Embarrassing/Funny moments before, during or after sex.

Karaoke Duke

Karaoke Duke

Karaoke_duke
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This happened last week with my first IND I went to her hotel in Higashi-Shinjuku(my first time around that area). So we were exchanging messages when I was on my way there. When I reach there I said “I’m here” she replied “send pictures” so I did. Then she text me I’m in room 403. So I went in and went upstairs thru the elevator finally outside room 403. I didn’t knock so I text her I’m outside. And there I waited for 10mins staring at my phone then door then phone then hall way. But no sign of her. So after 10 mins a text her again “I’m outside room 403” she replied “send pictures” on my mind i was thinking she’s messing with me but I still took another photo. And that’s when I realize that I was at the wrong hotel. There are 2 APA hotel there that’s so close to each other that in the google map you won’t notice unless you zoomed it like micro zoom. They’re like 20steps apart I didnt know that apa is like a conbini now.
 
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Too many to tell... but probably this one gets the medal (a bit gross , you’re warned)

So it was about 7 or 8 years ago and I was seeing an escort on the side, actually she had stopped working for her agency and kept only a few clients. Those were the glorious days when I was just happy to bang once every two weeks or so , just with that lady, 20k per meet... no sugaring back then, no long-distance girlfriend, no happening bars, still a family man ... simple life :rolleyes:

I loved how she fingered me while giving a great BJ. She used a condom on her finger but once it stayed inside (the condom I mean, not the finger) , and we didn’t pay attention, and started to nap.
After one hour I woke up and felt something strange on my ass. Like a small cushion...

Yep. I had apparently a lot of gas in my system and it got out during the sleep, inflating the condom which had become like a balloon still stuck on my asshole.

I laughed like an idiot, thank God she was still sleeping. I took the comdom out and never told her the story, too ashamed.
 
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Frenchy said:
Too many to tell... but probably this one gets the medal (a bit gross , you’re warned)

So it was about 7 or 8 years ago and I was seeing an escort on the side, actually she had stopped working for her agency and kept only a few clients. Those were the glorious days when I was just happy to bang once every two weeks or so , just with that lady, 20k per meet... no sugaring back then, no long-distance girlfriend, no happening bars.. simple life :rolleyes:

I loved how she fingered me while giving a great BJ. She used a condom on her finger but once it stayed inside (the condom I mean, not the finger) , and we didn’t pay attention, and started to nap.
After one hour I woke up and felt something strange on my ass. Like a small cushion...

Yep. I had apparently a lot of gas in my system and it got out during the sleep, inflating the condom which had become like a balloon still stuck on my asshole.

I laughed like an idiot, thank God she was still sleeping. I took the comdom out and never told her the story, too ashamed.
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Hahaha this is gold.
 
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Frenchy said:
I had apparently a lot of gas in my system and it got out during the sleep, inflating the condom which had become like a balloon still stuck on my asshole.
Click to expand...
Omg, this might be the funniest thing I’ve read on here yet. Haha
 
Frenchy said:
Too many to tell... but probably this one gets the medal (a bit gross , you’re warned)

So it was about 7 or 8 years ago and I was seeing an escort on the side, actually she had stopped working for her agency and kept only a few clients. Those were the glorious days when I was just happy to bang once every two weeks or so , just with that lady, 20k per meet... no sugaring back then, no long-distance girlfriend, no happening bars, still a family man ... simple life :rolleyes:

I loved how she fingered me while giving a great BJ. She used a condom on her finger but once it stayed inside (the condom I mean, not the finger) , and we didn’t pay attention, and started to nap.
After one hour I woke up and felt something strange on my ass. Like a small cushion...

Yep. I had apparently a lot of gas in my system and it got out during the sleep, inflating the condom which had become like a balloon still stuck on my asshole.

I laughed like an idiot, thank God she was still sleeping. I took the comdom out and never told her the story, too ashamed.
Click to expand...
You should have ignited it to enjoy a mini hanabi:dead:
 
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Once I was staying over at my GF's (at the time) place when she still lived with her parents. We decided to risk a middle of the night quickie, which turned into a pretty hardcore fuck.

So she had one of those flimsy wooden IKEA beds and right when I was busting a nut mid thrust the screws that hold up the mattress slats broke free and we went crashing down through the bed frame onto the floor.
 
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Lukes said:
Once I was staying over at my GF's (at the time) place when she still lived with her parents. We decided to risk a middle of the night quickie, which turned into a pretty hardcore fuck.

So she had one of those flimsy wooden IKEA beds and right when I was busting a nut mid thrust the screws that hold up the mattress slats broke free and we went crashing down through the bed frame onto the floor.
Click to expand...

Ah ah, did the parents wake up?
 
