Getting married with an Ex sexual Worker.

[MikeH]

Because he has a right to want what ever he wants in a mate.. Personally, I don't want to marry a girl who had sex with 1000 men..

For Christ sakes why are men so beta these days.. literally they will do anything for pussy. Starting to see women with more balls these days.

You can want what you want; often you cannot get it though. Like if a girl would like get married to me she would have to concede to the fact that she is going to get married to a guy who has had sex with over 1.000 women. What's even worse, she would have to get married to someone who has a past as a sales guy. Deal with it or break up, you cannot change the past.

And who is more alpha; a guy who gets self confidence issues immediately when he hears her girl has had sex with other guys or the guy who thinks it's good the girl has had some experiences because she now has the understanding and knowledge to appreciate the great sex he can provide?

 

[justabrat]

Not sure how being upset your wife was an escort and being blind sided and pissed about it turn into a psychological disorder. What Thy fuck?

I suppose, its about what we conceive as true and how the illusions that you have (it sound cheesy) just fall . I dont think its about whatever somebody did.... its about the boundaries that somebody (my wife in this case) is able to cross. I think im disappointed because she just fool at me in some way? but at the same time how to speak with honesty about this when you want to get a normal life?

 

[animal131]

You can want what you want; often you cannot get it though. Like if a girl would like get married to me she would have to concede to the fact that she is going to get married to a guy who has had sex with over 1.000 women. What's even worse, she would have to get married to someone who has a past as a sales guy. Deal with it or break up, you cannot change the past.

And who is more alpha; a guy who gets self confidence issues immediately when he hears her girl has had sex with other guys or the guy who thinks it's good the girl has had some experiences because she now has the understanding and knowledge to appreciate the great sex he can provide?

Maybe that is your motto. but everyone has their limits and beliefs and I don't break my beliefs for a piece of ass.
Same goes for a woman.. she decides who she wants who and doesn't want. Don't see the problem.

I don't measure my confidence with pussy. I know guys who fucked only one women that would flip you upside down kid. What a retard way to think.

Guy has every right to be pissed, think, and process.

You have any intentions on getting married or just fuck and pass. We are all different and have different values.

 

[Joe2017]

"In japan this kind of Job is like to be a nurse"

Nice to read you feel better and you are taking steps.
Do not take the psychologist's comments literally. If he is a good psychologist, he was simply checking your mind map, seeing your reaction. If this was not the case, better find another one more cultivated.
A few years ago I had a neighbor who was psychologist, with whom I frequently chatted in the elevator. His clinic was on the first floor and his apartment on the same floor as mine, the 18th. We had good conversations. In the consultation, he received mostly clients with stress due to overwork and work harassment -he said. Funny thing was that in his apartment he was visited by really spectacular girls, those they have the business between their legs. Maybe you have meet him!

 

[Frenchy]

What's even worse, she would have to get married to someone who has a past as a sales guy.

the horror, the horror...

 

[Frenchy]

Nice to read you feel better and you are taking steps.
Do not take the psychologist's comments literally. If he is a good psychologist, he was simply checking your mind map, seeing your reaction. If this was not the case, better find another one more cultivated.
A few years ago I had a neighbor who was psychologist, with whom I frequently chatted in the elevator. His clinic was on the first floor and his apartment on the same floor as mine, the 18th. We had good conversations. In the consultation, he received mostly clients with stress due to overwork and work harassment -he said. Funny thing was that in his apartment he was visited by really spectacular girls, those they have the business between their legs. Maybe you have meet him!

So his patients are women who « have the business between their legs » and they complain about work harrassment? Maybe they just expected their clients to just put the cash between their legs and leave it at that?

 

[Joe2017]

CBT cannot be treated with three sessions in most cases most dissociative disorders are NOT treatable and simply mitigated

BTW, I was not writing a doctoral thesis, nor generalizing about REBT -to talk accurate. I have simply said that in his case that there is not a mental disorder, just stress, with a few sessions of a good psychological treatment, would be enough. I could have recommended him also to go to gym, that is what I usually do, but shit gyms are closed. Congratulations on working on the suicide hot line, that honors you and honors TAG having you as member.

 

[justabrat]

So his patients are women who « have the business between their legs » and they complain about work harrassment? Maybe they just expected their clients to just put the cash between their legs and leave it at that?

Once, working i met a girl who was into the porn industry here. We became quite a friends or i supposed she needed some much somebody to talk with. But also she had deepest issues mostly because the producer treats like shit the workers...

 

[Acid Burn]

I know guys who fucked only one women that would flip you upside down kid. What a retard way to think.

I’m just wondering how old you are if you’re calling @MikeH a kid.

