How much sexual attraction do you need to start a relationship that you know can only be serious?

[Des Esseintes]

in case you dont feel any sexual attraction, do you start the relationship then? or what happens if she isnt sexually attracted (to you or in general)?

I would start a relationship without sexual attraction if there are no overly bad consequences to be expected once the relation ends. If she's not attracted to me then what do you expect me to do?

 

[vondoom]

yeah i dont know, thats why i ask... i had one gf once who wasnt attracted when it came to sex... i didnt have miuch of a problem with that... i dont even think that that was a problem that came from my side...

 

[Des Esseintes]

Oh you mean being in a relationship with a girl who isn't attracted to you at all... I thought you meant how do you start a relationship with someone who isn't attracted to you, to which the answer would of course be I don't. I have to say it has never happened to me because why would she want to start a relationship in the first place if she's not attracted?
There was this one asexual girl but I think she was as attracted to me as she possibly could but the relationship ended pretty quickly.

 

[vondoom]

now i actually wonder how i would ever notice if someone is attracted to me before i start dating her... except when its totally obvious...

 

[Des Esseintes]

now i actually wonder how i would ever notice if someone is attracted to me before i start dating her... except when its totally obvious...

If she's biting her lower lip or grabbing your arm when she looks at you, you can be pretty sure she's at least not repelled by you.
I used to think long silent stares in the middle of a conversation were a good sign but in Japan they're usually only trying to figure out what colour my eyes are.
Apart from that I'm just as clueless as you.

Otherwise of course you could just ask them. Not necessarily point blank but there are sideways paths that can lead there.

 

[e-smile]

It's all in the title. If you know that - for whatever reason (in my case, having known each other for a long time plus lots of common friends) - once you've had sex there's no going back, how much sexual attraction do you need before you take the plunge? Does it have to be like irresistible or just sort of, "why not?" would be enough for you? - knowing that beyond that you have tons in common and enjoy spending time together.

a "why not" would definitely not be enough for me. if we have ton in common and the sex wasn't satisfying I switch back to friends mode.

 

[vondoom]

i somehow think that japanese dont show in any way, unless alone... at least i barely ever see that, my friends also dont do that, except for two couples...