Ending The Relationship.

[MossBoss]

What happens when a relationship is nearing the end? The SB might need the cash but the SD wants to try a different avenue. It must be a difficult situation.

How do these kind of relationship end?

 

[vondoom]

as any other? you break up and go separate ways (or just send her a link to the song, she might understand it＾＾)...
should even be easier, when there are no feelings involved... break ups happen all the time...
if its about the cash for her, then maybe find a job for a change? or probably takes her two weeks to find the next sugar daddy...
usually both probably notice when its about to end anyway...

 

[Wwanderer]

as any other?

That pretty well sums up my sugar bowl experiences with the ending of arrangements. They seem to draw to a close in a variety of ways, but none of them would be unusual in a conventional dating context in my experience. I have never had an SB end an arrangement with me because she decided the financial support was too small (or if any did, they didn't give me that reason). I have had quite a few possible sugar arrangements declined at the start because the SB wanted a higher level of support than I could offer though.

-Ww

 

[Kegger]

I actually talked about this with SB.
We decided when the time came, I'd give her a certain gift.
If she wanted to end it she came up with her own gift, but it wasn't very nice.

 

[namae]

I actually talked about this with SB.
We decided when the time came, I'd give her a certain gift.
If she wanted to end it she came up with her own gift, but it wasn't very nice.

Excuse my curiosity, but...

Gift..... as in a cash redundancy payment? or a box of chocolates?

Was the termination issue discussed in the first meeting? was it raised by you or the SB?

(..or was all this discussed casually over Line or breakfast one day?)


I guess if the SB gets too legalistic in the first meeting - termination notice, notice period, termination payment - swipe left

 

[Wwanderer]

I guess if the SB gets too legalistic in the first meeting - termination notice, notice period, termination payment - swipe left

Yes indeed, anything that suggests a relatively commercial/transactional attitude toward the arrangement is often a bad sign (although that can depend on what sort of arrangement the SD wants...could be a good fit for some).

However, that is not always the case. It may reflect that she has had some previous bad experience with an SD cheating or scamming her and is trying to avoid it happening again. For example, I once met a potential SB (did not end up in an arrangement with her) who told me a story along these lines (not all details are sharp in my mind): She had accepted an exlusive sugar arrangement with some SD (in NYC) for a monthly allowance at the low end of what she considered adequate. All went as agreed for some period of time, maybe it was like 6 months, but then he informed her that he wasn''t going to be able to provide her allowance for the next several months (let's say four), but to make up for the inconvenience and thank her for patience, he promised to give her the "back pay" he owed her plus an extra month's allowance at the end of the year when he got his annual bonus AND to increase her monthly allowance by some significcant amount going forward from that point. She said that he seemed very sincere and honest and apologetic about the situation. So she continued to see him and do her best to make him happy without the allowance. However, a month or so before the end of the year, he accused her (falsely she said) of "cheating" on him and seeing other men/SDs. On this excuse, he ended their arrangement and never gave her anything further. She believed that this was his plan all along, and I don't find that too hard to believe. I know of private web sites where SDs exchange ideas and tips on how to cheat SBs.

-Ww

 

[User#8628]

as any other? you break up and go separate ways (or just send her a link to the song, she might understand it＾＾)...
should even be easier, when there are no feelings involved... break ups happen all the time...
if its about the cash for her, then maybe find a job for a change? or probably takes her two weeks to find the next sugar daddy...
usually both probably notice when its about to end anyway...

Because you were so fast finding a new job, right?

And it's not like there are no feelings involved at all.


My biggest SD ended it the Japanese way by cutting contact, but he had given me a monthly allowance in advance (and i didn't have to spend any time with him). I kinda felt it comming (you learn to read people here in Japan) so i took my preparations as well.

 

[vondoom]

people reading is a skill that everybody should have, no matter where they are... what makes japan different?
in my second relationship, we knew it for about half a year that the end is coming, we just didnt want to admit it, or maybe we were hoping for things to get better...
but i guess that in any kind of relationship that goes beneath the surface, you notice, so shell realise is sooner or later...

well, as a young girl i would have a few opportunities that i dont have...
im always willing to see a different perspective, but i met two many young women here (usually "students", or wh), who clearly lived on other peoples expenses (from allowances to getting a flat) and by no means ever thought about working as long as they got money by being treated... not saying that all sugar babes are like that, but lets say i wouldnt rule that out... its their way of getting money in the end and probably somehow better than serving tea at the office, not to mention you can live the high life more or less (or pretend to do so)...
to each their own, but it is strange to me when people get money that way and then complain, when the situation changes... are there sugar daddy contracts?

the original post stated that money is (or might be a problem) and nothing else... sure there are people who develop feelings, but is it still sugar dating, then?
with feelings it is obviously more difficult...

 

[User#8628]

people reading is a skill that everybody should have, no matter where they are... what makes japan different?

Japanese don't speak their mind as much as the people where i'm from.

"Yes" often means "no" here.

 

[vondoom]

depends on where you stand, i dont really think that way...
but understood!
thank you for the answer!

 

[Wwanderer]

Fwiiw, I agree with @User#8628 that there are (almost) always significant feelings of some sort (not ordinary romantic love in most cases) involved in any major sugar arrangement. By "major" I mean one in which the couple sees each other more than a very few times and over more than a short period of time. It is rarely a purely impersonal transaction. In fact imo, that can be thought of as a part of the definition of sugar dating; if/when it is just an impersonal commercial arrangement, it isn't sugar.

-Ww

 

[Ches]

In situations like that, I believe the best way is to just say it. Nothing beats honesty, after all, you guys had mutual benefits. Don't fret coz it's over, be happy coz it happened.

Japanese way, ghosting, in my opinion is not a very good move. It will make the girl ask sooo many questions in her head.

 

[Kegger]

Was the termination issue discussed in the first meeting? was it raised by you or the SB?

(..or was all this discussed casually over Line or breakfast one day?)

Actually we were joking around.
And she said that if we're going to end it then she wants a such and such.
It then became a standing joke.

Now before I see her she jokes "are you bringing the such and such" to which I reply "wait and see"

I jest one day she said" if I get the such and such, then you're getting a used male contraceptive device"

And I just stuck.

 

[impish]

Japanese don't speak their mind as much as the people where i'm from.

"Yes" often means "no" here.

And very much vice versa...