Don`t Want To Make My Wife Sick

Discussion in 'Questions, Answers & Warnings' started by User#3673, Mar 1, 2014.

  1. User#3673

    User#3673 TAG Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Likes Received:
    87
    So you are married or in a steady relationship. It is good. You don`t want to throw it away. But you need more TLC on the side.
    In my case I have a great life. It isn`t just a relationship, it is the whole shebang. Great life, great wife and great kids and a nice home.

    Didn`t want to throw all that away just because I wasn`t getting enough sex. And not to be critical of anyone who has gotten divorced for the lack of sex, but in my case, there were so many other factors, saying we should all be together, that I either had to realize that I would get sex, grudgingly once a month and grin and bear it, or I could have an affair, or I could pay for it.

    For many years after we had kids, my compromise was grin and bear it, or argue about it a lot and bear it. Finally a year ago I had, had enough.

    I debated the Have an Affair or P4P Route - The Grin and Bear it route had gone really stale!

    I have chosen the P4P option as I feel overall it is less messy. By that I mean there are fewer complicatons. The situation is understood.

    However with an affair, I feel always one or the other person either wants more from it, or one or the other wants to break it off.
    Both can lead to messy situations.

    I have heard time and time again, guys who thought the lady knew the situation that it was just for fun, only to have her show up at his home, in which case his wife found out about it. Or she attempted suicide, in which case his wife usually found out about it.

    Anyway, I have chosen to go the P4P route, as it has more variety (different women) and I feel it is safer than having an affair, for some of the reasons outlined above.

    After many years of struggling through the lack of sex in my marriage, about a year ago, I decided to go the P4P route. And I am still learning.

    My J-wife knows I get hj massages sometimes, but she doesn`t know I get FS or BBJ.

    So far I have had covered FS, uncovered sumata and BBJ. I have never done DATY. I have tried to study all of this as much as I can, but even doctors don`t seem to entirely know the whole story of what you can catch and how.

    I had a condom break during FS with a Chinese lady in Tokyo. I waited 3 months and got tested and everything was fine. Whew!

    A friend of mine said, you need to get condoms from home. So I did. I had been relying on the condoms she supplied. Big mistake.

    I know some of you have been mongering (punting) for years, so I ask for your advice.

    This question is KEY FOR ME:

    How do you stay safe and not give any disease(s) to your significant other?

    That would just be terrible for me and my wife, were I to ever give her an STD. I think probably the marriage would survive but it would be icey for a long time, and maybe the little love making we do would dry up totally.
     
  2. Solong

    Solong TAG Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Oct 6, 2017
    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    2,187
    Use condoms when doing P4P.

    Other option is get a steady mistress who is good at sex. Have her STD tested.
     
  3. Raven

    Raven TAG Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Nov 26, 2020
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    28
    Honestly, I think the chances of you giving something to your wife are pretty slim since you do not seem to be having sex. It is more of a question of you not catching something serious, keeping your mongering secret and not having it blow up in your face.

    The easiest way is P4P. You pay, get the service and no-one knows about it but you. You should always use condoms. However, they do not prevent everything though e.g. you can still get things like genital warts. You may want to get tested for STD periodically.

    I would recommend getting a married woman for sex friend rather than a mistress. There are quite a few of them who are in your situation and looking for a sex partner. I am sure you can find someone who is willing to meet periodically. Someone who is in the same situation should know how to respect your privacy because she also would not want her husband to find about her own affairs. That way both of you can keep your privacy but enjoy mutual sex. Give as little information as you can. Use false names. Believe me, they also use false names. Do not give any mobile numbers or other private information. Your partner should understand. If she wants to learn more details or seems to be falling into you, it will be easy to move on.

    You can use classifieds on the Internet.
     
  4. Solong

    Solong TAG Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Oct 6, 2017
    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    2,187
    To not exchange phone numbers, LINE is great. You can make free calls using LINE as well, in addition to messaging.
     
    Wwanderer likes this.
  5. Wwanderer

    WwandererWwanderer is a Verified Member Kids, don't try this at home!

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2010
    Last Seen:
    Nov 23, 2019
    Messages:
    7,049
    Likes Received:
    15,772
    There's no *perfect* safety of course; condoms don't protect you from all STDs; condoms fail occasionally; there are serious non-STDs you can catch during sex etc. You just have to face those facts and make your peace with tolerating the unavoidable risks...or stop and go back to "grin and bear it".

    The good news is that the risks of catching something are quite small if you use condoms and even if you don't. Without (again) going all numbers and stats on this topic, one can think of it qualitatively as comparable to the difference between always wearing a seatbelt versus never using them or only sometimes. Either way you are not particularly likely to be killed/injured in a car crash.

    Moreover, even if you catch something, there is a very good chance that your wife will not get it from you, especially since you have sex with her only rarely. This means that you (and she) would have to be very unlucky *twice* before your nightmare scenario would come to pass.

