Good Adult Jokes

[Majestyk]

Help!

 

[Majestyk]

Hello, October!

 

[Majestyk]

Eat your veggies.

 

[Majestyk]

Amen.

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Majestyk]

“I understand thy kisses and thou mine,
And that’s a feeling disputation.”

— Henry IV, Part 1: Act 3, Scene 1

 

[Majestyk]

Am I the only one who sees something else than a fish?

 

[MikeH]

Am I the only one who sees something else than a fish?

And it seems to be leaking too already. I'd eat that so hard they wouldn't let me in that restaurant ever again.

 

[Majestyk]

Coming soon: The Dress Thief

Half man, half machine, all pervert

 

[Majestyk]

Exactly.

 

[Majestyk]

Uh-oh ...

 

[Acid Burn]

Uh-oh ...
View attachment 12449

That’s funny. I want to post this at work but I’ll probably get in trouble. Haha.

 

[Majestyk]

Happy Halloween!

 

[Majestyk]

I agree.

 

[Majestyk]

Here are two things that somehow, like it or not, rule the world.

It's my own desire
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world

 

[Acid Burn]

Here are two things that somehow, like it or not, rule the world.

The V and Curt Smith??

I’m a little slow, it actually took me a while to get that picture. I kept looking at your post thinking no comprendo... curt smith and a vagina???

 

[Majestyk]

The V and Curt Smith??

I’m a little slow, it actually took me a while to get that picture. I kept looking at your post thinking no comprendo... curt smith and a vagina???

Cheers!
That song was on my playlist for this morning’s brisk walk. It got me thinking about why I work so hard all these years. Yes, there’s plenty of reasons. But M&Ms rank high among those factors.

 

[Majestyk]

Security at this beach is strict.

 

[Ken1988]

Girl A "So, you said you were a sapiosexual. Any luck with dating apps?"
Girl B "I met a guy just like Woody Allen."
Girl A "Sounds perfect! How's he like?"
Girl B "Ur, he is more like a character acted by him..."

 

[Majestyk]

“I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you.”
— Jack Dawson, RMS Titanic passenger

 

[Majestyk]

Here’s an oldie:
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
He shouted at her, "You aren't so good in bed either!" then stormed off to work.
By mid-morning, the doctor decided that he'd better make amends and called home. The phone kept ringing until the wife finally picked it up.
“What took you so long to answer?" he asked. "I was in bed," she replied. "What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion.”

 

[Majestyk]

 

[Majestyk]

Yup.

 

[just4fun]

This is why I was banned from the Lego Club

 

[Thoriumwalker]

Just stopping by to drop this gem.