Getting Better at Pickup/Keeping a Low Profile

[MikeH]

Why? You look like a bum and/or a male escort?

I am not sure which one would make me more uncomfortable. But in ancient times when I was tall, slim and young (still one out of three) I was approached out there in the streets and offered lots of money for sexual acts.

I am just wondering where they all are now when I would be finally willing and still able.

 

[warubuta]

Rather, the analogy was meant to stand for the real issue: the (unsolicited) male approach. Men are not psychic. We cannot possibly know (without talking to women) if they are single, taken, interested, uninterested, or any of the vast gray area that exists within (everybody knows that sometimes "yes" signals are nos and. Yes, you have to make the approach and not be sure if it will be requited or not and thats not wrong, whether it occurs at a club, at the company water cooler, or on the street. You need no context, no prior indication, looks, glances, or invitation to speak to a women provided you:

-don't violate her personal space
-are respectful, hygenic, and calm
-Allow her to leave at any point should she wish

If you are not allowed to speak to who you want, we would be living in a totalitarian society. The dictatorship of romance.

You can speak to whomever you want, but agressively chatting up a huge number of women should not be within your rights as it encroaches on other's rights to be left alone and it degrades the quality of life in the city. Your justification is the same justifcation as someone who throws trash on the street. "It's a big, long street. My little piece of trash is small. It won't be a problem as long as everyone doesn't do it." The problem is, if you think it is OK for you to do, then everyone should be allowed to do it. What would the street look like if everyone threw their garbage on it? How many ladies do you and your guys each chat up on an average night out on the prowl? Now what would happen if every guy out on the town started chatting up girls at the same rate that you and your guys do? What would happen is that the town would become a very unpleasant place for the ladies. Their quality of life would be degraded. They would be constantly pestered, in the most polite way, by every single guy. Aggressive nampa is not such a huge civic problem in most cities, but only because not that many guys do it. It is still a problem. Same as littering. It shows a lack of responsibility to the social environment you live in. One more thing: How do I sign up for lessons?

 

[Sinapse]

Yeah, it's easy to think only of the bad (nuisance) side of nanpa and I don't disagree there is (some) truth to that claim. But you also have to weigh the good in there too, which is what peope who don't do nanpa (or don't get nampa'd) don't see and seemingly (from some of the replies in this thread) can't imagine. I can't count the amount of times I've had girls tell me "thanks for talking to me" or "声かけてくれてありがとう！また近々に遊ぼう！,” or similarly who moan and complain that they can't find men or are sexless. I read just today 44% of young women are virgins. Not to mention the happy, glowing faces after the orgasmic tremors abide.

So if I slightly annoy one women for 5 seconds, to me that's offset by the profound and joy I can bring women over one entire night, several months, or even years, and they seem to agree. Even the women on this forum itself confess to having gone with and enjoyed being nampad (by the right guy of course).

So it's all about perspective. Am I being annoying to women here and there, quite mildly, and in a way they forget after perhaps 10 seconds? Sure, I could concede that. But I bring more laughs, joy, orgasms, and mirth to the world than annoyance, and I'm willing to put all my money behind that. What I'm doing is a public service -- both for the approaches that go well and end in romance, and those that go poorly (by instructing guys how to be LESS creepy and more calibrated and approach in a way women will at least respect, even if they aren't interested).

Everyone (interestingly, it's ALL MEN telling us how annoying it is FOR WOMEN) here who doubts it should try, and it would actually surprise you how much spontaneous joy and entertainment you can bring to the world through, as @Dorian Gray calls it, "Guerrila sociology."

Littering is truly something which is useless and unequivocably bad behavior. Nanpa is not in the same category. In fact, it's actually a public service, and I think I should receive some taxpayer money for curbing the virginity/lovelessness/boredom/lack of spontaneity of this country

 

[ShowaJidai]

So my point is that the (sometimes unsolicited) male approach is in many ways the foundation of romance which has and will always pave the way for countless happy relationships and marriages, even as it often leads to dismissals or rejections.

THIS, 1000% this.

That being said, appropriateness is in the eye of the beholder. The difference between hot and creepy depends entirely on how she feels about the encounter. As long as you are sensitive to this fact It's all good.