    Note also that your immune system is your first line of defense. We are all exposed to germs of many kinds constantly, every day and each hour, and for the most part do not catch the associated disease due to our bodies' natural mechanisms for dealing with potential infections. It follows, as pointed out by a mongering MD (or so he claimed) on another board many years ago, that making sure that your immune system is in good shape when you partake in p4p (or np4p for that matter) is probably the single most effective thing you can do to protect yourself from STDs and other diseases.

    -Ww
     
    #5 Wwanderer, Mar 2, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2014
    User#3673 likes this.
  6. Solong

    Solong TAG Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Oct 6, 2017
    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    2,187
    While what you stated are viable options, there are 2 major issues that should be noted.

    1) Married women can be problematic. The husband may find out and sue you or try to confront you. The other is the married woman might be seeking emotional commitment, and trying to make a dangerous jump from her husband to the other guy.

    Japan has unusual laws that allow the wife or husband to sue the person their spouse is cheating with for money. The only protections are HIDING the affair, a PROVABLE claim that you didn't know she/he was married, or that you have done things so sexually wild that the wife looks like the initiator. Example- SHE asked you to take her to a swinger bar or have sex outside in a park.

    Keep in my mind that the situation might get so nasty that they pull up e-mail records. It's absolutely essential to protect yourself from married women giving out your information.

    You have to also be sure the married woman is mentally stable. This is very different from married men. Most married men are just looking for sex. However, many married women have all kinds of complex emotional needs that they might try to attach to the affair.

    If a married man has a mistress, random sex friends, or random P4P providers then HE simply has to worry about protecting his information and affairs, not about if the married woman is protecting his information.

    2) The quality of sex with a standard P4P provider might be unsatisfactory or expense an issue.

    Most husbands are use to NO condoms and are seeking ADVENTUROUS sex that the wife isn't providing. So it may not be simply about just another body or a pretty face, as many women falsely think. It can be that the husband wants something more sexually or is sexually bored.

    Consequently a sexually wilder girlfriend, sugarbaby, or mistress might be more satisfactory for what the guy wants. He might also have various fetishes or unfulfilled fantasies.

    P4P or spending on girlfriends can also create money issues in the marriage or a paper trail of financial records. The husband should be mindful about how it looks like he is spending his money and hide that well too.
     
  7. Will

    Will TAG Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2014
    Last Seen:
    Mar 6, 2014
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    9
    You can get herpes from a public toilet. ... rare, but still hapens. Some viruses can lay dormant for years before signs appear. Aids, or hiv, is a very weak virus outside of the human body. I work in a jail, and these things were told to me by the jail doctor.
    I have fucked alot over the years. Bring your own condoms, make sure that they are the right size too!! Become tech savvy, and stay one step ahead of the wife.
     
  8. dreams

    dreams TAG Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Aug 15, 2018
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    686
     
  9. Raven

    Raven TAG Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Nov 26, 2020
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    28
    I generally agree with the comments made by above TAGgers.

    P4P is the least risky route. However, speaking for myself, I could never get completely satisfied with it since I usually find the services lacking enthusiasm. A good-looking mistress and/or sugar-baby is definitely more fun but more costly and can be a strain on one's financials. I am also not that convinced that such an option is less risky than a married woman. There are known cases where the mistress made her presence known to the wife so that the guy would get divorced and marry her instead. If you go that route, make sure to cover your tracks.

    And for trivia, a Japanese friend once told me "If you are paying for it, it is not considered cheating." o_O
     
    User#3673 likes this.
  10. User#3673

    User#3673 TAG Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Likes Received:
    87
    Thanks a lot for all of your thoughtful answers guys! I appreciate it.
     
  11. justgedo75

    justgedo75 TAG Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2014
    Last Seen:
    Apr 22, 2015
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    1
    Interesting, I am in the exact same situation, I am going for the find a married woman route here in Tokyo, or at least a woman who knows I'm married and can be cool about it....I'm not wealthy enough to pay for it on a regular basis though....getting an std is a major worry for me, especially since I love to eat pussy....
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Solong

    Solong TAG Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Oct 6, 2017
    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    2,187
    Many single Japanese women don't mind if the guy is married. So this is a cultural advantage, however...

    Make sure to protect your very personal information from the side-girlfriend. NEVER trust side action with personal information, unless you have known her a long time. That means don't tell her your wife's name, kids' names, exactly where you live, your office location, exact company name, etc...
     
    #12 Solong, Apr 29, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2014
    justgedo75 likes this.
  13. User#3673

    User#3673 TAG Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2013
    Last Seen:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Likes Received:
    87
    I chose the P4P route as I have heard too many horror stories of the side girlfriend/mistress wanting more, or attempting suicide or what have you. P4P while it has drawbacks the rules are clear. Many are in the same situation. That is one reason
    Japan`s P4P industry dwarfs the GDP of many countries.
     
    Wwanderer likes this.
  14. Wwanderer

    WwandererWwanderer is a Verified Member Kids, don't try this at home!

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2010
    Last Seen:
    Nov 23, 2019
    Messages:
    7,049
    Likes Received:
    15,772
    Well expressed...and long may it remain so!

    -Ww
     

Share This Page