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Does the Passion always fizzle-out?

I've been in a long-term relationship so close that I came home with an ear-worm in my head all afternoon - not even a recent hit - and she is humming it as I came in the door.
 
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To The OP.

IMHO, yes it does.

And if you are young and not married it is time to bail. If you can’t make it to the altar still in lovey dovey wanna see you naked all the time, then things aren’t looking too good.
It’s only going get worse.

If on the other hand, after tying the knot, popping out a few kids, then trying to be the best mom they can causes the spice to decline and even drop out altogether, then that’s a different story.

My personal story is that I was faithful to my wife up until the last ,of our somewhat larger number th than normal in Japan, child was born (14 years ago)
Since then I have had sex with my wife a grand Total of less tha 10 times. At times I’ve considered leaving, including last year as my wife and I both have a major birthday coming that will coincide with a major wedding anniversary, and I had a major “grass is greener” thing where I thought if I stay through these events, I’m resigning myself to this mediocre life.
Fortunately I have some good friends, who helped me look at what I’ve got an accept how amazing it is. So now I’m actively planning on making these events the best they can possibly to show my wife how important she is.

Will it stop my SD /. p4p life? No way
Will I ever sleep with my wife again? Prob not

But as we get older I’m sure we’re gonna help each other thru what ever hurdles come our way.

Sorry for the longish reply, but my point is you can get the razzle dazzle anywhere, anytime. But being able to come home to a happy loving family beats the shit out of anything else out there.
 
To The OP.

IMHO, yes it does.

And if you are young and not married it is time to bail. If you can’t make it to the altar still in lovey dovey wanna see you naked all the time, then things aren’t looking too good.
It’s only going get worse.

If on the other hand, after tying the knot, popping out a few kids, then trying to be the best mom they can causes the spice to decline and even drop out altogether, then that’s a different story.

My personal story is that I was faithful to my wife up until the last ,of our somewhat larger number th than normal in Japan, child was born (14 years ago)
Since then I have had sex with my wife a grand Total of less tha 10 times. At times I’ve considered leaving, including last year as my wife and I both have a major birthday coming that will coincide with a major wedding anniversary, and I had a major “grass is greener” thing where I thought if I stay through these events, I’m resigning myself to this mediocre life.
Fortunately I have some good friends, who helped me look at what I’ve got an accept how amazing it is. So now I’m actively planning on making these events the best they can possibly to show my wife how important she is.

Will it stop my SD /. p4p life? No way
Will I ever sleep with my wife again? Prob not

But as we get older I’m sure we’re gonna help each other thru what ever hurdles come our way.

Sorry for the longish reply, but my point is you can get the razzle dazzle anywhere, anytime. But being able to come home to a happy loving family beats the shit out of anything else out there.
In Europe its common to still keep some half baked sex in the relationship even after childen (like once a month or so) but Japanese people often don't bother.

I think you can have a happy family and a satisfying sexlife and they don't have to be with the same person.
You can't realistically expect one person to give you the world, i guess.
Like that joke: it's important to find a woman who's smart, who's pretty, who's a good cook, who throughouly cleans... its also important that these women never meet.
 
Im curious what people are going to respond with here.

Personally for me... the best connections ive had with woman in the past almost always slowly fizzle out. This one korean girl i was seeing... we had that hot, passionate, steamy fuck your brains out connection for about 3 years. i remember back then i really appreciated it..i knew what i had was special. However, that did eventually die out. I can keep caring for and wholeheartedly love a woman after the passion settles down to the eventual 'simmer' ...then mundane 'room temp' type of physical connection.. but does that crazy passion ever last forever?
Has anyone here experienced that?
If i found that ..id put a ring on it.. but it seems impossible...
Maybe its just me?
sometimes it lasts 6 months...a year.. or three (in that one case)
Maybe its porns fault? my own?
*sigh*

thoughts?

There is a couple I know. They have been together for 10 years and have just had their first baby. Here are the things that work for them: they do team sports together, they make sex an absolute priority (once a day minimum), they make date nights a regular thing. Along with constant PDAs and a shared sense of humour. Maybe these things are the key?
 
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There is a couple I know. They have been together for 10 years and have just had their first baby. Here are the things that work for them: they do team sports together, they make sex an absolute priority (once a day minimum), they make date nights a regular thing. Along with constant PDAs and a shared sense of humour. Maybe these things are the key?

So how's it working out now there's a baby in the equation?
 
To The OP.

IMHO, yes it does.

And if you are young and not married it is time to bail. If you can’t make it to the altar still in lovey dovey wanna see you naked all the time, then things aren’t looking too good.
It’s only going get worse.

