Guest viewing is limited

How many Japanese friends do you have?

Zero.
I've only spent a few months of my life in Japan though.
I met another foreigner who has been there 10+ years and told me it's difficult and takes a while to become actual friends with a Japanese - especially in a professional environment.
 
  • Like
Reactions: JaquesAfrog, Lukes and Des Esseintes
My closest friend is Japanese. Actually, in my life, she's the most in tune with me of all the people I have been lucky enough to call friends.

I reckon I am about 50:50 Japanese and foreigners. It takes time, but it's worth it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Unhurried Harry, Lukes, librelu and 2 others
I just had a catfight with my closest Japanese friend a few days ago for prioritizing escorting (which was an appointment that i had sceduled first to be honest) over spending halloween with her. So thats one less.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Majora, AMcguyver, Lukes and 4 others
Frenchy said:
Acquaintances ? Many
Friend? Zero
To be honest I don't even try , and I'm fine like this
Click to expand...

Same here but it appears that I'm gonna have to improve my Japanese skills fairly dramatically in the coming years if I want to progress in my job.
Reading and writing I can work on that by myself but the hardest part is listening comprehension. People recommend watching TV but every time I turn on Japanese TV I feel like I'm being sprayed in coloured vomit.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Quietlife
Des Esseintes said:
Same here but it appears that I'm gonna have to improve my Japanese skills fairly dramatically in the coming years if I want to progress in my job.
Reading and writing I can work on that by myself but the hardest part is listening comprehension. People recommend watching TV but every time I turn on Japanese TV I feel like I'm being sprayed in coloured vomit.
Click to expand...

Yes it's helpful professionally and in daily life but not a guarantee to make local friends.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes and just4fun
Lukes said:
I have Japanese acquaintances but I don't think I could call them "friends" in the true sense. Even the foreigners I'm acquainted with over there are hard to make friends with, lol.
Click to expand...

As a matter of curiosity, what is your definition of friend? because i guess it's really depend on your cultural background
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes
Most people form their friendships when they are growing up, so up to high school or university. And most foreigners come to Japan when they are already adults, or at least young adults so it is quite understandable if they don't have many Japanese friends.

Better question would be how many new Japanese vs. other friends you have made since moving to Japan.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes
User#8628 said:
I just had a catfight with my closest Japanese friend a few days ago for prioritizing escorting (which was an appointment that i had sceduled first to be honest) over spending halloween with her. So thats one less.
Click to expand...

MikeH said:
Nyah, if she really was a friend you'll get over it.
Click to expand...

Agree with @MikeH on this one. True friends would not let something like this get in the way of their friendship.

MikeH said:
Though your use of the world "catfight" in connection to your Japanese friend made me want to request a video. :eek::D
Click to expand...

Meow! Actually I've always thought @User#8628 would be the perfect model for a catwoman-themed photoshoot. :D
 
  • Like
Reactions: Malick, Des Esseintes, owlet and 3 others
librelu said:
As a matter of curiosity, what is your definition of friend? because i guess it's really depend on your cultural background
Click to expand...

Hard subject to condense down into a short piece but I'll try.

To me a friend is someone you would willingly put yourself (or reputation, etc) at risk for if necessary (and vice versa). Someone that you could call on in a bad situation and know that they will be there without letting any B.S. get in the way.

I know that's a very American view but I have friends like that and consider myself lucky to meet such people. We haven't known each other our whole lives either. We met as adults. Not that I would know but I think that's mostly reserved for lifelong friends in Japan.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes, owlet, cabbie and 2 others
I used to have Japanese friends but since my Japanese has improved and I decided not to give free English lessons I now have zero Japanese friends. In fact I don’t have any friends because most of the foreigner friends I had just want to make friends with Japanese people and openly admit to being ok with being used for free lessons. So basically I just work go home rinse repeat.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes and Lukes
I concur with the above.... very difficult to make Japanese friends... Even known them for 10 years... but I subscribe to @Lukes definition of friend... no matter what, you can count on them. I have maybe 3 true friends like this so I'm very lucky... but none of them are in Japan or Japanese. It doesn't bother me tho... I enjoy not having the commitments that friendship sometimes requires. Like @Alice
said, she lost one during a catfight... but a true friend would not let something so little destroy a relationship IMO... more cat's out there for you Alice... just remove the claws so you don't get scratched:p
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes, Anna Summer and Lukes
I'd say 50/50

I played rugby for about 10years, and some of the J boys in the team are some of my best friends.

For me a good friend is one that even after being apart for a few years you click straight back in.

So if you want J friends, join an activity, but bolden up and do it yourself. Taking another gaijin along won't help the process.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Malick, Des Esseintes, Unhurried Harry and 4 others
scorpioni6ths said:
but I do consider *some* of the girls that I've met as friends. disregarding the payments, etc ... they know more about me than my real friends back home.
Click to expand...
having had sex with someone, there's just something which makes it so much more comfortable to open up to them. Like an 'accelerated friend program' :).
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes, AliceInWonderland, Lukes and 1 other person
scorpioni6ths said:
same ...

but I do consider *some* of the girls that I've met as friends. disregarding the payments, etc ... they know more about me than my real friends back home.
Click to expand...

This.
I’ve met some great people in Japan in my line of work, and I consider them as part of my close friends in the industry.
The lifelong friends I’ve made are mostly from high school to university.
But the bonds I’ve established with a select few ladies over the years are on a different level. I like to think that we’ll remain friends through the good and bad times.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes, AliceInWonderland and Quietlife
Zero... Japanese. One... Jamaican. Zero... any others. I no longer trust people... nor, am I willing to. It comes with age.
 
i got a lot of acquaintances, and i would say about 10 people i consider friends, a few of them close ones... i dont know a single foreigner here, though...
was never a big problem for me to get those friends... though i understand that some people struggle with that...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes
I’m pushing 20 years over here and have very few Japanese friends. In fact I probably have fewer foreign friends that I met here during that time. Closest friends would be those I grew up with, but don’t contact them much. Although when I do it’s just like old times.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Des Esseintes
You must log in or register to reply here.