How to close/escalate on dates?

[Halper98]

I'm currently a university student that is currently living in Japan and have been struggling with escalation side of the game.

I have dates that I go on, but they all end up the same way where we have dinner and then it usually ends with with me walking her to the station and a goodbye without any kiss or any kind of physical escalation.

Any suggestions on how I suggest we move to a more private location?

What would be the best way to avoid my dates ending in this usual way and escalating it to the next level?

 

[e-smile]

you say nothing about what happens it the dinner and how you meet them, how are the vibes, what's your attitude so I can't know what's going wrong but things are supposed to happen naturally without strategy

 

[Halper98]

you say nothing about what happens it the dinner and how you meet them, how are the vibes, what's your attitude so I can't know what's going wrong but things are supposed to happen naturally without strategy

I usually meet them in the bar scene or through other social activities such as meetups. I never have attempted to go for the same night lay when I first meet them. I get their info and message them to set up a date. They usually do come, rarely have I had one flake on me but I feel like get good vibes during the dinner and then I usually don't hear from them we part ways.

I also am terrible at reading the air and where a conversation is usually going as a result.

 

[e-smile]

I usually meet them in the bar scene or through other social activities such as meetups. I never have attempted to go for the same night lay when I first meet them. I get their info and message them to set up a date. They usually do come, rarely have I had one flake on me but I feel like get good vibes during the dinner and then I usually don't hear from them we part ways.

I also am terrible at reading the air and where a conversation is usually going as a result.

how far do you go the first time in the bar ? how distant are you when you meet the second time ? do you mimic their attitude and become as distant as they are (Japanese girls are usually shy and it may look like they have boundaries) or are you being natural and behaving as someone who's attracted by her ?

 

[Halper98]

how far do you go the first time in the bar ? how distant are you when you meet the second time ? do you mimic their attitude and become as distant as they are (Japanese girls are usually shy and it may look like they have boundaries) or are you being natural and behaving as someone who's attracted by her ?

Nothing too physical the first time, I wouldn't consider myself distant at all. I usually like to ask questions such as how is your life, what are your plans today, what are your goals? etc...

The difficulty for me is finding what the Japanese girls boundaries are understanding what their true intentions really are.

 

[Desktop]

Skip the dinner. Invite them to go drinking or clubbing with you next time. Dance drink act silly bail out to a love Hotel around 2am.

 

[Lukes]

Nothing too physical the first time, I wouldn't consider myself distant at all. I usually like to ask questions such as how is your life, what are your plans today, what are your goals? etc...

The difficulty for me is finding what the Japanese girls boundaries are understanding what their true intentions really are.

Well there's your problem. You don't need to ask deep questions or know their true intentions. The Japanese are a private people and they're probably feeding you BS when they answer anyways.

If the ultimate goal here is to get them in bed, you need to focus on having a good time and getting them into an escapist, "fuck it, let's blow off some steam and do something crazy" mentality. Instead of dinner, go to a nightclub or a bar, make her laugh, get intimate and then take her to a love hotel.

 

[Babaram]

Any suggestions on how I suggest we move to a more private location?

What would be the best way to avoid my dates ending in this usual way and escalating it to the next level?

Deliver her to the station at 1am, apologize profusely for having forgotten that the last train has long departed, and mention that you just happen to have a nice place close by, and a large collection of etchings.

 

[Halper98]

Well there's your problem. You don't need to ask deep questions or know their true intentions. The Japanese are a private people and they're probably feeding you BS when they answer anyways.

If the ultimate goal here is to get them in bed, you need to focus on having a good time and getting them into an escapist, "fuck it, let's blow off some steam and do something crazy" mentality. Instead of dinner, go to a nightclub or a bar, make her laugh, get intimate and then take her to a love hotel.

So have fun, make her feel like she is escaping reality.
1.Meet at bar or nightclub
2.Drink
3. Take her to love hotel

Got it all

 

[Lukes]

So have fun, make her feel like she is escaping reality.
1.Meet at bar or nightclub
2.Drink
3. Take her to love hotel

Got it all

Now that's the spirit!