 

[Acid Burn]

There’s nothing you can do about her past and remember that it was just a short term job for her.
But contrary to my fellow Taggers who posted here, I think that if you feel going to a pink salon or soapland etc would
1. Make you feel « even » (sounds stupid but I know what you mean)
2. Let the past be the past and help you move on from those icky feelings
3. Not ruin your marriage
... then do it

I was thinking OP wanted to get even. But if it’s just to “feel” more even with her experiences, then I agree. Might work. Or OP may end up feeling horribly guilty afterwards too (maybe just start with happy ending MP’s and slowly move on up from there). But hell, sometimes partaking in p4p can help a marriage, right. After all, some taggers, for various reasons, are able to maintain a marriage longer due in part to p4p (usually sexless marriages and likely undisclosed p4p, but still).

What's even worse, she would have to get married to someone who has a past as a sales guy

You’re right, that is worse. I would have no problem going with a former soap princess, but if I met some fast talking slick sales chick, that, I’m not so sure I’d be as okay with. Haha. At least after a soap princess screws someone, the they feel happy afterwards. Sales chick, not so much.

 

[MikeH]

You’re right, that is worse. I would have no problem going with a former soap princess, but if I met some fast talking slick sales chick, that, I’m not so sure I’d be as okay with. Haha. At least after a soap princess screws someone, the they feel happy afterwards. Sales chick, not so much.

Well, not every soap princess knows how to do her job and same goes for the sales chicks. The older I get the more I value a good sales person. If she knows her shit she can professionally present me my choices and ask me about my selection criteria and then recommend an option. With that she is saving me a huge amount of time which at this age is my most valued asset.

 

[Frenchy]

Well, not every soap princess knows how to do her job and same goes for the sales chicks. The older I get the more I value a good sales person. If she knows her shit she can professionally present me my choices and ask me about my selection criteria and then recommend an option. With that she is saving me a huge amount of time which at this age is my most valued asset.

Have you met a lot of salespeople like that?
Usually I prefer to talk to the after-sales guys first (client servicing... whatever you call them in your biz). Its a bit of an unorthodox approach but usually they know the product / service better and above all they know all the shit existing clients are going through.
So when a salesperson (even with a nice smile and pussy) want to meet me I ask him/her to come along with the Client Servicing grunt. You could nearly hear/feel the « gasp » on the other side of the call/mail

 

[Tabanico]

You have any intentions on getting married or just fuck and pass. We are all different and have different values.

You certainly seem to be accepting of everyone else's values!

Good luck finding that virgin to marry.

 

[Sudsy]

Good luck finding that virgin to marry.

But wait!

YOU are a virgin!

In your left ear.

I think.

Then again.. I could be wrong there.....

 

[Frenchy]

But wait!

YOU are a virgin!

In your left ear.

I think.

Then again.. I could be wrong there.....

given all the shit I hear recently with those Zoom calls and crazy news and daughters KPop etc I must admit, sometimes, I wish it was two dicks, left and right. Yeah, both. Thats how bad it got

 

[MikeH]

But wait!

YOU are a virgin!

In your left ear.

Personally I wouldn't bet any serious money on that one.

 

[animal131]

You certainly seem to be accepting of everyone else's values!

Good luck finding that virgin to marry.

No disrespect to you lol but; you are the kind of guy I am talking about. When it comes to sex, it appears you are like water: taking any form or shape to acquire or appease your goddess. I'm just not this guy and I have no shame being "not that guy". I have limits and apparently you don't. Good for you.名誉

OP already says he doesn't agree with what she did and going to work through it. Kinda ended there right?

If she escorted before she should have (in my opinion) told him before marriage. Just like if a man is bisexual he should tell his wife right? Or no? Cause seeing gay porn on his computer may be a shock. "NO honey, I was gay in the past!" Nah bro. I know women that would pack up their shit in a second, divorce rape you and take the kids.

Some escorts wont take a Hispanic or Indian client. Than they say its her choice Bro, but when a man says I don't want to marry an escort. Ah bruh - all girls fuck. and im not sure how dating around and escorting are on the same wave length, but we all have a different barometer. I know escorts that say they date guys, they tell them what do and they say they are OK with it but many are not.

ironically if you told a psychologist that you see many escorts. Many would say its YOU that has the problem ( anti-social blah blah blah) (unable to form long lasting complex relationship blah blah) depending what country you are in and

if that once gay married man were to have the urge to have a 6 incher right in the ass? and didn't tell his wife his little secret now he is in a pickle "pun intended" now he has to go behind her back see a 人妖 when he could have just bought her that chin strap if he told her when sliding on that wedding ring. "I like sausages" so they are on the same sexual wavelength

I just think its funny how some are trying to flip the script on the OP. In essence you are telling me. You don't know how to say no to a woman and that's plenty fine.

 

[justabrat]

No disrespect to you lol but; you are the kind of guy I am talking about. When it comes to sex, it appears you are like water: taking any form or shape to acquire or appease your goddess. I'm just not this guy and I have no shame being "not that guy". I have limits and apparently you don't. Good for you.名誉

OP already says he doesn't agree with what she did and going to work through it. Kinda ended there right?

