Good Adult Jokes

[Majestyk]

Oh, behave!

 

[Frenchy]

 

[Majestyk]

Good point

 

[just4fun]

 

[just4fun]

I hope this offends at least someone......

 

[MikeH]

I hope this offends at least someone......

I call BS on that.

He definitely wants to watch.

 

[Joe2017]

It’s all in the mix.
He offered her Scotch and soda. She declined.
He offered her Scotch and sofa. She reclined.

View attachment 16134

That reminded me this other...

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Nikkei Guy]

I’ve got nothing against gays but did find this humorous.

And yes, I did see Spider-Man at first

 

[Frenchy]

I’ve got nothing against gays but did find this humorous.

And yes, I did see Spider-Man at first

me too, then I understood its obviously a butterfly with very thin body

 

[MikeH]

I’ve got nothing against gays but did find this humorous.

I love gays! Less competition.

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Majestyk]

This coronavirus pandemic is driving us mad. In certain occasions, it has turned us batshit crazy.

So I went to the toilet at a small neighbourhood restaurant, which observes strict social-distancing rules and an early closing time.

I opened the door with my elbow, raised the toilet seat with my foot, switched on the water faucet with a tissue, and washed my hands with the liquid soap for 20-30 seconds.

On my way out, I opened the door with my elbow again. I did everything right, I thought.

When I returned to my table, I suddenly realised ...

I forgot to pee!

 

[AMcguyver]

This guy walks into a bar with his briefcase in hand and he’s mad. He sits at the bar, puts his case down and orders a drink. The bartender serves him right up and asks the man what’s got him down.
The man gives a disappointed grin and tells the bartender that he can just show him. He opens his briefcase and out pops a tiny person about a foot tall that begins to play his miniature piano.
Of course the bartender is amazed and is just about to ask where he found this little guy but is cut off by the man who informs him that there’s a genie outside his bar granting people wishes for free.

The bartender sprints outside but comes right back only minutes later followed by an army of quacking ducks that fill the whole place.
Angrily, the bartender says to the first man that the genie has: “ Gotta be deaf man! I ask for a million bucks and get a million ducks…”

First man says “ Bro, you think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?”

 

[Majestyk]

Marketing

 

[Sudsy]

 

[Frenchy]

Marketing

View attachment 16257

this is actually the most potent ad I’ve seen in years

 

[Majestyk]

Not sure, but there could’ve been an explosion at a Viagra factory.

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Majestyk]

Now this seems to be an ideal vaccination facility.

 

[MikeH]

Now this seems to be an ideal vaccination facility.

Four in a row? Challenge accepted!

 

[Majestyk]

Nightclubs are reopening, but only the initial batch of vaccinated people will be allowed in.

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Majestyk]