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How do you answer/avoid the most dreaded questions?

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LeonGRAY

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Ok so you're dating and/or meeting new people and these questions almost always come up. I find these questions to be soul-draining and they suck all the fun out of a conversation.

1: "Why did you come to Japan?"
If you're not an english teacher you could casually say "My company transferred me" or "Just for work" but what if you're an english teacher or something simular etc.?

2: "Why do you like Japan?"
I hate this question the most. For me it's a combination of a lot of factors. I do not have a cookie-cutter answer and simply do not feel like explaining myself for 5 minutes everytime I meet someone new.

3: "(Why) do you like Japanese girls?"
This question is somewhat of a 'shit test'. How to answer the proper way without sounding like you got yellow fever?

Sure while texting you can answer them the japanese way (pretend you didn't hear them) but face to face you can't. Or can you? How do YOU answer them?

Discuss.
 
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LeonGRAY said:
I find these questions to be soul-draining and they suck all the fun out of a conversation.
Click to expand...

That just implies you are not conversationalist.

With all these questions there are multiple ways to answer depending where you want the conversation to go.

Anyway these all sound like questions you get when speaking English. Just speak Japanese and you get more interesting conversations.

Including questions about the closest love hotels and should we go now or have one more for the road.
 
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MikeH said:
With all these questions there are multiple ways to answer depending where you want the conversation to go.
Click to expand...

Intimate. Not necessarily sex, but yeah usually sex.

MikeH said:
Anyway these all sound like questions you get when speaking English. Just speak Japanese and you get more interesting conversations.
Click to expand...

In my case it is the other way around. When using casual japanese or slang it usually turns into a tatemae routine. It takes two to tango so it's probably 50% my fault (maybe I'm asking the wrong questions) but I always try to avoid simple yes/no questions and I put some effort in it. That's my experience.

MikeH said:
That just implies you are not conversationalist.
Click to expand...

I don't like small talk and tatemae. I want to avoid the boring questions hence I created this topic.
 
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LeonGRAY said:
Intimate. Not necessarily sex, but yeah usually sex.
Click to expand...

Then you need to make it funny. When a girl is laughing her ass off you get much better chances of getting a piece of it.

First thing you need to understand is nobody asking these questions actually needs the answers. So you are free to answer any way you like.
 
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MikeH said:
First thing you need to understand is nobody asking these questions actually needs the answers. So you are free to answer any way you like.
Click to expand...

Good point. I'm taking the questions too serious. This forum is very therapeutic. Consider me surprised.

Still I don't know how would I dodge question 1 and 2 though.

It's the frustration of hearing it too many times wich puts me off. Anyone else feel the same way? Is this a sign I'm a frustrated serial dater and I should take a break from dating or should I stop human interaction completely? Enlighten me
 
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LeonGRAY said:
still don't know how would I dodge question 1 and 2 though.
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Oh, I was born here. Never even been out of the country. By the way do you have a passport and which country would you take me if we would need to go right now?

I actually don't like things in Japan much, but I can't live without natto so I am staying. Do you like natto too and should we order some right now?
 
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MikeH said:
Oh, I was born here. Never even been out of the country.
Click to expand...

They probably would take that as a serious answer. I used to goof around a lot and they took everything serious. Even the 'Ore Ore phone scams' answer when they asked me my profession. Delivery is key but idk man don't see that one working. I also don't wanna be seen as a weirdo. I like to think I grew up. Perhaps you got another one?
 
LeonGRAY said:
Delivery is key
Click to expand...

This.

And you need to be able to read your audience. I don't believe there is a single silver bullet for any of this.

But I get the feeling your main problem is you don't like to talk with people? If some of your conversations are boring it might be the other guy but if all of them are boring...
 
MikeH said:
This.

And you need to be able to read your audience. I don't believe there is a single silver bullet for any of this.

But I get the feeling your main problem is you don't like to talk with people? If some of your conversations are boring it might be the other guy but if all of them are boring...
Click to expand...

I find it hard to put a number on it. but it's atleast 25% and especially the beginning of conversations. They all follow a predictable pattern and I lose interest. As I previously mentioned maybe this is due to dating too much and I became a frustrated serial dater or I've been here too long and I need to date western women. Or perhaps an underlying depression due to not being fulfilled etc. etc.

What I do know is these questions annoy me and shrinks are expensive so keep it coming :D
 
LeonGRAY said:
I find these questions to be soul-draining and they suck all the fun out of a conversation.
Click to expand...
Then why stay on the question? These are just generic ice breaking convo starters (well, maybe not #3, but depends) especially if you don’t know the person well enough to talk specific topics yet. If these question topics bore you, then answer quickly and shift the topic.
 
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Easy to answer:
#1 - It's safe
#2 - It's safe
#3 - Their safe

Or you could go the other way....
#1 Huh ? I'm in Japan ? I thought this was S. Korea....
#2 - ref. above
#3 - who doesn't like Japanese Girls....

It's better than.....
Oh you can use chopsticks very well....
:D
 
LeonGRAY said:
Ok so you're dating and/or meeting new people and these questions almost always come up. I find these questions to be soul-draining and they suck all the fun out of a conversation.

1: "Why did you come to Japan?"
If you're not an english teacher you could casually say "My company transferred me" or "Just for work" but what if you're an english teacher or something simular etc.?

2: "Why do you like Japan?"
I hate this question the most. For me it's a combination of a lot of factors. I do not have a cookie-cutter answer and simply do not feel like explaining myself for 5 minutes everytime I meet someone new.

3: "(Why) do you like Japanese girls?"
This question is somewhat of a 'shit test'. How to answer the proper way without sounding like you got yellow fever?

Sure while texting you can answer them the japanese way (pretend you didn't hear them) but face to face you can't. Or can you? How do YOU answer them?

Discuss.
Click to expand...
when I get these questions I usually laugh and say "detaaaa ! kansetsu ni homeraretai shitsumon ga" :ROFLMAO:
but sometimes I play the game and give them what they want with a enough exaggerating to make it funny.

ps : except question 3, I usually answer that I don't particularly like Japanese girls, I'm more into Mediterranean ones but there are many nice girls in Japan too.
 
MikeH said:
That just implies you are not conversationalist.

With all these questions there are multiple ways to answer depending where you want the conversation to go.

Anyway these all sound like questions you get when speaking English. Just speak Japanese and you get more interesting conversations.

Including questions about the closest love hotels and should we go now or have one more for the road.
Click to expand...
I get those questions a lot during Japanese only first time conversations. But not with girls in dating situations, mainly with random people in bars or happening bars or parties.
 
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besides the first one (and that also rarely happened), i didnt get asked any of the others...
answer is quite simple (because its the truth, which you should use anyway)... i just tell them why i came to japan first and how it was and go from there, pretty straight forward^^
 
e-smile said:
I get those questions a lot during Japanese only first time conversations. But not with girls in dating situations, mainly with random people in bars or happening bars or parties.
Click to expand...

Yeah exactly. In those situations I feel like a tape recorder.
 
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