 

[Sinapse]

In a Buta-balanced Perfect World there would be super hot, but super strong and violent Uber-babes who would walk around town looking for Mr. Nampas to target them. When an unsuspecting Mr. Nampa rolled out his cheesy opening line and flashed his pearly whites, Uber-babe would swiftly and with devastating force punch Mr. Nampa right in the teeth with her brass knuckles that she carries just for this occasion, and she would casually walk off leaving Mr. Nampa spitting blood and broken teeth on the sidewalk. Another one bites the dust.

The women care far less than you do. Perhaps you should reflect on why that is

Also... Damn dude that's pretty violent and extreme. Sounds like you might need some counseling and I'm worried for women near you/ in your life

 

[warubuta]

The women care far less than you do. Perhaps you should reflect on why that is

Also... Damn dude that's pretty violent and extreme. Sounds like you might need some counseling and I'm worried for women near you/ in your life

This is what the whole Me Too thing is all about. Let me explain it to you. A woman on the street alone is at a disadvantage to a man. You have to acknowledge that and think hard before you approach. She can’t tell him to fuck off like she would like to because she is at risk of violence. If the tables were turned and men were not as strong physically as women, the nampa boys would be getting their assed beat hard every now and then. Am I wrong about that? That is what my little story is about. I am all for men picking up women. I am all for people talking to strangers and forming relationships. Japan needs much more of it. But the nampa street boys are taking advantage of the fundamentally weak position of a woman alone on the street. In a bar or a club, it is a different situation. And your notion that your intrusions are justified because, although you piss off some women, you make others happy is so fucked up. Who appointed you the Happiness Officer of all women? Jesus man.

 

[warubuta]

THIS, 1000% this.

That being said, appropriateness is in the eye of the beholder. The difference between hot and creepy depends entirely on how she feels about the encounter. As long as you are sensitive to this fact It's all good.

How is anyone going to know how she feels if she is startled and scared by this strange man talking to her? She might not have the confidence to tell him to leave her alone. She might have emotional issues. Who knows. So I guess Nampa Boy decides what’s appropriate? Hmm. You have any teenage daughters? No I didn’t think so.

 

[ShowaJidai]

Nampa Boy decides what’s appropriate?

Any fool who cannot tell the difference between a cool but welcoming response and a startled, bewildered one has no Effing sense and won't be getting anywhere even if he happens upon a totally desparate woman who actually wants his body. For Nampa to work the guy has to have a well-developed sense for how she is responding and he has to react precisely to that.

Nampa is like surfing. You won't do well or even learn anything about it until you learn to read the waves and know where to be on that particular wave when it comes along. Just thrashing out at every wave that comes along will only leave you worn out.

 

[warubuta]

Any fool who cannot tell the difference between a cool but welcoming response and a startled, bewildered one has no Effing sense and won't be getting anywhere even if he happens upon a totally desparate woman who actually wants his body. For Nampa to work the guy has to have a well-developed sense for how she is responding and he has to react precisely to that.

I totally agree. From my own observation, many of these street nampa geniuses are not at all sensitive to how a woman responds to advances. We have all seen the overly persistent asshole. So this is why I have a problem with nampa in situations where the woman is at a disadvantage. A woman alone in the street is at a disadvantage, don’t you think?

 

[Sinapse]

Troll begone.

Back to the OP question. Can we get a mod in here?

 

[Frenchy]

Troll begone.

Back to the OP question. Can we get a mod in here?

Sorry, not to take any side, but I don’t see why the previous exchange was not related to the OP’s question.
The point is that there are other ways to « hit » than talking to strangers on the street.

 

[Sinapse]

Sorry, not to take any side, but I don’t see why the previous exchange was not related to the OP’s question.
The point is that there are other ways to « hit » than talking to strangers on the street.

The question was how to pickup more effectively / covertly, not "I'm looking for open season on random observations and sweeping generalizations (and advocating violence) regarding pickup and why it's bad"

Interestingly, advocating violence is one of the definitions of hate speech.

I have no doubt much of society looks down on mongers and providers so no need to bring random hate and half-baked accusations here.

You don't see me calling the monger side losers who can't get laid without paying for it.

