me to just come to her apartment. I was super hesitant on that since she was telling me before how if her husband ever found out about us, he would probably try to "kill me", which I have her on record saying. I tried to talk her into meeting at a cafe or somewhere else instead but she just kept saying she has a headache and doesn't want to get sick, blah blah.

She assured me that her husband wasn't home, so I finally went. I secretly recorded all our conversations again and today she was in a much better mood thankfully. She wasn't talking about the bs rape allegations or threatening me at all. She does often complain about how she doesn't get any sleep and sometimes says it is because of me, which is bs since she has told me she has had sleep problems since before we even met.

As for steering the conversation, I was able to stay off any important and negative topics. I still left some time for silence to see if she would just suddenly bring up anything crazy again and she didn't. If she does talk about something crazy, I would try to diffuse the situation, but either way, everything we talk about is on record.

By getting her more calm, somewhat normal side talking with me, I feel that it would provide good evidence that I'm not a bad person and that even she thinks so too, hence the friendlier talks. I still worry that all this evidence that should prove I'm a good person, might blow up in my face? I don't know about Japan, but in the US and most other parts of the world, statistics show that most rapes occur from people they know. So...maybe having more and more audio recordings between us could be screwing me over rather than building a case in my defense?

P.S. While we were talking, she kept slowly getting closer and closer to me. It started out as footsie and she got on my lap and started making out with me. After a short while kissing, I asked her if we could just kiss and not have sex and she acted surprised and disappointed? Well, what did she expect after threatening me just four days ago?
 
What if she isn't bluffing? Then it is off to prison on false charges I go...right?

its just words right now.. they are meaningless.. say i am sorry you feel that way and cut off ties from her.. i cant see what she would stand to gain from crying rape.. move on as politely as you can
 
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Why don't you throw away your detective equipment and switch your brain on....... assuming she is a nutcase and is hooked on you, think about what buttons you need to press to unhook yourself as quickly and quietly as possible. Forget about lawyers, police, rape allegations ...focus on turning her off you ASAP.