Guest viewing is limited

Done screwed up

As a result they fail to realize their potential and they are isolated and unhappy.

This. You don't study the language for this or that reason, but because it makes your life better and you will be happier.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Unhurried Harry
No I have not cheated on her. However this brings up an interesting thing about her, there have been a couple of weekends were she has come down to where I lived and either A) Not inform me that she was in town and drinking with her friends, I had to find out from the plethora of Bartenders I know B) Coming in to town and letting me know, then not texting me until the next day. Despite me texting her through out the night and calling a few times. Reason? She was drunk.

I really do not want to think that she is cheating on me however, usually when someone brings up the cheating card at least from what I have seen and heard, the person doing the accusing is actually the person cheating and wanting to catch their partner in the act.

Mate, she is 100% cheating on you and doesnt respect you. I think you know that too. Please move on to someone else.
 
studying is up ti you anyway... apprently you didnt need to until now...

are you sure your language is the problem anyway? id nearly bet that its something else, since japanese dating foreigners usually prefer it when their lovers japanese isnt good... also: she knew that from the start anyway, so if it would have been a red flag for her she wouldnt have dated you in the first place...
 
studying is up ti you anyway... apprently you didnt need to until now...

are you sure your language is the problem anyway? id nearly bet that its something else, since japanese dating foreigners usually prefer it when their lovers japanese isnt good... also: she knew that from the start anyway, so if it would have been a red flag for her she wouldnt have dated you in the first place...

In the beginning when you can't communicate well with your exotic lover from a distant land, it lends an air of adventure, mystery and romance to the relationship. But eventually, it just becomes a fucking pain in the ass. Unless of course you are trying to learn English, then it is free English lessons! My guess is that this lady already speaks good enough English and doesnt need or want to learn more. She wants her guy to make an effort to learn Japanese and also to appreciate the effort she is making to speak English with him even though they are in Japan.
 
the air of adventure and mystery is also the reason why couples break up again once they realised that whatever the partner said wasnt really what he said^^
 
i dont even think she or so many women want free english lessons, but still i think a lot dont want their partner to be good at japanese, better, maybe, but thats ist...
well, op will find out...
 
No I have not cheated on her. However this brings up an interesting thing about her, there have been a couple of weekends were she has come down to where I lived and either A) Not inform me that she was in town and drinking with her friends, I had to find out from the plethora of Bartenders I know B) Coming in to town and letting me know, then not texting me until the next day. Despite me texting her through out the night and calling a few times. Reason? She was drunk.

I really do not want to think that she is cheating on me however, usually when someone brings up the cheating card at least from what I have seen and heard, the person doing the accusing is actually the person cheating and wanting to catch their partner in the act.
Thats another reason to give up on her...
 
I have been dating a Japanese girl since Feb and I told her that I would try and learn Japanese. Here is the thing though, I have not really been progressing at the rate that she has with her English abilities and it is showing.

I know that my sorry excuses of work, school, and volunteer work can only go so far however I am very busy and can commit very little time to my studies of the language. I have downloaded Pimsleur and even had a Japanese college class, but from what I have noticed I only learned phrases and a few words. Nothing really to form my own thoughts and what not.

Everything came full circle and a argument ensued over my language abilities and hers. The sad part is that it came after a very lovely night I had spent with her and a even better Sunday morning. Things I thought in my mind were going good. Then the argument. She claimed that I am not taking her seriously and do not like her because of my half ass attempt of trying to learn Japanese. She went on to cite different instances of me not caring for her feelings (I will not go into detail there), but suffice to say I was a little upset with her at this point.
She even went as far to accuse me of cheating.

I simply told her my feelings on the matter and said that I was trying however she seems set in her ways and is thinking about our situation and I guess at least in my mind whether or not she wants to still be in this relationship.

I am a little frustrated about the whole ordeal and I am very close to telling her to find a Japanese boyfriend or a gaijin who speaks the language. I guess I just need some clarity in the matter and advice from people who are not my friends.

If she was in love with you then she would not give two shits if you're japanese language skills arnt progressing. I know this... ive hooked up with a ton of Japanese girls under the false pretense of wanting to learn the language. Once they're into me they just dont care anymore about me learning japanese.

the fact that shes getting on your case means that maybe there's something else bugging her....or she just wants out...not sure. Regardless i dont think she loves you


edit** sorry i didnt wanna sound like a dick. You can do better... time to upgrade my friend ^.^
 
her expectations are ill thought. I've been in the country nearly 10 years and my Japanese is shit poor.
So true. My mother has been living in Canada for 30+ years and her English is horrible. And there's a very good reason for this: she only surrounds herself (friends and workplace) with Japanese speaking people.

At any rate, I think it's absolutely unfair to judge the amount of effort someone giving solely based on results. Some people are quick learners, while some need to try even harder to keep up.

the fact that shes getting on your case means that maybe there's something else bugging her....or she just wants out...not sure.
I was thinking something along that line as well. I can understand how she can be upset about your lack of progress and how she suspects that you're not taking this seriously, but to make it into such a big deal makes me feel there's something more to it.
 
