Feeling discouraged to continue searching for someone

[da2369]

Almost since I first entered the country, I've been trying to meet people. Not just for sex or anything, but to genuinely meet the locals and learn more about the area. Obviously this led to eventually looking for relationships and sex, and so I joined apps like Tinder and Bumble, you know, the normie stuff as I used them back in the states with even less results. I've at least met people on there, but have gotten no where close to meeting partners.

I got further down the rabbit hole and joined websites like nan-net and SA (the reason why I'm posting on this board rather than the general one). Neither of these have given me positive results. It did make me curious of sugar mamas, as I'd say I'm young enough to be a SB and I'd rather try it out before I become a full on oji-san. The hunt for those have been extremely discouraging as I've pretty much hit rock bottom trying to DM people on Twitter of all places. To top it all off, the amount of scams I've come across have made me cynical of any kind of service provided through the web.

Is there really any chance of finding genuine people to form actual connections with? Whether that be for actual relationships or sexual services? Am I really doomed to just having Tobita as my only local option (review coming soon once it finally gets approved) or having to travel all the way to Tokyo just bang and go home?

Am I just being impatient or looking in the wrong areas?

 

[AB808]

Don't be discouraged. Japan is an unusual place and the people have a very different mindset from Westerners, especially Mericanos. Very courteous people, but not so easy to open up to others. They really take their time. Kinda like the opposite of the American way, now a days. LOL.

SImilar to Europe in a way, try finding friends in things you like to do - hobbies and sports. Meetup.com and Internations.org are great venues. Yes, can find sex there too.

Ask yourself specifically, what type of folks would you like to encounter? What's your profile and why should they be interested in you?

 

[requiemmorrow]

Almost since I first entered the country, I've been trying to meet people. Not just for sex or anything, but to genuinely meet the locals and learn more about the area. Obviously this led to eventually looking for relationships and sex, and so I joined apps like Tinder and Bumble, you know, the normie stuff as I used them back in the states with even less results. I've at least met people on there, but have gotten no where close to meeting partners.

I got further down the rabbit hole and joined websites like nan-net and SA (the reason why I'm posting on this board rather than the general one). Neither of these have given me positive results. It did make me curious of sugar mamas, as I'd say I'm young enough to be a SB and I'd rather try it out before I become a full on oji-san. The hunt for those have been extremely discouraging as I've pretty much hit rock bottom trying to DM people on Twitter of all places. To top it all off, the amount of scams I've come across have made me cynical of any kind of service provided through the web.

Is there really any chance of finding genuine people to form actual connections with? Whether that be for actual relationships or sexual services? Am I really doomed to just having Tobita as my only local option (review coming soon once it finally gets approved) or having to travel all the way to Tokyo just bang and go home?

Am I just being impatient or looking in the wrong areas?

How long have you been here?
Also, your post just seems a little confused; do you want someone to be with or are just looking to fuck random people at an acceptable cost?

You’ve got this dude. If an ugly fuck like me can score a cutie in the Tokyo art museum, I am absolutely sure you can find someone special.

More than anything though, be happy with who you are as whole right her right now rather than bringing in others to fill in the blanks. And more importantly, make sure to regularly blow your load in Tobita until a brighter horizon appears, and improve your Japanese for more opportunities as well.

 

[da2369]

Don't be discouraged. Japan is an unusual place and the people have a very different mindset from Westerners, especially Mericanos. Very courteous people, but not so easy to open up to others. They really take their time. Kinda like the opposite of the American way, now a days. LOL.

SImilar to Europe in a way, try finding friends in things you like to do - hobbies and sports. Meetup.com and Internations.org are great venues. Yes, can find sex there too.

Ask yourself specifically, what type of folks would you like to encounter? What's your profile and why should they be interested in you?

Thanks man for the encouragement and advice!

I should definitely get back into hobbies. Work had killed me over the last year, but ironically here in Japan, my working hours are a lot better. Also thanks for the sites! I never heard of internations, but I'll try it out

I'll think more and figure out what I want rather than just shooting darts in the air. It's pretty difficult to do so with everything being so new and different, but I definitely want to find my niche

 

[da2369]

How long have you been here?

