Destined to be alone!!!

[Wwanderer]

Like one of the posters on here stated, I am probably just rushing things. As in i am not even up to a month in Tokyo so i guess time will tell...

And Wwho Wwould that have been??

A rough rule-of-thumb I've found useful is that you should give any major change in your life or circumstances about a year before trying to evaluate it as good or bad. There are exceptions of course, but moving to a new city probably fits that prescription.

-Ww

 

[smsjp]

And Wwho Wwould that have been??

A rough rule-of-thumb I've found useful is that you should give any major change in your life or circumstances about a year before trying to evaluate it as good or bad. There are exceptions of course, but moving to a new city probably fits that prescription.

-Ww

I apologize....

Credits go to the one and only Wwanderer.

 

[User#8628]

And Wwho Wwould that have been??

A rough rule-of-thumb I've found useful is that you should give any major change in your life or circumstances about a year before trying to evaluate it as good or bad. There are exceptions of course, but moving to a new city probably fits that prescription.

-Ww

Even then, it usually has both good and bad sides and is not black and white.

 

[faboo2001]

As a guy who is and has been single for most of his life, I can say that most of the time it's a matter of my attitude on the matter. I know for a fact that I can be dating someone right now if I actually make the effort and, for lack of a better term, "lower my standards".

I can totally relate to being exhausted and drained, and I can honestly say that sometimes that's why I don't bother with finding a girlfriend. It's not so much the effort of going to find one, but it's the part of being in a relationship that can be/is a lot of work. I'm enjoying the freedom of single life too much to bother with that, and thankfully I also have friends and family that fill in the void of "loneliness".

But anyway, the point is that if you're really serious in wanting to find someone, you usually have to work on yourself first. Work out your schedule so that you get plenty of rest for Sunday. Make the effort to meet new people, maybe by finding an interest groups you can join or by joining online dating sites. If self-image is an issue, you can work on that physically or maybe even mentally. Good luck!

 

[BankerguyCanada]

rough age?
aprox. income?
style? hobbies?
looks (scale 1- 10) in your opinion
ethnicity?

if i knew more about you i could put together a better answer

 

[smsjp]

rough age?
aprox. income?
style? hobbies?
looks (scale 1- 10) in your opinion
ethnicity?

if i knew more about you i could put together a better answer

Just out of curiosity what kind of answer you would produce, here are the answers to your question

1. early 30s
2. Middle range IT income
3. Style?? i am confused on this one
4. hobbies, read books, programming, traveling, sightseeing
5. 6-7ish
7. African but have been told i look or sound nothing like it.

Indulge me.....

 

[faboo2001]

3. Style?? i am confused on this one

Usually means how you dress, the kind of clothes you usually wear.

 

[BankerguyCanada]

Just out of curiosity what kind of answer you would produce, here are the answers to your question

1. early 30s
2. Middle range IT income
3. Style?? i am confused on this one
4. hobbies, read books, programming, traveling, sightseeing
5. 6-7ish
7. African but have been told i look or sound nothing like it.

Indulge me.....

buddy.... you've got it made.
If in your 20's you've got youth on your side but maybe not the experience or disposible income.
40's you smarter and have more money but when trying to socialize ..be a part of the party scene or date scene... it can be a bit tough since peope miight look at u like "why isnt he married?" etc etc..especially if you're chilling with a younger crowd.
30's... thats the best imo. You and me are in the same boat. we dont look out of place when with people in their 20's but we have a bit more experience and more financial means. And if we're making friends/dating scene with older ppl in their 40's then that works too.

So i guess what im saying is that you're the perfect age where you can mingle with almost anyone. You have a full-time job and are at least a decent looking dude. So just get out there!!! I thought you were going to have some weird problems / situation and id need to think hard in order to give you some useful tips.
but yea.. just get out there and i think you'll quickly establish a new social circle.
Concerts, meetup parties or language echange gatherings, go to touristy places, local events (usually lots in the summer!). Just dont stay home.