 

[Sinapse]

And, if anyone sees anyone bullying, threatening, coercing, etc women, let me know so I can have a word with them. You better believe I have zero tolerance for that in any of my own forums, groups or LINE chats and guys have been booted for getting anywhere near that territory. That's all I have to say about it and let's move beyond this witch hunt

 

[warubuta]

And, if anyone sees anyone bullying, threatening, coercing, etc women, let me know so I can have a word with them. You better believe I have zero tolerance for that in any of my own forums, groups or LINE chats and guys have been booted for getting anywhere near that territory. That's all I have to say about it and let's move beyond this witch hunt

Then you need to have a word with about half of the guys doing street nampa. I am sure you are a perfect modern sensitive gentleman, and in your class you stress this aspect. But the reality on the street is different. Anyway. No disrespect intended.

 

[Sinapse]

Then you need to have a word with about half of the guys doing street nampa. I am sure you are a perfect modern sensitive gentleman, and in your class you stress this aspect. But the reality on the street is different. Anyway. No disrespect intended.

Yes, and there are PLENTY of stories about mongers murdering providers.

Far, far more than about nampa guys getting violent with girls. So please, a little perspective.

The first thing I teach is how to not be a KY douchebag. Unfortunately, that's also the most visible and what people always think of when they think if nampa

 

[Babaram]

So if I slightly annoy one women for 5 seconds, to me that's offset by the profound and joy I can bring women over one entire night, several months, or even years, and they seem to agree.
....

Littering is truly something which is useless and unequivocably bad behavior. Nanpa is not in the same category. In fact, it's actually a public service, and I think I should receive some taxpayer money for curbing the virginity/lovelessness/boredom/lack of spontaneity of this country

I'm sorry, these are the words of a sociopath.

 

[Frenchy]

I'm sorry, these are the words of a sociopath.

... more like megalomaniac I thought . seriously, some of my tax money should go to THIS?!!! I know it’s not always spent wisely (euphemism) but there are some limits!

 

[Babaram]

sociopath
ˈsəʊʃɪə(ʊ)paθ,ˈsəʊsɪə(ʊ)paθ/
noun
noun: sociopath; plural noun: sociopaths

1. a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behaviour.

"The most incredible trait of a sociopath, is their complete lack of conscience, lack of empathy, remorse, guilt or shame. ... Lack of empathy, guilt, remorse or shame is one of the hallmark traits of the sociopath." datingasociopathh.com

 

[Sinapse]

The tax thing was a joke...

Some people seriously don't have a sense of humor

That's fine tho, I'm happy to play the role of villain in your nursing home delusions

 

[Frenchy]

sociopath
ˈsəʊʃɪə(ʊ)paθ,ˈsəʊsɪə(ʊ)paθ/
noun
noun: sociopath; plural noun: sociopaths

1. a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behaviour.

No, that one is me. Sinapse is just a megalo

 

[Frenchy]

The tax thing was a joke...

Some people seriously don't have a sense of humor

That's fine tho, I'm happy to play the role of villain in your nursing home delusions

Yeaaah, riiiight

 

[warubuta]

I'm sorry, these are the words of a sociopath.

Sociopathy as he has written it, but I dont think Sinapse is a socipath. I just think he is a bit insensitive, irresponsible, not civically minded, immature and egotistical. In short, he is like the rest of us. Let us all bow are heads in shame for 3 or 4 seconds. Finished? Ok, lets hit the streets!

 

[MikeH]

Sociopathy as he has written it, but I dont think Sinapse is a socipath. I just think he is a bit insensitive, irresponsible, not civically minded, immature and egotistical. In short, he is like the rest of us. Let us all bow are heads in shame for 3 or 4 seconds. Finished? Ok, lets hit the streets!

Because I am also small minded, racist and just plain stupid I bowed an extra second.

Though I was smirking all the time, hope it doesn't disqualify my efforts?

Anyway, of to a pub to talk to them ladies.

 

[ShowaJidai]

Yeah, I've assumed I'm probably a sociopath since my platoon in the Marines elected me "Most Likely to Cause a Nationaly Telivised Incident".

But I've learned to hide it really well.

 

[Shades Of Jae]

The British should be consulted on trade, war, navies and steam engines and on absolutely nothing involving social interactions. All they bring to the game is alcohol and a dislike of talking to strangers.

And women deserve far more respect and consideration than any non gamer gives them.