Not very long, a little bit more than a month. I've definitely been impatient thinking about that

Also, your post just seems a little confused; do you want someone to be with or are just looking to fuck random people at an acceptable cost?

It's less confusion and more just that I've been down for anything. If someone wants to bang, bang I shall. If someone wants a relationship, then I'm cool with that too. If some older lady wants a boy toy, then I'll bark

You've got this dude. If an ugly fuck like me can score a cutie in the Tokyo art museum, I am absolutely sure you can find someone special.

I applaud you at that. I've been apparently looking in the wrong places. I should go check out art museums But yeah, I should definitely go out and put myself out there. I've been thinking about going to a club one weekend just to try it out. It's not really my social scene, but I should at least see what it's like

More than anything though, be happy with who you are as whole right her right now rather than bringing in others to fill in the blanks. And more importantly, make sure to regularly blow your load in Tobita until a brighter horizon appears, and improve your Japanese for more opportunities as well.

Thanks man! Really great advice. I gotta keep that in mind. I'll definitely be practicing my Japanese with the Tobita girls every couple weeks until that brighter horizon appears!

 

[Frenchy]

Honestly even speaking Japanese and after living decades here I can’t say I have any real Japanese friend. Colleagues, acquaintances yes … but not the kind of friend you’d call just to have a beer and a laugh. Or when you’re in trouble. Yes they are usually shy and cold at the beginning and Im not very extrovert either. But to be honest I just find most of them… boring. Not same sense of humor, not same way of thinking, not same interests , etc . Even the Japanese ladies, past any initial physical attraction. And they probably find me boring too by the way. Or maybe I’m lazy and just didn’t try hard enough to adjust. All my pals are foreign and if I sound racist or overly generalizing writing this then so be it.

Anyway, good luck, good advices were already given, try a martial art club or wine club or whatever you are interested in , try meet-up or similar , try to meet ladies outside of Tobita too … also try to meet Japanese people who lived abroad

 

[TAG Manager]

Honestly even speaking Japanese and after living decades here I can’t say I have any real Japanese friend. Colleagues, acquaintances yes … but not the kind of friend you’d call just to have a beer and a laugh. Or when you’re in trouble.

Yes. Very accurate. This has been my experience as well. I have a large enough network with colleagues which includes mostly Japanese, but none of them are actual friends. After 20'ish years, I have one maybe two Japanese friends that I could actually count on if I really needed something. And even that is only because we share one deep interest in a hobby together.

 

[MikeH]

It's difficult to make friends when you are an adult. Not only in Japan but everywhere. Of course it doesn't help if your ability to speak the local language is not perfect.

The last place your situation is similar to everyone around you is high school or maybe university. When you enter the workforce you got everything from 20's to half dead so there is less things to bond with and even less time to do it.

Or so I heard, as everyone and @just4fun knows I have no friends. Then again it's enough to have girlfriends.

 

[zerosupblues]

You need to have the patience of a fisherman. Keep going out there regardless if you catch anything, but also assess how you might do things differently.

shit man you’re still in the honeymoon phase, just wait until you’re in the alcoholic jaded cynic going to newhalf agencies just to feel anything. Lol

 

[Frenchy]

alcoholic jaded cynic going to newhalf agencies just to feel anything

Hey @Sudsy deserves more respect than that!

 

[da2369]

It's difficult to make friends when you are an adult. Not only in Japan but everywhere. Of course it doesn't help if your ability to speak the local language is not perfect.

The last place your situation is similar to everyone around you is high school or maybe university. When you enter the workforce you got everything from 20's to half dead so there is less things to bond with and even less time to do it.

Or so I heard, as everyone and @just4fun knows I have no friends. Then again it's enough to have girlfriends.

Very true. Most of the friend I have, they intiated with me. It's pretty difficult for me to start the conversation, but I've been trying to get better at that. Trying to find hobbies I like that require me to be social and outgoing is gonna be difficult, as I'm much more of an indoor person, but I'll figure something out

 

[da2369]

going to newhalf agencies just to feel anything. Lol

You know, if they're hot, why not! 😆

 

[MikeH]

You need to have the patience of a fisherman.