If on the other hand, after tying the knot, popping out a few kids, then trying to be the best mom they can causes the spice to decline and even drop out altogether, then that’s a different story.

My personal story is that I was faithful to my wife up until the last ,of our somewhat larger number th than normal in Japan, child was born (14 years ago)
Since then I have had sex with my wife a grand Total of less tha 10 times. At times I’ve considered leaving, including last year as my wife and I both have a major birthday coming that will coincide with a major wedding anniversary, and I had a major “grass is greener” thing where I thought if I stay through these events, I’m resigning myself to this mediocre life.
Fortunately I have some good friends, who helped me look at what I’ve got an accept how amazing it is. So now I’m actively planning on making these events the best they can possibly to show my wife how important she is.

Will it stop my SD /. p4p life? No way
Will I ever sleep with my wife again? Prob not

But as we get older I’m sure we’re gonna help each other thru what ever hurdles come our way.

Sorry for the longish reply, but my point is you can get the razzle dazzle anywhere, anytime. But being able to come home to a happy loving family beats the shit out of anything else out there.
This makes sense to me... thank you so much
 
So how's it working out now there's a baby in the equation?

Business as usual, from what I can tell. They are both highly involved with the baby, but take the approach of, "the baby joins us, not the other way around". I guess they are just fortunate to have a relatively 'easy' baby- one that is pretty calm. They've just returned from a weekend away (with the baby, obviously).
The couple spend a lot of time just joking around and making each other laugh- I think this is important.
 
Losing passion is just a part of life. think about any hobby you've had. when you first started think about how exciting and new everything felt. Now think about it a few years later. It may still be fun and you may still get a large amount of pleasure out of it, but its not like when you first started.

If you want intense passion forever, I'm afraid your are casing a dragon my friend.
 
I don't understand how people just.. give up on sex. In Europe it's very normal for middle aged couples to have an active, regular sex life. Who cares how you look? It's not like fat police is watching you in the bedroom. Usually it stops when someone is diagnosed with a serious health problem, menopause or simply because of old age. Having kids is not a valid reason to stop having sex?

My parents would regularly lock their room and I was happy that I had parents who loved each other. I sort of knew what was going on but it was normal to me, it didn't mess up my mind.

Maybe try to get couple's therapy sessions to spark your sex life. I wouldn't want anyone to be confined to a sexless marriage, it's very important for couples to remain sexually active.
 
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I don't understand how people just.. give up on sex. In Europe it's very normal for middle aged couples to have an active, regular sex life. Who cares how you look? It's not like fat police is watching you in the bedroom. ... ...I wouldn't want anyone to be confined to a sexless marriage, it's very important for couples to remain sexually active.
My dad passed away a few years ago. After that my step-mom - in her 80's - started dating again. She was having a blast meeting and screwing guys. Not just anybody, but she wasn't holding back too much. I was happy to know she was living a full life.
 
I don't understand how people just.. give up on sex. In Europe it's very normal for middle aged couples to have an active, regular sex life. Who cares how you look? It's not like fat police is watching you in the bedroom. Usually it stops when someone is diagnosed with a serious health problem, menopause or simply because of old age. Having kids is not a valid reason to stop having sex?

My parents would regularly lock their room and I was happy that I had parents who loved each other. I sort of knew what was going on but it was normal to me, it didn't mess up my mind.

Maybe try to get couple's therapy sessions to spark your sex life. I wouldn't want anyone to be confined to a sexless marriage, it's very important for couples to remain sexually active.

Who said anything about giving up on sex? lol. I thought this thread was about passion? You can obviously still have sex with someone with or without passion. Sex does not equal passion either. you could be passionately in love with someone and never even touch the other person as well.

Also depending on your living situation having kids can ABSOLUTELY keep you from having sex. How can you get busy when you live in a 1DK or 2DK with paper thin walls and don't have access to love hotels? Or maybe your parents live with you? Or you and/or your partner are just too tired after working long salary man hours to provide for said kids. Having kids is TOUGH and tiring job in and of itself. Add working a real job to that, along with some of the things i've just mentioned and it should be clear to see.
 
I wasn't replying to you :) rusty trombone was talking about his problems with his wife so my reply was to that. Sorry if I didn't make myself more clear, but I still think a healthy couple (of course old age and illnesses are exception) needs some sex in their life and has to stop finding excuses if they want to be more than roommates. Couple therapists also suggest finding ways to spark up your sex life.
 
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Hey @Simonka
Thanks for the reply. However you’re mistaken, if you view the life I have with my wife as a problem. Just cos sex is not their anymore doesn’t mean she is not the most important in my life.

I like watching live sport, but we don’t have j sports at our place. So what I do is go and watch it elsewhere. Which is more fun anyway.
 
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