How Much Do You Reveal?

Discussion in 'Questions, Answers & Warnings' started by User#3673, Jul 28, 2014.

  1. User#3673

    User#3673 TAG Member

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    At times some of the ladies I am with for P4P ask to see a photo of my kids or even my wife. Does this happen to you? Do you ever show a picture? I never have. I feel uncomfortable when they have asked.

    Usually they want to see a picture of my kids.

    I guess they want to make things warmer but for me it is going a bit too far. How do you feel if you are asked this?

    I have read it is best to be very vague about everything. I never state where I work. I talk about what I do but in general terms.

    I also talk about where I live, but again in general terms.

    One reason I do P4P over an affair is to avoid any potential hassle, like someone showing up at home or at work.

    And I do know of this happening to friends with women they have had affairs with. Not P4P ladies.

    But I am a little surprised that some women in P4P will ask questions that would reveal exactly where I work or where I live etc. - were I to answer truthfully.

    I thought they would be more discreet about asking such questions too.

    Any comments appreciated.
     
  2. k1234k

    k1234k TAG Member

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    Why not invent a persona? For my mongering, I am a once-divorced vice president of a multi-national company who is so work obsessed that I need to take a break from it all with some p4p. I don't go overboard with bragging, rather try to be coy and only tell them this back story if they are persistent with questions. The girls are impressed, and openly wonder if I can pull off a Pretty Woman and raise them from rags to riches.

    I'd like to think that I get better service by giving myself a boost in salary and title.

    Give it a shot- it make things more fun.
     
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  3. Kitty Carr

    Kitty CarrKitty Carr is a Verified Member TAG Member

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    A good escort knows that asking a
    client personal questions when he doesn't lead the discussion that way himself is unprofessional and just really poor form. Ditto goes for clients who try to pressure the girl into revealing personal information when she doesn't offer it. 'What's your real name?' is a classic.

    Some girls aren't good at holding a conversation about non-personal topics - or don't have the language skills to do so - so it might just be her resorting to standard conversation themes rather than attempting to pump you for blackmail material. You're well within your rights to say 'I don't want to talk about that' (in a nice way, ideally) and shut the topic down.

    In my opinion the P4P date should be a fantasy space where reality doesn't intrude if you don't want it to. I think creating a persona for the hobby is actually a really good idea if the thought of sharing personal information worries you.
     
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  4. Nitr0

    Nitr0 TAG Member

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    This actually happens to me fairly often.
    Usually the girl will say she is very surprised I don't have a gf, to which I reply that I'm married to Japanese woman and have two young kids. This usually surprises them as most Japanese guess my age at around 25 (I'm actually in my early 30s).
    Often she will want to see photos of them, and while I can certainly see how you might be uncomfortable, I will usually show her as I don't see the harm in viewing a photo on my phone as it doesn't reveal any information she could use to find me. Usually the girl fawns over my kids saying something about how hafu are super cute. It seems it's one factor (along with language ability, appearance, etc.) that helps put the girl at ease, which often results in a better experience.

    I would never reveal anything that a girl could use to find me, such as the exact place I live, my company, my full name, etc. However, I very rarely get a girl asking for that info.
    I do use my real first name as it's a very common name and it's just easier not to have to remember to use a fake name.

    I agree for those of us who are married avoiding hassles is a big reason to go for p4p over an affair. I was determined to only go with p4p at least until my kids got older. However, a couple weeks ago I was drinking with a buddy and I apparently caught the eye of a young uni student who came over to our table. Despite telling her I was married we were making out within minutes of meeting and ended up in a hotel that first night. We've met a couple times since and it seems she is fine with just playing and is not looking for anything serious anyway (in fact, she says she wants to go on a working holiday for a couple years), probably because she is still only 21. This is in big contrast to a few months ago when I met a woman in her early 30s and within half an hour of meeting she was telling me to leave my family and date her. WTF?!? Obviously I got the fuck out of there and did not exchange contact info.
     
  5. TAG Manager

    Executive Leadership

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    Nice. Literally falling into your lap!

    P4p is definitely the more secure route to go when involved in marriage but want to avoid the 'strings' of an affair.

    I'll take a moment to remind people: Keep a lock on your phone and always keep your wallet protected. Still hear about cases from time to time about things being stolen from ladies as well as the clients. Two-way street!
     