Welp we are done. I tried to talk to her about the situation, however, she was distant and extremely cold and only wanting me to pursue my language studies. I tried seeing how her day was and got nothing back but one or two-word responses and nothing else, with that I had enough and sent her this

"I see where this is going, how you are and where you are currently at right now so let me make it really easy for you. Go and date a Japanese or a Gaijin who speaks Japanese, because obviously you are not interested or care about me other than my language abilities."
 
  • Like
Reactions: Simonka
Welp we are done. I tried to talk to her about the situation, however, she was distant and extremely cold and only wanting me to pursue my language studies. I tried seeing how her day was and got nothing back but one or two-word responses and nothing else, with that I had enough and sent her this

"I see where this is going, how you are and where you are currently at right now so let me make it really easy for you. Go and date a Japanese or a Gaijin who speaks Japanese, because obviously you are not interested or care about me other than my language abilities."
She is probably interested in gaijin and or locals with whom she can speak Japanese. After all, this is Japan. Seems reasonable enough to me. She also might not be able to relate to someone who doesn’t prioritize learning the local language. Why would someone live here if they aren’t interested enough in me and my friends to learn our language? Also understandable. You should go find an English Whore who will speak English with you. She will help you order in restaurants. She will help you read your electric bill and she will explain how to use your new microwave oven. She will keep you comfortably isolated from Japanese language. Be careful though, a lot of these English Whores are flawed individuals. They have psychological or social problems so they escape to English Gaijin land. 20 years will go by before you know it. You might even have kids who speak Japanese with mom and everyone else, and English with dad. Is that what you want? Time to chose a pill, Neo! Japanese language Reality? Or the English in Japan Matrix?
 
She is probably interested in gaijin and or locals with whom she can speak Japanese. After all, this is Japan. Seems reasonable enough to me. She also might not be able to relate to someone who doesn’t prioritize learning the local language. Why would someone live here if they aren’t interested enough in me and my friends to learn our language? Also understandable. You should go find an English Whore who will speak English with you. She will help you order in restaurants. She will help you read your electric bill and she will explain how to use your new microwave oven. She will keep you comfortably isolated from Japanese language. Be careful though, a lot of these English Whores are flawed individuals. They have psychological or social problems so they escape to English Gaijin land. 20 years will go by before you know it. You might even have kids who speak Japanese with mom and everyone else, and English with dad. Is that what you want? Time to chose a pill, Neo! Japanese language Reality? Or the English in Japan Matrix?

I have met her friends and a few members of her family. I was trying to learn the language but in her eyes and yours, it was not good enough. The problem with as you put it an "English Whore" is that they are exactly that. No loyalty and offer nothing in the means of a relationship. They don't want anything else or drive you to want to improve yourself. To them they treat you like any other non-tangible item of their social status; look at me, I'm so fly, I wear Gucci, I went to this banging club, and look at my BF he is soooo dreamy, envy me.

I don't want that, and with her at least she cared about my dreams and what I wanted to do, not to mention our future. Was it upsetting that I was not good enough for her, you bet your ass. This is the second time that I blame myself for not being good enough for someone and this shit hurts, all you can do is learn from it and not make the same mistake twice. What will I take from this experience? Well learning the language the best I can, so that if I do have another chance with a Japanese female I will be able to hold on this time.
 
I have met her friends and a few members of her family. I was trying to learn the language but in her eyes and yours, it was not good enough. The problem with as you put it an "English Whore" is that they are exactly that. No loyalty and offer nothing in the means of a relationship. They don't want anything else or drive you to want to improve yourself. To them they treat you like any other non-tangible item of their social status; look at me, I'm so fly, I wear Gucci, I went to this banging club, and look at my BF he is soooo dreamy, envy me.

I don't want that, and with her at least she cared about my dreams and what I wanted to do, not to mention our future. Was it upsetting that I was not good enough for her, you bet your ass. This is the second time that I blame myself for not being good enough for someone and this shit hurts, all you can do is learn from it and not make the same mistake twice. What will I take from this experience? Well learning the language the best I can, so that if I do have another chance with a Japanese female I will be able to hold on this time.

Dont beat yourself up too much about it. The way you describe the story it seems she was just looking for an excuse to end it anyway. If you were fluent in japanese it would have been something else.. dick too long or too short, snoring at night, your country being too this or not enough that etc
 
Dont beat yourself up too much about it. The way you describe the story it seems she was just looking for an excuse to end it anyway. If you were fluent in japanese it would have been something else.. dick too long or too short, snoring at night, your country being too this or not enough that etc
Agree with this. She was probably going to cause you a lot of heart ache. Coming into town, getting drunk, not telling you. Jeez. Believe me, you don’t need that.
 
Dont beat yourself up too much about it.

I do agree with our Frenchy here. She was wanting to end it and chose an easy excuse. While beating your meat might be fun sometimes now it is the time to use P4P for some stress relief. Rebound fucks are in order.