 

[Ddddd]

Deliver her to the station at 1am, apologize profusely for having forgotten that the last train has long departed,

This. Bringing a date to the station before the last train departed is a sign that you are not interested in her.

My advice. Meet a bit late, go for a light dinner. Propose her to go for a drink after the dinner, loose the last train. Tell her to go to sleep somewhere (that you already planned for).

If at any moment she says that she wants to go home, don't take it bad. Maybe she is tired, or have her period, or didn't shave, or she thinks that a decent girl should not get laid on the first date. Just smile and tell her that you would have loved to loose the last train with her.

If she agrees to date again, she will be prepared. If not, she will not make you loose your time and money anymore.

 

[Frenchy]

My advice: skip the dinner, pay her.

 

[oLUXo]

My advice: skip the dinner, pay her.


View attachment 10915

Or just ask to be her daddy

 

[MikeH]

Dance drink act silly bail out to a love Hotel around 2am.

Only young and fool have the energy to do that. We old folks have already done three rounds and on our way home way before those young guys are even trying to find a room.

What would be the best way to avoid my dates ending in this usual way and escalating it to the next level?

Forget the equality bullshit and act like a man. That's what the girls are expecting too. Of course they will be happy to go on endless dinners and just eat and talk. Still they won't initiate anything, they are all fine having a nice gay friend like you. Or that is at least what they will think if you don't show them you want to do something more too.

It is not what kind of physical escalation you do after the dinner and on the way to the station but what happens during the dinner. It's all fine talking about future goals in life but if you want more than talk you need to lead the discussion there first.

 

[MossBoss]

I
What would be the best way to avoid my dates ending in this usual way and escalating it to the next level?

My advice is to not to necessarily escalate the date on the first date. You don’t need to put pressure on yourself trying to get her into bed on the first date. Concentrate on using your best stories and jokes to come across as a nice guy.

After the date do a lot of Line exchanges. And when she says something like she is too tired or stressed say you are good at massages (it doesn’t matter if you are or not). Then say there are lots of ‘short stay hotels’ in Shibuya where you can go after your next date.

If she seems positive - it means you have the action guaranteed next date. In the room she will forget all about the promised ‘massage’.

If she seems negative about going to a ‘dirty love hotel’ - cut your losses. After a week or so, Line her and tell her you have found someone else.

 

[MikeH]

In the room she will forget all about the promised ‘massage’.

Or better yet give her the massage. It's a great form of foreplay especially if she is, or pretends to be, shy and you'll certainly give her a better massage than any local guy has done. As none has.

 

[warubuta]

Or better yet give her the massage. It's a great form of foreplay especially if she is, or pretends to be, shy and you'll certainly give her a better massage than any local guy has done. As none has.

Massage is not a great form of foreplay. If you are alone with a woman and she agrees to a massage, she has already agreed to have sex. Most women, while they are getting massaged, are thinking, “When is this lug nut going to cease with the shoulder rubbing and stick his pecker in me?”

 

[BB0523]

OP ...What others have said ..Japanese women want the man to lead . You picked the restaurant , now pick the next place ...After dinner drink at a more chill bar. ..Then while there hold her hand and talk about her finger nail art or size of her hands , ur holding her hand regardless ..
Then bring it up to kiss the top of her hand .. Cheezy - yes . .But don't forget she is looking for her prince charming. .. Even if for one night
Then whisper in her ear u really want to kiss her ... Is it ok to do it there at the chill bar ? If she says yes .. Then move to another location for more relaxing time ...

Don't forget to report on ur results ...As many TAGsters have given to you ...You need to report on what worked and what didn't ...

 

[MikeH]

“When is this lug nut going to cease with the shoulder rubbing and stick his pecker in me?”

Shoulders? Oh yeah, I've heard you can massage shoulders too.

 

[BB0523]

Shoulders? Oh yeah, I've heard you can massage shoulders too.

I've heard that as well... as you well know.... with a spinner, it's usually done during Doggie

 

[User#8628]

Or better yet give her the massage. It's a great form of foreplay especially if she is, or pretends to be, shy and you'll certainly give her a better massage than any local guy has done. As none has.