Frenchy said:
Ah ah, did the parents wake up?
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You know what, I'm not sure. My guess is they probably did considering the racket it caused. They're Japanese though so maybe they just pretended not to notice. If they were typical American parents you better believe I'd be dead right now.

I felt rather awkward at breakfast the next morning but no one said anything. Oh, I forgot to mention that I married her some years later. No one ever mentioned it so I'm hoping that (and a handful of other lesser incidents) will be excused.

I am however happy to report that we have since ensured to purchase sturdier beds.
 
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Lukes said:
You know what, I'm not sure. My guess is they probably did considering the racket it caused. They're Japanese though so maybe they just pretended not to notice. If they were typical American parents you better believe I'd be dead right now.

I felt rather awkward at breakfast the next morning but no one said anything. Oh, I forgot to mention that I married her some years later. No one ever mentioned it so I'm hoping that (and a handful of other lesser incidents) will be excused.

I am however happy to report that we have since ensured to purchase sturdier beds.
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Yes. IKEA is not your friend.
Also their maze-like shops without windows and just one exit must have been invented by a psychopath
 
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Frenchy said:
Yes. IKEA is not your friend.
Also their maze-like shops without windows and just one exit must have been invented by a psychopath
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Yep, definitely psychopaths. I bet they derive actual enjoyment from forcing people to assemble their own furniture with nothing but an instruction manual with no words in it and a small L-shaped piece of metal.
 
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Lukes said:
Yep, definitely psychopaths. I bet they derive actual enjoyment from forcing people to assemble their own furniture with nothing but an instruction manual with no words in it and a small L-shaped piece of metal.
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Some people have bucket lists of things they want to do and places they want to go before they die. I have a list of things that I have done and never want to do again before I die. Going to Ikea is one of the things I aspire to never do again. All furniture should be bought from this dude.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7FkqjV8SU5I8FCHXQSQe9Q
 
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As far as FUNNY ones, one time when I was in university, I struck up a conversation with the cute girl working the neighbourhood grocery store cash register... conversation led to coffee... coffee led to wine... wine led to her coming back to my place....

Where I discovered that she was exceptionally vocal.

Got complaints from the roommates.

Got complaints from the downstairs neighbours (up/down duplex)

Got complaints from the people living on either side of the house.

Every seen Porky's? I basically picked up Lassie.

 
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Sudsy said:
Where I discovered that she was exceptionally vocal.
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Two words for you: love hotel.

But the first and only thing that comes to my mind when someone says Lassie:

Lassie.jpg
 
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I have experienced one the funniest moments very recently. Still not sure about the fluid mechanics behind this occurrence, but I managed to squirt on my face while in missionary. (I think the squirt bounced from his pelvis?) My client was quick to notice me fluttering in pleasure and confusion, and he placed a pillow on my tummy to stop me from further drenching in my own juices.

Well, uh.. you know that myth about anti aging creams so I didn’t mind.
 
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Simonka said:
I have experienced one the funniest moments very recently. Still not sure about the fluid mechanics behind this occurrence, but I managed to squirt on my face while in missionary. (I think the squirt bounced from his pelvis?) My client was quick to notice me fluttering in pleasure and confusion, and he placed a pillow on my tummy to stop me from further drenching in my own juices.

Well, uh.. you know that myth about anti aging creams so I didn’t mind.
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*heavy breathing* That’s quite simulating to imagine
 
Frenchy said:
Too many to tell... but probably this one gets the medal (a bit gross , you’re warned)

So it was about 7 or 8 years ago and I was seeing an escort on the side, actually she had stopped working for her agency and kept only a few clients. Those were the glorious days when I was just happy to bang once every two weeks or so , just with that lady, 20k per meet... no sugaring back then, no long-distance girlfriend, no happening bars, still a family man ... simple life :rolleyes:

I loved how she fingered me while giving a great BJ. She used a condom on her finger but once it stayed inside (the condom I mean, not the finger) , and we didn’t pay attention, and started to nap.
After one hour I woke up and felt something strange on my ass. Like a small cushion...

Yep. I had apparently a lot of gas in my system and it got out during the sleep, inflating the condom which had become like a balloon still stuck on my asshole.

I laughed like an idiot, thank God she was still sleeping. I took the comdom out and never told her the story, too ashamed.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of a joke.. ..What do Tupperware and whales have in common?

They both like a tighytight Seal. .. :D
 
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Nothing as funny as @Frenchy .... But a friend of mine told me her dude blasted on her face ..And some landed on her nostrils , when she breathed out. ..Bubbles ... Hince the new nickname :D

Another friend said he was banging his Japanese girl and the cat was on the bed. .Kept meowing at him . He knew he couldn't knock the cat off the bed , cuz would make the girl angry . . So he "spider webbed " the cat (his words ) when he blew his load.. .Cat jumped off the bed and proceeded to lick it's paw for clean up on its face :eek:
 
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