Financial domination

[vargas]

Apparently there exists something called “financial domination” where one party gives the other partial or total control of their finances, often in exchange for very little. Doesn’t that basically just sound like a bad marriage though? Is findom really a thing or just the wishful thinking of thirdrate sugar babes? There’s a Wikipedia article but I find it a little hard to swallow.

 

[TAG Manager]

It's real. I know know that much about it personally, but I've seen ads for it through BDSM type of websites. It's also a tag on SeekingArrangement.com for those sort of arrangements.

Essentially, you're giving over control of your finances or giving up a significant portion of income and letting someone else do whatever they'd like with it, up to and including control over the dominated person's life.

Personally, no thanks! I'll pass.

 

[Frenchy]

It's real. I know know that much about it personally, but I've seen ads for it through BDSM type of websites. It's also a tag on SeekingArrangement.com for those sort of arrangements.

Essentially, you're giving over control of your finances or giving up a significant portion of income and letting someone else do whatever they'd like with it, up to and including control over the dominated person's life.

Personally, no thanks! I'll pass.

That sounds a bit like a typical japanese marriage arrangement , where the wife manages the family finances and just gives pocket money to her husband for his meals

 

[vargas]

My knowledge of D/s only goes as far as enjoying tying a girl up from time to time, but don’t even hardcore dominatrix give their subs some form of sexual release at the end of a session? I don’t see that aspect in financial domination. Although a fun derivative could be giving a girl a pile of money and saying here, go for it, but once the money is gone I’m going to do whatever the hell I feel that money was worth. Though in my case that’d be some straight medieval shit

 

[Ken1988]

It reminds me Tanizaki's "Naomi".

 

[TAG Manager]

I follow a very successful findom provider & mentor on Twitter who recently got interviewed by Rolling Stone.

Here’s the link to the article:
http://www.rollingstone.com/culture...ng-financial-domination-to-the-masses-w492959

She said that there are more women willing to be financial dominatrixes than men who are interested in being “cash slaves”.. so it seems like a highly competitive sexwork category.

But is it really sex work? That’s the part that isn’t so clear in some of the cases.

Cash Slaves though... I’m my own cash slave, lol!

 

[BB0523]

Yes, it's a real thing and loads of women on Seeking Arrangement are Seeking FinDom... I keep getting invitations to it even when I have on profile - NO FINDOM... LOL What ever floats your boat... I'm not here to judge, but to me it's pure lunacy... Even if flush with millions I still don't understand the appeal (from the guys perspective) I get why women want into this... PayPig is a perfect name IMO... I read a similar article where a lady was denied using PayPal as form of payment because she was an escort, so she ultimately ended up accepting bitcoin and becoming a FinDom.

 

[Frenchy]

My knowledge of D/s only goes as far as enjoying tying a girl up from time to time, but don’t even hardcore dominatrix give their subs some form of sexual release at the end of a session? I don’t see that aspect in financial domination. Although a fun derivative could be giving a girl a pile of money and saying here, go for it, but once the money is gone I’m going to do whatever the hell I feel that money was worth. Though in my case that’d be some straight medieval shit

I like that idea

 

[MikeH]

My knowledge of D/s only goes as far as enjoying tying a girl up from time to time, but don’t even hardcore dominatrix give their subs some form of sexual release at the end of a session?

If it's hardcore then no, there will be no sexual release. So no happy ending.

 

[Frenchy]

If it's hardcore then no, there will be no sexual release. So no happy ending.

So its like social time , nothing special then

 

[MikeH]

So its like social time , nothing special then

I'd think it's worse, like the ruined orgasm thing. It looks like fun until it is not anymore.

 

[Frenchy]

I'd think it's worse, like the ruined orgasm thing. It looks like fun until it is not anymore.

Hmmmm i think my next experience in frustration will be to book a financial dominatrix , for social time, who actually does give sexual release but just to the guy seating at next table, something like that.

 

[MikeH]

Hmmmm i think my next experience in frustration will be to book a financial dominatrix , for social time, who actually does give sexual release but just to the guy seating at next table, something like that.

Just make sure to tell me where do you guys meet up and I'll sure to be reserving the next seat. Would give you even more frustration knowing I get everything you pay for.

 

[vargas]

Yes, it's a real thing and loads of women on Seeking Arrangement are Seeking FinDom... I keep getting invitations to it even when I have on profile - NO FINDOM... LOL

Well sure, I’m seeking beautiful models to throw themselves at me, and I’d be totally down for them paying me for the pleasure of my company to boot. However that’s pretty far on the aspirational side

 

[vargas]

Hmmmm i think my next experience in frustration will be to book a financial dominatrix , for social time, who actually does give sexual release but just to the guy seating at next table, something like that.

Financial cucking! I think you’ve just invented a new kink, please go collect the appropriate award at the counter

 

[vargas]

If it's hardcore then no, there will be no sexual release. So no happy ending.

Good lord, I cannot conceive of paying for someone to pretend to be stronger than me, much less leave me with a major case of blue balls. If I ever ended up bound and dominated the only person getting money would be my lawyer trying to get me off on a charge of attempted murder

 

[MikeH]

If I ever ended up bound and dominated the only person getting money would be my lawyer trying to get me off

Well, that is a fetish that sounds very expensive!