Not true, Asians are the best massagers hands down.

 

[oLUXo]

Not true, Asians are the best massagers hands down.

You just haven't met my hands yet

 

[Sinapse]

I'm currently a university student that is currently living in Japan and have been struggling with escalation side of the game.

I have dates that I go on, but they all end up the same way where we have dinner and then it usually ends with with me walking her to the station and a goodbye without any kiss or any kind of physical escalation.

Any suggestions on how I suggest we move to a more private location?

What would be the best way to avoid my dates ending in this usual way and escalating it to the next level?

Here's what you do put as simply as possible:

Enjoy the date. Have fun at the venue. Don't put on a fake or weird personality. Don't shoot to "overstay her train" as your prime strategy (can be a secondary strategy, but often she will actually have to go home as she has work/obligations next day, so it shouldn't be your first option. Girls will appreciate you doing the deed with enough time for them to get home still if they need to [P.S.- hilarious to me how mongers cry that pickup isdeceitful and manipulative then when it's time to give advice some say "yeah just make her miss her train and feign ignorance" --- this is of course a legit strategy but white knighting yourself and morally jacking yourself off puts you in a corner eh ]
)

Spend no more than 1.5 hours eating and drinking at whatever bar or izakaya you like. Maybe briefly take her somewhere else like a game center. Briefly. By this point there should be some incidental bumping/touching of various kinds. Then simply say 次行こう and walk her where you want. Somewhere isolated like karaoke, private net cafe (NOT the normal ones but the ones with full private rooms) or love hotel. Say リラックスしよう or ゆっくりしよう and walk in without waiting for her response. She might give resistance. Just simply restate that Japanese again. If she freaks out or tells you its abnormal just tell her it's normal and try to walk in again.

If that fails go to karaoke and escalate in there.

To be honest your biggest mistake is not even trying to pull the girl somewhere you can bang her. You should imagine that NOT trying to bang a girl is an insult and basically you're telling her she's not desirable. Just try at the very least and you will succeed some of the time

 

[MikeH]

Not true, Asians are the best massagers hands down.

Yeah, but we were discussing shoulder massages, not those ones were his hands are massaging you down there.

But Asians, yeah. Japanese, "not so much" like Borat would say.

 

[aPimpNamedBoo]

Here's what you do put as simply as possible:

Enjoy the date. Have fun at the venue. Don't put on a fake or weird personality. Don't shoot to "overstay her train" as your prime strategy (can be a secondary strategy, but often she will actually have to go home as she has work/obligations next day, so it shouldn't be your first option. Girls will appreciate you doing the deed with enough time for them to get home still if they need to [P.S.- hilarious to me how mongers cry that pickup isdeceitful and manipulative then when it's time to give advice some say "yeah just make her miss her train and feign ignorance" --- this is of course a legit strategy but white knighting yourself and morally jacking yourself off puts you in a corner eh ]
)

Spend no more than 1.5 hours eating and drinking at whatever bar or izakaya you like. Maybe briefly take her somewhere else like a game center. Briefly. By this point there should be some incidental bumping/touching of various kinds. Then simply say 次行こう and walk her where you want. Somewhere isolated like karaoke, private net cafe (NOT the normal ones but the ones with full private rooms) or love hotel. Say リラックスしよう or ゆっくりしよう and walk in without waiting for her response. She might give resistance. Just simply restate that Japanese again. If she freaks out or tells you its abnormal just tell her it's normal and try to walk in again.

If that fails go to karaoke and escalate in there.

To be honest your biggest mistake is not even trying to pull the girl somewhere you can bang her. You should imagine that NOT trying to bang a girl is an insult and basically you're telling her she's not desirable. Just try at the very least and you will succeed some of the time

Great advice, thank you. I feel like I have the exact same problem as OP. I can easily find dates from tinder, pull girls from meetups and events, but when we actually go on a date, its more or less just dinner, walking around, and then train home (I live far).

Will try having some private spots planned for after dates.