Do You Believe That A Person Can Be Out Of Your League?

Yes, I do. It's a matter of attitudes, mostly. If you believe the other person is out of your league, you will be extremely submissive and clingy and will alter your behavior to suit what you think the other person wants. This is not healthy, and will not result in a successful relationship. Meanwhile, if the other person says/feels that you are unlike other people they have dated, then you are likely an aberration and will not last. Even if you are good for them (i.e., treat them better, etc.) that is not what they want, for reasons of their own, and you will not likely change them (that's co-dependency, Rescuer Syndrome, etc.).

The above assumes you even get a shot at them. I think there are clear examples of people who are out of other people's league for reasons to do with attractiveness, age, social status, wealth, etc. Lady Gaga is out of my league. Justin Bieber is out of 3.5 billion girls' league (however we may feel about him). You are out of my league, because you are young and beautiful and desired by an endless stream of men who have attributes you would prefer to mine, which is why I would have to pay to spend time with you.

Which I plan to do some day.
But it only supports my point.
So sayeth Uncle NED anyway.
 
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OK, you need to help a non-native savage out a bit. Doesn't the expression out of my league also carry the meaning you would actually like to be in that league?

Because I am pretty sure there are tens of girls out there that would turn lesbian the moment when I become the only guy left in the world. But as most of these girls are redheads or called Tiffany I couldn't care less. Would they still be called to be out of my league?
 
Yes, I do. It's a matter of attitudes, mostly. If you believe the other person is out of your league, you will be extremely submissive and clingy and will alter your behavior to the suit what you think the other person wants. This is not healthy, and will not result in a successful relationship. Meanwhile, if the other person says/feels that you are unlike other people they have dated, then you are likely an aberration and will not last. Even if you are good for them (i.e., treat them better, etc.) that is not what they want, for reasons of their own, and you will not likely change them (that's co-dependency, Rescuer Syndrome, etc.).

The above assumes you even get a shot at them. I think there are clear examples of people who are out of other people's league for reasons to do with attractiveness, age, social status, wealth, etc. Lady Gaga is out of my league. Justin Bieber is out of 3.5 billion girls' league (however we may feel about him). You are out of my league, because you are young and beautiful and desired by an endless stream of men who have attributes you would prefer to mine, which is why I would have to pay to spend time with you.

Which I plan to do some day.
But it only supports my point.
So sayeth Uncle NED anyway.

You under-estimate yourself
Many many girls are beneath your league :)
 
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OK, you need to help a non-native savage out a bit. Doesn't the expression out of my league also carry the meaning you would actually like to be in that league?

Because I am pretty sure there are tens of girls out there that would turn lesbian the moment when I become the only guy left in the world. But as most of these girls are redheads or called Tiffany I couldn't care less. Would they still be called to be out of my league?
depends on the context I guess, it can indeed be about leagues classified in a horizontal scale but I usually hear that expression for vertical classification.

in the horizontal classification I guess even the most ugly nazi girl would be out of my league.

ps : I love redheads :love:
 
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JJ rules!

I was looking at this and the first 2:40 I was like how in the hell this Yankee gets away with this? And exactly at that point I realised he is an Aussie. Yeah, I think the secret to happiness is to be an Aussie; you just get away with anything.
 
I was looking at this and the first 2:40 I was like how in the hell this Yankee gets away with this? And exactly at that point I realised he is an Aussie. Yeah, I think the secret to happiness is to be an Aussie; you just get away with anything.
He does a bit in his gun control rant where he says, "What's really pissing some of you off... is that I'm foreign. And there's this tape loop running in your head: 'DON'T LIKE IT, GO HOME! DON'T LIKE IT, GO HOME!'":LOL:
 
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He does a bit in his gun control rant where he says, "What's really pissing some of you off... is that I'm foreign. And there's this tape loop running in your head: 'DON'T LIKE IT, GO HOME! DON'T LIKE IT, GO HOME!'":LOL:

I do like my guns so I almost didn't like him but then he says things like "big black guy who was as gay as the day is long" and "Asperger as fuck" and "why you are such a cunt?" so how could I not love him?
 
OK, you need to help a non-native savage out a bit. Doesn't the expression out of my league also carry the meaning you would actually like to be in that league?

Because I am pretty sure there are tens of girls out there that would turn lesbian the moment when I become the only guy left in the world. But as most of these girls are redheads or called Tiffany I couldn't care less. Would they still be called to be out of my league?

The most common usage of that term means that the other person is in a superior league.

In American slang if you were going to refer to someone you view as inferior you say something like, "That redhead is bush league."

You could also say, "Tiffany is in the minor leagues."

However, I'm not sure how you would describe a hottie that you just aren't interested in.

"Not my cup of tea" is the only thing that comes to mind.
 
I was looking at this and the first 2:40 I was like how in the hell this Yankee gets away with this? And exactly at that point I realised he is an Aussie. Yeah, I think the secret to happiness is to be an Aussie; you just get away with anything.