If she escorted before she should have (in my opinion) told him before marriage. Just like if a man is bisexual he should tell his wife right? Or no? Cause seeing gay porn on his computer may be a shock. "NO honey, I was gay in the past!" Nah bro. I know women that would pack up their shit in a second, divorce rape you and take the kids.

Some escorts wont take a Hispanic or Indian client. Than they say its her choice Bro, but when a man says I don't want to marry an escort. Ah bruh - all girls fuck. and im not sure how dating around and escorting are on the same wave length, but we all have a different barometer. I know escorts that say they date guys, they tell them what do and they say they are OK with it but many are not.

ironically if you told a psychologist that you see many escorts. Many would say its YOU that has the problem ( anti-social blah blah blah) (unable to form long lasting complex relationship blah blah) depending what country you are in and

if that once gay married man were to have the urge to have a 6 incher right in the ass? and didn't tell his wife his little secret now he is in a pickle "pun intended" now he has to go behind her back see a 人妖 when he could have just bought her that chin strap if he told her when sliding on that wedding ring. "I like sausages" so they are on the same sexual wavelength

I just think its funny how some are trying to flip the script on the OP. In essence you are telling me. You don't know how to say no to a woman and that's plenty fine.

I think, this is the whole point. I was thinking after to read everything, it’s very easy for a few users just to do opinions without think about, hopefully i know what to take from here. At least i got this website of counselling and i don’t feel so like crap anymore reading theres also guys who will not married an ex sex worker. At the same time that make me feel like shit but what ever its about our personal compass...

This situation that happen to me is quite difficult and the correct way I thought for my wife it was just to tell the true before, to allow me to decide and don’t fall in the mess that we have now. Its common sense i guess.

 

[Frenchy]

I think, this is the whole point. I was thinking after to read everything, it’s very easy for a few users just to do opinions without think about, hopefully i know what to take from here. At least i got this website of counselling and i don’t feel so like crap anymore reading theres also guys who will not married an ex sex worker. At the same time that make me feel like shit but what ever its about our personal compass...

This situation that happen to me is quite difficult and the correct way I thought for my wife it was just to tell the true before, to allow me to decide and don’t fall in the mess that we have now. Its common sense i guess.

maybe, maybe not

did you tell her your darkest secrets before marrying?

 

[justabrat]

maybe, maybe not

did you tell her your darkest secrets before marrying?

As i said, there’s no bullshit from my part in between.

 

[mr roboto]

As i said, there’s no bullshit from my part in between.

About sex maybe but what about other nice things like alcohol and drugs. Your moral compass is not the same as your wife or anybody else.

 

[Rusty Trombone]

@justabrat I hate to say this, but IMHO you are the problem, not your wife.

You are bringing what I presume is a Western (Judeo-Christian) value system to an oriental country which does not have the same religious based moral system.

You are judging your wife not by the values that have shaped her life, but those that have shaped yours.

I find the people that succeed here, and not just in love, but business also, are those that are more adaptable, and able to develop both an understanding of and empathy for those around them.

I'm not saying Japan is perfect by any means, but developing the ability to be flexible, and to be open to seeing other points of view is vital to having a successful life here.

While it is somewhat ironic that I seem to be sitting in judgement here in this post, if you can't get past this, you are better off ending it now. And if you do manage to talk it out with her, you've then got to put it to bed, and never ever bring it up again (no matter how how bigger argument you get into).

 

[Rusty Trombone]

If she escorted before she should have (in my opinion) told him before marriage. Just like if a man is bisexual he should tell his wife right?

Hardly an apt comparison there!!

It's like telling my potential wife I had a DUI in the distant past vs having an ongoing alcohol dependency. One she doesn't need to know, the other she absolutely does.

 

[Frenchy]

Hardly an apt comparison there!!

It's like telling my potential wife I had a DUI in the distant past vs having an ongoing alcohol dependency. One she doesn't need to know, the other she absolutely does.

a bit of personal perspective : my wife told me (many years after marriage) that she worked part time as a « waitress » at some Yakuza dinner parties. And that her sister was an hostess , didnt take long to understand it was for the same employer. Didn’t ask for more info , and in fact I kinda liked it. Sounded badass and all. No problem with that and frankly just a one week gig in a pink salon or deliheru many years ago would not bother me either.

If she had told me BEFORE marriage how much of a nagging / demanding / cold bitch she would become afterwards , however, that would have changed a lot of things!

 

[Joe2017]

If she had told me BEFORE marriage how much of a nagging / demanding / cold bitch she would become afterwards , however, that would have changed a lot of things

Yes, no sense to worry about the BEFORE, main problems are usually about the AFTER. I was happily dating with a Japanese girl for two years, with wedding plans. She told me that she was bisexual and that her previous partner had been a woman. To make a short story, I had no problem with that, until I discovered she had been cheating on me with her ex and they were still lovers. They slept together every time I traveled out for business, without having the courtesy to invite me to the fun. However, it was a wonderful two years! No regrets.