And then go and learn that bloody language. Buta was harsh there, he is a pig afterall, but he also has a point. Two year old kids speak the language, it cannot be that hard. You just need to prioritise learning first.
 
Dont beat yourself up too much about it. The way you describe the story it seems she was just looking for an excuse to end it anyway. If you were fluent in japanese it would have been something else.. dick too long or too short, snoring at night, your country being too this or not enough that etc

I can and will beat myself up. It is through this body hardening that I can improve myself, the tough truth, the truth that hurts is what I needed so that I can change. It sucks but it is what is needed. I will be alright though.
 
I am a brutal old pig at times. In this case it was probably because I am jealous and was thinking about days gone by. Alas, the Buta's days of banging chicks in Karaoke boxes are done and gone. One thing I remember pretty well though was when, at about the 1.5 year mark, I finally had relationships going with girls that were 100% in Japanese language. What a feeling. When you meet people who don't really care about learning English, and you are speaking and relating in a foreign language, a new world does sort of reveal itself in a Matrix-like way. MorpheaButa wishes this for you.
 
I have been dating a Japanese girl since Feb and I told her that I would try and learn Japanese. Here is the thing though, I have not really been progressing at the rate that she has with her English abilities and it is showing.

I know that my sorry excuses of work, school, and volunteer work can only go so far however I am very busy and can commit very little time to my studies of the language. I have downloaded Pimsleur and even had a Japanese college class, but from what I have noticed I only learned phrases and a few words. Nothing really to form my own thoughts and what not.

Everything came full circle and a argument ensued over my language abilities and hers. The sad part is that it came after a very lovely night I had spent with her and a even better Sunday morning. Things I thought in my mind were going good. Then the argument. She claimed that I am not taking her seriously and do not like her because of my half ass attempt of trying to learn Japanese. She went on to cite different instances of me not caring for her feelings (I will not go into detail there), but suffice to say I was a little upset with her at this point.
She even went as far to accuse me of cheating.

I simply told her my feelings on the matter and said that I was trying however she seems set in her ways and is thinking about our situation and I guess at least in my mind whether or not she wants to still be in this relationship.

I am a little frustrated about the whole ordeal and I am very close to telling her to find a Japanese boyfriend or a gaijin who speaks the language. I guess I just need some clarity in the matter and advice from people who are not my friends.

Sounds like you're just not cheating on her ENOUGH (with Japanese women). If you were, you'd be learning Japanese faster! :ROFLMAO::D
 
Sounds like you're just not cheating on her ENOUGH (with Japanese women). If you were, you'd be learning Japanese faster! :ROFLMAO::D
But you'd be learning Japanese girly language and end up talking like a lolli boy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MikeH
But you'd be learning Japanese girly language and end up talking like a lolli boy.

Like one of my lady friends commented on one of my dear American friends who learned his Japanese from his girlfriend: "He sounds like a barber, or a gay."

Nothing wrong with that of course, not even the barber part. But if you want to sound like a guy better hit the books and then talk to people. A lot.
 
If she was in love with you then she would not give two shits if you're japanese language skills arnt progressing. I know this... ive hooked up with a ton of Japanese girls under the false pretense of wanting to learn the language. Once they're into me they just dont care anymore about me learning japanese.

the fact that shes getting on your case means that maybe there's something else bugging her....or she just wants out...not sure. Regardless i dont think she loves you


edit** sorry i didnt wanna sound like a dick. You can do better... time to upgrade my friend ^.^

There are a few things bugging her, especially in her personal life, she never wanted to open up about them except for one. Anytime she would see me it was like an escape for her.
 
Like one of my lady friends commented on one of my dear American friends who learned his Japanese from his girlfriend: "He sounds like a barber, or a gay."

Nothing wrong with that of course, not even the barber part. But if you want to sound like a guy better hit the books and then talk to people. A lot.

Barbers are notorious players in Japan
 
Like one of my lady friends commented on one of my dear American friends who learned his Japanese from his girlfriend: "He sounds like a barber, or a gay."

Nothing wrong with that of course, not even the barber part. But if you want to sound like a guy better hit the books and then talk to people. A lot.

Uhh... part of my Japanese is surely learned from the women I've met while in Japan. I think possibly, you're talking about an immature group of people here.
People note the accent in my Japanese as well as the choice of words, but it's not treated as a big deal.. I'm not a native and they expect it to be a bit odd anyway. What you just stated, really sounds like someone who's not quite grown up yet.
 
Uhh... part of my Japanese is surely learned from the women I've met while in Japan. I think possibly, you're talking about an immature group of people here.
People note the accent in my Japanese as well as the choice of words, but it's not treated as a big deal.. I'm not a native and they expect it to be a bit odd anyway. What you just stated, really sounds like someone who's not quite grown up yet.

I also learned most of my Japanese from girls but had to consciously work to un-feminize it, like removing の from lots of things, changing tonality, etc