Good Adult Jokes

[Majestyk]

Question: If you’re married to one of these lovely identical twin sisters, how would you recognise your wife?

The correct answer: Why should I?

 

[Majestyk]

Santa is coming soon.

 

[AMcguyver]

Ever wonder why Santa is so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

[Majestyk]

That’s quite thoughtful

 

[Majestyk]

Stay safe this holiday season, guys!

 

[AMcguyver]

 

[Acid Burn]

View attachment 15819

Maybe they just finished watching Total Recall.

 

[Sudsy]

Or perhaps they just finished reading the Hitchhiker's Guide.... (the passages about Eccentrica Gallumbits were the inspiration for the lady in the movie).

Eccentrica Gallumbits is the far-famed triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six.

“Some people say her erogenous zones start some four miles from her actual body. Me, I disagree, I say five.”
—Ford Prefect

“the best bang since the Big One.”
—Zaphod Beeblebrox

 

[Majestyk]

Santa got busy!

 

[just4fun]

 

[shadowboxer]

Santa got busy!

View attachment 15824

I first read ‘Santa got busty!’

 

[Durg50]

Got sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after 1 minor indiscretion. He slept with 1 of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet.

 

[oLUXo]

 

[Frenchy]

View attachment 15861

Happens to me all the time

 

[AMcguyver]

Happens to me all the time

Posting your vagina on the internet?

 

[MikeH]

Posting your vagina on the internet?

Pretending you haven't seen his vagina to prompt him to post it again won't work.

But still a good try!

 

[shadowboxer]

Posting your vagina on the internet?

I don't want to know what @Frenchy is referring to when he speaks of "his vagina".

 

[MikeH]

I don't want to know what @Frenchy is referring to when he speaks of "his vagina".

All I am hearing you don't like vaginas.

But if I'd have to take a guess my answer would be PhilSB.

 

[shadowboxer]

All I am hearing you don't like vaginas.

...

I can reassure you. I might even like your vagina.

 

[just4fun]

Happens to me all the time

Big ones?

 

[oLUXo]

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Majestyk]

A biker’s old lady always pulls to stop

 

[MikeH]

A biker’s old lady always pulls to stop

Maybe she is just making sure the guy is driving very very carefully. I mean you don't want to trip and have the lady flying off the bike.

 

[oLUXo]

A biker’s old lady always pulls to stop

View attachment 15906

She is just keeping her hands warm. With all the wind and vibrations between her legs, she needs to warm up them hands.