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  6. Panda989

    Panda989 Super Fantastic Member

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    For me it alldepends on my mood really, i am sure i have said some truths, and at times either flat out lied, or avoided. usually the better the english and more comfortable i am the more i may share. i dont have pictures of anyone in my life on my devices, and i usually take off the ring. i dont know why as they always assume i am married anyway, i guess its a mental thing.

    if i can have a real conversation then its more likely that i wll give a bit of info, as if you cant hear me bitch about life then you arent in the room with me.

    I would say that the more professional the women, the more likely that these topics dont come up.
     
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  7. Solong

    Solong TAG Member

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    Bro, NEVER give personal information to a P4P woman, unless she gives you her private information first and she becomes a real girlfriend.

    That's because you are endangering yourself, and making yourself susceptible to black mail or her selling information about you.

    My opinion is a guy can get too carried away with the GFE. And these P4P women are often not giving their personal information in return, so that is how you can tell something is wrong. Where is her pictures, mobile number, ID card, or apartment address?
     
  8. matt_j

    matt_j TAG Member

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    Nice job! Whereabouts did this happen?
     
  9. Raven

    Raven TAG Member

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    Giving some personal information is usually a good way to start a conversation under such a situation. Consequently you can also ask for her private information. However I would agree that you should not say anything which make her identify you easily. I would recommend lying.
     
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  10. johnnyboy84

    johnnyboy84 TAG Member

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    well, whatever info i give is basic and would talk about on a first date with any regular girl. nothing way too personal like my address or exact workplace. they ask about where i am from and what my home state is like, why i came to japan, how i learned japanese, my hobbies, sports and music i like, my time in the Air Force, bits and pieces of mylife story etc. i keep it basic and easy. i also ask basic stuff about the girls like whether or not they are from Tokyo. Some girls claim to be from Hiroshima, Fukuoka and so on. If thats the truth then whatever. I really dont expect them to tell the truth as long as we can keep a conversation flowing and make a good bfe/gfe for the both of us.

    With a small handful oo girls,I do show pics of my sisters kids back in America. They like to say they are cute and if they have a kid with me if they can look like them and all that. My sisters youngest boy does look like me when I was his age and I showed a pic of me when I was a child for them to compare.

    I also show some girls of pics and videos of me posing and sparring with boxers, K1 fighters and MMA fighters from my phone as well.

    With one girl I see, she is surprised I dont have anyone special in my life and I like to tell her shes the closest thing I have. She likes to tell me I treat her better than her previous real boyfriends in her life ever had. This girl reminds me of the last woman I ever truly loved so she gets special treatment from me.

    I also ask the girls if they have any big plans in life since they cant do this job forever. Many of them want to start their own business or go to school. One girl I frequently see says she wants to start her own restaurant and I told her I would be a customer for her and only choose her to which she likes. A lot of girls want to have their own families but they feel their pasts wont let them have long term relationships, etc. I only had one girl who openly admitted to me she was married and she was a Korean and only one girl admitted to me she had a boyfriend. They both admit they are afraid of getting pregnant.

    I have met girls educated in IT technology, nursing and education. Then we can have conversations in relation to those fields. One of my friends managed tot find a girl who is a high school English teacher and they talk in English all the time. And she only works if he calls and reserves her
     
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  11. Nikkei Guy

    Nikkei Guy TAG Member

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    I have no problem telling the ladies I'm married and have kids. I might talk about work a little, but never say the company name. I'll also about talk the area I live. I usually use my own name, but not full name.

    I fully agree with above comments of not giving out too much info unless it is reciprocally shared. I rarely give out my email or phone.

    I'm surprised because at some hostess bars the girls ask for a business card. I would never give out myself but have seen Japanese colleagues do it on numerous occasions.

    P4P keeps things simple. I've done the affair thing and although fun at times, too many headaches.
     
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  12. Nitr0

    Nitr0 TAG Member

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    I am based in Kansai and this happened at Zaza Pub in Kyoto in the heart of the Kiyamachi nightlife district.

    However, I travel to Tokyo every few months and this last spring I had a similar thing at club Womb in Shibuya.
    The atmosphere there actually didn't have much of a pick-up vibe in my opinion and the electronic music they were playing wasn't really conducive to grinding with girls (no one was grinding/making out on the dance floor really). Around 3am I got tired and took a break on a bench and kind of leaned against the wall half asleep. After a bit a 20 year old uni student approached to ask how I was doing and we ended up at a hotel that night and I have seen her a couple times when I'm back in Tokyo. The fact that I'm her type certainly helped but biggest factor is that she came with a friend and her friend had already hooked up with a guy and left, so I guess she didn't want to be outdone. lol
     
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