D0n't know if it is true or not but I've heard that it can be very dangerous to date a married woman in Japan since the husband has the right to sue you which could incidently make you lose your visa.
Can someone confirm?
I've seen situations of my friends, foreigners, and Japanese acquaintances getting sued. I was dating married women, when I got "scared straight" after seeing what happened to a few pals. The common theme and problem was getting involved TOO LONG and in a TOO OBVIOUS way with a married person, and the married person NOT protecting the information of their lover.
Usually the married couple are having severe relationship problems, that often involve sex, money, kids, physical distance/separation, and/or emotional neglect. Due to disagreements between them, REVENGE and SPYING become primary motives to "find something" on their spouse.
Suing is NOT so common in Japan, BUT it does happen. And there are many "out of court" settlements. Many guys just agree to PAY, and avoid court.
Japanese wives tend to sue because they see a way to get money. Japanese courts are not infected with feminism and bias towards women (like in the West) in nearly always rewarding child support and alimony to just women. Japanese divorces are more no-fault types where if you both agree to divorce, and you can make money and child custody deals among yourselves (NOT the court).
Consequently, if the wife smells a way to get cash as the relationship heads towards divorce, some will go for it. As custody, alimony, and child support are not guaranteed to Japanese women.
For husbands, they may want to embarrass and humiliate the cheating wife, and put themselves in a position to get FULL custody of the kids (unfit mother). In Japanese culture, humiliation and public shaming is particularly painful, especially in front of her family and job. And which the husband may make sure to do, while also putting the guy she was with in any kind of "hot water" too.
Don't underestimate that a private investigator won't be hired or that distance is protection. One of my pals had a wife in Okinawa and a girlfriend in Tokyo. His GIRLFRIEND and HER PARENTS, still got sued by his wife. He was living with his girlfriend.
If you are going to "play" with married people, you may want to do the following:
1) Meet 1x or a FEW times and LEAVE. Give minimum information and do NOT take her to your house or in your car. Never go to the married woman's house. Even in Japan, the husband might knife you and get away with it.
Go the love hotel route.
A few times, you can use the "I didn't know she/he was married" defense. But if they dig up e-mails and it's clear that the wife or husband told you, then you could be toast.
If she is saying she is married and clearly talking about her husband in e-mail. Pull you are shocked she is married or didn't tell you she was married, and RUN! Keep in mind that the spouse can use e-mails as PROOF.
2) Consider swinger clubs, swinger parties, and swinger couples.
Married women that go or that you take to swinger clubs and parties are not usually going to run their mouths and often HIDE everything about themselves and what they are doing.
Even if a private investigator follows the wife, he must become a MEMBER at the club or known at the party (which can be very hard), and it's difficult to identify a particular person. They will be forced to make a generalized report, which can still be embarrassing for the spouse, but PRORECTS the lover from a lawsuit.
Also MARRIED SWINGER couples are usually SAFE. They both are in agreement and open-minded about sex. Because they are swingers, the judge is unlikely to even hear the case or award either of them anything.
3) If you get involved in any type of long term relationship with a married person, be VERY CLEAR that it's SEXUAL ONLY (particularly with women) and that they are to PROTECT their own and your information.
Act as if you are being followed. There shouldn't be any phone records, detailed e-mails, her at your apartment, etc...
Some cheating married people are very smart, and they will usually make that clear in their actions. While others will act like the person they are cheating with is going to be the NEW husband or wife. They then splash your information and name everywhere, until it catches the attention of the spouse. Even they can purposely leave it around to make their spouse jealous in an insane game that you may not want to be involved in.
Be very clear about the mental state of the married person and outright ask about how they are protecting your information.
VISA
The foreigners that I saw get busted had Permanent Resident VISAs and SOFA (special American VISAs). Japanese immigration couldn't touch them. However, Americans under SOFA (military) can be subject to very old-fashioned and strict rules against adultery and may get fired or punished.
However, if it goes to Japanese court, it will be something that can be used against you in Japan. If you are under a Japanese Work VISA, I would advise to be very careful and avoid going to court. Your court records are something that Japanese immigration CAN SEE and may hold against you. It may also prevent you from getting a Permanent Resident VISA later.