I binged watched his Netflix show. He brings his disabled nephew to a whorehouse so he can lose his virginity. And that's much milder than his stand ups!
 
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However, I'm not sure how you would describe a hottie that you just aren't interested in.

"Not my cup of tea" is the only thing that comes to mind.
The mot juste in the case of the Nazi girl in Frenchy's example (a person whose Weltanschauung makes them unattractive to the point of being unacceptable) is "Beyond the Pale."
 
Might be a good topic.

a case of inferiority complex comes to mind ... even at my age it still hits me ... meeting a girl, even for p4p, for the first time is always an experience for me.

as I accepted that everyone is different ... then no one can be *unreachable* ... just have to be confident and approach them in a different way.
 
I binged watched his Netflix show. He brings his disabled nephew to a whorehouse so he can lose his virginity. And that's much milder than his stand ups!
you mean the tv show based on his stand up in "alcoholocaust" ?
 
@MissInsomnia - If I believed that a person could be out of my league, I would be terrified to even speak to you, much less...well, you know!

Imo, believing someone to be out of your league is yet another example of a self-fulfilling expectations, at least for the most part.

-Ww

So, you really do believe that someone can be out of your league. You just choose to ignore it?

Looking at that question from a socio-economic standpoint it is clear to me that humans create boundaries associated with wealth, beauty, education and fame.

There is a degree of social mobility. There are people who can navigate from one social strata to another but make no mistake, those boundaries exist.

In your example of you being able to be with @MissInsomnia, you cross that boundary because you have something she values. You probably make that transaction pleasant by being charming and polite but you probably know that you are an interloper of sorts.

In almost every case of a person successfully crossing from one social class to another I say there is a mechanism or exception that allows for it.

If I wanted to join the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club I would have to conform to their standards, and if a Hell's Angel wanted to join my book club, they would have to conform to mine.

In the realm of dating and relationships those social boundaries absolutely exist. It is really a question of being able to move between them.

I say that is possible and I suspect you agree.
 
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So, you really do believe that someone can be out of your league. You just choose to ignore it?

I don't understand what you mean by the above...

In your example of you being able to be with @MissInsomnia, you cross that boundary because you have something she values. You probably make that transaction pleasant by being charming and polite but you probably know that you are an interloper of sorts.

If you try to guess how @MissInsomnia and I met and how we connected then and connect now, you are almost certain to get it badly wrong. However, that doesn't really matter here; we are not talking about her and me specifically...it was just a way of illustrating (to her) my feelings about this league business.

In almost every case of a person successfully crossing from one social class to another I say there is a mechanism or exception that allows for it.

If I wanted to join the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club I would have to conform to their standards, and if a Hell's Angel wanted to join my book club, they would have to conform to mine.

In the realm of dating and relationships those social boundaries absolutely exist. It is really a question of being able to move between them.

I say that is possible and I suspect you agree.

I certainly don't deny that social boundaries and divisions exist, and I strongly suspect that our only disagreement here is a semantic one of some sort. More specifically, "out of my league" does not mean "in a different social or socio-economic group" to me. Rather it means that we are not able to "play the game" together even in principle. It is difficult to articulate in part, I think, because "out of my league" has no clear consensus meaning.

-Ww
 
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Something valuable that I learned working as a bartender in university - nobody is out of anybody's league unless they believe they are.

I know a guy who physically resembles a troll doll. He's married to a former runway model - and he met her simply by having the guts to walk up and hit on her. Turned out he was the only guy at the bar that night that wasn't intimidated by her looks, and once she got past HIS odd looks, she realised he made her laugh, and they started dating.

Now, if someone else believes that you're not in their league... they're probably not in yours.
 
. It is difficult to articulate in part, I think, because "out of my league" has no clear consensus meaning.

-Ww

In common usage it means that one person is superior to another.

From the Urban Dictionary:

out of my league
a person who is not in your classsocial,physical,etc.
i like to court her but she's out of my league i bet she would never date a ordinary guy like me.

That is a good working definition for the purpose of this discussion.

It then becomes a question of social mobility.

It is obvious that a person can move between social classes under certain circumstances.

The example @Sudsy provided illustrates that.
 
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Something valuable that I learned working as a bartender in university - nobody is out of anybody's league unless they believe they are.

I know a guy who physically resembles a troll doll. He's married to a former runway model - and he met her simply by having the guts to walk up and hit on her. Turned out he was the only guy at the bar that night that wasn't intimidated by her looks, and once she got past HIS odd looks, she realised he made her laugh, and they started dating.

Now, if someone else believes that you're not in their league... they're probably not in yours.
a good friend of mine was in love with a cute girl (like normal cute, not an atomic bomb) and he was convinced she was out of his league and he tried nothing. couple of years later she married a guy looking like a caricature of him :ROFLMAO: