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Do You Guys Mention That You Are Expecting Intimacy When You Are Talking To A Potential Sugar Bb

apolyon171

apolyon171

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i wanted to know you guys opinion on this... sometimes it comes up when im talking to the girls in SA so i was wondering if its a given or do you guys bring it up when you are talking with the girl.

i know it differs case by case but i was just wondering
 
For me it is pretty much totally "case by case" and varies all over the map, and I have handled it in just about every way I can imagine in different cases.

The one overall "principle", if any, that guides me is that I try to be responsive to (my perception of) the SB's degree of comfort with the topic. This starts with reading her profile text carefully to see if it says or hints at her feelings about the sexual parts of a sugar arrangement. Many SBs say (in various words and ways) in their profiles that they are only interested in intimacy if and when some real attraction, "chemistry" (cue @User#16452 the chemist!) and feelings develop and it emerges "organically" from the relationship, pretty much as it would in a conventional dating situation. Some, surprisingly many imo, completely and flatly rule out any physical intimacy in a an absolute/categorical way. (However, not ever SB who says that in her profile actually means it; I have been told by more than one SB in private correspondence that she puts that in her profile only to weed out SDs who are solely or too motivated by sex.) There are also many SB profiles that very clearly and strongly hint that they are offering intimacy; SA appears to prohibit them from saying it too directly (which would cause SA legal problems in places where prostitution is illegal, I suppose). And yet many more are simply silent on the topic. Beyond the profile, I look to the correspondence that proceeds the meeting and then to the conversation when we meet.

Unless she signals VERY clearly that she is comfortable with an intimate sugar arrangement, the one thing I never do is jump on the topic immediately or in a demanding way. And, perhaps too obvious to mention, I avoid being crude or rude about it.

Sometimes a discussion of the financial part of the arrangement, whoever brings it up, will trigger a discussion of the physical part too, though this is not ideal imo. Talking about each other's previous or other current sugar arrangements is another common conversational path to the issue.

Once the topic is "on the table", I do try to be very clear and direct but in a respectful and polite way, but occasionally when it doesn't come up naturally in the conversation, I just see what happens naturally when we go out...but that is a relatively rare circumstance for me.

-Ww
 
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ok i see... im pretty new at the sugar baby thing so i decided to give it a try over here before i go over to japan... i ended up meeting a girl went to a cafe just to know each other... things went pretty well, but the intimacy topic was never talked about. i dident bring it up... in any case after reading your post i think ill let things flow naturally to see where things go and decide from there...
 
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apolyon171 said:
Argentina... going over to japan mid march to mid april... would stay for longer but i cant
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Thanks for the answer.

That is a VERY short period of time during which to have a sugar arrangement. It will take quick work indeed to find a suitable SB, and then to see her enough to make it feel worthwhile from her perspective. You should start contacting and corresponding with Tokyo SBs now or very soon to set up first meetings soon after your arrival. You should also list Tokyo as your location (or wherever you will be in Japan) now or very soon with an explanation in your profile's text of when you will be in town. That way SBs interested in such short term connections can start contacting you.

-Ww
 
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yea i have been doing that, i have a few dates lined up already and have explained we situation beforehand so theres no misunderstandings. seems like most of the girls are ok with a per date arrangement
 
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apolyon171 said:
yea i have been doing that, i have a few dates lined up already and have explained we situation beforehand so theres no misunderstandings. seems like most of the girls are ok with a per date arrangement
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Excellent...sounds good.

I am in and out of town so frequently and somewhat irregularly that "per date" arrangements are the most common for me, and I have found that relatively few SBs have any problem with it, given that there is a logical explanation.

-Ww
 
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apolyon171 said:
yea i find that a monthly allowance doesn't really work for me... here as well, specially on busy months where i dont have the time to see the girl, i would be basically burning money
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For a few SBs with whom I have particularly good, stable and long term connections, I do have different sorts of arrangements in which the allowance I offer is not tied to how many times we see each other. These are cases in which we realize that we are both trying to see each other as much as practical independent of the money involved. If you were to work out the effective support per date, it would sometimes be quite high and sometimes quite low, but it works out not too different on long term average...probably. Anyway, neither of us are too concerned with such issues in these cases. This is my personal favorite/preferred type of arrangement, but it isn't possible until both people are comfortable that the other is not trying to take advantage of them.

-Ww
 
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i agree, honestly since i have recently started with SA i haven't met anyone yet whom ive have that type of chemistry with, and to be quite frank with you im quite scared of that happening (i have a GF and i dont want to fuck that up even though im playing with fire here) but i can totally see what you are saying. and yea those arrangements take time in oder to establish some type of trust
 
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apolyon171 said:
im quite scared of that happening
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You should be! Lots of bad to very bad stuff can result.

But imo you also should not try to avoid it happening. Life is full of risks but is certain to become dull if you avoid them too much, and worse still, you will also avoid lots of good things in the process of trying to avoid the bad ones.

-Ww
 
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Like almost everything that has to do with women... it depends on the girl but if i dont get it by the first three dates its most probable. but thats just me.
 
Yeah I kinda wonder about this, why a guy would want this kind of paying arrangement without even getting sex but I guess.. Maybe looking at a pretty face is worth it? Hard to imagine for me but..
 
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apolyon171 said:
Like almost everything that has to do with women... it depends on the girl but if i dont get it by the first three dates its most probable. but thats just me.
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So, you are going to pay a sugar-baby around 1,500 dollars (150,000 yen) for 3 dates (or whatever) to her for FREE and the privilege of her rejecting you? Or, wasting your time, when it could have been spent on someone else, on let's say 3 dinner dates totally at your expense?
 
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apolyon171 said:
the problem with this sugar baby thing is that sex is not guaranteed though... and how did we get to 500? x date
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So, what are you paying approximately for these sugar-baby dinner dates? And around how many hours per date?
 
but yea i recognize you have a point there... but in order to get to the third date she would have to be stunning and id have to have a really good time. i think i phrased it wrong before, my bad... if theres no sexual tension theres no follow up...

i had one (if you can call it that, it was more like a meet) since i started like two weeks ago ive only met with the girl for coffee and havent spent a dime yet. shes around 300
 
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apolyon171 said:
but yea i recognize you have a point there... but in order to get to the third date she would have to be stunning and id have to have a really good time. i think i phrased it wrong before, my bad... if theres no sexual tension theres no follow up...

i had one (if you can call it that, it was more like a meet) since i started like two weeks ago ive only met with the girl for coffee and havent spent a dime yet. shes around 300
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I understand better of where you are coming from. However, no matter how stunning the woman is, I personally wouldn't go beyond the 1st date if a "sexual deal" can't or isn't worked out. Because the woman is likely confused or engaging in time wasting or attention-whoring antics.

Even if no sex on the 1st date, the logistics and outline of the sugar relationship is possible to be worked out. And the point of the 1st date is to ask any questions and get a sense of the other person. On at least the 2nd date, especially in a p4p situation, sex should arguably happen if the guy (who's paying) wants it so. 1st date too, unless there is some type of time constraint in effect by either party.
 
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Noted... i think its the fact that its been a while since i dated someone (3 years) and my head is kinda aproching this as it would a unpaid date. that is all going to change when i feel the loss of the 300 probably
 
Probably a good idea to also try to just meet women normally, like online / at bars / etc and build a social circle. That way you don't have to worry if it's a waste of your money or not. Can try both out and see which you like
 
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Solong said:
So, what are you paying approximately for these sugar-baby dinner dates? And around how many hours per date?
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Which universe club and usually other date clubs there is this thing that if it doesn't go further than dinner, the guy has to give her 10.000 for travel expenses. If they go for after, they pay the whole fee.

I think that if there is no sex, the fee should always be lower, but not non existant.
 
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