 

[smsjp]

buddy.... you've got it made.
If in your 20's you've got youth on your side but maybe not the experience or disposible income.
40's you smarter and have more money but when trying to socialize ..be a part of the party scene or date scene... it can be a bit tough since peope miight look at u like "why isnt he married?" etc etc..especially if you're chilling with a younger crowd.
30's... thats the best imo. You and me are in the same boat. we dont look out of place when with people in their 20's but we have a bit more experience and more financial means. And if we're making friends/dating scene with older ppl in their 40's then that works too.

So i guess what im saying is that you're the perfect age where you can mingle with almost anyone. You have a full-time job and are at least a decent looking dude. So just get out there!!! I thought you were going to have some weird problems / situation and id need to think hard in order to give you some useful tips.
but yea.. just get out there and i think you'll quickly establish a new social circle.
Concerts, meetup parties or language echange gatherings, go to touristy places, local events (usually lots in the summer!). Just dont stay home.

Thanks bud. Guess i need to do a bit more socializing...

 

[smsjp]

Usually means how you dress, the kind of clothes you usually wear.

I figured thats what he or she meant. Just didnt want to jump the gun...

 

[BankerguyCanada]

Thanks bud. Guess i need to do a bit more socializing...

If you play any sports, maybe consider joining a casual league / drop in type thing.
I play beer league ice hockey in the winter and softball in the summer. good chance to expand your social circle there. Usually they all go out for beers after the game. (at least we do in canada!)

 

[faboo2001]

40's you smarter and have more money but when trying to socialize ..be a part of the party scene or date scene... it can be a bit tough since peope miight look at u like "why isnt he married?" etc etc..especially if you're chilling with a younger crowd.

Ugh, still in my mid 30's but I can still totally relate to that. Not that I'm going around socializing to get into the dating scene, but the subject and the "questions" do come up once in a while. Although sometimes it's because they think I'm a "nice guy" and that I'd be a great boyfriend/husband/dad, so it's not all bad.

Also totally agree with joining a group that shares your interests. And it doesn't have to be sports, there are many groups out their for practically any hobby. Taking part in something you already have a passion for with people who share your interest(s), I find it makes for a very comfortable environment to socialize in. Maybe you won't find that special someone within that group, but it would at least help increase your circle of friends.

 

[majimekun]

First, if you let you work take over your private life you'll never be able to find someone.

So you'd better have this one sorted before you start looking for someone.

Finding people starts with only two simple things:
1. feeling great inside
2. smiling naturally quite a lot.

It's that simple.
It attracts looks on you and it makes people want to interact with you.

If you're too tired to do that you'll have to use your wallet and go for paid services which I'm sure you want to avoid.

Just out of curiosity what kind of answer you would produce, here are the answers to your question

1. early 30s
2. Middle range IT income
3. Style?? i am confused on this one
4. hobbies, read books, programming, traveling, sightseeing
5. 6-7ish
7. African but have been told i look or sound nothing like it.

Indulge me.....

 

[BankerguyCanada]

Ugh, still in my mid 30's but I can still totally relate to that. Not that I'm going around socializing to get into the dating scene, but the subject and the "questions" do come up once in a while. Although sometimes it's because they think I'm a "nice guy" and that I'd be a great boyfriend/husband/dad, so it's not all bad.

Also totally agree with joining a group that shares your interests. And it doesn't have to be sports, there are many groups out their for practically any hobby. Taking part in something you already have a passion for with people who share your interest(s), I find it makes for a very comfortable environment to socialize in. Maybe you won't find that special someone within that group, but it would at least help increase your circle of friends.

my buddy joing a language exchange / karaoke group through Meetup. met his accountant and GF through there (plus other friends im sure). So yes..i agree.. there are groups for any kind of shared interest (yoga, knitting, bookclubs, etc)

 

[emiliapoesy]

You definitely want to engage in classes or group activities on your off day to expose yourself to new people! What are your hobbies?