 

[psd]

Whatever findom is, it isn't BDSM. Most vanilla people won't understand, but BDSM is caring for the other person and providing for their needs. Like what is portrayed in 50 Shades, it's not BDSM, it's abuse.

 

[jhingy567]

How I picture (kinky?) findom:
Dominatrix walks a man around an upscale shopping mall under collar and leash...
When she sees something that tickles her fancy (Oooh - LV handbag, jimmychoo shoes,Tiffany diamond etc etc), he will be tied up to the railing outside while she comes in and marvels at the goods.

All he can do is watch through shop window as she hands over his credit card to the clerk.

The man is finally untied, then dragged in (by the leash) to sign for the purchase.

Of course, he will then carry all the shopping bags without complaining and follow her lead out the store - like the obedient doggy he is.

 

[psd]

BDSM is as an overlapping abbrevation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM). Findom is about dominance and submission, so I feel like it belongs in BDSM.

You can't understand a compound term by looking up the words in a dictionary. BDSM was a term created to label a lifestyle(s).

Without consent, bondage is a crime. Without consent, Dominance is just being an asshole. Without authority discipline is abuse. Without consent, sadism is a serious pathology and masochism is a disorder.

The key is informed consent and everything in that article is about deceiving and manipulating men, "men sending me money for no apparent reason and nothing in return but my disdain". There is almost no discussion of the clients, ie the subs not her finDom students, it's all about her and her business. Contrast that with most other positive stories on sex workers who gush about their clients and the service they provide.

From the little I know about you'd probably make a good (non-lifestyle) Dom but I don't think you'd learn anything good from that lady.

I hope this doesn't sound too strident as it's kind of an important issue to me

 

[warubuta]

I used to have this girlfriend years ago who would sometimes steal money from me. She lived in another city and would come to visit for a few days every few months. She was a grad student and had very little money to spend. She would take money that I would leave lying around the apartment and spend it on clothes or makeup. After she went home, all of the small bills and change would have been completely scoured from the place. I thought it was kind of funny, and truth be told she did use some of it to fund her transportation to and from her city. Anyway, one time when we were a little drunk, I told her that I knew what she was up to, I jokingly said that I was going to have to punish her for stealing from me. Long story short this was the beginning of a regular sequence of events where she got to take all of the money lying around but also got a pretty good spanking every time she came to visit. She would cry and repent and scream and beg. The whole nine yards. Eventually she would end up bent over my knee. But then after we would always have a great fuck. I wasn't really into the sadism or domination aspect, but boy did the guilt, punishment, catharsis cycle get her engine going. Her dad was a Christian minister and her older brother was a cop. I figured that this had something to do with her need to feel guilty, be dominated and to be punished. Who knows. I eventually got bored of it.

 

[User#6517]

You can't understand a compound term by looking up the words in a dictionary. BDSM was a term created to label a lifestyle(s).

Without consent, bondage is a crime. Without consent, Dominance is just being an asshole. Without authority discipline is abuse. Without consent, sadism is a serious pathology and masochism is a disorder.

The key is informed consent and everything in that article is about deceiving and manipulating men, "men sending me money for no apparent reason and nothing in return but my disdain". There is almost no discussion of the clients, ie the subs not her finDom students, it's all about her and her business. Contrast that with most other positive stories on sex workers who gush about their clients and the service they provide.

From the little I know about you'd probably make a good (non-lifestyle) Dom but I don't think you'd learn anything good from that lady.

I hope this doesn't sound too strident as it's kind of an important issue to me

I guess the article wasn’t a very good example of findom, but I do hope that it has not caused you to judge a whole community of both findom providers and clients due to a single person’s take on it. Every findom provider has their own created persona and different methods of rewarding clients.

I’m not a findom expert, but I do have friends involved in findom and follow a lot of findom providers on Twitter. From what I gather, it’s an interesting, uncommon fetish that asks for consent from both parties. The clients willingly give them tributes and gifts. I’ve never seen or heard of a findom provider forcing a man to give them money or do something that he doesn’t want to do.

The reason why we [Redacted/Removed] talk about our clients that way and not findom providers is because most findom providers are supposed to be a whole lot more aggressive and colder than us. It’s part of their persona.

I can’t do findom because I’m very pro-sub.. but I do support the findom community. I don’t know why some men get turned on by the idea of handing money over to women, but I believe all of us have something weird or unusual that we like. I’ve seen people on TAG talk about golden showers, ball-busting, and using Japanese toilets for self-pleasure.. so nothing surprises me anymore.

 

[jiraiyajiraiya]

Did you just explain my past marriage?

 

[TAG Manager]

Did you just explain my past marriage?

That seems to be a common theme.... some marriages can be the same but without the dom.

 

[MikeH]

Did you just explain my past marriage?

Are you talking about the part with golden showers, ball-busting, and using Japanese toilets for self-pleasure?

To be honest I thought I have some weird preferences. And then I moved to Japan.