They actually don't need patience as normally they just like fishing.

Those who don't like it usually are much happier if they stop trying and buy their fish from the market.

 

[EnglishVisitor]

Really interesting comments above, I’ve been in sugardaddy.jp for a while and really found it hard to click with anyone - sounds like I need to move to SA or just change my personality (and looks)

 

[TAG Manager]

Really interesting comments above, I’ve been in sugardaddy.jp for a while and really found it hard to click with anyone - sounds like I need to move to SA or just change my personality (and looks)

sugardaddy.jp is just systematic in the "Japanese" way of things. I'd stick with SA if you can't mesh in with that crowd.

 

[da2369]

Really interesting comments above, I’ve been in sugardaddy.jp for a while and really found it hard to click with anyone - sounds like I need to move to SA or just change my personality (and looks)

I'd stick with SA if I was in that kind of financial position. As a teacher right now, SD isn't really in my cards, and I've checked out the ママ活 side of the site, and it's pretty barren. And it's all scams on Twitter if you try looking

 

[yeti]

forget tinder and go to the Hub by yourself, start approaching people
BEST OF LUCK

 

[shadowboxer]

Always look on the bright side of life:

 

[da2369]

forget tinder and go to the Hub by yourself, start approaching people
BEST OF LUCK

Is the Hub active in Kyoto?
I've heard it's pretty rough in the Tokyo areas. I'd imagine it would be even worse outside of there

 

[yeti]

Is the Hub active in Kyoto?
I've heard it's pretty rough in the Tokyo areas. I'd imagine it would be even worse outside of there

it doesn't have to be the hub, any intel friendly bar conducive to conversation and consumption of affordable libations will suffice

 

[da2369]

it doesn't have to be the hub, any intel friendly bar conducive to conversation and consumption of affordable libations will suffice

Very verbose, but thanks for the suggestion. I'm not much of a drinker, so I rarely go to bars unless I'm with friends (those friends would not be interested in me trying to pick up girls)

Maybe that'll change once I go to a club for the first time. Hoping I can do so this weekend if my other thread's plan falls through

 

[yeti]

Very verbose, but thanks for the suggestion. I'm not much of a drinker, so I rarely go to bars unless I'm with friends (those friends would not be interested in me trying to pick up girls)

Maybe that'll change once I go to a club for the first time. Hoping I can do so this weekend if my other thread's plan falls through

no club, its dark, noisy and difficult to hold a conversation in.... on top of that, too many distractions and your competition is Overly saturated.
you don't have to drink to enjoy a bar.

• Stuntman Mike : You know, a bar offers all kind of things other than alcohol.
  Pam : Hmm. Really? Like what?
  Stuntman Mike : Women, nacho grande platters, the fellowships of fascinating individuals like Warren here. Alcohol is just a lubricant for all the individual encounters that a bar offers.

 

[Mr Osaka]

Have you tried taking off your horn 😈 and put on your halo😇 and join one of those Japanese Christian churches. Usually a lot of single ladies in there and they are friendlier to foreigners. It takes time though, so you can practice your moves in Tobita until you get the girl you like on bed 😁

 

[da2369]

Have you tried taking off your horn 😈 and put on your halo😇 and join one of those Japanese Christian churches. Usually a lot of single ladies in there and they are friendlier to foreigners. It takes time though, so you can practice your moves in Tobita until you get the girl you like on bed 😁

I'm a person of many vices and areligious. I'm not sure if a Japanese Christian lady would want to deal with me, nor do I think I could handle someone who is devoutly practicing. Unless she's one of those who's trying to rebel

 

[requiemmorrow]

Have you tried taking off your horn 😈 and put on your halo😇 and join one of those Japanese Christian churches. Usually a lot of single ladies in there and they are friendlier to foreigners. It takes time though, so you can practice your moves in Tobita until you get the girl you like on bed 😁

Probably not a good idea.

Japanese Christians are viewed as “weird” in a country and culture where monotheism is seen as weird.

Perhaps you might entice a lady or two to bed, but think of this as more of an occult than the giant organized religion you see in the West—folks from the church will likely be stalking you, calling you, and making you commit far more resources than you’d want to just to score some pussy.